• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

All I have to say about women.

Orlando_Doom said:
Why didn't you just link http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ instead of writing everything you read there here and sell it as your own realization?
Click to expand...

And when exactly did I say that I came up with this, hmm?
Right, I didn't.

And mostly because I forgot about that guys' site. Although all he ever talks about is "be cocky and funny" so it's not like you would get anything from there that you wouldn't get from this thread, which I conveniently put right in front of you so you didn't have to go searching for it.
 
All I have to say AS a woman, is that your method is effective as you have acted it out on myself.
I can see how your advice would be useful to some people who are lacking the essential qualities (confidence, humor, comforting personality), but I don't think it's a bible in the making.

If someone comes to you begging for help, you should be happy to share it. Throwing it out there and hoping everyone has this big epiphany isn't going to work.
 
A Blind Guy said:
Why wouldn't confidence be appealing, and why would you not want to be confident?
Is self-anxiety more attractive than confidence? That doesn't even make sense.
And it's not a pre written bullshit script, you have to do it naturally. What I wrote in the OP was more of a general outline than rules. Like speed limits.
Click to expand...

If somebody is genuinely confident, that's fine. I'm talking about trying to act differently than I would naturally act in order to get somebody attracted to me. I just don't understand the point in this.

It is possible to find people that are genuinely attracted for reasons other than these unconscious drives that you are describing. And I'd much prefer to meet these other people.
 
A Blind Guy said:
Why wouldn't confidence be appealing, and why would you not want to be confident?
Is self-anxiety more attractive than confidence? That doesn't even make sense.
Click to expand...

If you're referring to using the word "self" as a qualifier for the word, "anxiety" then you are correct. That doesn't make sense.
 
I was trying to search my vocabulary for the opposite of "confidence". Unconfidence? Yeah that's not a word, says firefox.
So I just went with self-anxiety.
My bad. :/
 
SweetIrony Inc. said:
...and really just be yourself.
Click to expand...
much of what you (and 'a blind guy') are saying completely contradicts what you say here. you're telling men they have to be themselves and in the same breath that, if they're not naturally confident, they have to act more confident, be more 'alpha'. your (plural) thinking seems very muddled.
A Blind Guy said:
Why wouldn't confidence be appealing, and why would you not want to be confident?
Is self-anxiety more attractive than confidence? That doesn't even make sense.
And it's not a pre written bullshit script, you have to do it naturally.
Click to expand...
what if you're not naturally a confident person? some people just aren't confident and telling them "just be confident" misses the point completely.
A Blind Guy said:
Isn't that what all men want? A chance to do nice things with pretty girls?
Click to expand...
different people want different things and to suggest, as you are, that these 'rules' apply to everybody (on both sides of the equation) is nonsensical.
A Blind Guy said:
Some girl in this thread who I do not know told me I should give seminars about this. My current girlfriend agrees with her.
Click to expand...
so two women agree with you. well, at least three women in this thread disagree with you. what's the conclusion?

i'm not up in arms about anything you've written. i'm just offering my opinion on your post. bluelight is a discussion community. that's how it works. it's pretty straightforward :)

alasdair
 
alasdairm said:
much of what you (and 'a blind guy') are saying completely contradicts what you say here. you're telling men they have to be themselves and in the same breath that, if they're not naturally confident, they have to act more confident, be more 'alpha'. your (plural) thinking seems very muddled.
what if you're not naturally a confident person? some people just aren't confident and telling them "just be confident" misses the point completely.
different people want different things and to suggest, as you are, that these 'rules' apply to everybody (on both sides of the equation) is nonsensical.
so two women agree with you. well, at least three women in this thread disagree with you. what's the conclusion?

i'm not up in arms about anything you've written. i'm just offering my opinion on your post. bluelight is a discussion community. that's how it works. it's pretty straightforward :)

alasdair
Click to expand...

If you aren't confident you should do whatever it takes to make yourself confident.
Why would you want to be uncomfortable with yourself? I was there. This is wayyyy better.

I wasn't naturally confident either. But I took active steps to change myself into something I wanted to be.
I'm pretty sure all (straight) males want to do nice things with pretty girls.

... yeah. yeah that's all of them.

3 girls here disagree with me, but the 13 girls I've been with didn't. ugh. I didn't even want to have to play that card.
I'm just saying, if you want to make a girl squirt that's a pretty good way to do it.
 
Games may work on girls and if you're pursuing a girl, then you may get some success playing games, however by the time most of us become women, we have figured out all the games and are tired of them. Any guy who goes out of his way to make me jealous, ignores me or otherwise treats me with disrespect will get kicked to the curb so fast it will make his head spin.
 
alasdairm said:
much of what you (and 'a blind guy') are saying completely contradicts what you say here. you're telling men they have to be themselves and in the same breath that, if they're not naturally confident, they have to act more confident, be more 'alpha'. your (plural) thinking seems very muddled.

what if you're not naturally a confident person? some people just aren't confident and telling them "just be confident" misses the point completely.

different people want different things and to suggest, as you are, that these 'rules' apply to everybody (on both sides of the equation) is nonsensical.

so two women agree with you. well, at least three women in this thread disagree with you. what's the conclusion?

i'm not up in arms about anything you've written. i'm just offering my opinion on your post. bluelight is a discussion community. that's how it works. it's pretty straightforward :)

alasdair
Click to expand...

