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The Cuddle Puddle vers. Bsiren's first time

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Today can be a good day! Its all about your mindset. You can turn almost any situation into a good one with how you approach it. And hell, it could always be worse.
 
For me, probably not tbh.
most days arent good days anymore, havent been for a long long time.
but i hope you have a good day tomorrow.
i'm excited for this weekend...but i'm gonna try to not do amphets
a. cause i only got 200mg if that, thatll last me 3 hours max specially if i got no reason to be paranoid, and there wouldnt be
b. missing shit=no bueno, as in a whole bottle out that much earlier, and this month's bottle is saposed to last a few days longer than a month cause i got some 15's too..
c. i feel like even more of a loser sitting around doing fucktons of dexedrine alone, that i cant even find some fuckheads to get high with most of the time.
hoepfully i may be gettin blow soon.
freehugs, i dont mean to sound like a dick, cause i like you, its nothing personal...but you'er not gonna cheer me up. i've been depressed for a long time now, long before drugs and such, and i've honestly tried to jsut be happy ovr the years, but at about 15 i just couldn't try to force myself to be happy with my life anymore..
 
The worst is yet to come tbh. Today started off a good day. My mindset is uncontrollable. Im slowly starting to think that Im slightly bipolar.

LSDMDMA&9836915 said:
i've been depressed for a long time now, long before drugs and such, and i've honestly tried to jsut be happy ovr the years, but at about 15 i just couldn't try to force myself to be happy with my life anymore..
Click to expand...

^ This. Except it started at 11.
 
I'm not bipolar, i'm just depressed.
I'm not taking any anti depressants/drugs ever, cause hell i'd rather just shove amphetamines up my nose if i have to use chemicals to be happy with my life.
when you know WHY you're depressed and have i suppose a somewhat legitimate reason to be dissatisfied with life, pills arent gonna help i dont think...
 
I know Im depressed. Bipolar is just a theory I have. SSRIs helped for when I was on them and then I got tapered off. 3 months later: suddenly, depression.
 
I know man don't worry you don't sound like a dick. If there is anything I can do let me know. I'm always available to talk :D
 
Honestly, theres nothin any of you guys can do, i mean its not that i'm not open to talkign with you guys...but my issues cant be fixed over the internet with people i dont know, and they sure as hell cant be fixed quickly/instantly/not over a decent span of time
if this shit ever can be fixed, its me and me alone that can fix it and hell...after a while you just give up, at least i did...after years of hoping and trying to make shit better and failing every time, and things only getting worse the older you get, you just start to accept what is, at least to some degree...
amphetamines make me less depressed for a few hours if i get enough in me
more apathy and just fuck the world though, which is nice too.
 
Ive noticed weed makes me less depressed. But NO, I was forced to stop and then I somehow didnt enjoy it anymore.
 
Weed makes me honestly not depressed but not happy...an uncomfortable state of neutrality, not the kind of apathy you get from benzos opiates and amphets, more like i cant think proper to understand how i feel at all..and mentally retarded, as in more antisocial than usual (which is PRETTY fucking bad) and paranoid like no other, i dont understand it.
I smoked on and off for 3 years, and it always made me paranoid. 3 or 4 years...honestly i'm less paranoid when i've been up for 3 days on amphetamines than i am when i'm baked, bud is just plain unenjoyable to me pretty much 99% of the time. and i have a general dislike for potheads as i'm sure you all know.
or at least pothaed douchebags who dont do anything but smoke bud, drugs wise, and try to talk like they know shit about real drugs and all that, and the kids who think they're gangstas for smokin bud
Am i gangsta cause i can put 20 dexedrine 10s up my nose in an hour easy?
or cause i was in teh hospital cause of droogz once technically?
when was doin droogz gangsta? i must have missed the memo, cause i'd be a gangsta ass cracka maybe if so
 
Crunk juice, crunk soda, crunk burgers, crunk n potatoes, gumbo crunk....

Let's close this thread tonight :p
 
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