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Help with MDMA bad anxiety trip.

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boxtrotter

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Aug 29, 2011
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9
This is gonna sound weird, but i have to ask just in case anyone can relate, experienced something similar, or the same thing, or knows some one that has, or knows anything about it.

i've been rolling for the past few years, i space it out pretty well, first time i rolled october, then i rolled again about 2 months later, rolled 3 months later, rolled 7 months later, 2 months later, took a break 1.5 years or so, didn't roll for 5 months. etc. so you can get that i've taken breaks here and there.

all times have been mdma except for once, which was e, but all times have been great times with no trips, including the e, except for the last two times i rolled, which was molly (like all other times but the one time with E).
now this is gonna start sounding weird maybe slightly disturbing but i really need help on this and can't find it online.

basically i start rolling, and i'm having a great time and stuff, and then for some reason i start to bad trip, and the trip is that i think i've s**t myself. this has happened on the last two times that i've been rolling. like i seriously start to trip that i've s**t my pants, i'll ask my friends that i'm with if they notice anything, smells, or anyone looking, and they always tell me i'm just tripping. i only roll with people i'm comfortable around so i don't mind telling them i'm tripping about something like that.
i've concluded that every time it happens, it's just sweat. like when it happens i'll go to the toilet just to make sure, last thing i want is to be going nuts and have sh** myself. and like i said every time it turns out that i've just been sweating. but the trip goes on even though i know it's happened before, and that i'm tripping, and even after i've made sure i haven't s**t my self, and my friends tell me i'm just tripping that i don't smell and no ones showing any sign that i've done anything, i still trip. and when i mean trip like i actually feel like my thigh is wet or like i'm s**ting my self, and i'll check by touching my thigh where i feel like it's wet but as soon as i touch it it feels completely dry.

like i said, i've concluded that it has to just be sweat, that my friends all reassure me that it's all in my head and that it's a bad trip, so i'm figuring it has to be anxiety related, maybe possibly starting off of overheating? the first time it happened it was quite warm weather and i'd been going all day, and the second time i'd been rolling from like 2pm-11pm, and it'd been kinda chilly/rainy so i was wearing a hoodie and a vest on top of a tshirt, the anxiet/trip kicked in between 830pm-930pm right around the time when i was going really hard.

i just really want some help trying to maybe understand this just to break the effects of it, cuz i always space out my rolls, and i do enjoy it, i'll only go with people i'm comfortable with and trust, and the thing is i ask my friends and they say nothing is up, but i'll still feel like i've actually s**t my self, even though they assure me i don't smell, or have any wet patches on shorts, or anything. and like i said, i'll go to the bathroom to make sure, and there's never been anything, no sign, no skids, nothing at all. so it has to be just sweat. but what would set that on, what tips could i do when i'm not rolling to ensure that doesn't happen, etc, or what could i do when rolling to block out the thought and just enjoy my self. even when my friends tell me there's nothing i just still trip out and think maybe they haven't noticed it or something, and i'll keep asking, which is really lame cuz they say it's totally fine but i'm sure i must be killing their buzz which really isn't cool.

guys i apologize for this being long, and apologize for the ill nature of text, but it's a genuine trip, keep in mind nothing ever happens and that it's just a bad trip, which is why i'm asking here.
so if anyone has any "useful" advice or anything i'd really appreciate it. (keep in mind this has only happened the last two times out of a total of 12 times rolling.)
 
The only way i can relate, is sometimes when i do k,
I end up farting lots,
But last time i was out in a field like area, and i was pretty gone and i farted but i actually pulled my trousers down because i thought and it felt like i was shitting (like id ate some off date food Lol) But it turns out i just farted. haha

You could always wear a nappy while rolling then be worry free !!!
Just an idea , if your paranoia wont go away
 
Lol, yea i can imagine how farting may make you feel like that.
my issue is that it doesn't feel like a fart, i think what happens is the sweat from raving dampens my boxers and when i start to stop sweating or when something changes i start to notice the feeling of damp boxers and my mind goes into freak mode and i start tripping. something like that. there isn't anything i actually do like farting that sets it off.

the nappy would be a good idea, but i don't wanna be waddling around in a nappy tbh, especially if i end up in a chix room or tent lol. i don't think the phrase "bad ass" would come to mind whilst unstrapping my nappy lol.

it has to all be psychological aided with the physical side of me sweating, i need to try and over come that trip :/
 
severely etarded said:
I've seen this on LSD before...
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can you elaborate a bit on that? when you say you've seen it, do you mean the exact same thing i've described? do you know the person it happened to, if they overcame it, or anything?

