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Is it all over for me?

M

MystiKasT

Greenlighter
Joined
May 5, 2011
Messages
24
Location
Philadelphia, PA
Hello all,

Today is the last day I have at my friend's place, I am writing fromh is computer. In the past few weeks, things have spiraled out of control. I have to leave the current place I'm staying by 3pm today. I have no money and nowhere to go. For the past few weeks, i have been living at a friends, making enough money each day for subs and food, but now my friend has to return home for the summer and I have no where to stay and my parents aren't willing to take me back in. I am in philadelphia. This wouldn't be so bad if I weren't depended on opiates. I have a very strong opiate addiction right now and withdrawal basically makes me bedridden. I have no sleeping bag, no food, no water, and only a bit of clothes; I've also nothing to sell and no phone. At 3pm today, I will be homeless, with nowhere to go, no sleeping bag, no food, no money, and no suboxone or opiates to stave off withdrawal. I can handle withdrawal if I have a place to stay, or I can handle being homeless if I'm not withdrawaling, but I do not think I can survive homeless and withdrawaling at the same time. If I am withdrawaling, I will not have the strength to try and find food, water, or shelter. It's a complciated situation.

I am in philadelphia and it is very, very hot here. The homeless and food shelters are spread far apart and beds and food are not guaranteed. I have also exhausted all of my friend options and my credit options.Also, I'm not allowed access to any free clinics because technically I have health insurance through my parents, though they refuse to allow me back in the house. I called the methadone clinic, they said because I have insurance, I have to use it and pay the copay, $11/day, though I do not have the money. I will also have to walk in the blistering heat from methadone clinics (if I somehow do get the money), to homeless shelters, to food drives. I am really scared, and I am very worried. I'm currently out on bail, I've been debating just committing a crime and returning to prison, but if I do, it violates the conditions of my bail and I will be sentenced to 12 years. Does anyone have any ideas of what I can do please? Can I call my insurance company and cancel my insurance so I can get public assistance? Its odd because they won't give me any free assistance because I'm technically dependent on my parents, but my parents refuse to have anything to do with me. Any advice is appreciated. I am a 22 year old male.
 
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Im so sorry you have to go through that everyday. Please dont go to jail and violate your case because it will be much worse in the long run. I know it seems impossible but you will get through this hard time in your life and find a place to stay. You will even one day be able to put all your legal situations behind you. Wish i had practical advice though.
 
Thank you. I have 4mg of sub left, enough to stave off withdrawal for today. I am thinking panhandling for food money and $11 to make it out to the suburbs. Once I've done that, I think I'm going to collect a bunch of empty waterbottles, feel them up at a waterfountain, or sink and pack them up. I'll then go out to the suburbs, find some woods to sleep in so I can stay out of the heat, and withdrawal there with the food and water I have stacked up. I don't have anything to sleep on, or anything to keep my mind off shit, but atleast I'll be alive and out of jail. Hopefully, once the withdrawal is kicked, I will be able to get money by doing odd-jobs, such as washing cars or carrying trash, or whatever it may be.
 
Also, I have $33,000 in student loans and $5,000 in credit card debt ... does anyone know what will happen if I default on this debt? The credit card loans are in my name, but th student loans are co-signed by my parents. Please let me know if you can. Thanks.
 
It sounds like a shitty situation Mystikat, not being from the U.S. am afraid that I cant be of much help to you, am sorry. Keep on here if you can am sure there are others who will provide you with some helpful advice. I agree with Bignig about not violating the terms of your parole. by the looks of things. We are all rooting for you, keep strong mate. <3
 
You are still young.......dont do anything to go back to jail, especially for 12 years, thats insane. If you think you have it bad now, 12 years in the slammer is nightmare. Talk to your parents no matter what & try to convince them you will change for the better.

Throw them a guilt trip & tell your parents you love them & cant live w/o them & that you're sorry for everything you have put them threw. Tell them what you've told us about going to jail because you need somewhere to stay.

I just cant see how parents could be cold to the fact that you are looking at 12 years in jail if you dont get off the street because you will do something to put you there.
 
rehab it up. Even if you don't want to get clean you'll have three squares and a bed. Insurance will cover it most likely.

After you leave, there are places the facility will help you get into

I'm from the philly area and there are many resources. You just need to know where to look. In the interim, you could check out The Last Stop (2440 Kensington Ave). I know people stay there when they have nowhere else to go. There is a lot of dirt and sleaze bags there but that comes with along with our lifestyle anyway so you should be used to it.

Norristown (right outside philly) has a shitload of soup kitchens but only one shelter and it has a wait list.

Super WaWa in better to do areas will get you some decent money panhandling but you gotta keep it moving or the police will 'relocate' you to a shit area
 
agree with above post ^

You should try to get your parents to let you come home.
Anything beats jail. With the health insurance issue, you can
say you are indigent. If they ask, tell them that your parents
took you off their insurance.
Where I live (Ft Lauderdale) the methadone clinics don't accept
insurance at all. I don't see how they can force you to use insurance
if you have the $11.00 fee.
 
Don't do anything stupid: please please stay out of jail.
It seems very hard but it'll all get better I promise you that from experience.
Here in Mexico there are a lot of addicts centers or "farms". They are somewhat shitty because they have to do with whatever the addict's families want to donate. The Government only give them medical supplies and medicines. They also take in homeless people no matter they are addicts or not. The conditions are excellent and the addicts are great people, having visited them on many ocassions. So, isn't there some equivalent in the U.S.? All centers charge you?
Here they don't if you can't afford it.
Go to the public library to get a computer.
Can anyone here please give my friend Mystikast legal advice?
Your thread asks if it is all over for you, well is not, this is just a temporary setback in your life, look at it that way.
I agree with the idea you have to try with your parents, this time you need to want to stay clean, if you don't want to, no treatment will work.
About your student's loan, well if you were a minor or dependant on your parents at that time then they signed as guarantees and obviusly they'll have to carry that burden. But if you do that you will lose whatever shot you may have at reconciling with them, so leave it to after you talk to them. (I'm understanding you are, or were, at least until recently, in college and you plan to collect part of your loan to survive, if I'm wrong and it's just a debt then yes, they will most likely have to pay)

Best of luck my friend, I haven't prayed in 10 years (Mexican Catholic) but today I will. For you.

