What do you guys think? Do you think that there are some people who just can't be happy no matter how much they try to battle their depression/addiction? Or do you believe that with the right help and work anyone who can hang in long enough could get back on their feet?
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Can Everyone Be Happy?
- Thread starter SawRED
- Start date
ocean
Bluelight Crew
I believe that the potential is there 
I think its all about your way of thinking. I know some people who just can't be happy- but I know that if they let go of the anger and things that hold them back, they could find happiness. As long as they hold on to their bitterness they'll be in the cycle of depression and happiness.
Sure, situations and life hardships can cause bumps in the road, but you can find your way back to happiness, I think
I'm not discounting clinical depression but I think that with medication in those instances, happiness is within reach.
I think its all about your way of thinking. I know some people who just can't be happy- but I know that if they let go of the anger and things that hold them back, they could find happiness. As long as they hold on to their bitterness they'll be in the cycle of depression and happiness.
Sure, situations and life hardships can cause bumps in the road, but you can find your way back to happiness, I think
I'm not discounting clinical depression but I think that with medication in those instances, happiness is within reach.
SideOrderOfOpiates
Bluelighter
I think that some people are simply not wired to be happy, and that anyone who says otherwise is a cock-eyed optimist. Take a look at all the photos in the Bluelight Shrine of people who have died from drugs. Think about all of the suicides in particular. Logically speaking, at least some of those people had to have really tried everything. I believe that although the vast majority of people can improve their quality of life, I think that to say that everyone is capable of being happy is complete a completely ignorant bullshit fantasy.
To paraphrase the Buddha, happiness cannot be felt and appreciated, without sadness. Light understood without darkness, and so on. I think the key is to recognize that being perpetually happy is not what life is about - nothing lasts forever. Being able to adjust and flow and bend with the inevitable ups and downs - in a healthy way - is what we should all strive for.
Are there people actually 100% incapable of dealing with the "downs" or with whatever struggle they are facing, no matter what they try, eventually falling victim to their demons? Some people will never make it, and that's a fact. Whether or not there was SOMEthing missed that could have saved them is a question I can't answer.
Are there people actually 100% incapable of dealing with the "downs" or with whatever struggle they are facing, no matter what they try, eventually falling victim to their demons? Some people will never make it, and that's a fact. Whether or not there was SOMEthing missed that could have saved them is a question I can't answer.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
I do think it is likely that being happy likely takes more effort for some people than others.
Thinking that there is a category of people that is less capable of being happy is a trap though. There is an enormous body of literature dedicated to putting forth ideas about troubleshooting unhappiness. Tons of it is available for free on the web. There are tons of proffesionals dedicated to helping people with allied tasks.
I don't think people need to resign themselves to being unhappy. Work to maintain well being is like tending a yard. Its something you can not go all out on and than give up. Sometimes problems come up that you have never seen before and you have to go about things a bit differently.
Thinking that there is a category of people that is less capable of being happy is a trap though. There is an enormous body of literature dedicated to putting forth ideas about troubleshooting unhappiness. Tons of it is available for free on the web. There are tons of proffesionals dedicated to helping people with allied tasks.
I don't think people need to resign themselves to being unhappy. Work to maintain well being is like tending a yard. Its something you can not go all out on and than give up. Sometimes problems come up that you have never seen before and you have to go about things a bit differently.
Pleasure is attainable, and often affordable. Happiness seems more elusive, and does not seem to be found where modern western culture tells us it will be. Happiness is a life long personal goal, and hopefully we can reach it before we die, or at least get some when we die.
TheLostBoys
Bluelighter
grrr8Dane
Bluelighter
Personally, I don't believe that anyone is capable of independently achieving happiness because happiness is a circumstantial, ephemeral state. Those who are happy are only happy because their circumstances momentarily warrant it.
