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I'm happier on Adderall, but big problem! help

S

Skateboarding

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 6, 2011
Messages
21
Hello, new member here but long time visitor to the forums.

I'm going to try to make this as simple and short as possible.

Most my life I've suffered from not wanting to really do anything productive (school,job,run errands) or things that I had to do.. Not sure why, because I want to have a career and a nice life and even want to go to college, get a job, and all that..... I'll think about it, research schools, but I never make it actually happen. It's like my priorities are screwed up... I'll apply for jobs, and hope i get an interview and be excited about the thought of having money and shit but then when i do get an interview I suddenly lose interest and dont want to work....

Crazy right? well get this- I randomly one day got a hold of some Adderall.

Solved all my problems! I wasn't depressed, I actually went out and applyed to jobs, I registered to start college....I felt alive and not like my old unproductive and depressed self.


(I've tried anti-depressants before and they didn't do crap).

Sounds like I'm all set then since I found my "miracle cure" right?

NOPE! I just ran out (I had a 23 day supply) and i'm back to my old self and dont wanna go to school now and feelin depressed again..

I'd love to get a prescription for adderall, but I've actually tried in the past because I thought I had add/adhd which I still think I do, and I've been to 4 different doctors and all of them refuse to treat/prescribe me anything, probably because im a 21 year old male and they think im going to abuse it.


Need some help here.. What should I do? I feel like sh*t and just wanna feel productive/happy again.

(I can't afford to see a psychiatrist right now to attempt to get treated/prescribed adderall.) :!
 
Join the club, I need meds (not adderall) and can't get them for the same reason. Since the doctors don't want to do any harm by treating my issues with meds that have a minor danger, I end up a heavy drug user who has a serious opioid problem. -1 for our doctors THINKING they are doing no harm.
 
You should try and do the things you were doing on adderall without it. Eventually, at least in my experience, you'll feel better about yourself the more you get done and the more you realize that you dont need substances in order to take care of the things you need to. It will make you feel empowered and give you the motivation you need to continue on your path of being productive without the use of substances.

Caffeine also helps:)

-CONTIN
 
I certainly sympathize with both of you, Skateboarding and Secobarbital.

This is obviously a controversial topic - whether you should stay on certain types of medications for long periods of time, or for live, even.

Skateboarding, have you tried going to a counselor at your school? They might be able to help you as far as providing recommendations, whether it's on doctor's who might prescribe or alternative solutions to the problem. If it's a resource you haven't tapped yet, it couldn't hurt. They are there to help you, they want you in class and to succeed.
 
mcgrCONTIN said:
You should try and do the things you were doing on adderall without it. Eventually, at least in my experience, you'll feel better about yourself the more you get done and the more you realize that you dont need substances in order to take care of the things you need to. It will make you feel empowered and give you the motivation you need to continue on your path of being productive without the use of substances.

Caffeine also helps:)

-CONTIN
Click to expand...

That's a positive answer:)
I'll definately see how I do tomorrow(it's 1:15am here) and I'm hoping to get some decent sleep soon.

Is it pretty much impossible to get prescribed Adderall when your in your early/mid 20's? Should I just keep trying even though every time I go I lose money sense I dont have health insurence? Think It'll happen?

I know I can go get the "Add/Adhd testing" done, which will most likely get me a prescription for adderall- but the test costs like 1200.00.

Sucks cuz I know people who have prescriptions for Adderall and all they do is abuse them and get high off em... I don't... I have in the past(I've taken 100mg IR at the same time), but if I abuse them then I wont have enough to last me so I'm totally fine taking a basic 20mg twice a day.

blaaah
 
bow-viper1 said:
I certainly sympathize with both of you, Skateboarding and Secobarbital.

This is obviously a controversial topic - whether you should stay on certain types of medications for long periods of time, or for live, even.

Skateboarding, have you tried going to a counselor at your school? They might be able to help you as far as providing recommendations, whether it's on doctor's who might prescribe or alternative solutions to the problem. If it's a resource you haven't tapped yet, it couldn't hurt. They are there to help you, they want you in class and to succeed.
Click to expand...

Not in school at the moment.. I registered for classes, and hope I'll end up going- but without adderall I'm in this "fuck it i'm depressed and dont want to be around people" kind of mood 24/7 which sucks because when I'm on adderall I'm not depressed- I feel normal, I chat it up with strangers etc.
 
Skateboarding said:
Not in school at the moment.. I registered for classes, and hope I'll end up going- but without adderall I'm in this "fuck it i'm depressed and dont want to be around people" kind of mood 24/7 which sucks because when I'm on adderall I'm not depressed- I feel normal, I chat it up with strangers etc.
Click to expand...
I completely understand where you're at, trust me.

Make yourself go for the first couple of weeks, and make sure you talk to the counselor and/or nurse for advice. Just tell them your symptoms. My understanding and belief is that telling professionals that you've been illegally buying and taking Adderall and it is what you need is the worst thing you could do.

No matter who it is you talk to in this process, just tell them your symptoms and feelings - nothing about any specific medication, and definitely nothing about having taken it illegally before. If you do find a doctor, they're likely going to start you out with some of the weaker ADD/ADHD medications. You just have to deal with it; play their game and avoid drug-seeking behavior at all costs. If they prescribe you something that isn't what you want, go with the program for a while. Give it time, and be open minded. Then, and ONLY then, if it truly isn't working for you, let them know and they'll try something else.

