NASADD social v. My moneh big so it's HoL and Skillz and The Rock Monster's birthday

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^ Thanks for remembering me Bishop. But I have already died from an overdose nearly 4 years ago, does that count? I am worried about JC and Baybe though and I have been a bit worried about you man.

I still can't believe Tally died, what exactly happened?
 
I've been thinking a lot about my two overdoses. The first one was when I took 160mg of methadone and some Xanax. I was tolerant to 100mg plus way too much benzos and booze but the 60mg of methadone just did me in, luckily my mom found me the next morning when she went to wake me up for the first day of my senior year in high school because I had overslept.

I've been thinking about after I took 60mg of extra methadone about 3am and was posting on Bluelight. I could tell once the extra dose hit me that I had done too much and I thought I was overdosing. I even made a thread about it, unfortunately it was purged a year or so ago. I've never really told anyone about this, but it was such a horrible feeling as I tried to fight to stay awake. I tried and tried everything I could think of to stay awake. I was too fucked up to do pushups, I knew nothing would keep me awake but I never gave up. I decided to try to eat as much sugary food as possible so I went and got several cupcakes. I was found with the cupcake in my hand, with one bite taken out of it. Bluelighters responded with the typical don't go to sleep and go to the ER in the thread that I made, but I didn't listen to the last part. I woke up and everything was completely dark. I couldn't see whatsoever and my eyes wouldn't open either. I was paralyzed, but felt every needle and tube that was hastefully shoved into my body but my screams were silent and tears were dry. I thought I was dreaming at first, but realized that you can't feel pain in a dream. I heard the nurse talking to me, but I couldn't understand. Then I heard the words "Let's do a CT scan to see if you have brain damage" I came to and the nurse started yelling that I was awake. I will never forget the shame that I felt when my mother looked into my eyes. She didn't know I even did drugs.

I don't know why I felt compelled to post that here, but we Bluelighters often think that won't happen to us, or either reach a point where death seems better than life. I am extremely blessed and I know that Jesus saved my life and I respect those of you that may disagree with me, but I don't want to argue about religion. I had a friend that died from an overdose of cocaine due solely to a particular cut and I have another friend I'm afraid that will die because of drugs. Hopefully someone, somewhere will read this and gain something from it.

If you are living a lifestyle of an active addict, have your life in order, because you never know what can happen to you. For example, I overdosed a second time from 30mg of methadone, benzos, and alcohol in all extremely small amounts. I blacked out and woke up days later with every organ barely working and I tried to talk to my family but the respirator down my throat stopped me from asking if I was dying. They gave me paper and I wrote, "Am I dying?" and they just cried. I fell back asleep and woke up again for good. I had to watch and I felt the pain of a respirator being ripped out of my throat along with the stomach pump that was up both of my nostrils and into my stomach. It was miserable even when compared to feeling a catheter being yanked out of my dick. The physical pain was nothing to the pain that I felt when I looked into my loved ones eyes because they had came from around the U.S. to say their goodbyes to me. A day later, I found out that my best friend had left me for dead and drug me out into the edge of the road and stuffed drugs that were not mine into my pockets.

Stay safe all of you out there, wherever and whoever you are because you never know when you could take your last breath.
 
That's real shit wiggi. Thanks for sayin that. I've lost loved ones to that dangerous combo. Be careful everyone.
 
I've been thinking a lot about my two overdoses. The first one was when I took 160mg of methadone and some Xanax. I was tolerant to 100mg plus way too much benzos and booze but the 60mg of methadone just did me in, luckily my mom found me the next morning when she went to wake me up for the first day of my senior year in high school because I had overslept.

I've been thinking about after I took 60mg of extra methadone about 3am and was posting on Bluelight. I could tell once the extra dose hit me that I had done too much and I thought I was overdosing. I even made a thread about it, unfortunately it was purged a year or so ago. I've never really told anyone about this, but it was such a horrible feeling as I tried to fight to stay awake. I tried and tried everything I could think of to stay awake. I was too fucked up to do pushups, I knew nothing would keep me awake but I never gave up. I decided to try to eat as much sugary food as possible so I went and got several cupcakes. I was found with the cupcake in my hand, with one bite taken out of it. Bluelighters responded with the typical don't go to sleep and go to the ER in the thread that I made, but I didn't listen to the last part. I woke up and everything was completely dark. I couldn't see whatsoever and my eyes wouldn't open either. I was paralyzed, but felt every needle and tube that was hastefully shoved into my body but my screams were silent and tears were dry. I thought I was dreaming at first, but realized that you can't feel pain in a dream. I heard the nurse talking to me, but I couldn't understand. Then I heard the words "Let's do a CT scan to see if you have brain damage" I came to and the nurse started yelling that I was awake. I will never forget the shame that I felt when my mother looked into my eyes. She didn't know I even did drugs.

