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Little brother just got put in rehab/mental health program for drugs...help..

Y

yo0123yo

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
506
Location
Malibu, California
So i am 23, my brother is 17 years old and for about a year now he has had a problem with both benzos and opiates..his favorite is opiates and takes them to the point where he nods in and out of consciousness by the end of the night and literally is fighting to stay awake and just wont sleep....so on saturday my parents called the local police department on him and asked for advice on what to do and the officers told them they had the choice of sending him to the emergency room and from there, since he's still a minor he can be sent to a rehab/mental evaluation hospital without him having any say in it so my parents decided to do that because he has been causing these drug problems for too long for my parents to handle..too much stress on their end...my worry is that he has never been away from home for this long and i know that it must suck for him to have to deal with it but tomorrow is going to be my first visit with him and i am extremely worried for him..i dont even know when hes getting out..they keep saying "after this and after that evaluation" and after he detoxifies..i am very hurt because i am not used to him being out of the house for this long and i know he is very uncomfortable not being at home which makes me very very sad and i feel very bad for him...any tips to help me get through this are greatly appreciated and anything i can say to him when i visit him tomorrow is greatly appreciated as well..thanks guys
 
hey yo... first things first, you seem to have priorities in order. Keep in mind that your brother is under professional care so you needn't worry excessively. These people handle cases like his day in and day out. They have him covered.

That being said, his level of discomfort depends on how bad his habit is. Psychological cravings and obsessive thoughts of using is pretty much guaranteed. If he has a physical dependence on benzos, opiates or both then he's going to suffer some physical withdrawal. If he was admitted on Saturday and he's allowed visitors on Tuesday then he most likely didn't have much of a physical withdrawal (which is good!). Most facilities won't allow visitors so early in the treatment stage.

If he is admitted long term in the facility, he will adapt (we tend to adjust to our environments quickly)

I can't tell you what to tell him. Just be his brother, man <3 He will probably be a bit irritable and wanting to leave treatment. You may want to help him with his perspective regarding that
 
i definitely will...that response gives a sense of relief..only thing thats killing me inside is i dont know how long he will be there for as no one has given me an exact answer yet and thats real discomforting
 
yeah, they really can't give a definite answer on time frames so early on. Every facility I went to I was there for 14 days followed by Intensive Outpatient (IOP). Flashing back in my head, I am reminded that not knowing the length of my stay was a problem for me because, like you, I just NEED to know stuff so I can organize my brain to accommodate, prepare and plan.

Hopefully it goes smoothly but, the down side is that he was admitted against his will. Statistically speaking, when folks are forced into treatment, they tend to not get/stay clean. I hope this isn't the case with your brother :(
 
the reason he has been into pills for this long i am guessing is because he saw me start doing it more than a year ago so i do blame myself for part of the problem but i never was as bad as he is...i know that when i start "nodding" off of oxy that it is time to go to sleep and not to stay awake and try and fight sleep..the thing that kind of made it even more ridiculous is that me and him are extremely close together and this weekend i went and got three legitimate prescriptions in my name...i got 90 2mg alprazolam bars, 60 30mg roxicodone, and i got 120 10/325 norcos from tis doctor who my friends go to who say he will prescribe really anything you ask him about...so me andmy brother are in myy basement downstairs having fun all the sudden i realize my 3 prescription bottles are missing!! i start a manhunt in my basement, the obvious last place i was, then i find in his back pocket the stickers to all of my prescriptions that the pharmacy attaches to all the bottles... and im like 8o:! so then he admits to me he did take the and he admits its because he was fiending for some of them and because they were free instead of paying some outrageous price on the street to get them...so when i see him tomorrow i dont plan on mentioning the situation at all its just the fact that he actually stole my three prescription bottles that really hurt me that he would do something like that but i believe he feels regret now and its done and over with, i love my brother to death and i hate to see him go through this, it hurts our whole family to have to see him go through this whole detox/treatment and he is allowed one call a day and we can only visit 4 days a week for one hour...wow this really sucks i feel soo hurt for my little brother i love him so much...sorry for the long post
 
It seems like there's a lot of elements coming to play here. Think there might be bigger issues then you not being able to see your brother for some time. I don't ever think anyone should be forced into treatment though. It just doesn't seem right.

I don't think worrying about your 17 year old brothers drug rehab process is helping very much. You know hes going to be safe and unharmed there so you should just relax and let time do its magic.
 
