Might need Help

[Serene Imp]

Short and sweet back story- I started cutting when I was 13, I'm now 22.

I'm going through some pretty mentally and emotionally touch stuff right now, and I know I'm 'only 22' but I've been through so much in my life already I feel like an old soul.
Any who, I started cutting again, well more often and without my 'precautions'. I used to hid it on my ribs but they have so much scar tissue I don't enjoy it anymore, so it moved to my hips and the same thing started to happen so now it my upper outer thigh. But in the past week it's been on my arm, I haven't done that since like 14 when I got caught with it for the first time.
Um, where am I going with this... it's like a boost, an antidepressant. I don't know if I want to go get help and get actual meds (no health insurance) or just keep doing this. After I cut I'm a whole different person, happy, hyper, carefree, nothing that was weighing on my mind bothers me, I forget about it for the rest of the day. So I can't really look at this as completely bad, yet a part of me says it is. Their not really big or anything, only when I'm drunk do I kinda go to town :/
I guess I'm asking how any of you stopped, or cope. If there's really anything a Dr can do besides make it worse? Cause the only time I find I don't do it is when I have drugs or alcohol, which isn't much better...

 

[severely etarded]

If you are not physically handicap, I would recommend some intense exercise. Jogging usually brings a similar rush to the one you describe. Except the pain in your legs from jogging is actually both physically and mentally beneficial, not just mentally at the risk of harming yourself (like drugs).

Usually I feel much better after jogging. It's the motivation to get out of the house and do it that's usually the hard part.

You could talk to a doctor about meds, but honestly, I think meds should always be a last resort when natural remedies like a good diet and exercise have failed.

You'd be surprised the kind of rush you can get from a good long session of intense heart pounding breath-taking workout.

Obviously if that does nothing for you, a is definitely a good idea. I am curious, also, if anybody else knows a way someone like us can get professional help in the USA, without insurance or money

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I would suggest with addressing whatever led to you beginning this.

If you can admit that you have things you need to work on, things like this are less likely to persist.

You aren't alone, if that makes you feel better about having to go through this. I don't personally self-injure or cut myself but I definitely don't look down on people for this.

It is also important to talk about whatever is bothering you, there are many other people here who I am sure can relate to you.

 

[herbavore]

Short and sweet back story- I started cutting when I was 13, I'm now 22.

I'm going through some pretty mentally and emotionally touch stuff right now, and I know I'm 'only 22' but I've been through so much in my life already I feel like an old soul.
Any who, I started cutting again, well more often and without my 'precautions'. I used to hid it on my ribs but they have so much scar tissue I don't enjoy it anymore, so it moved to my hips and the same thing started to happen so now it my upper outer thigh. But in the past week it's been on my arm, I haven't done that since like 14 when I got caught with it for the first time.
Um, where am I going with this... it's like a boost, an antidepressant. I don't know if I want to go get help and get actual meds (no health insurance) or just keep doing this. After I cut I'm a whole different person, happy, hyper, carefree, nothing that was weighing on my mind bothers me, I forget about it for the rest of the day. So I can't really look at this as completely bad, yet a part of me says it is. Their not really big or anything, only when I'm drunk do I kinda go to town :/
I guess I'm asking how any of you stopped, or cope. If there's really anything a Dr can do besides make it worse? Cause the only time I find I don't do it is when I have drugs or alcohol, which isn't much better...

I used to cut my arms (many years ago). Unlike you though, it not only did not make me feel better, but created a deep sense of shame in me. I think that both Captain Heroin and Severely Etarded are right on in their advice. I came to see that cutting for me was literally an attempt, a physical real metaphor almost, for bringing what was deep inside to the surface. It was the stuff about myself that I could not admit to or face (a deep self-loathing in my case). When I actually faced that truth and began to work on it rather than run from it (with drugs, relationships, etc) I stopped cutting. I wrote, I ran, I swam, I ate better, I went to counseling and actually opened up instead of trying to present a romanticized view of myself to the counselor. I learned to live by myself which was huge. i know you say that you are not sure if you want to give it up yet, but it seems like you do--but it's scary to consider. Confronting what we are most afraid of is the most powerful thing we can do for ourselves. The sense of freedom is better than any high and it lasts forever. I would think going to a counselor would be better than going to a doctor.

I am curious, also, if anybody else knows a way someone like us can get professional help in the USA, without insurance or money

Our country is disgusting in this regard but here are some options to try. If you are a student there are a lot of "free" (included in your fees) services including counseling. Every county has a Mental Health dept. and these people can often get you hooked up with a variety of services. I live in a pretty progressive town/county so maybe this isn't as good everywhere in the U.S. But I also live in a broke state so maybe it is actually better?