About Me.
I'm in my v early 20's and I'm not much of a user, often thinking about harder drugs though my experience doesn't extend beyond the occasional joint, which just gives me giggles, once a line of coke that made my nose numb and as of Tuesday, MDMA - which I think I'll call my first "experience", I know it's a bit of an essay so feel free to skip down to “the high” part, and if you’re a big homophobe, maybe steer clear because we did get a bit loved up.
The Setup.
With a few days left on my car lease (this gorgeous Audi that was becoming part of my soul), I decided to visit an old friend of mine, Tess who I’ve known my entire life and who was home from Uni (I’ve been super close with family for years).
Tess is a recreational user, nothing hard. If she's in the mood she'll pick up an eighth or some MDMA or whatever is going around to contribute to her overall wellbeing, she was a rebellious teenager and she'll try anything once. Though less of the bud now as she’s trying to slim down, not that she needs to, she’s all curves and guys love her.
We joke about drugs and she says that she in fact has some MDMA, crystals, ‘and it's good!’ She shows me these two surprisingly small baggies with what looks a tiny bit of sand or posh sugar; minute amber-ish rocks.
“it's usually just clear” she says, shocked to hear I’ve never done it before. She feels it's her duty to hand it over, if I was willing.
As a professional writer, I consider it my duty in life to say yes to new experiences, killing, suicide and armed robbery being the exceptions, jail time too if poss. So I decide to stay the night just her and her 18yo brother Ted, who, despite his age is just starting to explore his dark side, he and I have been close for a while now. Having bought some booze we start the evening early. Ted wants to try new things (not just beer, vodka etc), so we start with a little Absinth (I like how, neat, it evaporates off my tongue but word to the wise, don’t mix it with anything)… then a few Jaeger bombs for Ted before we move to my old friend; tequila slammers.
Tess fetches the MDMA from her room and sprinkles a few crystals into my shot.
"It won’t really dissolve" she says, trying to stir it in with a small fork. Ted sees it and has to have some.
“I’ll pay you” he insists, but no need, she loves her brother and is happy to add few wacky hundreds-and-thousands into his glass too.
“it’ll take at least an hour to kick in” she explains as we shoot the tequila in eager anticipation, licking out the incredibly bitter dregs from the bottom of the glass.
“I wish we were going out, then you’d really appreciate it” she adds.
The high.
After an hour of general chilling and little else, I was starting to get tired. Ted demands we both need more. She hands us a little extra, insisting we’ve had enough. I’m searching for feelings, I know it’s getting to that time. I was told that the come-up was ‘quite speedy’, but all I think I can feel is a little drunk, I notice that I’m no longer tired, actually I’m wide awake and Ted is now quite chatty – amped (been reading lots of Meth stories). He’s louder than me and talking non-stop and I’m worried I’ve not taken enough.
I take a breath to speak and my whole head shudders, starting at my brain and rolling down my spine, Goosebumps erupt over my body, a numbness...tingling...warm air...floating...bobbing...gentle feeling of all round awesomeness hits me like a warm flesh brick and I let out a large involuntary sigh of appreciation, Tess looks at me and laughs.
“Good…?” she smiles, “…I know.”
A little later and Ted and I are bouncing around the kitchen, laughing at talking, when he’s not telling me he loves me (and his sister for making him feel so good) he’s teaching me how to dance, and we shimmy about in the kitchen (I’m the woman and apparently his bitch who he’d fuck if I didn’t behave).
“I’m not gay, but…well, just…fuck it, I feel so good. I love you”.
I was surprised at the potential for mellowness, or at least a semi-mellow I could experience while on it, though Tess told me later I was just as amped as Ted.
I’m experiencing tremendous clarity, my thoughts are neat and tidy, my lack of verbosity I think is down to my raging internal dialogue as I try to describe what I feel. Now (I think), it feels like someone has opened a small hatch at the top of my head and is pouring coca-cola through, I feel it surround my brain and drip down through my body, the bubbles fizzing and popping and making my body hum.