Good luck, and I hope you find the help you need.
 
Hey there Skateboarding, welcome to bluelight !

Just for future reference, the Other Drugs forum is mainly here for intermediate level drug questions. Since your post is more of a personal issue regarding motivation/depression problems, it would be better suited over in The Dark Side.

I'm going to shuffle your post over there, as I think you will get more responses over there from the quality posters in that forum. (Nothing against my OD buddies :) )

Good luck though, and I hope you'll stick around bluelight and utilize our fantastic community. Feel free to introduce yourself over in New Member Iintroductions. Also, if you're bored, feel free to read over the Blue Light User Agreement, and the Other Drugs Rules and Guidelines, conveniently located in my signature.

If you have any questions don't hesitate to private message myself or any other staff members.

Mike
 
I am very surprised you are having such a difficult time getting stimulants. Maybe try different doctors.

I have had them prescribed all through my 20s and several doctors knew my history with addiction. Even had them prescribed when I was under 100 lbs (I'm female).

But most of the prescribing was done after an initial period of treatment with other drugs.

I didn't just go into their office and say "give me adderall I got add". I tried some stuff out with the doctor and several months later he himself suggested stimulants. Because he thought I needed them and thought they might actually be beneficial.

Unfortunately side effects outweigh the benefits for me and I can't take them.
 
ask for vyvanse, ritalin, or concerta. all have made me feel productive (except i never got to try vyvanse which is a time released, non ab-usable form of dex amphetamine)
 
I appreciate everybody's posts.

Well- I ended up obtaining 20 more addy's today. I woke up feeling terrible and had to start "Operation blues" (That's what I call it when I go on the hunt for adderalls because they're usually the blue 10mg pills lol).
 
I hate to state the obvious, but munching amphetamine will ultimately exacerbate your motivation problems as time goes on.
 
of course they do, they (amphetamines) increase dopamine and serotonin levels in the brain making you feel interested in your normal, boring, and daily activities.
 
Yeah, Adderall or any other stimulant work by producing/releasing more dopamine... I'm not sure so I could be totally wrong, but I dont think serotonin levels are increased much with stimulants, I think its mostly Dopamine and norepinephrine..Could be wrong though.

Anyway- I'm curious about something and the more I think about it, the more I worry about it... Since I've been taking Adderall almost daily lately (in the range of about 40-60mg but occasionally taking 100mg/day) I'm curious how much damage I'm doing to my brain... I know methamphetamine is pretty neurotoxic and can destroy some receptors/neurons or something like that pretty quickly....But what about Adderall? I'm sure I'm doing some sort of damage to my brain (hopefully very little) but is it enough to permanently screw up my brains receptors/neurons to the point were when I get off Adderall I'll have a hard time socializing and even more depressed?

I read somewhere that adderall,ritalin and other prescription stimulants have had tons of reserach done on them and that they're not nearly as bad as crystal methamphetamine...It said something like how meth is 6x more potent or 6x more neurotoxic....Anybody know anything about this?

I just don't wanna fuck my brain up to where I can ONLY function on a stimulant- that would suck!!! because I know a guy who's been using meth for a couple years and now its like his brain is damaged, he has problems putting sentences together and socializing in an intelligent way..

I dont wanna be like that lol.

I'd rather be dead then to permanently be brain-dead/dumb as fuck.
 
I just dont see adderall,ritalin,dexedrine etc. really doing that much damage to the brain with it being used by millions of people- and some of them having used them for 20+ years...

I'd like to think that if adderall etc. would cause severe changes in the brain then you wouldn't be able to get a prescription.....and it'd be totally illegal. It's gotta be decently safe in terms of neurotoxic I'd think.
 
Skateboarding said:
I just dont see adderall,ritalin,dexedrine etc. really doing that much damage to the brain with it being used by millions of people- and some of them having used them for 20+ years...

I'd like to think that if adderall etc. would cause severe changes in the brain then you wouldn't be able to get a prescription.....and it'd be totally illegal. It's gotta be decently safe in terms of neurotoxic I'd think.
Click to expand...

Unfortunately this thought process leaves the united states with countless people over prescribed ssri's which not many realize going in can be an absolute nightmare esp if they try to come off of them. Cannot rely on public conception of medication for facts, that being said, plenty of people use stimulants for add / adhd fine - I would seek out a specialist and not a family doctor - bare min a general psychiatrist. Their job is medicine , whereas a doctor tends to be too broad with their knowledge and not able to specifically treat mental problems.
 
Skateboarding said:
I'd like to think that if adderall etc. would cause severe changes in the brain then you wouldn't be able to get a prescription.....and it'd be totally illegal. It's gotta be decently safe in terms of neurotoxic I'd think.
Click to expand...

This is exactly the type of attitude that is wrong with the world right now, and frankly it pisses me off. Why do you expect society to be your nanny and take something away from you if its too dangerous? That's something you need to decide for yourself through reading, research, and asking questions of the right people.

Furthermore, a compound need not be neurotoxic to cause lasting detrimental changes to the brain. Honestly, I don't think I've ever even heard of a long-term amphetamine user who hasn't lost the plot -- its practically a guarantee when you're fucking around with this stuff. Its not medication, its just speed -- you "feel better" on it because you're whizzing your face off, not because you're "treating your condition".
 
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