Yup... for me, it's more than just getting high... it's an exploration of my own mind and how it operates, in particular looking at desire and fear.
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MDPV Megathread 6: neko's cum guzzling cock juggling extravaganza!!
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Yup... for me, it's more than just getting high... it's an exploration of my own mind and how it operates, in particular looking at desire and fear.
nekointheclouds
Bluelight Crew
Ugh, MDPV brings back some bad memories, I used to be addicted to the stuff, swore I was having a great time on it and adored it. When it was made illegal here I was stricken by grief...
But looking back, it was the darkest time of my life, living without sleep, without food. Wasting days tweaking insignificant things, not leaving my house for ages and being unsocial... occasionally experiencing delusions and the beginning of psychosis, but that's not the worst of it.
The health anxiety MDPV gave me was the worst of it, every single day I'd find new "symptoms", spend hours reading up on them and foolishly thinking that I had all these life threatening diseases or problems, leading to the occasional panic attack where I felt like I might die within the day, once even thinking my gallbladder had suddenly stopped working.
When the MDPV ban was announced, my vendor was getting rid of their stock at a bargain price, I bought several grams which caused me to use far more of the stuff than I was accustomed to, which eventually led me to rush to the doctors during a panic attack where I thought I had some sort of pneumonia which would lead my lungs to collapse...rationality gone after 4 days of no sleep. I later realized what I thought was something life threatening was merely some bad heart burn due to me not eating for so long...
The amount of things MDPV caused me to diagnose myself with is absolutely shameful.
It brought me within inches of a nervous break down.
There were even times when I'd stick my finger into the baggie and insufflate what was on my finger when I was in too much of a hurry to weigh doses.
With all of that, you'd think I'd have learnt a lesson quickly and flushed the stuff, but no, a small break and I was back to wasting my life away fiending on the stuff...
I even deluded myself into thinking I could use MDPV to help me learn and study... haha, small chance, instead I'd spend 4 days tweaking my Windows install in every way imaginable.
When it was banned and I knew of no vendors to get it from, it was, looking back, the greatest thing to happen to me. (Though of course it was my fault for letting it get to that stage, so I'm not glad because MDPV was banned, but because I couldn't get hold of it, selfish as that sounds).
While this stuff can be as enjoyable as all hell, it can also be vile and life destroying. I hate being vulgar, but I've got to emphasize this as much as possible: Treat MDPV with fucking repest, don't underestimate it, don't sneak in doses thinking it'll be harmless, MDPV deserves to be treated as a hardcore drug, likely with as much abuse potential as methamphestime. Many will disagree, I've never had meth, but MDPV seems as likely as meth to cause heavy sleep deprivation and everything which goes along with it, don't be fooled by MDPV's clean and somewhat moderate effects. (By moderate effects, I mean plain stimulation without the body buzz/euphoria often associated with drugs)
What feels fine and harmless while on MDPV may appear a lot more overpowering and regrettable post-use.
MDPV's main problem is that it can become a drug of habit, like smoking, something which you can use daily and seemingly still be productive... any drug which can end up replacing sobriety has to be used with caution.
I often wonder how much I damaged my body during that phase...drugs themselves may not be damaging to the body, but only a fool would say things such as sleep deprivation, starvation, constant stimulation, sitting in the same position for days on end and occasional mild psychosis is harmless.
I realize there have been countless similar warning sin the past, and that most people won't be interested in this, or foolishly believe they have enough self-control and will to control MDPV, as I thought once too, but it's a warning I feel compelled to echo.
I've been avoiding all stimulants since then, even caffeine, but I got hold of some MPA in a bundle from a vendor recently and using it has brought back all sorts of dark MDPV memories... I'm on MPA and MDAI right now (Hence the wall of text, sorry!), so you can't call me a drug hater from this post.
Everything you just said, its my life. Just not to the ban yet. waiting.
You might be surprised... My 'last order' 3-gram lollapalooza blow-out binge actually proved to be one of my best. Certainly the best I'd had in a long time.
The thing is, I've always found with PV... the longer I go, the juicier it gets. Which also includes the paranoia getting stronger, but hey... you gotta pay to play
But on my last binge, by the 3rd gram... I was in heaven
It's like once I've given it a few days to get me all worked up and anxious and shit, I get used to feeling those things, and I then I can really go bonkers and have my fun. Everyones different, but for me I always liked to drag it on as lonnnnnnnng as possible.
nekointheclouds
Bluelight Crew
You just have to settle into your Peevee psychosis is all, then things get fun.
Nothing like chasing one of my cats around my apartment complex after they get out at 4am while I'm on day three of a holy binge. Yes, chase that fast moving chunky dark shadow creeping between cars. Its okay Neko, its just a cat!
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Nothing like chasing one of my cats around my apartment complex after they get out at 4am while I'm on day three of a holy binge. Yes, chase that fast moving chunky dark shadow creeping between cars. Its okay Neko, its just a cat!
LOL - pesky kittens...
I love my cats when I'm on MDPV... They get all suspicious of me when I'm tweaking... probably 'cause I act like I'm retarded..
Haha.. I always read waaaay too into their actions too, on PV. I'll be watching my cat (who's name is mouse :D) and she'll glance at the door way and then perk her ears and I'll start freaking out like, 'Ok SEE! It's not just me... she sees it too. The shadow people must be around the corner!!!'
I love my cats when I'm on MDPV... They get all suspicious of me when I'm tweaking... probably 'cause I act like I'm retarded..
Haha.. I always read waaaay too into their actions too, on PV. I'll be watching my cat (who's name is mouse :D) and she'll glance at the door way and then perk her ears and I'll start freaking out like, 'Ok SEE! It's not just me... she sees it too. The shadow people must be around the corner!!!'
