Not doing well....

itaintreggieham

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Sep 7, 2011
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aboout 9 weeks ago I took xanax and percocet, and went into a coma 5 days after my 18th birthday. I woke up eventually(obviously) but I could not walk or talk. I was anoxic for 8 minutes apparently and I have some brain damage. I want to say I'm grateful I didn't die , but I'm not. I've felt depressed and lonely ever since. I'm in a tough position because I am unable to do many things or see my friends. I feel like there is a part of my life that's empty and I feel a loneliness that no person could ever fill. I don't know what to do :(
 
I'm not going to pretend to imagine how you are feeling. Has there been any information provided by your doctor inferring whether the damage is repairable? I hope so. If you need to talk, we're here <3
 
As hard as it may seem, you are very lucky to be alive. consider this an opportunity to better yourself and maybe remove yourself from using drugs such as that. most importantly, find somebody you care about. Whether it be a friend or a lover, be sure they're with you, and if you don't think there's one out there for you, you'll find them (: NEVER feel like you have to go through life alone, we weren't ever meant to. Don't give up now, consider this to be the second chance not many people get.
Best of luck in the future.
 
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^^^

Agree with all of the above but I would not advice taking up smoking weed, it can often bring on paranoia and is just adding more drugs to your system which is the last thing your brain needs right now.

Hang on in there things will get better, you will not feel like this forever you have a whole lifetime to try and work it out, you post is coherent so although you may suffer long term problems you are functional in at least some ways even at this early stage and I assume you are receiving medical help.

Best wishes and I hope a little happyness srts crepping back into your life soon :)
 
Go ahead and discover the wonders of weed...

I'm sick of these 'just get stoned' posts. Weed is one of the worst drugs a depressed person could possibly use, to the extent that it's neurotoxic, unlike benzos and opiates. But surely the point is that a person in this position should just avoid drugs altogether.

What sort of brain damage has the OP suffered? And why did he/she take the overdose?
 
I'm sick of these 'just get stoned' posts. Weed is one of the worst drugs a depressed person could possibly use, to the extent that it's neurotoxic, unlike benzos and opiates.

Agreed. Folks seem to believe its some sort of magical solution to everything and anything. Its not good advice to suggest to some Internet random that weed will fix them. It isn't realistic, and its a very flippant and careless response to someone who is struggling
 
I overdosed on accident....and I think my heart was already damaged from cocaine, adderall, and ecstasy. I have to do physical and speech therapy, and my hearing is gone now but the doctors said that should be temporary
 
itaintreggieham, I am sorry to hear about what you've been through. But I am very glad that you survived. I know at times you might not feel the same way, but please believe that things will get better. The human brain is an incredible organ which is very capable of repairing any damage that occurs, and not only that but of also utilising other parts of the brain to facilitate actions/processes which were previously damaged. It is a phenomenon known as neuroplasticity. I urge you to consider reading the following articles:
http://eap.com.au/FileManager/Mar10_Newsletter/article_3.html
http://memoryzine.com/2010/07/02/introduction-to-neuroplasticity/
..and perhaps doing your own personal research on neuroplasticity, just to give yourself peace of mind. The point is that there is very reasonable hope of you regaining some of the functions that you have lost since the overdose, and this is the very reason why you are getting the physical and speech therapy. Please remain hopeful that you will recover somewhat, and maybe you could also consider getting some kind of regular counselling/psychotherapy to help you cope with the life changes you are going through. Is that an option?

Please feel free to keep us updated with how you're going <3
 
Nine weeks is still very early in the period following anoxia, so don't get discouraged.

I would encourage you to dig a little deeper when it comes to the overdose. If you were taking drugs in that large of
a quantity, then I would venture to guess that you have a serious drug problem. You should focus on that as well.
 
August of 2010 my boyfriend and I were doing heroin together and he overdosed. When he overdosed I didn't realize it and I put him to bed thinking he would sleep it off. I woke up in the morning and tried to wake him but I found him unresponsive. I called an ambulance and they took him to the hospital. He was in ICU and was hooked up to a ventilator so he could breathe. He was anoxic for more than 12 hours, aspirated on his own vomit, had multiple strokes (including on his brainstem) and multiple organ failure. They put him in a medically induced coma while on the ventilator. They told me he would never walk, talk, feed himself or do anything on his own ever again.

