Rough week: My boyfriend just got sent to rehab

[Tsara]

I am just looking for some support here because this week has been really rough. It is a pretty long read.

My boyfriend and I have basically been on and off opiates for the past two years of our three year relationship. He has always taken it further than me though and has been addicted for the most part. He has got himself into a huge amount of debt through drug use and I am an enabled him to continue his drug habits by lending him money and making deals with him so that we can get high together.

The situation kind of came to a head a few nights ago when I took him to the hospital for overdosing on dilaudid. Before this we had never IV'ed pills just snorted/plugged them and I am completely against the idea of IV'ing. Anyways he went against my wishes and did IV which led to this overdose. After he left the hospital his parents got involved because he told them himself.

Long story short he spent the whole next few days IV'ing dilaudid (not well probably because I doubt he knew how to filter it properly). His parents eventually came to the conclusion that he was IV'ing in his room and gave him the option of either moving out (not possible because of debt) or going to rehab (they have lots of money for private payment). So essentially he felt backed into a corner and betrayed because his girlfriend (me) also wanted him to go to rehab.

When given the two options, he really hated the idea of rehab and he planned to commit suicide with a lot of valium. I took it from him before he could and he went into a rage. Anyways police were called, he got arrested and taken to the hospital again.

Anyways after feeling that all of his friends and I had betrayed him and he had lost the lifestyle that he loves and keeps him alive (hopefully he will realize that he doesn't have to do drugs everyday to be happy) he decided to go to rehab.

Just took him to the airport for a 30 day rehab (possibly longer) and it is killing me. I promised that I would be sober to support him and I think I can do that. I am just upset that this situation never would have happened if I hadn't enabled his drug addiction. I just feel like I am to blame for him sinking this low.

I guess I am just looking for some support from someone who isn't involved in the situation. It has been a really hard week to get through.

 

[j0nblaze]

hey..

Its not your fault.. even if you were encouraging him you aren't responsible. It sounds like maybe you need help also if iv pills aren't your style then you were just going along with someone elses idea.. if your bad decisions revolve around 1 person than you need to make sure its a healthy relationship for both. Im sorry to say it doesn't sound like it so far, but that doesn't mean it can't be.. I don't know how old you are or anything more than you wrote but staying sober is never a bad idea.. I think its safe to say its definitely a good one for you at the moment..

 

[Wolfmans_BrothEr]

You aren't to blame for his addiction. Like you said he Iv'ed against your wishes, and did it for a few days on his own without you around. Addicts are addicts and they're going to progress whether they have everyone or no one around to do it with. He made the right decision to go to a program, and although he may feel as if you betrayed him, that's just his addicting talking. When he finally sobers up and gets a clear head he'll realize that you guys did what's best for him. He od'ed and you took him to the hospital, and right after that he went home and continued doing the same thing that nearly killed him, he needs help.

When were addicted we don't think rationally, because were addicted. The best thing you can do now is to support him and to clean yourself up for when he returns. I can guarantee you that it's nit gonna work if one of you keeps using while the others trying to stay clean. How old are you? If your serious about being in a relationship with him then the smartest thing to do would clean yourself up, and explain to him that unless he does the same, you two can't be together.

Im sorry that your having to go through this right now, it sucks I know, but this kind of stuff happens when you don't use consequential thinking. It's an unhealthy relationship for both of you, you both enable each other and unless you guys wanna spend the rest of your life's spiraling down, you you need to make a change. I went to rehab twice, once for a year, and both times I was with the same girl. The first time she stuck it out, but the second she ended up cheating on me and we didn't stay together. A months nothing. You guys are given a great opportunity to turn things around, there are a lot of people who wish they could afford rehab. I'm serious, everything I've said is from experience, and your chances of succeeding are greatly diminished if you try to continue your current lifestyle.

TBH if this hadn't happened and you guys just continued on with how things were, theres a good chance you could've started iv'ing yourself. I kno u probly say yea right, that'll never happen, but did you ever think this would happen either? I wish you luck, and keep it one day at a time

BTW welcome to bluelight

 

[Tsara]

Thanks for your replies.

We are both 20 but live with our parents because of University.

I guess the issue at this point will be that I am not quitting because I want to quit but because I really have no choice but to quit (all dealers in this situation have remained anonymous to me and only my boyfriend knew them). I am not the type of person to search out someone to buy from because of social anxiety issues.

I just feel resentful because I have held down the same job for 6 years (and I would never jeopardize it so it cuts down my drug use to days/evenings that I don't work) and have A's in University so I feel like I am functioning whilst still doing drugs.

Obviously I know that for the relationship to work I have to quit, but that is my issue. My quality of life hasn't significantly decreased whereas my boyfriend failed all of his classes and lost his job.

 

[j0nblaze]

good for you but..

Some lucky few can have a healthy relationship with drugs. You just gave some evidence o support that you are capable but your first post suggests otherwise.. you were going along with things you said you were against. At 20 you want to have fun and you should be able to but if your boyfriend is important he deserves your support and being sober is the only way you can do that I think. As for you I think you should think about how in control you really were and if you are able to use drugs safely.

 

[TheLostBoys]

Thanks for your replies.

We are both 20 but live with our parents because of University.

I guess the issue at this point will be that I am not quitting because I want to quit but because I really have no choice but to quit (all dealers in this situation have remained anonymous to me and only my boyfriend knew them). I am not the type of person to search out someone to buy from because of social anxiety issues.

I just feel resentful because I have held down the same job for 6 years (and I would never jeopardize it so it cuts down my drug use to days/evenings that I don't work) and have A's in University so I feel like I am functioning whilst still doing drugs.

Obviously I know that for the relationship to work I have to quit, but that is my issue. My quality of life hasn't significantly decreased whereas my boyfriend failed all of his classes and lost his job.

Its not your fault for enabling him the access of obtaining opiates. He would have gotten them one way or another. Also, not everyone can maintain a lifestyle like you have of enjoying drugs & keeping good grades & a job w/o having problems as you can see by your bf's issues.

Seems your bf "loves" the drugs too much & everything else didnt matter while you can juggle everything around drugs. Bottom line is your bf definitely needs rehab & if you are willing to stick by him & continue with this relationship, you will need to quit as well. He can not have outside influences in his life when he returns & since you are his gf, he will probably be asking you for money to buy drugs if he relapses.

You will need to be strong & quit for him because with you using, its a matter of time before he relapses & you will feel alot worse than you do now.

Good luck, its gonna take some work but if you have faith in each other as well as love, there isnt much you cant over come in a relationship.