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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

How to tell when you start becoming an addict?

Well using 3 days is week is certainly better than using daily. Do you think that after those two weeks you will be able to use more occasionally than you have been? You did say that love hydromorphone more than you love yourself. If this is the case, how will you be able to choose your own well-being over getting high if the drug is available? I'm not saying you can or can't, it's just helpful to be honest with yourself either way.
 
Using an opiate as potent as hydro - although in my view, using ANY opiate - 3 days weekly is way too much. It could conceivably work in the case of someone who doesn't care either way whether he can get high or not, or in the case of someone who is simply thrown in the direction of opiates by chance, but you're very clearly not this person!

Two things really jump out at me from your story: 1) The attachment you have already developed for opiates; and 2) The fact that you're using not purely for fun but to enhance the quality of your life, because you're not getting enough pleasure by the usual means.

In my view, 1) and 2) lead so consistently to drug addiction that it's almost childish to consider the possibility that they won't.

I remember constructing such elaborate plans to regulate my use when I discovered oxy. I'm talking literally 5-page manifestos that took me hours to draw up and included all sorts of regimens and accounted for all sorts of prognoses. I think that when a person feels they need to give serious thought to their use, they are at a turning point, and probably already well on the way to addiction.

Not that it really matters, because it is virtually impossible to get through to a person in this state! Honestly, did you want this sort of advice? Or did you want to be told "yeah, go for it"? Drug addiction is powerful and insidious; it takes an equally powerful and unwavering sort of honesty and self-examination to beat it. That is, to view it in the present for what it is, and not in retrospect and after the damage has been done.
 
id also like to add i think when you start counting the days until your break is over for the next time you use is a sign of psychological addiction.
 
suessmayr said:
I remember constructing such elaborate plans to regulate my use when I discovered oxy. I'm talking literally 5-page manifestos that took me hours to draw up and included all sorts of regimens and accounted for all sorts of prognoses. I think that when a person feels they need to give serious thought to their use, they are at a turning point, and probably already well on the way to addiction.
Click to expand...

GOSH, i know how that is! 8( suboxone, xanax and klonopin (and various other "side-effect meds" as i called them) drove me there.. wow.


olab7 said:
id also like to add i think when you start counting the days until your break is over for the next time you use is a sign of psychological addiction.
Click to expand...

i was thinking this too.



also, i think someone else mentioned it before but if you're starting to think "maybe i'm an addict" or "what if i become an addict" chances are you are on your way, if not already getting there quickly. i always rationalized my use when i was there but i couldn't do that when i got pregnant so i quit cold turkey and i was 'better' for nearly 2 years. now, thankfully, i'm not who i once was then but sometimes it seems better then who i became getting into such a more (in my eyes) complex, mind boggling drug. where you are with hyrdos is where i am with methamphetamine. luckily, i'm able to recognize exactly where i am (only 2 maybe 3 months in) and take the high road out and stop before i ruin my life and more importantly my daughters life.

still on either side of it i was most happy SOBER in the in between. that tells me something. i got my priorities all wrong.

honestly, i think if i were you i would just try to abstain for the whole two weeks your connect is gone WITHOUT using. see where that puts you.
 
if you are already aware of issues with depression and you aren't even a full blown addict yet you are going to have some serious issues when you do become physically addicted. it sounds like the mental addiction has already taken root. for instance, any time spent going through withdrawals either because you can't get more or are actually trying to stop are going to be a complete mind fuck. a dangerous one at that. address your depression with someone certified to deal with those issues, this is even more important than pondering wether you are becoming an addict or not. and i don't mean go to a doctor and get a script and continue on. find someone you feel comfortable talking to about your depression and where it comes from and you will ultimately be much happier than you are now regardless of the dope. i'm not discrediting the usefulness of prescription meds for depression but i personally believe actually addressing the issues can be more beneficial than simply throwing meds at it which is what we (or maybe i should just speak for myself) have always done.

currently you are headed down a dangerous, life-threatening path but you have the opportunity now to do something about it. and take what people here say to heart, i wish i had when i lurked here for years as a "functioning" addict.

regardless of what you decide to do be safe and good luck.
 
I agree, it seems like depression may be problem for you. Feeling insecure when your stash runs out, or trying to prolong the "highs" you get from your stash is a sure sign of addiction. Worst yet, some people go through their whole lives as addicts and can still function. I am one of those people in fact. Married, college degree, job, etc. I can honesty say that if I could go back I would not use drugs at all. At times I think, " Man would I have been more successful in life if I wouldn't have made that choice to use, and spent hours upon hours searching for drugs or the next high? "What if I would have spent the time dedicated to my drug habits on better myself? You sound like me, slightly depressed and easily bored. Drugs aren't good for people like us.
 
By the way, you will always find another connection for drugs. Trust me. When your next connection dries up, just watch. You will more than likely end up having to degrade yourself in some way to find a new connection. Can't tell you how many times in college my roommate and I would be pissed all day when we couldn't re-up. We would then get all desperate and call everyone we knew trying to mooch some drugs or call the same guy back again again to see if he re-uped yet. It sucks!
 
Can you go a day without thinking about hydro? Does it preoccupy your thoughts? Can you imagine your situation deteriorating for whatever reason without your use escalating or without using at all? Have you become conditioned to view the high as a necessary adjunct/relief?
 
What's the worst thing about addiction other than w/d's? What if you had a steady supply of cheap as shit hydromorphones? What if i went and bought 120mg for 60-100 bucks? i only need 6mg a day.. 60-100 bucks isn't much at all.
It's like cigarettes. I can't go without one, but i'll always be glad i have them. I've been smoking for almost 4 years and i love it..
What if i could have the same feelings for hydro's? If i pay next to nothing for them and i never have to w/d then why not just embrace it?

