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TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android
Bluelight makes me use more drugs!
- Thread starter ranunky
- Start date
I suspect this is quite common ranunky, you are definitely not alone in this pattern of behaviour.
Some people are motivated by Bluelight (and more specifically TDS) to stay clean, but others, as you are finding, can be triggered by the content to use drugs again.
Just like any other triggers in life, if you honestly think that BL is a trigger for you, maybe you should steer clear of this place during those times that you are aware of the increased risk of a relapse.
However, being clean is also about exercising your will power. There will always be triggers, everywhere you go. If you can channel your thoughts and any possible cravings in to more constructive behaviour, one day, hopefully, triggers won't be a problem for you. I think that is something all addicts can strive for.
Some people are motivated by Bluelight (and more specifically TDS) to stay clean, but others, as you are finding, can be triggered by the content to use drugs again.
Just like any other triggers in life, if you honestly think that BL is a trigger for you, maybe you should steer clear of this place during those times that you are aware of the increased risk of a relapse.
However, being clean is also about exercising your will power. There will always be triggers, everywhere you go. If you can channel your thoughts and any possible cravings in to more constructive behaviour, one day, hopefully, triggers won't be a problem for you. I think that is something all addicts can strive for.
suessmayr
Bluelighter
Well that's really up to you isn't it...?
I'm using this place more than ever before now that I'm getting clean.
S
I'm using this place more than ever before now that I'm getting clean.
S
Ds
Bluelight Crew
try telling yourself that you have no business in bluelights drug focus forum.
works for me
works for me
theartofwar
Bluelighter
month or so ago n3o suggested I take time off from TDS - was best advice I had been given. It's too easy to become apathetic and when you are fighting for a clean life and a chance their s no room for error. Do what wil benefit you the most. GOod luck.
anterrabae
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2007
- Messages
- 308
Well that does make sense, in that you don't need us here on TDS when you are clean and sober, not struggling with drugs.
I find TDS to be helpful, beyond helpful through all points in time, sober or not. Just brilliant advice, genuine emotional support, basically the type of kind help you hardly ever see in the 'real' world.
It's also a great place to socialize and meet new people, make connections with people in other countries you would otherwise not know at all.
I find TDS to be helpful, beyond helpful through all points in time, sober or not. Just brilliant advice, genuine emotional support, basically the type of kind help you hardly ever see in the 'real' world.
It's also a great place to socialize and meet new people, make connections with people in other countries you would otherwise not know at all.
CoffeeDrinker
Bluelighter
I actually find the opposite to happen strangely enough.
I'm too busy going out and scoring drugs, and selling them too, and that usually is an all-day-affair, but when I'm sober, like I am now, and have been for a few months, it's like I'm more drawn to this place because it's just something to do while I'm chillin at my house.
I've found the phrase "Drugs?... I can take 'em or leave 'em." to be quite helpful. Just try not to get hung up on anything and do your own thing.
What finally got me sober, and it feels different than any of the other times I've tried quitting, was the fact that I hated that I basically needed to associate with scummier and scummier people the more prices rose for opiates because the people with the good hook-ups could still get stuff for a decent price, but they always seemed to be running some angle, or some fucked up shit. Those dudes who spend all day every day just chasing down the best deal for the most useless, soul-crushing, thing in the world, I can't stand to be around anymore, not even for a minute.
I was into so many beautiful things, and I haven't found any dealers or middle-men in Rochester that were into anything beautiful, really. Sure some may pay some lip-service here or there to some cliche hippie ideals, but they're all the same scumbags at the end of the day, just looking to save a few bucks here and there, fuck over who they can, and just keep noddin' about through life.
"Put the poison in your body just to pass out quicka"
Fuck that!
I'd recommend avoiding "drug culture" or "other drugs" like the plague, if I was you, and any trip reports dealing with your DOC.
Second opinion, sex love relationships, the healthy living, and all other non-drug related forums are pretty good outlets to talk about whatever random thing's on your mind. I'd try those, and they're not allowed to contain drug discussions at all, so it shouldn't be a trigger.
I'm too busy going out and scoring drugs, and selling them too, and that usually is an all-day-affair, but when I'm sober, like I am now, and have been for a few months, it's like I'm more drawn to this place because it's just something to do while I'm chillin at my house.
I've found the phrase "Drugs?... I can take 'em or leave 'em." to be quite helpful. Just try not to get hung up on anything and do your own thing.
What finally got me sober, and it feels different than any of the other times I've tried quitting, was the fact that I hated that I basically needed to associate with scummier and scummier people the more prices rose for opiates because the people with the good hook-ups could still get stuff for a decent price, but they always seemed to be running some angle, or some fucked up shit. Those dudes who spend all day every day just chasing down the best deal for the most useless, soul-crushing, thing in the world, I can't stand to be around anymore, not even for a minute.
I was into so many beautiful things, and I haven't found any dealers or middle-men in Rochester that were into anything beautiful, really. Sure some may pay some lip-service here or there to some cliche hippie ideals, but they're all the same scumbags at the end of the day, just looking to save a few bucks here and there, fuck over who they can, and just keep noddin' about through life.
"Put the poison in your body just to pass out quicka"
Fuck that!
I'd recommend avoiding "drug culture" or "other drugs" like the plague, if I was you, and any trip reports dealing with your DOC.
Second opinion, sex love relationships, the healthy living, and all other non-drug related forums are pretty good outlets to talk about whatever random thing's on your mind. I'd try those, and they're not allowed to contain drug discussions at all, so it shouldn't be a trigger.
