Not sure what to do anymore

[Subliminal]

I guess i will give you a bit of a back story, i have had depression and anxiety for a little while but was told that councilling would no longer be needed last year. I was involved in a car crash where my life could have been taken from me, this should have made me appreciate life a lot more but for me it made me feel i wasn't worthy of living at this time suicidal thoughts always went through my head.

I am only the age of 19 and seems to let my anxiety get the best of me. Every relationship i have been in leads to me being attached which always makes to break up hard for me. I go through crazy crazy thought cycles where things just keep running through my head and it always end up being my fault, i have tried every technique to stop thing but it never works. I have never told anyone thing before because i know its not normal i just feel like i will be judged for it.

Only yesterday i went out with a girl on a date which was pretty much a whole day thing, we ended up holding each other and i ended up getting a kiss. When i went home she told me she was going to be doing speed for the first time. Today she messaged me at about 2pm just saying hey and that she hasnt been able to sleep, so i started talking and she said she enjoyed seeing me the most of the night and then all of a sudden she stops talking to me without a goodbye, can see she has been on facebook and that sort of thing but hasnt said a word to me, should i wait for tomorrow night to say something?

i have been to the doctors and he just let me talk for about 20 seconds and then gave me a script to shut me up, guess going to another doctor would stop that or are most of them like that?

 

[panic in paradise]

^ sounds like you are seeing a psy-chiatrist, they specialize mostly in some diagnostics and prescribing medication.

you can see a general therapist, a psychologist, or a counselor - they are all examples of medical professionals that specialize in talk therapy, and giving some fed-back as-well.


but, most important is you staying up;-) -keeping track of yourself etc.

 

[Subliminal]

^ sounds like you are seeing a psy-chiatrist, they specialize mostly in some diagnostics and prescribing medication.

you can see a general therapist, a psychologist, or a counselor - they are all examples of medical professionals that specialize in talk therapy, and giving some fed-back as-well.


but, most important is you staying up;-) -keeping track of yourself etc.

i should have specified, i was seeing a counselor over last year and i found it to be good talking things through but now it really doesn't do anything for me, cant stop over thinking things

 

[panic in paradise]

do you write these thoughts out ever?

well, you are here and thats great... but i mean hand-written. personally anyway that helps myself drop some weight from my mind and balance things out, to extents.

normally what is helpful for me about this, is i find a way to relate w/e situation i am going through, into one that is relative in my surroundings, this can put things and especially myself into a different perspective.


my
0.02 any-who

 

[effie]

Sounds like you need something a bit different to a counsellor now - counsellors are amazing for talking through issues and helping you understand yourself better, but if you are over thinking things then something like CBT or psychotherapy might help you more. Have you tried anything like that? CBT is great for terminating bad thought cycles, it's hard work but once you've got the skills you have em for life

Not all doctors listen to you for 20 seconds then through drugs at you! It's definitely worth shopping around. Here in the UK psychiatry appoinments are for about an hour initially and you should get the chance to explain everything to them before they decide on treatment. Obv it does't always happen like that, but I am sure you can find someone who will listen for longer than 20 seconds.

As for the girl - maybe she got a bit strung out, maybe she fell asleep and forgot she'd been talking to you - If I were you I'd send her a friendly message asking how she is. If she doesn't reply to that then maybe leave it for a bit and chat to her once she's over the comedown?

 

[Asclepius]

^ This.

Hey Subliminal! Some Doc's can be very dismissive and just love writing scripts IMO, might be advantageous for you to seek Psychotherapy or something of that Nature, especially if you need to talk things out and want to be actively involved in understanding your own processes. It is easy to blame ourselves when things dont seem to go according to plan and being stuck in that cycle of insecurity, erodes our self -esteem long term and veils the truth(just as much as blaming others does!)
I wouldnt take the lack of closure on your conversation, personally, with the girl, after all, she initiated the contact that time but there is nothing wrong with 'wondering'. We are always picking up cues from people that give us vital information about us and them and everything in-between, reacting to this with a spirit of objectivity in the moment is really the most fruitious way to approach such circumstances; until we can process the situation along with how we are feeling, before we make a balanced judgement for ourselves. You just need to trust your own 'knowing'.

