So, to elaborate on my post from last night... I feel like opiate addiction is worse because, like I said, I have been through opiate addiction as well as been diagnosed with both clinical depression and PTSD. I know that's not enough so I'll give a few specific examples.
First, let me give you small history about my experience with depression. I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression when I was 16. This was treated with medication for about a year, until I realized that I didn't want to be on medication for the rest of my life. I was determined to fight it on my own, so I stopped taking the meds and I started doing other things. It only took about a year for it to clear up completely on it's own after that. And seriously, the things I did to achieve this were relatively simple. Sometimes it was just a matter of forcing myself to get up, take a shower, and go out with friends. I would ALWAYS feel good at the end of the day when I would force myself to go out and do something fun. Exercise, change in diet, and positive thinking were the other major factors in reversing my depression. Your thoughts are a powerful weapon. If you keep telling yourself you're an amazing, beautiful person with tons to offer, eventually you'll start to believe it. If you force yourself to think of happy things instead of depressing ones, after a while your mood will lift on it's own. Even forcing yourself to smile can help; it's been scientifically proven to create a lifted mood because of the way the movement stimulates the brain. (
http://www.wireheading.com/dbs/index.html) I also started to take St. John's Wort, fish oil, iron, potassium, vitamin D, and B-12 vitamins. I'd sit out in the sun. I'd pamper myself and get all dolled up, because it's true: when you look good, you feel good! I started finally talking about my problems, being angry when I needed to be angry, and crying when I needed to cry. I just let myself feel. All of that stuff combined was a huge step in fighting my depression on my own. I was depression-free and a very happy person for a few years until I joined the military, which is when the PTSD hit, and which is what I believe was a large factor in my addiction to opiates. As far as the PTSD goes, even the worst of the symptoms have cleared exponentially over time on their own. So there you have it: living proof that depression is easily curable by a few completely natural and easy methods. Or you can always just keep taking the anti-depressants. Either way, two easy fixes and you'll be good to go.
Opiate addiction is far more complicated, far more painful, far more dangerous, and far more depressing. So.
Reason #1 I feel opiate addiction is worse: Your only two choices are to keep getting high, or try to quit for good. And they both suck. And no amount of exercise, change in diet, or positive reinforcement on your part is going to help you with either of them. If you stay on the opiates, one of three things will happen. One, you'll lose everything- money, your family, your job... I mean
everything. Two, you'll end up in jail- whether it's for possession or for something you were trying to do to keep your high. Depression doesn't drain your bank account or send you to jail. Three, and
reason #2 I feel opiate addiction is worse... you'll die, whether it's through a failure in your system or an overdose. Depression doesn't kill you.
Reason #3: Even if you make the "right" decision and get off the opiates, it's not a quick fix by any means. You still have hell to pay. You're either just replacing one opiate for another, safer opiate (and by safer, I mean the government is regulating your addiction instead

) like Subs or Methadone. This is just maintenance and a way to avoid withdrawals. Which brings me to
reason #4: Aside from the obvious fact that opiates can kill you, opiate addiction is JUST as much physical as it is mental... unlike depression. It doesn't matter if you quit cold turkey, taper down, or get on Methadone or Subs and try to wean yourself down. Once you completely quit ANY opiate, you go into severe withdrawal. Pain you can't possibly try to imagine unless you've been through it yourself. Everything hurts, even your insides hurt. It makes the little aches and pains you get with depression sound like heaven. Your system is literally going haywire because it doesn't know how to function on it's own anymore. It's like your body asks itself, "What the hell am I supposed to do with my digestive and respiratory and circulatory and nervous systems without my opiate receptors being occupied?" Also unlike with depression, and like someone else said earlier, you
can't just force yourself to get up and exercise, or go out with friends, or even eat. You can't stay hydrated, or keep your anxiety and depression levels down, or keep your temperature regulated (chills and cold sweats in the middle of summer FTW), or stop the bone and joint pain and muscle aches... not even with Ibuprofen. Your body literally won't let you do even the most basic of things. I've never heard of depression physically preventing
anyone from eating, sleeping, walking, etc. Depression doesn't make you feel like it's snowing outside in 80 degree weather with blankets wrapped around you. Depression doesn't cause any sort of aches or pains that some sort of pain killer won't cure. And of course, with opiate addicts, the only pain killer that can cure it is the one that we are forbidden to take. The withdrawals alone should be enough to help you understand why opiate addiction is worse than depression. But anyway.