I don't know why I felt compelled to post that here, but we Bluelighters often think that won't happen to us, or either reach a point where death seems better than life. I am extremely blessed and I know that Jesus saved my life and I respect those of you that may disagree with me, but I don't want to argue about religion. I had a friend that died from an overdose of cocaine due solely to a particular cut and I have another friend I'm afraid that will die because of drugs. Hopefully someone, somewhere will read this and gain something from it.

If you are living a lifestyle of an active addict, have your life in order, because you never know what can happen to you. For example, I overdosed a second time from 30mg of methadone, benzos, and alcohol in all extremely small amounts. I blacked out and woke up days later with every organ barely working and I tried to talk to my family but the respirator down my throat stopped me from asking if I was dying. They gave me paper and I wrote, "Am I dying?" and they just cried. I fell back asleep and woke up again for good. I had to watch and I felt the pain of a respirator being ripped out of my throat along with the stomach pump that was up both of my nostrils and into my stomach. It was miserable even when compared to feeling a catheter being yanked out of my dick. The physical pain was nothing to the pain that I felt when I looked into my loved ones eyes because they had came from around the U.S. to say their goodbyes to me. A day later, I found out that my best friend had left me for dead and drug me out into the edge of the road and stuffed drugs that were not mine into my pockets.

Stay safe all of you out there, wherever and whoever you are because you never know when you could take your last breath.

Awww...wiggi. thanks for sharing that here-and here is a pre-fuck off to anyone who needs to post otherwise... ;)
seriously though, i have been through some shit but i've never been left for dead by my friend,man. That is why I hope you know that won't happen to you here <3...I know that doesn't help but I was not just sad for what I was reading,I was proud and glad that you are still around to to share those things with us. you never know who you will impact! I most admire your bravery to be so open and honest-it is something i am struggling with in my own life.

Hoping that this finds you well,I am glad you are still around!
much peace and love........................................skillz<3
 
I've OD'd twice, stupid choices I knew would do it, too.

Once was 180mg oxymorphone intra-nasally, then 70mg JWH-018 oral, and 105mg valium. Second OD was smoked fent, that one I could barely feel coming, just hit. The first one I at least had the time to tell my roomie I felt like I was about to OD.

Made it through both without much drama or anyone IRL knowing beyond my 3 housemates. I quit oppies after the smoked fent OD. I don't like to talk about either OD as I know I scrapped death just from the pictures I saw the following days of myself, so I know how fucked up it is putting it down on paper (or a forum, in this case). Props.

TBH I was pretty sure I was on my way out, but I wound up quitting. Assuming these RCs don't get me, I think I'm doing alright now.

Careful all, <3 you guys and gals too much
 
what a fucking depressing day.

i remember OD'ing on somas. so weird to be in and out of consciousness and so totally incapable of movement.

deaths, inevitable deaths.. goddamn man

<3 you fucks


alcohol poisoning take me away
 
what a fucking depressing day.

i remember OD'ing on somas. so weird to be in and out of consciousness and so totally incapable of movement.

deaths, inevitable deaths.. goddamn man

<3 you fucks


alcohol poisoning take me away

I'm with what Jb said earlier,hooker.
sorry about your grandpa...but don't even play like that,bc I love your crazy fuck-nuts,ass..lol

@chaimer please be careful w/ RCs-i just know some people who got way fucked up-no judgement,just glad you're aware,want you to know i love your guts-i haven't talked to you in ages-i am learning to be a fucking productive Mod so i can get back to dicking around in here with these lovable lunatics. glad you've been posting so i can say HIGH!!! been trying to make it to CD,I've just got lots goin on-but i will,soon,resume my happy 4:20 AM only-post w/ song like i used to. i am just working out my new ebb and flow in Bl.

i love you guys....................skillz <3 <3 <3
 
I agree with jb, none of you fuckers better even think about dying, the world is much better off with you in it than without you in it. <3 <3 <3 Too much death lately, too much everything lately.