“Take a look at your pupils”, Tess tells us and I stare at Ted, FREAKED OUT (in a good way). I expected them to be big but they were crazy big. I look in a mirror; I have no iris’ – I look like a cartoon.
It was like a reverse drunk – similar in experience, but totally different at the same time, a body feeling, but without any of the nausea that I so often get from drinking.
The more I move, the less I feel the incredible euphoria but it comes back and goes again like waves, each time stronger than the last, now a small mental shiver of gratitude as my synapses are overloaded, leaving me in an incredible sort-of post-orgasm high of goodness and love and warmth, like having a crush on someone and knowing they feel the same, I feel like I’m standing in pure sunshine, with a coat hanger in my mouth, I can’t stop smiling – I tilt my head back and close my eyes.
Mid-dance Ted and I begin sharing deep dark secrets, touching and rubbing the fabric of each others jeans and grinding, it feels incredible, Tess joins in and it all becomes a little incestuous and wrong but it feels great and I really don’t care because I love him, and MDMA and Tess, and fuck it, it feels so good.
I want to do something and keen to get out of the house, Ted and I go for a walk, it’s cold but we don’t feel it, wet, but we don’t care. We stumble around a deserted park, doing weird things that mostly involve getting naked and more touching, not sexual so much but a desire to share more about each other… We lie on the ground together for what feels like five minutes but ended up being hours, just talking crap and touching various things, rolling around and sharing secrets and stories and occasionally (look away now gay-bashers) kissing all over.
What Tess calls ‘pilly-willy’, didn’t seem to be an issue and we both got the odd hardon now and then, though it was never fully hard.
Suddenly it’s cold and we’re both thirsty as fuck…luckily there’s a pond nearby but on second or maybe third thoughts and a brief dip of our toes, we decide to head back for proper water, putting on various clothes and sloshing back through the wet grass to the house where we decide it would be an excellent idea to share a bed.
We get back and drink, from what seems like an annoyingly small glass, neither of us really drink that much before lying down again and spooning.
I still feel great, but each wave is a little shorter, and what is still a wonderful brain high euphoria now comes with a little dizziness, Ted and I lie and talk for a hours, curled up in each others arms, our legs entwined in a sweaty knot, each touch electric, gently rubbing. We both agree it feels like the best, pausing occasionally to get more water.
I’m lacking neither sex or romance in my life but this was above all of that, or so it seemed and with each blink the sky seems to turn a lighter shade of blue, I think I manage to nod off for a few seconds before I realise it’s 7am and I’m definitely no longer high and Neither is Ted, though we’re still both touching and not embarrassed about it. We get up, have breakfast and shortly return to bed where I take a thirty minute-four hour, nap and Ted lies next to me watches movies on my ipad. I wake up feeling exhausted and starving.
Retrospective.
I say my goodbyes that afternoon as Ted tucks himself into bed (for a nap that lasts 15 hours and drive myself home, enjoying my boldness and looking forward to my next experience. I didn't sleep much that night.
Today (the day after the day after) is business as usual and I’m feeling blue, which is strange because I’m usually quite happy. It’s worth noting that my house-mates currently hate each other and so my place is horrendous to live and I’m now car-less, so long
, so it’s a bit of a leap from a few days of excellence and maybe unrelated.
Ted and I have made loose plans to try all this again, his actual words were “I’ll suck your dick if…” and earlier today I really wanted pick up some more, though as the day winds on my yearning for the euphoria has decreased, to almost nothing, equally I feel less blue and I’m not sure if it’s the MDMA I crave or the feeling of love and closeness that it gave me, A closeness I think is possibly cultivated through a good friendship and just coerced by Mandy into a gentle little threesome.
Having said that it’s undoubtedly a new favorite and while I won’t be doing it every day, or even every month I’m sure it’ll make another appearance.