Reason #5 I feel opiate addiction is worse: With opiate addiction, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Clinical depression was a walk in the park compared to the way I felt in withdrawals... hell, even the way I feel now after a year of being on the Subs. I'm still a confident person and I still have tons of ambition, but at the same time... none of it matters. It's like all the progress I made from my depression was annihilated, and then some. At least with clinical depression, I could still find enjoyment in small things. In opiate withdrawals, even petting my freaking dog would make me cry. Opiate addiction puts you into a black hole. Even if a person does manage to get off and stay clean, the threat of relapse is always lurking just around the corner. Just seeing a Vicodin could change everything in the blink of an eye. It's so easy to fuck up your life all over again, and so hard to force yourself not to.
Reason #5 I feel opiate addiction is worse kind of ties in to the last one. Sooner or later, and especially as we get older, we are likely to be forced into a situation that will require us to take some sort of strong pain killer aka opiates. So unless they develop some sort of miracle painkiller that's as strong as opiates but isn't actually an opiate, most of us are going to have to take them again eventually. We won't have a choice. And saving the least for last, here's
reason #6 I feel opiate addiction is worse: there is a stigma associated with opiate addicts that clinical depression doesn't have. Would you tell a depression person, "Hahaha you're depressed, so you're a fucking loser... you should just go cut yourself"...? No, you wouldn't, unless you were a heartless bitch. Most people would just want to help you. While most people have finally acknowledged that addiction is in fact a disease, a lot of people still don't take it seriously and refuse to acknowledge that we are actually suffering a lot of the time. I have had a few people straight up throw my addiction in my face. My brother actually told me once, "Your life is worthless anyway, why don't you just go take some more Vicodin," and then threw his prescription at me. That's like the equivalent of telling a suicidal person that their life is meaningless and worthless anyways so they should just go and off themselves, and then handing them a gun. It's not okay. I've had people admit that once they found out I was trying to get clean from an opiate addiction, it changed the way they thought of me. Even though I was still the same person. A lot of people don't want to help you, they don't care to try and understand what you're going through. In their eyes, it's your fault for getting addicted in the first place and you deserve to suffer... and you sure as hell aren't going to bring them down with you, so they're going to get the hell away from you now. A lot of people are ignorant; when they think "opiates", they think "junkie"... and that you're just going to get them in trouble or try to get them hooked too. Which is screwed up, because it's not even like that. Doctors and medical professionals will treat you differently sometimes too; some might even refuse to prescribe you something that you might actually need, like benzo's, just because it has addictive properties. Because getting addicted to opiates means that you'll become addicted to everything else too, of course. All of these things are absolutely ridiculous, but it's a prime example of what happens when you have the stigma of being an opiate addict. Even the people who mean well don't get it or take it as seriously as it really is. I've been told that I just need to get off of the Suboxone already, that I should have just dealt with the withdrawals, that they couldn't have been that bad in the first place, and so on and so forth. Or they ask me why I got addicted to begin with. Or they'll forget and I'll receive a Facebook or text message every once in a while saying, "Hey I have some Vicodin/Percocet/Oxy I need to get rid of, do you or anyone else you know want any?" Do they really think that if I didn't have to be going through this, I wouldn't be? Because trust me, if I could be completely opiate free right now, including the Subs, I would be. It's just not that easy, plain and simple. It's not like you just decide you want to get off of opiates one day and then it magically happens. And no matter how many times I try to explain this to certain people, they still don't understand. They don't know what it's like to have to take a pill every morning just to make it through the day and feel somewhat normal, and that if I don't take my Suboxone, it will feel like I'm being physically and mentally tortured for some indefinite amount of time. When I tell people it's because I'm not ready to get off the Subs and I don't want to risk a relapse, they ask me why I'm threatening to take Vicodin. I am not threatening to take anything for crying out loud, I'm saying that if I get off of it
before I'm ready, the risk of relapse is much higher and a very real possibility. It's so freaking frustrating, I swear you can't win. It's a lose-lose situation. Depression isn't at the receiving end of all this bullshit the way opiate addicts are.
Anyway, those are my and probably most other opiate addicts reasons. People with clinical depression just don't have to deal with all of that stuff on top of being depressed. They still have CHOICES in their lives. The only choices opiate addicts have both suck. If a depressed person decides to "quit" depression, they can do it without going through withdrawals and without feeling like they're being tortured every second of the day. Another thing that seems to make opiate addiction worse: opiates can completely screw up your brain chemistry... like for real screw it up. Look up PAWS if you don't believe me. I mean, it kills your brain's natural pleasure center after a while. No more dopamine = no more smiling when you see a rainbow, or a cute puppy, or a sunset. All of the small pleasures in life are gone after a while. I can still find some sort of joy in things, but not anywhere close to the way I used to. I'm not 100% off of opiates yet so I guess I won't know for a few more years, but I'm just hoping I didn't do some sort of permanent damage and that I'll still be able to feel things once I get off of the opiates for good. I'm not saying that depression is a walk in the park either, but compared to opiate addiction it kind of is.
So there you have it. And I am getting off my soapbox now
