Where are you now ?

theartofwar

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 29, 2009
Messages
3,263
Location
Boston
As we grow older we inevitably have goals / dreams - and we work towards these. Take a look at your life, what have you accomplished ? How does this make you feel ? And finally, what more do you want to accomplish ?

I just remember when the simplest things (dunking on a 7 foot basketball hoop was my dream in life, so I could show my older brother). Those childhood passions and dreams to succeed have seemingly passed for good. So reaching in other areas for motivation has left me questioning where both I stand and others with who we are, and where we stand and represent.
 
All told, I'm on a better standing than most people my age. I'll turn 20 next month, and I have seven classes left toward a b.s. in accounting at George Mason University (GMU). I have two jobs, neither of which are particularly fulfilling, but that should change in about five years or so. I'm getting old enough to where I can help take care of my mom and younger brother -- pay a few bills. I'm not doing so well on the relationship front, but I don't feel rushed at all to get serious with anyone for at least several more years. Still, I feel like I could be doing better considering I blew $20,000 of hard earned money, that I saved from 14-17, in the stock market. I've made some destructive decisions while in the throes of a bad amphetamine habit, but I've all but repaired those rifts. My relationship with my dad is strained (as is all my siblings') and I don't think it'll ever be what it should (not in my control). Sadly, I still have a worrying inability to do things like washing dishes, doing laundry, buying groceries smartly, etc. As a result, I don't think I'd be able to live independently until a few more years at least, but I don't feel rushed at all, as opposed to some white kids whose parents kick them out of the house at a certain age. Oh, the car I drive isn't really mine, but it was paid for by my mom a few years earlier. I blame my decision to trade options (basically gamble) in the stock market for not being more self-sufficient today, as I would have a strong cushion of $25-30k to build off of. Still, I'm grateful for everything and thankful to God that I'm not in a worse situation, as it was looking like at one point (during my amphetamine problem).

As far as what I want to accomplish. I want to become a Certified Public Accountant within the next 3-4 years. I want to move out within 5 years. I want to be married by age 27. I want to have my own successful business by 25-30. I want to have a million dollars by age 40. Only time will tell how realistic these ambitions turn out to be.
 
Im 22 and starting my second year at university I have been battling a heroin addiction for 4 years but lately I have been doing good with it. I am grateful that I dont have any felonys or pending court cases (knock on wood). I dont have as many friends as I would like but I can change that. I am studying to be a teacher so in 5 years I would like to gave a degree and a job somewhere outside of the south that has a medical pot system. Alot of people I did heroin with are either dead or in jail so I feel real lucky.
 
I just wanna compare myself to a year ago.

1year ago:
Location: Long Beach, CA
Occupation: highschool dropout
Activities:smoking blunts, piecing the perfect family for me, chillin on the stoop, socializing+smoking blunts, punk rock
Highlights: I started my path to personal enlightenment, my life was vibrant n flowing with meaning.
Who I was: Wolfie, the cat on 7th n elm. LBxGRASA. seeker of the truth. leader of every conversation. the one with his head on straighter than anyone else.

Now
Location: Corona,CA
Occupation: college student
Activities: BL, bowl smokin, pharm eatin, reading, working
Highlights: start of adult life, proved I really am college material
Who I am: Evan Duran, another file in that system, waiting for a chance, nothing different from him over there, unexperienced (to these ppl), alone & proud (but struggling), tired n lost
 
As we grow older we inevitably have goals / dreams - and we work towards these. Take a look at your life, what have you accomplished ? How does this make you feel ? And finally, what more do you want to accomplish ?

I just remember when the simplest things (dunking on a 7 foot basketball hoop was my dream in life, so I could show my older brother). Those childhood passions and dreams to succeed have seemingly passed for good. So reaching in other areas for motivation has left me questioning where both I stand and others with who we are, and where we stand and represent.

I suppose i could say this has been my main dilemma for the last couple of years, i began to question why i wanted to accomplish anything.. why couldn't i be happy with simple pleasures, what was driving me to want to achieve more? Furthermore would i be happy once i got there or would i want more. This has lead to long contemplation on the question of 'What do i want from life?'.. or maybe its 'what can i give to life?'. Im yet to find answers to these questions.. which have left me in a sort of existential angst.

Where am i now? I have no idea.. uncertainty has become commonplace. But in the time between i do casual work and continue to save.
 
I dropped out of school when I was 16 because I had to pursue something that I couldn't pursue while I was in public school.
some people turn out for the worst when they drop out, others just grow up and move on
I got a job at 16, have been employed since then doing various shit
Escaped from the toxic environment I grew up in a few hours before I turned 18 and never looked back.
Had my first relationshit at 18, learned my lesson. Fuck relationshits, I don't care for one anyhow.
Became homeless at the age of 19, changed my life forever. Made me a different person entirely. Taught me how to manage money, how to make use of shit, how to do without. This period of time is when I became strong enough to support myself without a fear of not knowing how. Now I sometimes feel that I teeter on the edge of too independent as a result of that time in my life, but I'd rather be too independent than too co-dependent.
Somehow, don't ask me how, I got out of homelessness, got my GED with high scores (never said I was stupid, I dropped out for personal reasons), found a steady job which lead to experience in the steel industry (which seems to have started a long road of being stuck in the steel industry, but it's a career I guess), took care of a multitude of personal life things that some of you here know about, but I'm frankly surprised I got that far....and last but not least....MOVED OUT OF THE FUCKING TOWN I GREW UP IN, finally. That was also a major goal of mine, to move away, and I finally did it.

My goals now are to get my own apt in the new city asap instead of living in my buddy's basement, and to save up massive quantities of money. Oh, and to get completely shitfaced on my 21st bday in 10 days
 
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interesting responses:

@Ixchellian - i feel you on last year a junky

@Zombies - it is an overwhelming thought and emotionally can really choke you if you aren't ready and end up stumbling into.

