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Anxiety and Ecstasy

A few things...

FBC - nice post, honestly. You are right about people forgetting how seriously the first few months are after MDMA abuse.. I know that it wasn't a walk in the park for me but I tend to downplay how it was because I abused MDMA very heavily.

Having said that, the thing that I regret when I was getting head pressures and some anxiety during this period was that I thought about it too much. The minute I stopped thinking about it and realized that everything will be restored back to normal, everything seemed to get better. (Which is why I personally don't think the effects are as serious as they are said to be.

Xanax is NOT the answer. Xanax is what I used after comedowns from MDMA and ended up developing a habit from them which didn't end well. Xanax was also the cause for my anxiety disorder that I developed, but it really wasn't legit anxiety at all, just "rebound anxiety" that you get when you take Xanax all of the time, then get anxious when not on it.

You will not be experiencing this for a year, because I have read your other posts and it doesn't seem that you have abused MDMA THAT much. I also don't believe ONE pill could do all of this to you. I hope I'm not pissing you off by telling you that I believe a large majority of this is in your head, as was the case with me. People have the tendency to make things much worse than they already are when it is stuck in their head all day, and judging by how many of the same posts you have made, its clearly stuck in your head ALL DAY.....

THINGS WILL GET BETTER.... and soon. I promise you that. For now STOP making posts about this, all it does is make you think about it more, put people's opinions in your head who are NOT doctors, and honestly just take up space on the website with information that has already been told to you now like three different times. Take care buddy and PM me if you would like.
 
The only reason I believe it's mostly in his head is because he doesn't seem to have abused MDMA, he got piped. However, that doesn't make the anxiety less real.
 
The 'feud' has come to an end, thanks to Socalthizzn, our ED mod.

Master Splinter just wants my attention.
That's fine, because it is already obvious that information is quite helpful to this OP. If you want more information about MDMA anxiety, it is easily found in Splinter's history...

No, I have not attended medical school.
I have studied MDMA research for 6 months, digesting hundreds of documents.
There is a LOT of it out there.

Chitown - thanks for the response.
I really do appreciate your contribution.

I must also say that when I found out you recovered from LONG-term benzo abuse, you earned massive respect from me. My time on BL has taught me that few drugs parallel the damage that benzos can do to a persons emotions and spirit. Some posts from former benzo users make MDMA recovery sound like a brief walk in the park!

I hope the OP pays attention to our warnings.
Benzos are GREAT for one-time or occasional use.
They have a remarkable property of targeting ONLY the brain - it has no interaction with other organs, so it is safe under typically risky conditions.
But long-term use MUST be avoided, at all costs.

I also like your belief that it won't take a year for this OP.
I hope you are right. He may have been piped, which complicates the timeline.
But it is best to encourage optimism.

Avoiding the recurring thought patterns can be nearly impossible, especially in the first few months. There is a constant release of cortisol and adrenaline fueling this process.

I found that leaving the house or visiting a friend, even if I did nothing when I got there, made a big difference. Simply changing your environment can help.
Forcing yourself to interact with other people is even better.

Taking SSRIs is risky, as they can cause down-regulation on their own.
They can also be beneficial, because they provide serotonin to starved regions of the brain. My argument is simple - these areas need to starve because this drives the re-innervation process.

A neurologist with MDMA experience will not typically prescribe SSRIs.
A dopamine agent, such as Wellbutrin, may work better for you.
I suggest trying Piracetam and choline FIRST.

The Piracetam makes neurotransmitters flow much more easily, but it doesn't have an affinity for the receptors. This should translate to less risk - but even this I feel is stalling the inevitable. The re-wiring process can be ameliorated, or even stopped, but should it be?

I may not be a doctor, but I have learned from the work of many...
These are not just ideas I present. These are the basics that have been determined by the medical community. Much of what I present is not only backed up by research, but it correlates with many anecdotal reports/symptoms.

The best thing a doctor can offer this OP is an fMRI or SPECT scan.
Only using these tools, can a doctor learn any information about the OP's brain. For example, Serotonin Transporter Binding is known to be a predictor of length of recovery. Once binding reaches normal levels, most patients report recovery. It can be difficult to estimate a timeline, even with this information. Repeated scans are needed, and they cost as much as $4,000 each.

Scans reveal indirect and limited information, so they are not always offered.
Thizzin, be careful with these SSRIs. It is your responsibility to decide what is best for your brain - not me, and not some doctor.

If you decide to discontinue, you need to taper off slowly.
You should also expect a dramatic worsening of your symptoms, even if tapering.
This process is meant to be very difficult, so medicating your way out of it should be considered very carefully...
 
Many have given great advice on what you can do. If you do take 5-HTP (which I agree is very helpful, as it helps restore serotonin by providing your brain with the building blocks) please keep in mind that long-term use of this can deplete dopamine levels, so you'll want to take a dopamine precursor supplement alongside it, namely L-DOPA.

