angelsmoke
Bluelighter
Aw, thanks very much for the nice posts guys. I did half expect to get flamed. But I guess I'm not the only people in the world who has felt/feels like this. It's nice to not be alone.
Yes, I've slept and eaten now, don't feel too rough physically now except for sore mouth and dizziness. Might have more naps this evening.
Heh - well, if I do move, I'm definitely going to move somewhere based as much on how much I'd like to live in the place as on the job. I moved to Cambridge only for the job, it was a mistake. I feel quite excited by the idea of moving somewhere new. But also scared.
You speak truth!!! On both points. I am in a bit of a rut. Before mugabe, I was a career-head making very fast progress up the ranks. When things got serious with mugabe I put my career on the backseat and prioritised 'us'. Now he has left and my career has just completely stalled.... I'm a bit lost as to what to prioritise, and I can't help feel that I failed at both. So yeah, rutty, and I'm not sure where to go from here.
But that aside, yes, #1 reason is stims are fuuuuuun. But yes, they're really destructive for some people, and I know I'm one of those people.
Edited to add - for mugabe's benefit since I expect he'll read this - I don't regret making him a priority - it was my choice and it was the right thing to do. I don't regret a single day that we spent together. And I think my mephedrone woes set me back at work more than anything else. I guess it's always unhealthy to pin your happiness on one thing, or one person.
Yes, I've slept and eaten now, don't feel too rough physically now except for sore mouth and dizziness. Might have more naps this evening.
ColtDan said:move to devon its beautiful down here
Heh - well, if I do move, I'm definitely going to move somewhere based as much on how much I'd like to live in the place as on the job. I moved to Cambridge only for the job, it was a mistake. I feel quite excited by the idea of moving somewhere new. But also scared.
ColtDan said:you have loads to live for, just sounds like your stuck in a quite a rut, much like myself. repetitive cycle of bullshit. find the motivation to make some changes... self improvement instead of self destruction i love stims as well, makes you feel so alive... its a shame they're so destructive. they make my emotions all over the place. lost count of the amount of times i said i was going to stop doing drugs, drinking so much and messing myself up... oh well fuck it, its fun at the time
You speak truth!!! On both points. I am in a bit of a rut. Before mugabe, I was a career-head making very fast progress up the ranks. When things got serious with mugabe I put my career on the backseat and prioritised 'us'. Now he has left and my career has just completely stalled.... I'm a bit lost as to what to prioritise, and I can't help feel that I failed at both. So yeah, rutty, and I'm not sure where to go from here.
But that aside, yes, #1 reason is stims are fuuuuuun. But yes, they're really destructive for some people, and I know I'm one of those people.
Edited to add - for mugabe's benefit since I expect he'll read this - I don't regret making him a priority - it was my choice and it was the right thing to do. I don't regret a single day that we spent together. And I think my mephedrone woes set me back at work more than anything else. I guess it's always unhealthy to pin your happiness on one thing, or one person.
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