It sounds like you have a very tight-knit family that cares about each other. The rehab is probably being cagey about when he leaves because the length of his stay probably depends on the severity of the addiction, his willingness to play along, as well as the sad reality of how many days the insurance company can be convinced to shell out.

As for what to expect, the counselors probably want the best for him. What their definition of that is may range from going to an IOP and some NA meetings for the rest of his life to convincing your parents to ship him to Florida, or California, or Texas, or Minnesota because they might try to convince your parents that living at home is not good for his recovery and he needs to be inundated within a 12-step environment to ensure success.

I would suggest you talk to your parents about a non-12-step therapist, unless he likes the idea of the meetings and is willing to stay sober through them. But please don't force him to go to meetings, because there are plenty of other methods, like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy. If he's serious about cleaning up his act but doesn't want to go to the meetings, listen to him. If the rehab tries to tell you that 12-steps are the only way, look for evidence based addiction therapists.
 
also ask the facility what items you can bring froom home -like changes of clothes, toothbrushes, etc, books, so on... to make his stay better....
 
yo0123yo said:
so then the question comes in to play....why is my whole family this worried about him being away from home for 4 days already????
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I'm guessing that the family isn't worried that he is away. They are just worried in and of itself. Love will do that ;)
Your brother is struggling and it hurts to watch someone we love go through the negative stuff in life. Your family sounds pretty damn awesome and with something that powerful on your brother's side, well... he's a lucky dude
 
This can be a great opportunity for him to make some changes. There's nothing wrong with him having to be out own his own for a while; discomfort can create growth. If your family is used to being close all the time then it it makes sense for them to be concerned.

His drug use isn't your fault. And whether or not the treatment is helpful also depends on his decision to change his behaviour. I would just be as supportive as possible. If you will continue with the substance use then it may be helpful for him if you do not do so around him.
 
great replies appreciate it guys, the only thing worrying me now is that we do not know when he is getting out at all, they will not say and its pissing me off
 
i mean is it normal for my family and i to be this sad over my brother being away since saturday so far? my brother gets a call every day and its even hard for my mom to talk to him on the phone without crying since he has never been away from us for this long ever and we only get to visit him tues, thurs, sat and sun. for 1 hour a day..i just feel so sad not having my little brother at home and my mom just keeps crying i do not know if this is a normal thing or is this definitely how something goes when someone gets sent to a rehab for a little while? i just cant wait to visit him today
 
yo0123yo said:
the only thing worrying me now is that we do not know when he is getting out at all, they will not say and its pissing me off
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what's the rush? Honestly, the longer he is away, the better. It will give him some time to get his head clear and not think about anything beyond what he needs to take care of internally. All his needs are being met (shit, he might even get laid in there). You and your family need to take this time to sort yourselves out. The distraction of the stress he was causing is now greatly minimized so your mom can relax and handle what she needs to handle. She should be relieved, actually. I know some moms that were actually grateful for their kids getting locked up because they knew that they were essentially safe from the lifestyle while they were in jail

On the flip side, if he isn't done getting high yet then he isn't done getting high. You NEED to know that his tolerance is dropping.
HE CAN NOT USE THE DOSAGES HE WAS ACCUSTOMED TO PREVIOUSLY

So many people die because they think they can push the same amount as when they stopped. You need to tell him that his tolerance has lowered and he doesn't need the same quantities to get the same results as before, man.
 
OverDone said:
what's the rush? Honestly, the longer he is away, the better. It will give him some time to get his head clear and not think about anything beyond what he needs to take care of internally. All his needs are being met (shit, he might even get laid in there). You and your family need to take this time to sort yourselves out. The distraction of the stress he was causing is now greatly minimized so your mom can relax and handle what she needs to handle. She should be relieved, actually. I know some moms that were actually grateful for their kids getting locked up because they knew that they were essentially safe from the lifestyle while they were in jail

On the flip side, if he isn't done getting high yet then he isn't done getting high. You NEED to know that his tolerance is dropping.
HE CAN NOT USE THE DOSAGES HE WAS ACCUSTOMED TO PREVIOUSLY

So many people die because they think they can push the same amount as when they stopped. You need to tell him that his tolerance has lowered and he doesn't need the same quantities to get the same results as before, man.
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def appreciate this..totally true..i guess my parents are happy knowing hes not doing anything bad in there but they just hate the "your child isnt home for X days"
 
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