i read somewhere about a similar thing happeneing to a guy on shrooms, and thought that i could just be a similar anxiety thing. like i over heat, i trip that i've s**t my self, i start getting more anxious, start sweating more and more, and just continue the cycle.
 
severely etarded said:
I know the person it happened too. I had to tell em they were just tripping. I was tripping too though lol
Click to expand...

lol, i suppose it could be a similar thing. were they fine after that one confirmation that nothing happened? persistent at all, any advice you can give me to just not trip about it? cuz unless i'm s**ting clear instantly evapourating stuff, it has to be sweat, lol.
 
boxtrotter said:
lol, i suppose it could be a similar thing. were they fine after that one confirmation that nothing happened? persistent at all, any advice you can give me to just not trip about it? cuz unless i'm s**ting clear instantly evapourating stuff, it has to be sweat, lol.
Click to expand...
Ya he was like "OMG, are you sure?! OMG I really thought I shit myself, wtf" lol. IDK highly unlikely you would shit yourself without knowing on MDMA. Usually if you have to go, you will know and you go to a toilet... Hmm.. IDK. strange one.
 
severely etarded said:
Ya he was like "OMG, are you sure?! OMG I really thought I shit myself, wtf" lol. IDK highly unlikely you would shit yourself without knowing on MDMA. Usually if you have to go, you will know and you go to a toilet... Hmm.. IDK. strange one.
Click to expand...

the real trip for me is not that i've S**T my self, is that i don't know i have or i don't know i'm in the process of it. i have no idea what it's like to s**t ones self, i haven't since being in KG or around that time, so i've no idea what to expect of it, a friend recommended to actually s**t my self while sober so i could tell the difference but i couldn't bring my self to do it lol. i read somewhere that mdma actually tightens up the sphincter, so yea i donno. but also like i said, i figured it must be sweat, but the feeling of my skin on damp boxers, or the cold air coming in, just feels like such a foreign feeling at the time that it starts this terrible loop of bad trips.

lol, know this is really a strange one, kinda nasty, but it's a trip that i really have to get over.
 
MDMA doesn't provide an enjoyable experience every time. It can magnify your mental state or make you feel certain things more than you would have otherwise. I used a lot of MDMA and I've had some nasty experiences that were pretty close to the level of a bad shroom or LSD trip. It wasn't bad or something that I regret having, but it sure as hell wasn't pleasant.

So I don't know what exactly is the cause or explanation of your particular trip. Either you shit yourself or you didn't. Doesn't really matter in the end. But you seem to have enough evidence to indicate that it didn't actually happen.
 
Legerity said:
Either you shit yourself or you didn't. Doesn't really matter in the end. But you seem to have enough evidence to indicate that it didn't actually happen.
Click to expand...

that's just it bro, i mean all evidence keeps pointing towards that it isn't s**t, but the trip just makes me constantly feel like something's sliding down my lower body. gross i know, just bear in mind nothing is actually sliding down my body, and when i touch my leg there's not even a sweat mark, or a glossy damp looking streak from the sweat. it won't even feel wet on my skin once i touch it.

but despite all of that, the feeling recurs and just loops. even though i'm being reassured by people i really trust as well as my self, i just think that "this time" it's actually happening, but never anything. i need to try and block it from happening, it happened the last two times i rolled, with the last time i rolled (2nd time tripping) being quite worse. i'm worried that maybe the next time i roll it'll be even worse if i don't take diligent preparations in controlling my state of mind.
 
It could just be making more obvious some self-consciousness that is always there. The shit thing itself seems kind of irrelevant; self-consciousness can manifest in any way. I would imagine if you keep rolling eventually you'll be able to work through it, but depending on you it may not be worth the energy to do so if that always makes your roll difficult.
 
Legerity said:
It could just be making more obvious some self-consciousness that is always there. The shit thing itself seems kind of irrelevant; self-consciousness can manifest in any way. I would imagine if you keep rolling eventually you'll be able to work through it, but depending on you it may not be worth the energy to do so if that always makes your roll difficult.
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that's what i'm actually hoping for, that as i roll more, now that i've encountered this issue, that i'll be able to handle it better.
like the first time it happened was a total shocker and i didn't say anything to anyone till we were leaving, but the second time i was with the same people so i brought it up and they said i was tripping again, but of course cuz i was rolling so hard i think i couldn't see past the fact that it was all in my head. the next day it made me bummed out cuz i realised i was being constantly reassured that it was nothing, but i didn't acknowledge it. so i'm hoping maybe next time i'll be able to think back to it and say "last time i was sure it was happening "that" time, but it didn't, so "this" time is probably the same."

i'm just hoping someone comes along with a similar situation and has been able to remedy it :)
 
I think you'd know if you shat yourself.

