anything i can do to help younger brother who finally agrees he 'wants' to quit

[alexthealien]

if he hasn't gotten high he is the most meanest, grumpiest, person to be around. i've even heard him cry a couple times....coming off opiates, (tar heroin) what is the anxiety like? what are you anxious for? like are u afraid people are after you? unless you owe them money you don't have, or do have but need your fix...in my brothers case he owed/jacked someone and ended up getting our house and car shot a couple times. can you describe the depression? i'm curious what i can do to help my brother, what kinda things depress a user, i know the endorphins aren't produced like they should be, or they are but not as high as they were when they were getting high...whichever, so i know that can account for mood...but my bro started with oxy then went to black tar....he's 18 or 19 now and dropped outta high school last year. he finally realizes and is and trying to get clean. rehabs didn't work, he'd get kicked out, get high there, walk out, etc....so finally my parents are taking him out of town for 1.5 weeks a piece and trying to get him sober enough to think with a straight mind....so far after 1.5 weeks he's passed his dip tests from my parents and now they took a road trip to cali so he isn't around anyone he knows and that'll be about 3 weeks of being sober...i know there are drugs in cali but my parents are making sure he has no cash and is with them most the time. last test he took for us he failed for cocaine (crack) meth, opiates, and something he was rx'd, a barbituate..i think he just needs to be high, and with a big opiate tolerance he prolly had a few bucks and meth would get him high...heroin is his DOC although he always bought white with his black, but i don't think white is much of a problem. anyways he seems to be doing better than he has in the passed 2 years, even though he's only been clean 1.5 weeks and most likely will be clean for a total of 3 weeks....he wasn't allowed in our house unless he could pass a drug test, which was once, but i found some synthetic urine so i'm sure he faked it. we kept him in our house as long as we could but with his temper and all the stuff he'd steal....we had to say good bye...most the time i think he had junkie friends to stay with but there were times where he'd called and say he has nowhere to go...so we'd let him sleep on our porch. he's got several criminal charges, 1 felony i believe, or maybe it was dropped. but i'm looking for advice if there is anything i can do, i know first he wants to quit...and my parents pushing him into rehabs was a waste of money because he needed to be ready. imo he needed to ask for them...like hit the bottom and realize he's tired of looking for a place to sleep, tired of being a slob, tired of the whole street lifestyle. i've tried every drug years ago, along with selling drugs, mainly weed when i used to not have a job that did random UA's. i was later caught with a big amount of weed and i told myself after one time of getting caught i'm done selling. it was just a teenager/college thing that all started from just wanting to smoke for free, but i became quite successful lol. so after that i was pretty much done smoking, lol @ people who pay $20+ a gram of weed....on a rare occasion i'll do a legal RC...but not very often..so i know how good all these drugs were and used them in moderation and never had a problem. like for instance i'd use mdma once every couple months, and i might use some heroin or benzos for the comedown..but i knew the addiction potential and i dont think he ever saw himself as addicted. finally he admitted he had a problem. anyways ignore my crappy grammar i'm actually on some mdpv (given to me from a friend) and i just felt like rambling, comedown is near but i didn't overdo it so it won't be too bad.

just curious on way to help, if there is anything i can do...i know it's him that wants to quit..but the hard part i imagine all his current friends are junkies, therefore if he's not he won't have many friends...i'm sure others have been in his situation or had someone close effected by drugs (in b4 coke, weed, etc)...those are not nearly as hard to come off of as opiates, or even benzos which those withdrawls can actually kill you if they're bad enough. again looking for tips, suggestions, comments...thanks

 

[suessmayr]

Firstly I find it touching and awesome that you're concerned enough to write this post.

The anxiety and depression that accompany opiate withdrawal often don't seem to have any real objects. They're not of anything in particular - they're neurochemical, and they result from the brain literally not having enough endorphins/serotonin to maintain itself. You wouldn't ask someone after surgery why they're in pain - they just are. They are incapable of not being in pain because of the state of their body. That is how it is with opiate withdrawal - the person is physiologically bound to feel the depression and anxiety, and there is no choice or cognition involved.

It sounds like you have a supportive family and that is probably the biggest thing right there, or at least the next biggest after the fact that your brother seems to have decided to get clean. If he has decided that this is what he wants, he will probably be able to achieve it no matter what his situation is. Drug addicts are often able to apply the same determination to getting clean as they previously applied to getting high.

So I think the most important thing is to just never forget that what you're brother is attempting is one of the most difficult things any human can ever attempt. The physical and psychological anguish are almost unfathomable for a person who hasn't been there personally. You said you've used weed and ecstasy - and heroin occasionally - but in my view a person just cannot understand opiate withdrawal unless they've had a habit themselves. So even though you have some experience with drugs, I think you should not assume that you 'get' what your bro is doing - but it seems you're not making this assumption, or you wouldn't be posting on here!

Have no expectations of him (apart from that he won't relapse), and just be available without necessarily being present. During withdrawal the smallest things become impossible and painful - making a meal, getting dressed, going to the toilet. This isn't weakness, it is literally as difficult for the person in withdrawal to do these things as it is for a healthy person to exercise strenuously or perform mentally exhausting tasks.

Oh, and you should never tire of telling your bro how incredible it is that he's trying to get clean, not only because it really is incredible, but also because it will probably make it harder for him to relapse if he feels like people are 'in it with him' and 'rooting for him'.

 

[cj]

I dont have a ton of time right now but I just wanted to make you aware that relapse is a part of addiction very few people get clean the first time they try. So try not to be angry if he relapses im not saying you should enable him if he does its kind of a fine line IMO.

 

[alexthealien]

thanks for input...he supposed to take a drug test today after being home a week. we'll see how it goes. he hasn't had many mood swings like he used...either he's always high..or he's used it a couple times only...or hes been clean

 

[alexthealien]

any suggestions on medication like an ssri type drug for an addict trying to quit

 

[sweetnicci07]

It is so awesome to hear about a family member that is truly concerned about his addicted relative. It is pure Hell going through withdrawals and he will need all the support he can get.

I agree with the poster who said it is hard to even go to the bathroom, etc...when you are in w/d from opiates. You can't sleep, eat or take a shower without putting about 100x the effort into it than you usually did.

Please just be there for him NO MATTER WHAT!!! You are doing the right thing by reaching out to others trying to find out what exactly you should do. I really hope that your bro passes the drug test but if he doesn't, PLEASE don't make him feel like shit b/c of it. If he is really trying to quit he will feel bad enough, trust me.

 

[OverDone]

any suggestions on medication like an ssri type drug for an addict trying to quit

medication should only be used as prescribed by a medical professional. SSRI's are no joke and aren't really used for withdrawal or cessation of cravings

 

[suessmayr]

No, but it could be extremely helpful to get on an anti-depressant during withdrawal to help mitigate the depression and anxiety. Of course they don't do anything for the fundamental physical aspects of the withdrawal though.

Either way I agree that it's highly risky to take anti-depressants unless they're being prescribed by a doctor, and ideally, a psychiatrist. They often make symptoms worse before they begin to remedy them, and you need a professional who knows what to look for and what to do if things get bad.

 

[Svieri]

Be there for him. The cleaning process, it's progression. It has stages, and it goes slow until one manages to achieve it. Everyone progress at different rates, try be comprehensive, but firm. A fine line, like suessmayr said.