(also i realize if i become addicted i'll need more than 6mg's a day to feel the same high but i buy them cheap as shit and i never get in bulk.. i'm sure if i did i'd get an even better deal)
 
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Your tolerance is likely to increase drastically if you use each day, and the pleasurable effects will likely decrease. There will be times when you can't get any. Or your source won't be there anymore and you'll have to pay much more from somebody else. There's too many variables to predict. You think you'll have the same source in 1, 5, 10, 20 years? What if you decide to move somewhere else? Or he/she gets arrested? Or maybe he/she will see how much you want them and just double the price.

And with addiction you don't even know the price of it. I've quit smoking so many times times and each time I do I realize the freedom that I've lost by being dependent on cigarettes and can't believe how I allowed myself to feel like shit by smoking a pack each day. Then each time I start smoking again I forget all about that I tell myself how much I enjoy it.

You can do as you wish but be realistic about the consequences. Daily opiate use seems to have quite a predictable outcome.
 
For me the worst thing about opiate addiction was the loss of freedom there was alot of days when I would wake up and wanna do anything other than get high but I had no choice because I couldnt do anything if I was sick. Man I was kinda like you I went willingly into heroin addiction I knew I was getting hooked and I said farther up and farther in I said this to myself a few times each decision leading me deeper into the hole. Opiates are a rabbt hole with a deep bottom and a steep clmb out I started when I was 18 im now 22 and just begining to put the pieces back together. I know im wasting bandwidth and you have already made a decision this just reinforcs my belief that you cant tell people shit they just gotta experience it for themselves. Be safe and have fun while it lasts and please always use clean needles and equipment if you get nothing else outta this thread get that.
 
you know your an addict when you think you might be an addict lol Edit:( let me rephrase; ive never met anyone who thought they might be an addict that didnt end up being an addict)


Honestly bro I had enough opiates to take them 24/7 all day every day but it felt like shit... Because i was always up and down..
No problems with supply or anything and i was taking massive amounts..

In the end the only opiate i like and take now daily is Buprenorphine..

I cant take short acting opiods any more they make me feel like shit and strung out

as im typing this i have a whole bottle of oxy's next to me and im not even tempted to take any :/... ill prob just throw them away.. I took them last week for a few days and felt like shit
 
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Definitely sounds like you're becoming an addict if you haven't already become one. Im glad you've decided to take a break from them, but if you're tempted to use
again I'm not going to tell you not to do them, because you're going to do what you want, everyone does. But I do want to leave you with some words of caution.
When it comes these types of drugs, you're going to need more and more to achieve the same feeling you get from them now. Eventually you will just need them to feel normal. And when you can't get them or finally realize its time to quit them, well imagine every bit of pleasure you've gotten from them turning into pain and misery ten times as strong...but even after all that you will still want to use again because their grip is so strong. That's opiate addiction.
 
^^^ she knows of what she speaks.

the most fucked up part about being an addict. Is that as you build your tolerance to get higher and higher when it comes time to get sober/clean you really want to fall from the shortest distance as possible.

My opiate addiction had me for about 8-9 years, trust me I fell fast, hard and far. But I made it through it and so can you :) The sooner you stop the easier it is.
 
Bro, please take care. Getting started on drugs was the worst decision I made in my life back when I was 15 with weed and mushrooms. Then it went over the next 20+ years on and off to everything else but H and needles. Now that I have the rec(coke) use under control, I am now stuck taking opiates for the last 2 years because of repeated back surgery's and my tolerance for drugs from my past use of everything is massive. Its not worth the nightmare bro, believe me and all these good people here who know from experience. I just want a normal life and to settle down now that i'm 39 years old, but I pissed away so much money on drugs, rec and pharma's that i'm broke and now jobless because of this back injury and sharp stabbing sciatic pain in my legs that wont go away. I don`t know when and if i`ll ever work again. I've been battling depression and wanting to kill myself since I got hurt at work. You sound like you have a choice on where you want to go from here in your life. Please listen to those of us that don`t have many choices left because of age and failing heath. Its not worth it my friend. There are many here who are pulling for you bro to see that it just isn`t worth the pain, loss, heartache and everything else negative an addict feels when it looks like there is no hope.
There are professionals like psychologists who can help give you books, dvd`s, tools and stuff to help you better your feeling about life and keep you focused on the great things your life can be if you really want it.

Good luck to you bro. I wish you the best in everything you do!!
 
what do early w/d symptoms feel like?

I'm hungry but with no appetite
no motivation
legs feel like i need to keep stretching them
everytime i yawn my eyes tear up??
feeling lethargic and depressed
can't stop thinking about how good a few mg's would be

good/bad news: my connect is no longer in business. i no longer have access to them.
 
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^ take this is a god send, or whatever you like....... yes this is the early signs of WD......im on hour 61 of no dope use, its a painful and emotional struggle.....but in the long run, if you can stay sober for a long time or gain any exp.....its totally worth it.....
 
The original poster: thank your lucky stars that your connect has vanished. Trust me on that one.

Try worrying about opioid addiction once who have a chronic pain condition that will see you get hooked up with ludicrous quantities of fentanyl and oxy from any doctor in the land for the rest of your life.

Just think about that. Then it's no longer a case of "if/WHEN I lose my connect I'll quit/take a break".

Seriously, take it as a sign from up above. Watch some comedy, smoke some gear, go out for a walk/drive with some music, get back to enjoying life "straight". Best of luck.
 
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