I'm in my v early 20's and I'm not much of a user, often thinking about harder drugs though my experience doesn't extend beyond the occasional joint, which just gives me giggles, once a line of coke that made my nose numb and as of Tuesday, MDMA - which I think I'll call my first "experience", I know it's a bit of an essay so feel free to skip down to “the high” part, and if you’re a big homophobe, maybe steer clear because we did get a bit loved up.
The Setup.
With a few days left on my car lease (this gorgeous Audi that was becoming part of my soul), I decided to visit an old friend of mine, Tess who I’ve known my entire life and who was home from Uni (I’ve been super close with family for years).
Tess is a recreational user, nothing hard. If she's in the mood she'll pick up an eighth or some MDMA or whatever is going around to contribute to her overall wellbeing, she was a rebellious teenager and she'll try anything once. Though less of the bud now as she’s trying to slim down, not that she needs to, she’s all curves and guys love her.
We joke about drugs and she says that she in fact has some MDMA, crystals, ‘and it's good!’ She shows me these two surprisingly small baggies with what looks a tiny bit of sand or posh sugar; minute amber-ish rocks.
“it's usually just clear” she says, shocked to hear I’ve never done it before. She feels it's her duty to hand it over, if I was willing.
As a professional writer, I consider it my duty in life to say yes to new experiences, killing, suicide and armed robbery being the exceptions, jail time too if poss. So I decide to stay the night just her and her 18yo brother Ted, who, despite his age is just starting to explore his dark side, he and I have been close for a while now. Having bought some booze we start the evening early. Ted wants to try new things (not just beer, vodka etc), so we start with a little Absinth (I like how, neat, it evaporates off my tongue but word to the wise, don’t mix it with anything)… then a few Jaeger bombs for Ted before we move to my old friend; tequila slammers.
Tess fetches the MDMA from her room and sprinkles a few crystals into my shot.
"It won’t really dissolve" she says, trying to stir it in with a small fork. Ted sees it and has to have some.
“I’ll pay you” he insists, but no need, she loves her brother and is happy to add few wacky hundreds-and-thousands into his glass too.
“it’ll take at least an hour to kick in” she explains as we shoot the tequila in eager anticipation, licking out the incredibly bitter dregs from the bottom of the glass.
“I wish we were going out, then you’d really appreciate it” she adds.
The high.
After an hour of general chilling and little else, I was starting to get tired. Ted demands we both need more. She hands us a little extra, insisting we’ve had enough. I’m searching for feelings, I know it’s getting to that time. I was told that the come-up was ‘quite speedy’, but all I think I can feel is a little drunk, I notice that I’m no longer tired, actually I’m wide awake and Ted is now quite chatty – amped (been reading lots of Meth stories). He’s louder than me and talking non-stop and I’m worried I’ve not taken enough.
I take a breath to speak and my whole head shudders, starting at my brain and rolling down my spine, Goosebumps erupt over my body, a numbness...tingling...warm air...floating...bobbing...gentle feeling of all round awesomeness hits me like a warm flesh brick and I let out a large involuntary sigh of appreciation, Tess looks at me and laughs.
“Good…?” she smiles, “…I know.”
A little later and Ted and I are bouncing around the kitchen, laughing at talking, when he’s not telling me he loves me (and his sister for making him feel so good) he’s teaching me how to dance, and we shimmy about in the kitchen (I’m the woman and apparently his bitch who he’d fuck if I didn’t behave).
“I’m not gay, but…well, just…fuck it, I feel so good. I love you”.
I was surprised at the potential for mellowness, or at least a semi-mellow I could experience while on it, though Tess told me later I was just as amped as Ted.
I’m experiencing tremendous clarity, my thoughts are neat and tidy, my lack of verbosity I think is down to my raging internal dialogue as I try to describe what I feel. Now (I think), it feels like someone has opened a small hatch at the top of my head and is pouring coca-cola through, I feel it surround my brain and drip down through my body, the bubbles fizzing and popping and making my body hum.