I need some sleep.....doesn't seem like it will happen any time soon. Anyone wanna trade brains? Mine is far too cluttered for my own good. If there were a hoarding show for thoughts (as opposed to houses and beyond full of garbage), I would totally be on it LOL
 
also, my butthole is in serious pain right now.


NSFW:
the-more-you-know1.jpg
 
I've been thinking a lot about my two overdoses. The first one was when I took 160mg of methadone and some Xanax. I was tolerant to 100mg plus way too much benzos and booze but the 60mg of methadone just did me in, luckily my mom found me the next morning when she went to wake me up for the first day of my senior year in high school because I had overslept.

I've been thinking about after I took 60mg of extra methadone about 3am and was posting on Bluelight. I could tell once the extra dose hit me that I had done too much and I thought I was overdosing. I even made a thread about it, unfortunately it was purged a year or so ago. I've never really told anyone about this, but it was such a horrible feeling as I tried to fight to stay awake. I tried and tried everything I could think of to stay awake. I was too fucked up to do pushups, I knew nothing would keep me awake but I never gave up. I decided to try to eat as much sugary food as possible so I went and got several cupcakes. I was found with the cupcake in my hand, with one bite taken out of it. Bluelighters responded with the typical don't go to sleep and go to the ER in the thread that I made, but I didn't listen to the last part. I woke up and everything was completely dark. I couldn't see whatsoever and my eyes wouldn't open either. I was paralyzed, but felt every needle and tube that was hastefully shoved into my body but my screams were silent and tears were dry. I thought I was dreaming at first, but realized that you can't feel pain in a dream. I heard the nurse talking to me, but I couldn't understand. Then I heard the words "Let's do a CT scan to see if you have brain damage" I came to and the nurse started yelling that I was awake. I will never forget the shame that I felt when my mother looked into my eyes. She didn't know I even did drugs.

I don't know why I felt compelled to post that here, but we Bluelighters often think that won't happen to us, or either reach a point where death seems better than life. I am extremely blessed and I know that Jesus saved my life and I respect those of you that may disagree with me, but I don't want to argue about religion. I had a friend that died from an overdose of cocaine due solely to a particular cut and I have another friend I'm afraid that will die because of drugs. Hopefully someone, somewhere will read this and gain something from it.

If you are living a lifestyle of an active addict, have your life in order, because you never know what can happen to you. For example, I overdosed a second time from 30mg of methadone, benzos, and alcohol in all extremely small amounts. I blacked out and woke up days later with every organ barely working and I tried to talk to my family but the respirator down my throat stopped me from asking if I was dying. They gave me paper and I wrote, "Am I dying?" and they just cried. I fell back asleep and woke up again for good. I had to watch and I felt the pain of a respirator being ripped out of my throat along with the stomach pump that was up both of my nostrils and into my stomach. It was miserable even when compared to feeling a catheter being yanked out of my dick. The physical pain was nothing to the pain that I felt when I looked into my loved ones eyes because they had came from around the U.S. to say their goodbyes to me. A day later, I found out that my best friend had left me for dead and drug me out into the edge of the road and stuffed drugs that were not mine into my pockets.

Stay safe all of you out there, wherever and whoever you are because you never know when you could take your last breath.

*eyes waterin up*

glad you're still hear man

<3 you fucks


alcohol poisoning take me away

dont even joke
I'm never gonna die



Gonna live forever shooting d's and talking shit

hope so

no worries, lady <3

that was just my way of saying i planned on getting drunk as fuck last night

good

also, my butthole is in serious pain right now.

i wish it was because of butt sex. :(

vigorous anal masterbation?
 
Shit got real in here. Damn, don't wanna talk about you guys dying. You all should just become invincible like me, it's pretty great.

Just got my internet connection back this afternoon. Had no power for a few days (most of my friends still don't, I just live near an emergency healthcare center so they prioritized), still don't have power at work. Irene definitely butt raped Connecticut.


Ohline, you wiped too hard.
 
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