Ever since I started a journal awhile back , I found it much easier to locate problems in my life (providing I could not bullshit myself and write EXACTLY what was going on, no fucking congratulating yourself for living a perfect day - journals are personal because they must be honest even if it is humiliating). Once I began locating the problems I found setting goals on how to overcome my flaws helped tremendously and also I finally found a career to work towards which truly has helped drastically. Otherwise, today would be like any other older day - how am I getting high, and after I am high, where am I heading out to have fun. (Mind you I love doing that , still do ) Just not on a level that will affect me at 25 as I see it is well past time to grow up in a multitood of areas.
 
I like to keep things simple.

Last year, a junky
Today is for existing
Tomorrow never comes

@Ixchellian - i feel you on last year a junky.

hmmm.... actually, its been a year & some months since I've had an active junk habit.

Now, I have an active RedBull, fine-grade coffee, and premium e-cig (max strength!) habit.... which altogether is almost as expensive! 8)

Oh.... and I can say that my travellings & wanderings are much easier to plan.... no hourglass, in the form of a script, hanging over my head.
 
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Recently getting over a speed habit that I didn't think I'd ever have to deal with again. Finished my bachelor in psychology a couple of years ago, working on a certificate in addiction counseling right now. I was previously sure I would go to grad school but it doesn't seem like that's much of an interest anymore. No specific career goals although I do get various ideas and I'd like to be able to work for myself. I suppose my vague goal right now is to start traveling and to make a living doing things that I enjoy enough that I would do them for free.
 
After finishing a paramedic course in school that just wouldn't end, because the paramedics striked, and we couldn't finish our practicums; and then suffering an injury and a surgery that pushed it all back another 9 months, the goal I've been working towards for four years now is finally starting to come together. I'm cleared by my physiotherapist to start working again. I've got a good job starting in a week, working as a medic on an oil rig, it's 2 weeks in one week out, which will give me the time I need to finish off the hiring process for the ambulance service. It was frustrating to be so close and yet not be able to achieve my goal, because of circumstances out of my control.

But I have no friends anymore (one ex girlfriend, it's painful being her buddy, but it's really better than no-one), depression scared them off. I've gotten laid once in the last two years which scares me, that I might not have any more relationships what with my social situation and everything.

I've kicked my addictions in the last month and a half (knock on wood, it was surprisingly easy), and for the first time, am going to focus on working for the next year, making something of myself, and then hopefully the personal aspects will fall into place. And I have my first nice (for me) car. A sweet old Jeep that actually starts and doesn't smell like burning, with a heater that works!

So I'm less happy than when I was a kid (and an adult living as a kid), but I'm more aware, of why I'm sad and what I need to do to have a life that will hopefully turn that frown upside down... This is a great thread TheArtOfWar , I wish I had your drive at your age...You sound like you've got it pretty together.
 
I was one of the smartest kids in my school, breezed through school and the first year of college with no problems at all then was kicked out of one lesson for not turning up enough even though I had an A in that class. So I ended up dropping out of college then (english college, not american). I ended up working at maccy d's for a while and getting into drugs and gambling and wasted quite a few years of my life.

Eventually found a job at a hospital pathology laboratory, was not a skilled job, and was way below my abilities but it was better than nothing, abused that job at the same time as abusing drugs for 4 years, went through numerous depressive episodes during that job and was off sick for about 1/4 of the time there.

I left that job to go back to school, enrolled in a university degree that would take 4 years, and was doing well for the first half of the year then started to get distracted and bored. Then I met my ex, who I instantly fell for and I spent a lot of time with, she was living in a different city, I took my exams for uni, pretty much knew that I had failed them because I didn't put enough effort into them even though I should have easily passed that year.

I moved in with my ex and gave up the degree, moved to this city I am in now, was with her for around 2 years, we got engaged pretty quickly, we moved to a house on the outskirts of the city, and we were happy. Then I broke it off about 4 months ago because I was unsure if I would be happy in the future or if it would last. I desperately want to go travelling and I am not a huge fan of society and that is at odds with what my ex fiance wanted.

These last 4 months on my own have been hard, I have spent most of the time regretting the decision to leave my ex, although we both now agree it was the correct one. I have wasted a lot of these 4 months going down a path of self destruction but that has stopped now and I have turned a corner and am ready to start sorting my life out again. I have a job in a lab in this city and I have a place to live. I have a life here, not much of one.

It is where I am now at 25, not where I thought I would be at this age, when I left school at 16 so much was expected of me by my family because I was the smart one. All I seem to have done is disappoint them and worry them constantly with my depression, anxiety, and most of all my drug abuse and gambling habits. Have cut out the gambling for now, and the drug abuse is only rare, and tapering off benzos which I have been on for over 7 years now, pretty low on my taper now, 12mg diaz a day.

I have realised though that I need to focus on me and finding out who I am and what I want from life rather than trying to fit in with the expectations of my family and of society in general. I am not a fan of society as many people know, I feel the need to get away from it, and am planning to go travelling in a couple of years to take a break from it, and then hopefully find some sort of life where I can be happy with myself, stop trying to please my familly and failing and stop trying to fit into something that I don't feel comfortablel in.

To answer the initial question Where are you now? I am pretty lost right now, still wonder whether I should have settled down with my ex and lived the happy life that we had going, I really really hope I haven't made a huge mistake by leaving her and trying to find myself on my own. I do feel I need to find myself properly though and it wouldn't have been fair to take her along for the ride and then realise that the me that I found didn't include her, although it may well have included her. Who knows.

Anyways, will stop rambling now and let other people post where they are now :)
 
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