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[quote='jat]I know people might not care to read about this sappiness, but man I'm so diggin being back with that beautiful young lady Really she's like the perfect girlfriend for me. Not too wild where I can't trust her, not too straight laced where I can't relate to her. And she told me to stop fucking with needles, and I listened. I don't like being told I can't do things but she so legitimately concerned I didn't even hesitate. The only one thing that gets to me at times is that she's really, really good looking. And still hasn't come to terms with the fact that all her "guy friends" want to plow her lmfao. She's also a model which bothers me a bit :P
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Where you been 'jat? Being an emotionally self-indulgent man myself, I don't mind this sort of talk at all (I think it's good to talk about it). I'm glad you quit the needle, it's very mature of you to see the value of someone you love over some silly ROA, I'll keep your decision in mind as I will now be faced with temptations to start booting again myself.


Wonderful evening with a tweaker acquaintence, we rearranged his closet, drank bourbon, smoked stuff, tried to cop on the street at various times between 11pm-3am.

Anyway, I know we didn't talk much before you started your wilderness/RV or whatever living psox, but I've always enjoyed your posts and I'm very glad to see you back here, and that you're doing well.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go lie in bed awake and become one with my dysphoria.
 
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argh, i hate family fights. parents can be so annoying and blind to the truth sometimes. is there an age where logic just changes into your own will and what others think does not matter anymore?

i know we all hope not to become like that one day, but i wonder if we really can avoid it.
 
nearjat said:
I like reading that PDers are doing the things you're doing Pepper :) I'm totally not doing those things... I guess happiness is just fragile for me and I'm scared of stress right now :P Whatever though at the end of the day I've got a job, healthy relationship with an amazing girl and I'm always working on improving my creative works. So basically I want to see how far I can get without doing things that don't make me happy (college).
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When I blew my gasket 8 months ago I was in a similar scenario but without the healthy relationship. I'd had enough with life and just wanted to screw around and do nothing. Then after doing nothing for 7 months or so the knots unravelled and I felt like doing stuff again.

I know people might not care to read about this sappiness, but man I'm so diggin being back with that beautiful young lady :) Really she's like the perfect girlfriend for me. Not too wild where I can't trust her, not too straight laced where I can't relate to her. And she told me to stop fucking with needles, and I listened. I don't like being told I can't do things but she so legitimately concerned I didn't even hesitate. The only one thing that gets to me at times is that she's really, really good looking. And still hasn't come to terms with the fact that all her "guy friends" want to plow her lmfao. She's also a model which bothers me a bit :P

this has thus far been a bomb ass summer.
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That's really great man. :) I totally feel you on being with a very attractive woman and being worried about all the other guys in the world.

You have to remember though that if she loves you she won't go for them; her mind's on you. The jealousy thing and worrying about her around other guys can kill a relationship. Trust is where it's at.

Never Knows Best said:
Anyway, I know we didn't talk much before you started your wilderness/RV or whatever living psox, but I've always enjoyed your posts and I'm very glad to see you back here, and that you're doing well.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go lie in bed awake and become one with my dysphoria.
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Thanks Never.

That's one thing I get too; only in the morning when I first wake up though. Getting out of bed is a real chore for me but once I'm up I'm good. I need to force myself to get out of bed when I first wake up; too much wasted time wallowing in the dreadful task of waking up. ;)

kingme said:
argh, i hate family fights. parents can be so annoying and blind to the truth sometimes. is there an age where logic just changes into your own will and what others think does not matter anymore?

i know we all hope not to become like that one day, but i wonder if we really can avoid it.
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Dude, my parents in a nutshell.
 
Hey pepper bro so good to see you! :)

Blew a gasket myself recently and changing things for the better now, and it seems to be working indeed. I hope all is good with you? Last thing I remember is that you decided to go live in a totally different place, feel free to share more if you like.

An a totally other note, could you guys please take a look at this cartoon/comic: never mind understanding the dialogue but I'd like to know what this is copied from. It looks like how they printed things in the old days, but how long ago? And what sort of comic books should I be thinking of? Any help is extremely welcome, I'm working on some things myself. :)

jeroom1.jpg


Also I am very happy that all went well when my mother donated/transplanted her kidney to my uncle <3 I am working on a piece of music in her honor, I'm adding some vitals like thumping blood pulse etc.
 
Sup BL?

I slept waaaay in. I needed the sleep though and slept well thanks to drinking last night. Don't feel too hungover though, which is good.

I purchased a vaporizer yesterday (finally), one of those box units. Gonna try it with non-illegal stuff like lavender, peppermint, passionflower, etc and see how it goes.

alrighty, off to work. Yay for flexible hours.
 
Lucky me, there was 10mg zaleplon left, it rid me of most of the unpleasantness of the meth comedown and let me sleep some (and gave me some pleasant hallucinations, not as good as when I took 40mg, plus it was after sunrise...).

Gotta eat, shower, and get my nod on (yes, right after I got up...I'm impatient, what can I say). Hmm, to waterline or chase?

Edit: Nevermind it seems I'm going to disneyland since today's the last day my pass is good for. Erm...as soon as I get back I will get my nod on!
 