Other than that, I wish you the best. I have suffered from anxiety and things like that, but not as the product of drug use, so I don't have any specific advice that could help you more than anything anyone else has said. My only wish is that you perhaps should choose to not attribute this to MDMA use, as you said this didn't start until you took a pill that contained either pipes or meth, which may have been marketed as ecstasy but are not the chemical MDMA. In that vein, make sure your doctors understand that what you took was probably not MDMA and instead something else (if you haven't already), that may help them to better help you.

I really hope that things improve for you soon. Try not to condemn yourself to brain damage, and instead do what you can to get yourself physically healthy so that your mental health can also follow. Best of luck!
 
is it possible to have anxiety the majority of the day?

it seems that way for me, like at any moment I could go crazy, or if anything changes with my body like my ears feeling weird because I have inner ear problems, it will sometimes set off a panic, or if my vision fuckes up for a few seconds, for example sometimes i will zone out and my eyes feel like they are shaking, ill freak out.

every little thing sets me off :/ even if i take a benzo ill still have an increased heart rate :/
 
from what i read online, anxiety seems to be something that just comes and goes, but often for me, it feels like im struggling not to think about my problems and they are just waiting in the back of my head, ready to be let out.

also, for a split few seconds that I do start feeling a little good, in my mind ill go, "woah thats weird, im actually feeling decent right now" then seconds later, i snap back into my old state.
 
Much of this is a cycle, as I said in my PM.
It just goes on and on and on.

There is an ebb and flow to the suffering, but I definitely remember when there was a constant background noise. It would antagonize me for hours or DAYS on end.

Eventually, it does reach a peak, or a crescendo.
When this happens, I encourage you to embrace the heightened suffering, because this is what re-innervation is all about.

When I say embrace, I mean you should be glad that the peak is finally there.
That cycle is about to reach its conclusion. Yes, another will begin after it is done, but in between you can find a respite.

When you just can't take it anymore, allow yourself to freak out. Cry and scream at the top of your lungs, bro. Buy a punching bag and wail on it! Break some shit, seriously. Let the rage out! If you don't perceive the emotion of anger during this process, you need to create it. Anger is one of the most healing emotions you have!

Just warn your family/friends before-hand...

If you can involve some form of exercise or physical activity at the height of your suffering, you will make more progress than you think. Remember the BDNF - it will cause a bunch of axons to POP up. You might collapse and feel light headed for a long time, but afterwards you will feel different, in a very good way...

The benzo is deadening your anger and emotions.
It is cheating you of the progress your brain is attempting to accomplish.
Unleash the beast, bro.
Let it happen.

If you have been taking the benzos regularly, taper off that shit.
Don't go cold-turkey, for the love of God...
I couldn't even imagine what that would be like.
Even if you taper, you should expect some fireworks.

Good luck.
 
I agree with First Bad Comedown, its really hard not to think about what you may have done to your brain, because I sure did, but you have to realize that not many (if any at all) suffer from MDMA side effects forever... and I would say considering the amount you've taken, you have a 100% chance at a full recovery in a few months. Keep yourself busy! He is right, getting out there and doing things will take your mind off of wondering how much damage you have done, especially when the amount is probably nothing at all. :).

Yes FBC, I just beat a pretty bad benzo addiction that started when I was 17. It really escalated in the last 9 months of my use when I was taking around 20 mgs at a time, but this leads me to my point. Benzos feel great. The OP may be taking 1-2 mgs right now, maybe less, but tolerance builds so quickly with benzodiazepines! They are so unpredictable that there is no possible way you can sit there and honestly say you know you will stay taking a low dose forever. Benzos change you as a person, and IMO and IME, you need to get away from that shit ASAP! Doctors should not be prescribing this medicine knowing the dangers, and dolling it out like candy creating the belief that it is a "safe" drug. It is not safe, I've seen it destroy the lives of many, including mine for a long while. FBC- this is possibly some of the reason why I downplay the negative effects of MDMA... benzo withdrawal is HELL.

I quit benzos cold turkey after taking the above mentioned amounts for MONTHS. I was having full out hallucinations and almost had a heart attack, somehow I didn't seizure. My resting heart rate was 140 bpm while laying in a hospital bed.... scary stuff.

Check this one out, it's not Xanax, but another benzo that IMO is weaker.... http://www.thefix.com/content/worlds-most-dangerous-drug
 
@ thizzin' I only rolled 5 times in my life and had major problems after my usage. It could have been that i didn't take enough break time between each roll or that i did on average 3 pills each time. If you have a higher pill count i would image you to be worse of than me.
When i had anxiety at my peak i was an all day thing mixed with d/p and d/r.
The only way to get better is to eat healthy, exercise, and time.
I'd suggest against taking 5 htp because it can increase anxiety.
I also didn't take any ssri's i believe it to be better for recovery but if it's doctor prescribed then of course take them.
 
Chitown -

That is crazy.

On the first night of my 'comedown', 3 days after my last MDMA exposure, I too felt a 'heart-attack' was imminent. This is a common feature of Serotonin Syndrome...
I'm sure if I had been in poor health, it would have been a real possibility.

Consider your age and fitness level a real asset in the night in question.
I can't believe you got through it.
It is harder than most people can imagine...