“Take a look at your pupils”, Tess tells us and I stare at Ted, FREAKED OUT (in a good way). I expected them to be big but they were crazy big. I look in a mirror; I have no iris’ – I look like a cartoon.
It was like a reverse drunk – similar in experience, but totally different at the same time, a body feeling, but without any of the nausea that I so often get from drinking.
The more I move, the less I feel the incredible euphoria but it comes back and goes again like waves, each time stronger than the last, now a small mental shiver of gratitude as my synapses are overloaded, leaving me in an incredible sort-of post-orgasm high of goodness and love and warmth, like having a crush on someone and knowing they feel the same, I feel like I’m standing in pure sunshine, with a coat hanger in my mouth, I can’t stop smiling – I tilt my head back and close my eyes.
Mid-dance Ted and I begin sharing deep dark secrets, touching and rubbing the fabric of each others jeans and grinding, it feels incredible, Tess joins in and it all becomes a little incestuous and wrong but it feels great and I really don’t care because I love him, and MDMA and Tess, and fuck it, it feels so good.
I want to do something and keen to get out of the house, Ted and I go for a walk, it’s cold but we don’t feel it, wet, but we don’t care. We stumble around a deserted park, doing weird things that mostly involve getting naked and more touching, not sexual so much but a desire to share more about each other… We lie on the ground together for what feels like five minutes but ended up being hours, just talking crap and touching various things, rolling around and sharing secrets and stories and occasionally (look away now gay-bashers) kissing all over.
What Tess calls ‘pilly-willy’, didn’t seem to be an issue and we both got the odd hardon now and then, though it was never fully hard.
Suddenly it’s cold and we’re both thirsty as fuck…luckily there’s a pond nearby but on second or maybe third thoughts and a brief dip of our toes, we decide to head back for proper water, putting on various clothes and sloshing back through the wet grass to the house where we decide it would be an excellent idea to share a bed.
We get back and drink, from what seems like an annoyingly small glass, neither of us really drink that much before lying down again and spooning.
I still feel great, but each wave is a little shorter, and what is still a wonderful brain high euphoria now comes with a little dizziness, Ted and I lie and talk for a hours, curled up in each others arms, our legs entwined in a sweaty knot, each touch electric, gently rubbing. We both agree it feels like the best, pausing occasionally to get more water.
I’m lacking neither sex or romance in my life but this was above all of that, or so it seemed and with each blink the sky seems to turn a lighter shade of blue, I think I manage to nod off for a few seconds before I realise it’s 7am and I’m definitely no longer high and Neither is Ted, though we’re still both touching and not embarrassed about it. We get up, have breakfast and shortly return to bed where I take a thirty minute-four hour, nap and Ted lies next to me watches movies on my ipad. I wake up feeling exhausted and starving.
Retrospective.
I say my goodbyes that afternoon as Ted tucks himself into bed (for a nap that lasts 15 hours and drive myself home, enjoying my boldness and looking forward to my next experience. I didn't sleep much that night.
Today (the day after the day after) is business as usual and I’m feeling blue, which is strange because I’m usually quite happy. It’s worth noting that my house-mates currently hate each other and so my place is horrendous to live and I’m now car-less, so long
, so it’s a bit of a leap from a few days of excellence and maybe unrelated.Ted and I have made loose plans to try all this again, his actual words were “I’ll suck your dick if…” and earlier today I really wanted pick up some more, though as the day winds on my yearning for the euphoria has decreased, to almost nothing, equally I feel less blue and I’m not sure if it’s the MDMA I crave or the feeling of love and closeness that it gave me, A closeness I think is possibly cultivated through a good friendship and just coerced by Mandy into a gentle little threesome.
Having said that it’s undoubtedly a new favorite and while I won’t be doing it every day, or even every month I’m sure it’ll make another appearance.
- Give it at least a month before you try the experience again and if you have the chance, try a nightclub setting :0. 
