Addicted to Taking Pills

[Cadeblue]

I know that sounds kind of like "well, duh, aren't we all?" but this is what I have figured out about myself & I'm wondering a few things:

I finally got my pain doc to put me on methadone. I wanted to be on it b/c I was abusing my oxycodone & would end up running out of it 2 weeks early every month. When I went to the methadone clinic here in town, they seemed to think I should just 'fess up to my pain doc & see what he said. Well, I didn't 'fess up to my doc, I just asked about methadone & he was willing to try it.

Anyway, what I was hoping would happen is I would get on methadone & would be able to "manage" my life & my addiction this way, but what I've found is that I'm just pretty much abusing my methadone now. I know all the hazards of taking too much methadone, so the only good thing is that I'm not taking as much over my prescribed amount as I was when I was abusing the oxycodone, but I'm still running out a few days or a week early.

I've come to the conclusion that what my problem is is that I'm not only an addict in general to opiates, but I'm addicted to the habit of taking pills all day long. The methadone holds me just fine, but I can't seem to just go the rest of the day w/o taking more pills. I have this obsession that I need to take more pills so that I will "feel better" even though I know in my mind that I am not going to feel any better or different taking more methadone.

Am I making any sense? Is this obsession of taking pills separate in itself from being addicted to the drugs themselves? If it is, as I think it is, how do I break myself of this pattern/habit? It's kind of like tapering in a way, I have no will power not to take more pills later in the day even though I don't need to take any more.

Just BTW, I'm prescribed 40mgs/day & usually end up taking 2 or 3 at most more making it 60 or 70mgs I end up taking. I do plan to see if my doc will up my dose this next appt & see if once my doseage is a bit higher, maybe I will be ok not to take anymore, I just don't know.

 

[Tiefling]

Addiction is all encompassing. Youre brain is associative and knows popping pills=good time so youre addicted to the process as well. Ask anyone here. If Im sick and I stab myself with a needle, I feel better. I dont do it but I know people who do and I certainly start feeling better before I ever push down on the plunger. If Im NOT sick sure Ill go do another shot even when I dont need it or worse when I know my veins are in a pinch and Im gonna stab myself a thoasand times for a shot I dont need. Every pill snorter has a special place in their hearts for a mirror and a good card. I still check out gift cards and such when Im out to see how sturdy they are lol Basically yea youre addicted to the act too but its because its associated with getting high. Drugs addicts are experts at rewiring their brains lol

 

[TheLostBoys]

Some people are addicted to the ritual/act of doing the drug as much as the drug itself. I myself could care less about the act as long as I take care of my back pain. One day I may need more pain meds than other days, just depends on the pain.

It seems people that snort pills get addicted to the ritual of snorting the pill itself. Same goes with shooting up.

 

[Cadeblue]

Addiction is all encompassing. Youre brain is associative and knows popping pills=good time so youre addicted to the process as well. Ask anyone here. If Im sick and I stab myself with a needle, I feel better. I dont do it but I know people who do and I certainly start feeling better before I ever push down on the plunger. If Im NOT sick sure Ill go do another shot even when I dont need it or worse when I know my veins are in a pinch and Im gonna stab myself a thoasand times for a shot I dont need. Every pill snorter has a special place in their hearts for a mirror and a good card. I still check out gift cards and such when Im out to see how sturdy they are lol Basically yea youre addicted to the act too but its because its associated with getting high. Drugs addicts are experts at rewiring their brains lol

Ok, this make so much sense to me. Thanks for helping me understand this.

 

[Warped Reality]

I completely understand where you're coming from but I'm not going to relate to you because I fucking hate this forum and I get nothing but assholes insulting me on it.

Yes im addicted to taking pills too.

 

[Cadeblue]

I completely understand where you're coming from but I'm not going to relate to you because I fucking hate this forum and I get nothing but assholes insulting me on it.

Yes im addicted to taking pills too.

Hmmm, interesting response. Sorry that you are in the same boat as I am & hope you're having a better day today.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Let a partner or family member dispense your medications to you.

This is an easy fix right here, I've advised many people to do this when running out early becomes a problem. It hasn't been a problem with any medication I've been prescribed, but if it was, I would let my fiancee hold onto it and she would give me it as directed.