These days, I don't aspire to be happy, rather, content.
theotherside
Ex-Bluelighter
I just had one of the rare things happen where I was just talking about this with my g/f, who tends to be more of a "downer" "depressive" type person, and then I saw this thread. I mean we were discussing this exact topic because she feels that she can't ever really feel happy. It is a difficult question to answer but I can't wait to read more great responses in this thread.
In so many ways I agree that not everyone can be happy and I think it's obvious that even when the right steps are taken like therapy and professional help that some people cannot succeed in overcoming there sadness. Yet what oceans said about letting go of the things that stop you from achieving happiness made me see the flip side as well. A lot of the time I feel like I want so much more from life then what is realistic/possible/given to me (especially at this point) and that there is not a world I could imagine that I'd be happy. But not letting go of these high expectations could be part of what keeps me unhappy. Realistically to let these things go is easier said then done and maybe it is that inability which prevents certain people from being able to deal with their problems.
In the end I don't think I could choose an opinion either way I'd like to believe that everyone could fool themselves into being happy at the very least, but it seems that based on all the suicides, addictions, and overdoses that occur, this may not be the case. I guess well never know if all those people were just missing the friend, advice, or whatever it may be that could have saved them or made them happier.
In the end I don't think I could choose an opinion either way I'd like to believe that everyone could fool themselves into being happy at the very least, but it seems that based on all the suicides, addictions, and overdoses that occur, this may not be the case. I guess well never know if all those people were just missing the friend, advice, or whatever it may be that could have saved them or made them happier.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
I saw a TED talk once where it was asserted that the rates of being happy a year after an amputation of a limb are about the same as the rates of being happy a year after winning the lottery. Part of the thesis he was getting at is that people have a baseline level of happiness and a year after a given boon or trauma you are likely going to be mostly settled into your baseline.
Neuroticism in the big 5 personality system is complex but can be thought of as a predisposition to be unhappy.
I don't accept that neuroticism is an unalterable component of a persons psychic make up, but I don't think neuroticism is easily altered either. My model of dealing with myself and my intimates tends to be complex and more psychodynamic, however I think successful use of professional psychotherapy one gets the biggest boost for their money from psychotherapies oriented to being brief.
Analyzing decisions, reactions, issues with emotional charge is important in making for a future that can be a bit more happy. One principle from psychoanalysis that I think operates in most everybody's live is repetition compulsion. We are inclined to act out over and over along similar lines and some portion of those compulsions are often misery inducing.
An appreciation for the absurd, an ability to laugh at one's self, and an ability to question if emotional charged issues are really as important as we are making them can dispell a significant amount of unhappiness but this can tends to be more easily said than done.
Neuroticism in the big 5 personality system is complex but can be thought of as a predisposition to be unhappy.
I don't accept that neuroticism is an unalterable component of a persons psychic make up, but I don't think neuroticism is easily altered either. My model of dealing with myself and my intimates tends to be complex and more psychodynamic, however I think successful use of professional psychotherapy one gets the biggest boost for their money from psychotherapies oriented to being brief.
Analyzing decisions, reactions, issues with emotional charge is important in making for a future that can be a bit more happy. One principle from psychoanalysis that I think operates in most everybody's live is repetition compulsion. We are inclined to act out over and over along similar lines and some portion of those compulsions are often misery inducing.
An appreciation for the absurd, an ability to laugh at one's self, and an ability to question if emotional charged issues are really as important as we are making them can dispell a significant amount of unhappiness but this can tends to be more easily said than done.
zombiesarepeaceful
Bluelighter
Wolfmans_BrothEr
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2011
- Messages
- 903
I believe that everyone has their own version of happiness, and that although they may not know what it is, everyone can achieve it.