PS.
Anyone from Philly here willing to help my friend Mystikast?? Pleaaaase, this is serious, or someone start a new thread asking for help from bluelighters from Philly.
 
I think you should save those 4mg of bupe and ration them to maybe .5mg/day for 8 days. If you have no where else to go and no money I would consider seeking out a shelter. I'm know a few people who have been in your situation and I'm pretty sure the earlier you get there the better chances you have of getting a bed.

Good luck, but don't do something drastic like go back to jail, it's something you will regret later. Your in a major city, so you could probably panhandle pretty easily if you need do. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you
 
Man I'm hella sry bro your situation seriously makes me sad I'm fucked up right now and read your post. Do what you gotta do to stay safe if it was possible id fucking fly you out here to stay with me or get you a hotel or if I even had money id send you some, some how with the hopes of you useing it to benefit your situation whether it being you buying more subs somehow to stay well or getting a cheap ass motel. You can't borrow money from someone? No friends or other family? Anything at all dude? Fuk man I'm sorry I'm broke I seriousy would try and send you money somehow if I was still working sms had a job. Good luck with your troubles as this shit takes time and you will and shall get through it. Much love. Peace.
 
Hello all,

Thank you for your support. Just wanted to let you know I'm doing well. Was able to make enough money to buy a couple subs and taper down, been hopping from shelter to shelter and kitchen to kitchen. I've kicked the physical withdrawal now and just have a bit of depression. I've also arranged to move back home, just hoping I don't get back into dope. I have an abusive family, one of the key reasons I started abusing dope, but hopefully they've learned something in the time I've been gone. I will update tomorrow, thanks again.
 
Honestly speaking, I was hoping for your update telling that everything is more or less fine. Pretty much fucked up situation of yours, and I was wondering how you dealt with it. Good to hear from you! Stay away from dope, you don't really need it, simply not worth all the problems which come with using. In the end, things will mend, how cheasy it wouldnt sound its true.
 
Yeah, I left home awhile ago after a big fight with my parents, that basically ended up in them telling me Im no longer welcome back. Its tough, because I need a place to stay, but to get that place to stay, I have to live in a very stressful environment. Constantly my parents, cry, scream, yell, and fight. They are very mean and insult me a lot, telling me Im a worthless drug addict and I'm good for nothing. I've never stolen from them, I've done my best to be a good loving son, but they don't listen, my mother is bipolar, schizophrenic, and chronically depressed, and both of my parents are alcoholics. One of the few things that takes away the pain is dope, which is one of the reasons why I got into it. When I wake up and I hear my parents crying and yelling at each other, I'm even afraid to leave my room to go downstairs to get breakfest, for fear I'll be dragged into it. Its gotten to the point where I'll even piss in bottles and shit in trashbags, wiping my ass with tissues, so that I don't have to leave my room and get dragged into it. A big fat line of dope and I put on my headphones, play video games, and I can escape from all that drama. I hope I can manage to stay clean while with my parents, but it will be difficult. I will do my best.
 
MystiKasT said:
Yeah, I left home awhile ago after a big fight with my parents, that basically ended up in them telling me Im no longer welcome back. Its tough, because I need a place to stay, but to get that place to stay, I have to live in a very stressful environment. Constantly my parents, cry, scream, yell, and fight. They are very mean and insult me a lot, telling me Im a worthless drug addict and I'm good for nothing. I've never stolen from them, I've done my best to be a good loving son, but they don't listen, my mother is bipolar, schizophrenic, and chronically depressed, and both of my parents are alcoholics. One of the few things that takes away the pain is dope, which is one of the reasons why I got into it. When I wake up and I hear my parents crying and yelling at each other, I'm even afraid to leave my room to go downstairs to get breakfest, for fear I'll be dragged into it. Its gotten to the point where I'll even piss in bottles and shit in trashbags, wiping my ass with tissues, so that I don't have to leave my room and get dragged into it. A big fat line of dope and I put on my headphones, play video games, and I can escape from all that drama. I hope I can manage to stay clean while with my parents, but it will be difficult. I will do my best.
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It can be tough when your parents have a dependency problem themselves & psychological issues to top it off. I wish you luck bro, they are still your parents & hope things go better for you.
 
I am so glad for you that you managed to get a roof over your head. Your parents seem absolutely awful, but still they are your parents and you are dependent on them. If you can stay clean, you could get a fullltime job and be away from the horror for a while during the day and at the same time save money for living on your own.

I know the job outlook is poor...I've been on unemployment for over a year now. But sales, fast food places, corporate stores would be an easy in maybe. But they do drug test nowadays, so do your best to stay clean. I truly wish you the best and good luck.
 
$11 a day for methadone. Thats not too much. If youre good at panhandling you can make like $30 an hour.

Or you can ask your parents or friends for help.

Youre in a tough place i understand..ive been homeless too. Youre in for some rough times, but remember that it can only get better if you try your best."this too shall pass"
 
Don't give up!

Well,bro,i don't know you,but..You're in a really, really, fuckin difficult situation, of course you know it.I wish you be strong to pass this,God will not leave you with out any kind of help.From deep inside my heart i wish you good luck and strength.Don't give up friend,power..

MartinFn
 
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