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TheLostBoys
Bluelighter
I like this forum, whether it influences me to to drugs or not, its my choice & no one is forcing me to do it. Its like going on redtube.com, try going over there & watching some porn, dont blame them if you end up masturbating(not that its a bad thing).......not saying you're blaming bluelight for your drug use but you get my point.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
I'm sure BL is not good for everyone.
If someone feels BL is a drawing them towards or a trigger to behaviors that undermine their well being I'd personally wish they not visit anymore while wishing them the very best. It is complicated. Even though BL is about using as safely as possible or in TDS maybe ceasing to use, BL is always going to include some info about using. For all kinds of reasons I can picture that choosing not to visit BL could be a persons best choice, said while still believing BL to be a very great thing for a great many people.
If someone feels BL is a drawing them towards or a trigger to behaviors that undermine their well being I'd personally wish they not visit anymore while wishing them the very best. It is complicated. Even though BL is about using as safely as possible or in TDS maybe ceasing to use, BL is always going to include some info about using. For all kinds of reasons I can picture that choosing not to visit BL could be a persons best choice, said while still believing BL to be a very great thing for a great many people.
jamesmartin
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2009
- Messages
- 1,800
Haha same lol .
When I was 16 and getting into weed you could almost say this site was my gateway too trying harder drugs .
None of my friends wanted too do them at that age or even now !
But I remember back in the day I always used too read the trip reports and be like "man I wanna do that! It sounds awsome "
but 3-4 years later I don't get that desire .
I Hardly ever do hard drugs now.
Weed all the way
When I was 16 and getting into weed you could almost say this site was my gateway too trying harder drugs .
None of my friends wanted too do them at that age or even now !
But I remember back in the day I always used too read the trip reports and be like "man I wanna do that! It sounds awsome "
but 3-4 years later I don't get that desire .
I Hardly ever do hard drugs now.
Weed all the way
donnie080208
Bluelighter
I sort of agree with the OP but what would you be doing if not on BL, what then, if you still use drugs. Just excuses imo, i like most people im guessing, used hard drugs because i feel bad about myself, sober or not , with my anxiety going outside can be a trigger. I used to snap ends off needles when high then have to trek to get more as these in the house i felt were triggers, utter madness.
If your sobriety is that fragile , as to be effected by a website , its hardly worth having imo.
If your sobriety is that fragile , as to be effected by a website , its hardly worth having imo.
Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
This has been my experience too. I have been off of heroin the entire time while on Bluelight.
I think that it makes sense to get on Bluelight when you plan on using drugs, this way you can look up any/all relevant harm reduction information.
NeighborhoodThreat
Bluelight Crew
Pretty much sums up what I was going to post. Bluelight (and for sure the drug-focused forums) can be triggers.
There's no shame in taking a break from BL if you think it's triggering you. Find what works best for you.
bicyclerace
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2011
- Messages
- 13
I agree with you but I am curious about your premise. I find that bluelight and other drug related boards like erowodid(sp?) encourage me to increase my dosages- sometimes to not so healthy levels.
At this point in my life I don't find the need to experiment with other substances. I am just not interested.
Ds
Bluelight Crew
hope i can say the same someday.
PendulumAM
Bluelighter
Whats weird is that its the opposite for me. When I would be using heroin, I would barely go on the computer at all, let alone bluelight. Maybe its because I felt content enough not to need the extra entertainment of the internet, maybe its because when I was using, I was always using with other people such as my ex boyfriend and therefore always had company. When I'm clean, like now, I'm bored as hell and have no one to talk to because everyone I used with (and hung out with) is still using or in jail. So I need something to do, and people to talk to about my experiences, and I come here.
So maybe you come here for the social experience because when you are about to relapse, you feel upset and/or lonely? I come here when I am bored and have no one to talk to, is that how you are feeling right before you go back into drugs?
So maybe you come here for the social experience because when you are about to relapse, you feel upset and/or lonely? I come here when I am bored and have no one to talk to, is that how you are feeling right before you go back into drugs?
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
Threads that are about dick sizing or topping other peoples stories of extreme use are often closed in both focus forums as well as more social forums. There is some celebration or romanticizing of drug use on BL but I've seen it as constantly kept in check.
If one is longing to use or to kindle anticipatory feelings about drug use Bluelight will always have material that can aid in increasing one's excitement. I had an AA sponsor once who told me no one gets sober until they have experienced so much misery that they would eat a rock to stay sober.
I know there are solidly commited sober/clean people on Bluelight. TDS mods are by my observation very committed to minimizing material that is likely triggering to a good portion of people seeking to be past drug use. None of that work can alter an individuals reasons for looking around Bluelight. If one is seeking arousal of drug craving Bluelight will always be very fertile grounds.
Even looking at ways to minimize BL as a trigger I can not fathom a way it could happen while staying committed to a HR model that assumes many people are going to use regardless but still need good information regarding maximizing safety.
If one is longing to use or to kindle anticipatory feelings about drug use Bluelight will always have material that can aid in increasing one's excitement. I had an AA sponsor once who told me no one gets sober until they have experienced so much misery that they would eat a rock to stay sober.
I know there are solidly commited sober/clean people on Bluelight. TDS mods are by my observation very committed to minimizing material that is likely triggering to a good portion of people seeking to be past drug use. None of that work can alter an individuals reasons for looking around Bluelight. If one is seeking arousal of drug craving Bluelight will always be very fertile grounds.
Even looking at ways to minimize BL as a trigger I can not fathom a way it could happen while staying committed to a HR model that assumes many people are going to use regardless but still need good information regarding maximizing safety.