Charleston_Car
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2011
- Messages
- 188
Hey there's a whole website devoted to this sort of idea:
http://www.bltc.com/index.html
It's a huge website based on the idea of everyone being happy, kind of like Aldous Huxley's 'Brave New World', it's kind of strange but really interesting at the same time. Lots of cool stuff, I don't know much myself so I can't make much of an opinion here but it's a really good read.
http://www.bltc.com/index.html
It's a huge website based on the idea of everyone being happy, kind of like Aldous Huxley's 'Brave New World', it's kind of strange but really interesting at the same time. Lots of cool stuff, I don't know much myself so I can't make much of an opinion here but it's a really good read.
TheLostBoys
Bluelighter
I felt happiness before. Mostly when I was growing up as a youngster. I would say about the ages of 12-16. Happiness to me feels like I am contempt with everything in my life, I smile alot, I feel a warm glow come over me & feel warm & cozy. Now mind you this sounds like a good opiate high but better. Trust me, if you could feel that happiness, you wouldnt touch opiates. I didnt touch them until way after college.
I use to feel this way when I would just lay there in bed with my gf & stare at her while she slept knowing She was put on this earth for the same reasons I was, to bring happiness, smiles & help our fellow man.
Trying to make others happy & smile will reward you in the end with your own happiness but like stated before, not everyone has enjoyed or will enjoy happiness because of the bad situations they were in growing up or the ones they are in now. Who ever said life isnt fair couldnt have stated a truer statement.
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Wolfmans_BrothEr
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2011
- Messages
- 903
I think were happier when were younger b.c we have less things to stress about. Life was simpler then
I kno wat u mean about having a girl nd shit. Whenever I was laying in bed with my girl I slept so much better then when I was single
as you get older i feel nas if you want to be happy but it just cant happen. there is alot you have to worry about work financial stuff starting a fam, fam on your back.. theres just some stuff that people want and cant have like love and that just makes you mad thinking about it
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
44 year old here, by and large, for myself and many people I know life is happier as you get older. This pessimism about getting old could well help create a less happy future for a younger person though.
Life is hard but an acceptance that life isn't easy paradoxically makes life a lot more tolerable. The good old days through nostalgia seem unbeatable but that's because nostalgic memories are a fantasy more than reality. It can be a fantasy that turns the present sour but what the hell. Believing that one is condemned to unhappiness will certainly make it so. Believing one can choose to be happier is not an entirely provable thesis. Millions upon billions of things in our lives are beyond our control. It would take believing that we have some sort of influence on our reactions to reality and our moods to believe we have some ability to be happy. Even then who knows.
I don't know what other's have to work with and in what ways they are broken but for myself I have to say I am capable of being happy a good portion of the time. I suspect many other people can bolster their happiness as well. Being fated sucks and I very sorry for everyone who is actually destined to be unhappy or who believe themselves to be so destined.
Life is hard but an acceptance that life isn't easy paradoxically makes life a lot more tolerable. The good old days through nostalgia seem unbeatable but that's because nostalgic memories are a fantasy more than reality. It can be a fantasy that turns the present sour but what the hell. Believing that one is condemned to unhappiness will certainly make it so. Believing one can choose to be happier is not an entirely provable thesis. Millions upon billions of things in our lives are beyond our control. It would take believing that we have some sort of influence on our reactions to reality and our moods to believe we have some ability to be happy. Even then who knows.
I don't know what other's have to work with and in what ways they are broken but for myself I have to say I am capable of being happy a good portion of the time. I suspect many other people can bolster their happiness as well. Being fated sucks and I very sorry for everyone who is actually destined to be unhappy or who believe themselves to be so destined.
I like what you said about that if you believe you can't be happy you condemn your self to that exact fate.
I'm planning on getting a tattoo that says "Paradise Is Not Lost" with the scene of Jacob defeating an Angel in a wrestling match. Not cause I always feel like its true, but more of as reminder that even if its not true, if you don't believe however irrationally theres paradise for you somewhere on earth whats the point of going on living.The angel being defeated represents that we don't need an afterlife or heaven to experience paradise, its right here on earth attainable to all no matter how your life has gone.
None the less there will be people who will never be happy and maybe never could and to them I hope they find a place of peace.