Fast forward to a year later. He has made a full recovery for the most part. He walks, talks, goes to the bathroom, feeds himself. After having such a traumatic brain injury, the doctors can not understand how he recovered so well. The doctors are so amazed by his recovery that they conducted a case study on him. Although he didn't get out of it completely unscathed, he has also lost his hearing and is forced to wear hearing aids. The hearing loss you are experiencing might be temporary but understand it can also be permanent.

I haven't touched heroin ever since. Seeing the person you loved hooked up to life support is a huge wake up call. Hopefully this overdose was a wake up call for you. Keep doing your therapy (my boyfriend had to do tons of it) and stay away from the drugs and you should be fine. You would be amazed and how resilient the human brain can be. I'm so sorry you had to go through this but try and stay positive.

Did the doctors say the brain damaged occured in the white or dark matter of your brain? If it was in the white matter you have a significant chance of a full recovery. The brain can re-route itself even after there has been damage.
 
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^ That is amazing! The brain is incredibly plastic, and while it may take some time there is a good chance that you'll be able to recover.

I remember watching a film in one of my psych courses (I think that it was biopsych, one of my faves) where they showed a cranial scan of some sort (an early fMRI iirc) of someone who had hydroencephalus as a child, but was able to get the fluid drained before it was too late. They looked and acted completely normal, but all that was left of their brain was what looked like a little sliver just inside the skull. ALL neurological activity was shunted through this sliver of brain, even though 90% of the mass was destroyed.

The biggest thing is to keep motivated, and keep positive. It is going to take a tonne and a half of work, but you'll get through this.
 
aboout 9 weeks ago I took xanax and percocet, and went into a coma 5 days after my 18th birthday. I woke up eventually(obviously) but I could not walk or talk. I was anoxic for 8 minutes apparently and I have some brain damage. I want to say I'm grateful I didn't die , but I'm not. I've felt depressed and lonely ever since. I'm in a tough position because I am unable to do many things or see my friends. I feel like there is a part of my life that's empty and I feel a loneliness that no person could ever fill. I don't know what to do :(

Just wanted to send some love and light your way. I can't take away what you are feeling, but I can empathize. <3
 
August of 2010 my boyfriend and I were doing heroin together and he overdosed. When he overdosed I didn't realize it and I put him to bed thinking he would sleep it off. I woke up in the morning and tried to wake him but I found him unresponsive. I called an ambulance and they took him to the hospital. He was in ICU and was hooked up to a ventilator so he could breathe. He was anoxic for more than 12 hours, aspirated on his own vomit, had multiple strokes (including on his brainstem) and multiple organ failure. They put him in a medically induced coma while on the ventilator. They told me he would never walk, talk, feed himself or do anything on his own ever again.

Fast forward to a year later. He has made a full recovery for the most part. He walks, talks, goes to the bathroom, feeds himself. After having such a traumatic brain injury, the doctors can not understand how he recovered so well. The doctors are so amazed by his recovery that they conducted a case study on him. Although he didn't get out of it completely unscathed, he has also lost his hearing and is forced to wear hearing aids. The hearing loss you are experiencing might be temporary but understand it can also be permanent.

I haven't touched heroin ever since. Seeing the person you loved hooked up to life support is a huge wake up call. Hopefully this overdose was a wake up call for you. Keep doing your therapy (my boyfriend had to do tons of it) and stay away from the drugs and you should be fine. You would be amazed and how resilient the human brain can be. I'm so sorry you had to go through this but try and stay positive.
This is an amazing story Miss Hollywood, thank you for sharing it with us. I remember when your boyfriend OD'd and I am so happy to hear that he has made such an incredible recovery! <3
 
itaintreggieham, I am sorry to hear about what you've been through. But I am very glad that you survived. I know at times you might not feel the same way, but please believe that things will get better. The human brain is an incredible organ which is very capable of repairing any damage that occurs, and not only that but of also utilising other parts of the brain to facilitate actions/processes which were previously damaged. It is a phenomenon known as neuroplasticity. I urge you to consider reading the following articles:
http://eap.com.au/FileManager/Mar10_Newsletter/article_3.html
http://memoryzine.com/2010/07/02/in...nterests to look forward to instead of drugs.
 