Loaned a good drug acquaintance of mine 90 buck to repay his dealer. Just so he can get the front again. He said he would hook me up beyond believe this weekend with lsd and molly.

Fingered crossed%)%)%)
 
PepperSocks said:
That's really great man. :) I totally feel you on being with a very attractive woman and being worried about all the other guys in the world.

You have to remember though that if she loves you she won't go for them; her mind's on you. The jealousy thing and worrying about her around other guys can kill a relationship. Trust is where it's at.
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I definitely trust her completely, I just don't trust the drunken fucktards from hickville that are constantly trying to get with her lol. They're shady and testosterone driven.

Got my hands on some diazepam :) Love this shit lol
 
How often could one take benzodiazepines without getting tolerance? 2 times a week?
 
It is 6AM here, feel no desire to sleep, despite I took 0.75 mg of melatonin.
I had my first LSD trip today, I liked LSD a lot, it appears to be a perfect recreational psychedelic. What really surprised me is low visual to mental effects ratio.

Solipsis said:
It looks like how they printed things in the old days, but how long ago? And what sort of comic books should I be thinking of? Any help is extremely welcome, I'm working on some things myself. :)

jeroom1.jpg
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Google reverse image search seem to be promising, although may be irrelevant. Anyhow this new feature is really nice, especially when you can type keywords to narrow the search process.
 
Allium, glad you liked LSD, its one of my favorite substances. Yeah, it often has less visuals than others (I have way more visuals on mushrooms), but I love the crazy mental experience.
 
Glad to hear everyone is doing well! :)

Helped my friend and his uncle set up an above-ground pool, level out the yard of his camp with soil and lay sod, and tomorrow I'm helping them re-shingle the roof of his house, then mowed another friends massive lawn just before dark tonight, yay for doing stuff instead of sitting at home bored or skateboarding! :)

Really glad to see you posting again Uniter :)<3
 
Tar is quite....tarry (lol, not to be redundant, but ya'know some of it is pretty hard, this is total goo). Being as I have no tolerance to opiates at all right now and I have no idea the potency of this stuff, I'm taking it slowly (you can always take more, but you can't take less as the HR slogan goes). Imma get a good nod going within the hour I hope, but I don't wanna overdo it.

edit: almost through the bag (mixed snorting/vaped), not satisfied yet, seems to be on the weaker side I guess. At least the taste of the smoke is pleasant.
 
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^ Hey NKB, I was hoping I'd find you here, haha. :)

So, I gave it another shot, found myself a fairly sizable cigar, gave the head a nice clean cut, gently toasted the foot, and started slooowly milking the sucker. Hmm. A few minutes pass, not too much is going on. Gradually quicken the pace. I was determined to find out what tobacco was all about, and by the grand finale, I was just bathing in smoke like a damn indian chief, barely stopping for breath.

Smoked nearly the entire cigar to my face. And I can't really explain it, but I just couldn't seem to get anything out of the whole rigmarole! I swear, the most I felt was... a slight vertigo? And maybe a little bit of... confusion?

I really don't think tobacco and my neuroanatomy work together. Oh well. Maybe it's more of a social thing. I was just sitting and sort of meditating with it.
 
I sit and meditate, or my favorite thing is to smoke whilst reading a novel, take a good puff every page or two. Tobacco's probably just not your thing. What cigar did you smoke? (Though if you're in the mood to try anything more, grab a Padron, they're a medium-full bodied Nicaraguan with a peppery zing. They're my favs, the 1926 serie is what got me into cigars in the first place. I might have told you this already but I do not remember).
 
Nice, thanks for the recommendation! Will definitely keep that in mind.

TBH I've thrown out the wrapper now, and I can't remember what exactly I did smoke. :D I suppose I would've taken note if I enjoyed it particularly.

I've been thinking of ordering something from my favorite herbal vendor to make a nice, relaxing tea -- kratom perhaps. Have you had any experience with it?

Or kava kava.
 
I haven't tried kratom, and have only had the ineffective store bought kava, but I in sufficient quantities, I have heard they can both be quite effective. Kratom being an opioid and upperish high, and kava being delightfully GABAergic. So whatever floats your boat. I think some other PDers have some experience.

Personally the only herbal thing I'm interested in trying is properly prepared/boiled (unlike the other time i tried'em) amanitas muscaria, since muscimol is active at the GABA-A rho receptor (formally known as the GABA-C receptor). It is the shared receptor target of the GABAergic hallucinogens like the Z drugs, which I am rather susceptible to.

Also, done with the first bag, no nod, gonna do my other one (well not all at once, but I'm gonna crack it open after I smoke a cig). ALso also snorted H > smoked H, in this person's opinion.
 
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^ Yes, I'm very intrigued by the amanitas myself. The other herbal drug that I'm intent on exploring more is ayahuasca. :)

Definitely be sure to PM DwayneHoover if you go through with the amanitas -- he's done quite a bit of research, and apparently you've got to follow a very particular way of cooking them up to get the right effects, and to circumvent the nasty side-effects.
 
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