You should be proud of yourself, even if nobody else understands.
Jumping off the benzo train required a lot of bravery and resolve!
 
Splinter's Thoughts (With MasterSplinter)

I wood recommendation stayin away from all benzo's if you have anxiety issues...it will only slow things down in the long run.

Plus if your usin em religiously it can take a very long time to taper off...If you dont taper off then your anxiety will cause insomnia and extreme physical and mental issues...

Dont put yourself at that point bro. Trust me, its better to be all that you can be.

Best Bet:

Go for a run...hang out with friends...fuck something...eat all the colors of the natural food rainbow...exercise....read a book....

ANYTHING to keep your mind off of the anxiety....get into a healthy routine and your brain will adapt into a recovery. No one is sayin that this type of re-animimation is easy, but goin on benzo's will only mask the problem.

It aint worth it.

Grab a six pack of Bud Light and a dank bag of medical herbs from your local dispenserie.

Im pretty sure they have a weed called MasterSplinter now...I know for sure they have Yoda and Skywalker. Any weed named after a star wars character is good for anxiety.

TRUST.

-Splinter
 
I find that I get the axiety I get on the comedown if I take a little too much. Try lowering your dosage a little bit, and keep those benzos handy if you need to sleep or get any panic attacks on the comedown. Just my .02.
 
Well i'm sorry everyone disagreed with what i had to say, it was just getting to the point for me that we had all answered this question so many times and said "see your family doctor" and thread after thread was getting deleted and re-posted with the same suggested solutions.

I'm not trying to be a dick, just suggesting that your family doctor (if a good one) willl be able to recommend the appropriate medical steps without giving you an Rx unless absolutely needed.

Benzos are great for a few days but man if you feel like this an develop a benzo addiction, you're REALLY not going to be happy.

I've had a similar experience (actually experiences) after coke use where i felt i was going to have a heart attack at any moment for a few weeks on end. I had panic attacks and almost passed out/fainted randomly anywhere.

My heart would pound/race and i would feel like pins and needles were shooting through my chest (on the left side).

Despite every doctor visit they told me my EKG/ECG was fine, nothing was wrong with my heart, and i wasnt going to die.

It was just mental, and it went away.

MDMA abuse is something that can give you pretty long lasting side effects and there are huge reports on why not to take an SSRI while taking MDMA ( this includes St. Johns Wort)

read up on those, i believe these folks have been more than helpful in answering your question:

i just got frustrated because it seemed very much like you were looking for someone to tell you something like "take supplement a and wake up tomorrow feeling normal!" when everyone had repeatedly said this would take time and to see your doctor.

You're going to recover, it will take time. Enjoy your life as best you can and try to find things to laugh about or relax with. I hid out at home for weeks because i thought i would have a heart attack if i overstimulated myself, and it turned out hanging with friends and getting my mind off it (even temporarily, cause it would come back) was the only real thing that helped.
 
Benzos, SSRI's, or other supplements are not going to help. Even if you do get on an SSRI and you feel its helping.. what have you done besides gotten hooked on a medication that you don't actually need. Once the negative effects of the MDMA have gone away, after a few months, you will be stuck on an SSRI that is not really necessary. There are plenty of negative effects of taking SSRI's and you don't want to substitute one thing for the other.
 
waketheeffup said:
Well i'm sorry everyone disagreed with what i had to say, it was just getting to the point for me that we had all answered this question so many times and said "see your family doctor" and thread after thread was getting deleted and re-posted with the same suggested solutions.

I'm not trying to be a dick, just suggesting that your family doctor (if a good one) willl be able to recommend the appropriate medical steps without giving you an Rx unless absolutely needed.

Benzos are great for a few days but man if you feel like this an develop a benzo addiction, you're REALLY not going to be happy.

I've had a similar experience (actually experiences) after coke use where i felt i was going to have a heart attack at any moment for a few weeks on end. I had panic attacks and almost passed out/fainted randomly anywhere.

My heart would pound/race and i would feel like pins and needles were shooting through my chest (on the left side).

Despite every doctor visit they told me my EKG/ECG was fine, nothing was wrong with my heart, and i wasnt going to die.

It was just mental, and it went away.

MDMA abuse is something that can give you pretty long lasting side effects and there are huge reports on why not to take an SSRI while taking MDMA ( this includes St. Johns Wort)

read up on those, i believe these folks have been more than helpful in answering your question:

i just got frustrated because it seemed very much like you were looking for someone to tell you something like "take supplement a and wake up tomorrow feeling normal!" when everyone had repeatedly said this would take time and to see your doctor.

You're going to recover, it will take time. Enjoy your life as best you can and try to find things to laugh about or relax with. I hid out at home for weeks because i thought i would have a heart attack if i overstimulated myself, and it turned out hanging with friends and getting my mind off it (even temporarily, cause it would come back) was the only real thing that helped.
Click to expand...

I've only done coke once, and about 3 days later I had the worst panic attack I've ever had (aside from one bad shroom trip) and fainted.
 
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