I agree with that. Getting clean is all about remembering how to live, and be at peace with yourself and with sobriety. I think it all really comes down to this.

This is a hectic story. What does the brain damage mean for you, subjectively? Do you feel different?
 
I'm sick of these 'just get stoned' posts. Weed is one of the worst drugs a depressed person could possibly use, to the extent that it's neurotoxic, unlike benzos and opiates. But surely the point is that a person in this position should just avoid drugs altogether.

What sort of brain damage has the OP suffered? And why did he/she take the overdose?

I suppose I see what you're saying. Personally, I remember that weed helped a lot of my friends through their oxy addiction, but I see how it could it differ from person to person. Sorry if I offended anyone or the OP. I would feel bad if I suggested anything harmful to an addict or a recovering addict.
 
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I am Miss Hollywood's boyfriend/fiancee. Indeed, I have made a 95 percent recovery that is difficult to wrap my head around. I would like to thank everyone who gave her support during her darkest hour. I plan on writing a longer post once I get behind my laptop later (on ipod now). I can fully relate to your depression following a TBI. The fear that you may now have limitationa that you didnt have before. The challenges you now face with hearing loss. (I have moderate-severe high frequency hearing loss and tinnitus). As others have mentioned, the plasticity of the human brain is amazing. Most of your healing will occur in the first year. The gauntlet of emotions you are experiencing is perfectly normal.

I wish you all the best...
 
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I am so lucky I never OD'd. I was taking opiates, xanax, adderoll, antivan, meth, coke, K, you name it. It wasn't that I wanted to die, I would just get to a point where I couldn't remember what I took or how much I took. There is a big difference between accidental OD and suicide. One of my best friends was drunk as hell blood alcohol level was 4 times the legal limit by the time I took her to the hospital, because someone gave her some methadone. She had no idea what she was doing. She was basically a drinker, never really did anything other than MDMA. I had no idea how much she had drank or that she took the methadone. Everyone left and she was passed out snoring realling loud, so I just covered her with a blanket and went about my business. A little bit later she wasn't snoring but was breathing, I touched her and she was ice cold.

I was freaking out. The house was full of drugs. I didn't know how many she took, how much she drank. So, finally my bf at the time and a friend helped put her in the car and I drove her to the ER. As soon as they got her out of my car I heard code blue in ER. I freaked out. They interviewed me I told them all the drugs I had because of my medical issues and that there was a girl there with methadone. Toxicology screen came back negative, so ahe had only drank and took the methadone. They told me ther core body temp when I brought her in was like 80-85 degrees which is hypothermic. She was on a ventilator. And I had no idea what was going on.

I had to call her mom, and she thought that she tried to kill herself and I assured her that was not the case. That it was something we had discussed and she said she would never kill herself because she loved her mom too much. The fucked up part is that they blamed it all on me. Which was sorta shitty, cuz I was at work and walked into this party going on. I ended up having to leave because her family no matter what she told them would not let me off the hook.

Well, years later because she never seeked any sort of help after this happened, she is having seizures, what she calls mind freezes (when her mind goes absolutely blank), she has gaps in her memory, extremely depressed, full of anxiety, and has problems sleeping.

So the point of the story is, what happened to you was an accident but see it as gift. To get not only the rehab you need inorder to function ie. walk and talk but to get the emotionally help you need for your depression, loneliness and you probably have alot of anxiety. Take this opportunity to become wise beyond your years, you are only 18 years old. At that age our friends are usually what defines us. Use this time to learn the fabulous world of self acceptance and self love. So, when you are better and you start seeking new people to be in your life you bring positive people and healthy (emotionaly) people in your life. This may sound a bit harsh, but if there was a time to lose your friend this is it, since you have the resources available to you to help you get through it.
 
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