If you are still raw and insecure at the moment remember to take this into account with regard to your life at present, seems like you are 'troubleshooting' alot and this makes perfect sense if you are feeling especially vulnerable/unsure. Taking cues from other people alone in this state will lead to an unsatisfactory outcome, so it would be helpful for you to look for support(that works for you) so you can enjoy being yourself more instead of seeing yourself as a 'problem' in your own life.
You sound like someone who craves security in their relationships and maybe you have legitimately intuited that this girl is more interested in herself than you, or, maybe it was just a mindless, unintentioned action on her part, because she was high; either way, time will only tell you about how she treats people(especially you) and if you feel, your not getting the respect you deserve/need then you can make your decisions on this-hopefully without blaming yourself unfairly!

Just try and concentrate on what you need for yourself at present, other people will be doing their own thing regardless and you need to look after yourself first

 

[Subliminal]

Thankyou everyone for your input, i have taken on as much of it as possible. I will be booking myself into see a councilor again to stop this hurt that i am feeling, really need to work on my life at the moment it is complete shit :'(

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Having a car accident can be really rough, even when your life wasn't at risk from the accident, so I can imagine how much worse it is when you could have very easily not been walking away from that.

Stay in counseling/therapy as long as you feel you need to be. If a counselor wants to refer you to other people - that's great, but if they think you're done and you aren't, let them know that! There's nothing shameful or wrong about needing help, as all of us need help from time to time.

Most of the people who don't have a therapist probably need one anyways, and a lot of the people who have very negative things to say about psychology/psychiatry are often the people who have the MOST to work on mentally.

I am hoping things work out for you - let us know when you're back in counseling, I'm sure you'll feel a lot better then.

 

[forums1969]

I know how you feel for the past six months I have been having anxiety, depression and just recently found out OCD issues. Trust me they suck and for me some days are better then others I have been trying to think positive, but it is hard for me to do. What happens to me is I will get a negative thought like my girlfriend is cheating and I wont be able not to think about it and it drives me crazy. I really want to look into the CBT and see if it works, but right now money is tight so I am hoping for a job soon. I'll I want to do is get my life back on track and get on with it being happy again.

 

[Bojangles69]

You can actually read into females behavoir very easily they aren't some mystical creatures that are hard to figure out, trust me. It just takes experience and time + a dedication to figure them out. The venusian arts along with NLP (best thing in the world for reading peoples body language/behavoirs) are a great starting point for this I did 4 years of it myself.

Anyway DO NOT message her, talk to her, or any of that crap. And do not "wait" till tommorow to "say something". Do NOT wait at all. And don't say ANYTHING. If she calls you can't speak, your time is precious and you have other shit going on besides her.
Don't give her any other idea besides that because you will chase her away.

The second I notice a female take a step back I take 2 steps back, then do something called "DHV injections". It would take to long to explain but its a psychological thing that nearly all women respond to. I'd honestly just cut her off completely and go get "The Venusian Arts Handbook". If you are dating, trying to date, seeing girls, its a must read and really the least you can do for yourself in terms of learning how to deal with women. You got to think of seduction/dating like a game of chess. Noone is born knowing how to play it. Some learn naturally on their own and others learn accidentally by just happening to do the right shit when they are young.
But "games" (I don't call them that because they're more like genetically/evolutionary designed mating strategies) are played by EVERY species know to exist when it comes to reproduction. There are fish that have to execute a very difficult dance perfectly, and scientists have shown if the male fish is off as much as a centimeter the female will refuse his advances.

If thats what fish are doing, could you imagine what human beings/women are programmed to respond to? The M3 model is likely one of the best models designed to address this.
I honestly would next this girl, get the venusian arts handbook, google "M3 model of seduction" then worry about finding a new chick to date later, or finding a new 10 chicks to date lol.

 

[Subliminal]

Thankyou for everyone for being there for me, i have come such a long way since i last updated. I have been seeing a councilor and things have been going great for me, i have taken up the lifestyle of a buddhist and it has helped me with leaps and bounds. I am not on medication because i refuse to do so, my drug usuage is slowly coming down and easing up which i am proud of aswell. Its really one of the times in my life where i can feel good about myself, i am living in the present moment taking every day as it comes. I really hope to never have those thoughts in my head again because they just wernt who i really was. I thank you all once again