Have you known a couple whose love has never died? (and partial vent)

[carolyn11491]

I love both of my parents very much. Since ive gone away to college three years ago I feel there love has died but they just do not want to admit it. They always come to me, I am an only child, and complain about eachother every chance they get. I can blame them though because they cannot vent to anyone else. But I never say a word because I could never take sides.

This started out with the intense screaming and shouting and plate breaking while I was still at home. Gradually got worse to where my dad would leave or I would because I couldnt take the arguing anymore. There reasons for fighting? Ive forgotten but I know it wasnt over something like one of them cheated or something. They just would disagree about EVERYTHING.

Now its a few years later and who I really feel sorry for is my dad. He just gives in now. Whenever they start to argue my dad just lets my mom get her way, just so he doesnt have to hear it. And that isnt fair but then again my mother could be right some of those times. They have absolutly nothing in common anymore and avoid eachother as much as they can unless theyre real lonely. I havent seen them kiss in probably 10 years and when they hug you can tell theyre distant.

I know there love is dead and it saddens me to see them pretend. I honestly think theyd both be happy if they seperated, but I know neither of them have the courage to ask. They have been married since they were 21 and now in there 50s so maybe they just grew apart. They would never hurt eachother or do anything manipulative but no sign of true love is present. I just wish there was a way I could make them both happy.

This also worries me about my future relationship with my boyfriend (soon to be fiance). We live together and although we argue sometimes like all couples we know we love eachother so much. And I know my parents felt the same way in the beginning. Theyre relationship has me scared for mine. Will we turn out like them?

Anyways......my question to everyone is if theyve known a couple to trully love eachother to the grave? Or do you think your relationship could stand the test of time? Do you even think its possible for two people to love eachother forever?


Sorry if anyone finds this corny or annoying but im currently going through opiate withdrawls and I get depressed and very emotional. And it might make me smile alittle If could help someone blow off stem about their relationship, their parents relationship, someone they know, or just feel like there input matters. I think its good to get emotional sometimes

 

[OverDone]

Hi Carolyn, it sucks to see those we love fall out of loved and I can relate to your fears.

for organizations sale, this is probably more suited for our Sex Love and Relationships forum. I AM curious to see what our TDS folks , have to say, though.

Just a heads up that we may move this at some point

 

[Sheffsam]

The only couple I know I could say that about are my own parents. They met at university, and absconded to Scotland to get married, as neither of their parents approved of the match. Since then they've spent most of their lives raising me and my 4 brothers, and doing research and charity work, so pretty much always with each other. Now retired and in their 60s they still complete each others sentences and walk down the street holding hands.

So have faith, I think there's every chance you could have a relationship like that.

 

[Dave]

^ That is beautiful.

Off the top of my head, the only ones that I can think of are my parents and paternal grandparents. Last year was a rough year for relationships within my social circles: two divorces, one near-divorce, and three long-term relationships (as in common-law married) ended... badly. My parents have had highs and lows, and they still get on each others' nerves, but every now and then there are little behaviours that show that they still love each other dearly. With my dad finally getting proper treatment for his depression (among other things), I hope to only see more of that.

 

[carolyn11491]

Sheffsam....im so glad to hear that. Your parents are so lucky to still act the way they did when they first met. They seem like amazing people. Thanks for sharing that information. It made me smile.

Overdone....thanks for the heads up and taking your time to read my entry. I really appreciate your advice about where to put a thread like mine. Im still kind of new to this great and helpful website!

Dave...Im sorry to hear about your friends relationship problems. I hope you can still be able to remain friends with all of them and not have to "choose a side". Im happy for you about your father though....hope he feels better with the proper medications. It can do wonders for people.

I really appreciate all of your feedback and it makes me feel good when people can relate and give advice when im feeling down!

 

[Legerity]

I guess it depends what love is for you. I have not seen many relationships that I would like to be in myself, but some people do seem to go well with one another. I think there may be a more generalized long-lasting time of affection that is not necessarily the same as the initial passion.

But also any relationship is a learning experience; it's only because of our society that we consider separation to be a failure. Anyways, you are not doomed to recreate the relationship of your parents

 

[Metaphormidable]

My mom and steepest have been together 20 years and they act like a couple of high school kids with each other.... It definitely happens

 

[Metaphormidable]

I meant step dad... Auto correct got me.

 

[sockpuppet]

edit

 

[panic in paradise]

I guess it depends what love is for you. I have not seen many relationships that I would like to be in myself, but some people do seem to go well with one another. I think there may be a more generalized long-lasting time of affection that is not necessarily the same as the initial passion.

But also any relationship is a learning experience; it's only because of our society that we consider separation to be a failure. Anyways, you are not doomed to recreate the relationship of your parents

high-lighted portion is what i was wanting to try and say -
it is true, and a destructive useless belief.

 

[hustlababy09]

My grandparents were married for almost 70 years, and my grandpa just passed away last summer. I've never seen a love like theirs. I really look up to them, because by just being in the room with them and hearing how they talk to each other you can tell how intense their love is. My grandpa absolutely hated to see my grandma cry, my grandma took care of him until the day he died, and he died holding her hand. I can only hope and pray that my relationship turns out even half as good as theirs. Nothing is impossible. Every couple is unique. Just because your parents fight doesn't mean that your relationship will be the same. YES, it's possible that you and your boyfriend won't be together forever. It's also possible that you two will have a loving, lasting, amazing relationship. My advice to you to give you two better "odds" are staying together would be to: 1.) always try to keep the spark alive. 2.) Don't over think things and worry about breaking up too much or you won't be able to enjoy each other. 3.)(I can't stress this one enough!!) COMMUNICATE with each other. I read somewhere that if you two get in a fight, and one person leaves instead of talking it out, you are around 60% more likely to break up. Good luck to you, I wish you two the best!! :D