Once these things get in your head it can be hard to get rid of them. One reason I stopped smoking weed was because I started to think about my fingertips being cut with a very sharp knife. I think I'd done this one day for real and then smoked and it just got in and my brain made the link. And then when i got really stoned, this thought and images would always come to mind and it was unpleasant enough to put me off. I don't really smoke anymore but if I do, this no longer happens because of the time gap - ie the link has faded. Maybe you need to give it a rest so you're not working that link and strengthening it but rather letting it fade.

Or maybe wear nothing but a pair of chaps? Then you'll be able to check without much effort at all. However this may have undesirable effects if you're in a gay club.
 
Andronicus said:
I think you'd know if you shat yourself.

Once these things get in your head it can be hard to get rid of them. One reason I stopped smoking weed was because I started to think about my fingertips being cut with a very sharp knife. I think I'd done this one day for real and then smoked and it just got in and my brain made the link. And then when i got really stoned, this thought and images would always come to mind and it was unpleasant enough to put me off. I don't really smoke anymore but if I do, this no longer happens because of the time gap - ie the link has faded. Maybe you need to give it a rest so you're not working that link and strengthening it but rather letting it fade.

Or maybe wear nothing but a pair of chaps? Then you'll be able to check without much effort at all. However this may have undesirable effects if you're in a gay club.
Click to expand...

yea, i'm not sure what sets it off really, but i'm gonna stop smoking weed for the time being. i would on roll on special occasions but i'd regularly smoke. so i'm thinking of just stopping everything, and not smoking when i roll from now on tbh. hopefully it'll just die down.
 
i was gonna say if you did shit yourself, cut with laxatives? but seeing as you didnt. Just tripppiinnn :D
 
can you clarify when you read about the shrooms, because that could be the point of when it manifested in your mind? (bearing in mind that what we take affects our mind)
boxtrotter said:
can you elaborate a bit on that? when you say you've seen it, do you mean the exact same thing i've described? do you know the person it happened to, if they overcame it, or anything?

i read somewhere about a similar thing happeneing to a guy on shrooms, and thought that i could just be a similar anxiety thing. like i over heat, i trip that i've s**t my self, i start getting more anxious, start sweating more and more, and just continue the cycle.
Click to expand...
 
I've had similar experiences after smoking some quality herb, I can't remember if it's happened while rolling but I'm sure the thought has crossed my mind.

On various occasions I could have sworn I'd pee'd myself. My penis would feel a bit strange (nothing bad, just an unfamiliar feeling) and my jeans would even look a bit darker in the crotch area. I couldn't tell if that spot was any warmer than the rest of my jeans. One time I was freaking out, I was with a couple of friends (one of whom I really trusted) and I had to keep stopping to check my boxers for stains. My good friend noticed something was up and after explaining it to him he reassured me I was fine. I still made sure a few more times on that occasion after finally ignoring it. Now I usually check once (if at all) just to ease my mind.

As for sh**ting myself, I just come to terms with the fact that my ass is sweaty. It's usually not as worrying for me since logically if one had crapped themselves it would smell (so strongly that even one would notice), others would back away in disgust, you'd feel lumps/goo of nastiness in your pants (like a physical, solid substance), and your friends would probably notice and say something. If you need to check just once to ease your mind, I would actually recommend it, but chances are it's just sweat (unless you have bladder problems or a case of diarrhea in which case it would be a better idea to stay at home). Just convince yourself it's sweat because if it weren't people would say something and it would be too late by then anyways.

I've read about people with the same issue on moderate to high doses of various hallucinogenics so you're not alone. It's all in your head, don't let it ruin your fun.
 
I would consider testing your drugs. Most of the time when your do something like 12 times over a number of years and something is suddenly very different, its because you took something different.... MDMA tends to not induce inward anxious psychological spirals in the majority of users, consider baby powder if it does turn out to be the drugs.

Keep in mind though, our minds are powerful, they make this world as real as it is for us, if you believe something will happen it tends to be the case.
 
Splinters Thoughts, With MasterSplinter

When eatin sum good beanss...

Its safe to assume that you have shit yourself many times in the past even when your not high on MDMA? Be honest... :\

I suppose its nothing to be ashamed of, but clearly you seem to have a phobia of it so MDMA is causing enhanced stimulation of the subject matter.

If you are not overweight, wear a skirt, bathing suit or your underwear. If your a dude just wear shorts. It will alleviate the illusion that you took a dump in your pants and help you relax.

Smell you later!
 
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