My opinion is the advice ABG gave in the first post was a decent rundown of instinctual cues. People are angry about him saying it because we don't want to allow that, at some level, we're all somewhat programmed, and it's possible to push those buttons. I think the people arguing with him the most are those who don't want to be ruled by their "bodies" so to speak, and push a more mature, mutual relationship that requires communication and exchange.

Alas, that's only possible if both parties are intelligent or wise enough to have that level of empathy. Many people ARE ruled by their instincts and their bodies, and there are certain things you can do to cause certain reactions. This is what ABG has listed, in a fairly simplified, universal form. Not specific things you do, but general manners in which you act to provoke attention from the opposite, here female, sex.

Ultimately, I think people are seeing ABG as the avatar of the recursive sexist alpha male who tells every guy they can only be manly by being "confident" and treating women only as challenges to be conquered. If you look closely at his posts and how he writes them, I think he is not that. I think people are also conflating "confident" with "extroverted". While the two terms are often related, one can be introverted yet comfortable with what one is. I think "being comfortable with who you are" is a better meaning of confidence, that more people can relate to.
 
if you want to get a REAL WOMEN your games wont work , trust me a WOMEN can smell immaturity from a mile away and it doesnt fly very far .. im sure your "game " will work on most silly girls tho.

youll get twisted when you find one that puts YOU in your place
 
Last edited:
I think it's the title of this thread that many women find offensive, specifically the word 'all'. OP, I know you're using this word and title to emphasize to guys just how simple it is. But consider the implications to a female audience. "Important things I learned about women" would have caused less of a problem.

Being confident (a.k.a. at peace with yourself and the world in general) is the key to attractiveness of all kinds among all people, yes. But beyond that it's hard to generalize. Not the same things make all people feel confident in themselves. Different people look for different things in the people they meet as indicators of self-confidence.

I've always put it this way: know where you shine, go where you shine, show where you shine. If you're in your element in a situation and are able to relax, have fun, and be spontaneous there, your energy will attract others to you who also feel comfortable in that situation, including people who are looking for romance. I know I could never pick up a woman in a bar or club. It's not that I lack confidence. It's that I know myself well enough to know that that scene isn't where I shine, and doesn't give me the opportunity to showcase my best points. A poetry slam at a coffee shop is another story. One of these was instrumental in getting the woman who's now my wife to fall for me.

If you're having trouble finding sex, love, or romance, you could change your behavior. Or you could change where you're looking. Or a little of both.
 
^ you are awesome <3
this is how a guy stands out more then others you are who you are and you love your self . that is sexy ! NOT TRYING is sexy
 
^^Word...

Naw man, I ain't mad at you. I just think you're fucking hi-LARious.

In fact, I think you must spread your gospel. I recommend purchasing ad-space on pornographic websites. Big flashing letters that say something along the lines of "SECRET TECHNIQUE FOR TO BONE ANY WOMAN!!!!1" with a buck-nekkid co-ed beneath, or something equally modest would probably do well.
 
Last edited:
NineStorms said:
My opinion is the advice ABG gave in the first post was a decent rundown of instinctual cues. People are angry about him saying it because we don't want to allow that, at some level, we're all somewhat programmed, and it's possible to push those buttons. I think the people arguing with him the most are those who don't want to be ruled by their "bodies" so to speak, and push a more mature, mutual relationship that requires communication and exchange.

Alas, that's only possible if both parties are intelligent or wise enough to have that level of empathy. Many people ARE ruled by their instincts and their bodies, and there are certain things you can do to cause certain reactions. This is what ABG has listed, in a fairly simplified, universal form. Not specific things you do, but general manners in which you act to provoke attention from the opposite, here female, sex.

Ultimately, I think people are seeing ABG as the avatar of the recursive sexist alpha male who tells every guy they can only be manly by being "confident" and treating women only as challenges to be conquered. If you look closely at his posts and how he writes them, I think he is not that. I think people are also conflating "confident" with "extroverted". While the two terms are often related, one can be introverted yet comfortable with what one is. I think "being comfortable with who you are" is a better meaning of confidence, that more people can relate to.
Click to expand...
thanks for the considered response. i'm not angry at the op.

i just think his "if all guys follow this advice they will woo all women" post to be tired, ill-considered, very general, muddled and out of sync with the tone of the slr forum on bluelight. it's a crass simplification but if the op thinks he's god's gift to women (and men) he should publish his ideas more widely - except he'll find that somebody (somebodies...) have done it already and did it 'better'...

:\

alasdair
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top