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Im hitting major lows :(

T

toomuchpain

Bluelighter
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
367
this is not a cry for help, ive been way past that long time ago, but im bipolar and the last 3 or 4 days, cant even remember now, but i started having really low episodes, since its happened, im very irritable, and what makes it worse is that my own family who knows better is acting like assholes towards me, even today when i tried to make an attempt to talk, that didnt work and just made me more pissed off, i havent eaten in those 3 or 4 days, ive had very little to drink, maybe a full glass of water within that time and feeling very suicidal, how long can this last? i dont know if im strong enough to last thru this, ive been having thoughts of just walking out and leaving everything behind and whatever happens will happen, i also thought about buying ambien online and drinking and pop all of them...just tell me the end of this shit is near cause i havent felt this bad since i attempted suicide about 5 years ago
 
Severe depressive episodes are awful - and I feel for you - I deal w em n some bizarre manic episodes that leave me in a whole diff world.

Has anything really set you off you can think of ? Any change in meds ? Any change in your daily routine ? Sometimes the best thing when I am that low is just lock the safe n lie down ... it does pass ... it DOES ... fucking suck.

What kinda help you gettin for your bipolar ?
 
You gotta eat and drink.
Its your life , cherish it! i know its hard to say with the way things are for you at the moment.

Yeah what kind of medication are you on for your Bipolar?

I hope you get your appetite back again ,
Have you considered ketamine for your bipolar? I only reccomend it as i went from thinking of suicidal thoughts for nearly 7 years almost every day,
To not thinking of them in weeks since i started to self treat.
 
OverDone said:
perhaps but, just like weed, it could be harmful to others.
Click to expand...

they shold really start payin you bro lol .

but I honestly disagree, ketamine has no negative sides - even if u hole out / bug out - you learn from it. I've had ego death trips that rocked my world , i was convinced i was dying and a lot of other confusing shit lol - as I came outta it I felt better than ever. Unless you are allergic from ketamine i cannot see anything negative w using it - as far as the depression , read the link. It's not for everyone but the majority it IS. this is science bro js facts. Not my tripface opinion lol.
 
There's been some interesting research with respect to ketamine as a therapeutic medication for depression, but IMHO it's still pretty early days. Self-medication can be a dangerous slope to try to ride as well; I've had it go horribly wrong for myself, and have seen it happen to many others. Ymmv of course.

I've got to echo what darksidedadam said: eat food and drink water. Even if you have to force it down. A proper meal and getting re-hydrated can help bring you a bit out of your spiral by at least getting your physiology back on track. Try to keep in mind that nobody can really tell how you feel, and that they likely are not intending to be jerks. You may very well be projecting your state onto them, which then makes things worse for you.

Good luck, and remember that we're all here to help however we can. Keep us posted.

:)
 
theartofwar said:
they shold really start payin you bro lol .

but I honestly disagree, ketamine has no negative sides - even if u hole out / bug out - you learn from it. I've had ego death trips that rocked my world , i was convinced i was dying and a lot of other confusing shit lol - as I came outta it I felt better than ever. Unless you are allergic from ketamine i cannot see anything negative w using it - as far as the depression , read the link. It's not for everyone but the majority it IS. this is science bro js facts. Not my tripface opinion lol.
Click to expand...

ketamine does have negative sides. i have personally been addicted to it and seen many others struggle through addiction. the stuff completely destroys the bladder and stomach.
 
didnt kno it did harm to the bladder / stomach - bein addicted to it ya , i mean that applies to any substance i've had a few k addict friends also. Look it's jus my view on the stuff and what i've read not tryin to jack this ddes thread just tryin to say that was the LAST thing i tried that worked. Before that , fuck nothin did and life was a nightmare.
 
If you have an addicitve personality, then its maybe not a good idea for depression,
But low doses every 5 - 7 days arent going to do damage to your bladder/ kidneys are they?

But i also use it recreationally.

Its been listed before, that ketamine is best used to treat certain types of it, ie when you have no mood stability, ketamine is able to keep you in one stable mood. For example its been bad weather and very gloomy outside, for 2 days in a row. Before ketamine i would take it bad, and it would make me depressed today,i thrive on sunlight. However i dont give 2 fucks that its dark out there today, im fine lol.

Being a recreational user of ketamine at the same time, you can get negatives from it. When people spiral out of control with it from addiction, they end up having schizophrenic episodes, and that is definately not what you want.
But if

A. You can honestly trust your self not to become addicted
Or
B. You can have someone hide the substance for you and only get it out when its dose day

Then i think it can be used that way.

On average i go through a gram of it a month, But i use it at raves too, i love a good ol dance and shuffle as a wonky donky on the dancefloor! Lol. I think it does destroy peoples appetites too though, however i can eat after doing a small amount, but my stomach is a tank. Lol
 
There are other solutions than to use a substance to better a situation where the OP is extremely suicidal.

As other suggested, EAT dude. You are running on zero fuel for your body. Have something, a banana... milk, those can help kick start your metabolism again and are easy on the stomach. Go from there, see how you feel. Next step, do you have a therapist? Can you see someone neutral to talk about what is going on atm?
 
Ketamine also causes lesions in the brain. It's a nasty drug, in its street form especially, and should be avoided at all costs, especially by someone like you.

Do not even attempt to buy Ambien online - it's a restricted drug in all Western countries and there's just no way that you'll get any. You'll get some bullshit made by an Indian chemist from rat turds.

Eat, exercise, see a therapist. You've gotta help yourself.
 
OK, DON'T pop all the Ambien, that would be a really nasty death. I was misdiagnosed as bipolar this past year, so I kinda get it. They had me on Abilify, Cogentin, Prozac, and Klonopin. Of course, everyone is different. I have depression and get really really slow and low and I honestly don't think Prozac works. I end up pushing thru it, so what if I sleep too much or watch to much TV? My folks don't like it, but I can't do anything else when like that. I just ride it out. The benzos (klonopin) help in reducing anxiety. (Tho might make others feel even more down, I never had that happen.) TRY to eat and drink... I find that reading something light helps me. Getting away from people who pressure me helps. I know how hard it can be but it'll pass, really.

Also, eventually yes try to see a therapist, but I know when it's like this, talking to a therapist is like the last time you'd want to do. I have to go to group therapy and it doesn't help when things are really bad, only when you are between the bad times. Wish I had a better answer for you...
 
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