I'd agree, up to a certain point. There's always a point where it starts getting shitty, I'm looking at my hands and seeing them discolored, my feet seem to have swelled up some and are discolored, my knees seem slightly purple, my hair is a mess, etc... that's usually when it ends, for me, when that gets really ugly. Hard to tell how much of it is real and how much mild hallucinating, at that point.You might be surprised... My 'last order' 3-gram lollapalooza blow-out binge actually proved to be one of my best. Certainly the best I'd had in a long time.
The thing is, I've always found with PV... the longer I go, the juicier it gets. Which also includes the paranoia getting stronger, but hey... you gotta pay to play
I don't think I could handle a three gram binge, quite honestly. One gram already goes on way too long.But on my last binge, by the 3rd gram... I was in heaven
Everyones different, but for me I always liked to drag it on as lonnnnnnnng as possible.
sighhill
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2011
- Messages
- 248
I thinks cats can smell it or something. Speaking of cats, the other night the Mrs. had to let me know the shadow people had a cat. I didn't want to hear anything from her past that. Her stories about the shadow family far surpast the heebee geebee level.
nekointheclouds
Bluelight Crew
I love them around when I tweaking, Inuyasha there is a great cuddle buddy.
But get them outside with me and its a differnt story.
But get them outside with me and its a differnt story.
How the heck can ya cuddle while tweaking? By definition it's tweaking... you can't sit still for long or relax (?).
SmokeaJoint
Bluelighter
Hows it kicking in here PV crew? Today's been relaxing as fuck, I feel great!
Purty good here... slept last night, and am currently finishing up the dregs of that last run (dissolved in liquid).
Peace...
It's cool that you're exercising... haven't done much myself since getting back into PV in January but sit on my lazy arse. Terribly unhealthy when combined with sleep deprivation & poor eating habits... uggh. I figure if PV ever gets me, it'll have something to do with that combination.
FlippingTop
Bluelighter
lol, I thought that was one almighty bag under your eye but I have just realised that it looks more like a black eye
Do you happen to have a bicycle laying around?
If ya do, pump up the tires a bit, throw a little lube on the chain, and go for a quick spin!
I think your right, lack of exercise is a dangerous thing to combine with PV. Unfortunately when one gets well into a binge often times exercise is the last thing they want to be doing. But if ya just get out and make yourself do it, it ends up feeling so good. It really helps yours body out. This part could very well be placebo, but my cardiovascular system feels SO much better on PV when I get moving, get the blood flowing.
Here's a tip for next time. When the PV arrives and you are about to indulge, put in down for a half hour or so and do something that will get your heart racing. Either biking, running, jogging, walking, or whatever floats your boat. Even just a short one.
When you come back, and your endorphins are still running from the exercise, your heart still pumping, try some PV. For me, this feels GREAT. If it feels good enough, it might motivate you to get up and do some exercise in the middle of binge.
It's just a great way to keep things feeling up and healthy, also makes the PV a bit stronger :D
FlippingTop
Bluelighter
I have to agree.
Each morning I take:
Multi Vitamin
Omega 3,6,9
Cod liver Oil
L-tryosine (dopamine precursor)
B vitamin complex (helping out me GABA receptors due to alcohol/GBL abuse)
Along side eating well. These make a real difference. Pushing myself working out for an hour or soleaves endorphins lying about which make me feel great all day! Not only that but you also sleep better too.
Soon to start taking piracetam aswell, only havn't started yet due to my lack of empty capsules (that stuff tastes SO bad!)
If anyone does not exercise or take supplements you are missing out
Each morning I take:
Multi Vitamin
Omega 3,6,9
Cod liver Oil
L-tryosine (dopamine precursor)
B vitamin complex (helping out me GABA receptors due to alcohol/GBL abuse)
Along side eating well. These make a real difference. Pushing myself working out for an hour or soleaves endorphins lying about which make me feel great all day! Not only that but you also sleep better too.
Soon to start taking piracetam aswell, only havn't started yet due to my lack of empty capsules (that stuff tastes SO bad!)
If anyone does not exercise or take supplements you are missing out
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It would be a good idea... I've been so sedentary, it's ridiculous. Sitting in the computer chair for 8 hour stretches, with short breaks. This is insane. You're right, I gotta get moving around more somehow.
^ I know how it is, for the first half or so of my heavy usage year, I was pretty much stationary, in front of the computer, going in between BL porn and video games
But once I started getting out for rides by the ocean, or a river, or through the forest... I discovered a whole new side of MDPV. It became almost like an obsession, I'd go find a beautiful spot all to myself and fix up a shot, and enjoy (for a bout 30 seconds, then the shadow people would catch up to me and I'd have to relocate).
But it's really cool if you get in the groove of it. I wouldn't expect this from such a straight stimulant, but it really makes me appreciate nature / natural beauty a lot.
But once I started getting out for rides by the ocean, or a river, or through the forest... I discovered a whole new side of MDPV. It became almost like an obsession, I'd go find a beautiful spot all to myself and fix up a shot, and enjoy (for a bout 30 seconds, then the shadow people would catch up to me and I'd have to relocate
).But it's really cool if you get in the groove of it. I wouldn't expect this from such a straight stimulant, but it really makes me appreciate nature / natural beauty a lot.
SmokeaJoint
Bluelighter
I'm struggling to deal with being sober. Its not very fun.
Nature walks on PV... man you make that sound awesome! Now that its finally warm again, I think I'll do that.
Nature walks on PV... man you make that sound awesome! Now that its finally warm again, I think I'll do that.