I'm new to the site and will apologize up front if this belongs in another section or if this topic has been brought up a few times before because a similar thread lead me to the site in the first place. I feel though that in my specific circumstances an individual thread is required.
Before I get to the gut question let me provide you with a little background on things that may or may not be possible reasons for me not being able to experience any type of high off of anything these days :/
I got involved with drugs about two years ago and as most started my journey with smoking. I have an extremely bad stomach and the high school drinking party scene was not for me (I threw up every time no matter how little I drank
). I had smoked weed a few times previously and decided I'd try it again. I moved and quickly became involved with the drug culture in my new town and began smoking daily. Due to life circumstances during this time I was extremely depressed and began to do everything possible to get high. Long story short I ended up being addicted to DXM for a few months (drinking 3 bottles of Robo a day). It finally ended when my friend and I started taking Dramamine regularly and took 900mg of Dramamine one night (bad idea...yes I know). Hhe ended up walking into my neighbors house at 4 in the morning (who was actually his Spanish teacher) and sat on her couch until she called the police. I was put on extreme lock down at home without any possible way to get dxm. The course of the next few weeks was extremely terrible and I barely remember it. For starters I experienced what I guess would be withdraws from the dxm and my depression took on a whole new low. But more importantly the extremely high dose of Dramamine had (and still to this day) disastrous effects on my life in general. My life felt for the course of the next year as if I was living in some type of alternate reality, some dream that if I could only wake from would bring me back to that night. Everything felt distant. My vision has been much blurrier since that night as well and I have trouble focusing on things and sometimes things seem to move around for no apparent reason (almost like some type of HPPD). I became "delusional" at this time and after a stint in a mental hospital ended up on a 3mg dose of Risperdal (Risperdone) to "balance me out". After things settled down and I began to forget how terrible things had been (The wanting to remember the high moment we all have) I went to try dxm again (probably five months later). I took 300mg and had the worst itching I have ever experienced in my life. I literally scratched myself to bleeding. And on top of this without any high what so ever. I then preceeded to try it again (for some odd reason) 3 more times over the course of the next few months with the same exact effect. I gave up and decided to stick to smoking because the risperdal made me a fucking empty vessel and the weed was the only thing that attached me to my emotions if only for a moment. Fast forwarding a bit (about half a year later) I snorted a large dose of 2ce. I waited for hours for the trip to begin just telling myself it was my metabolism or something. I had a vague short stint of slight close eye visuals and about 10 minutes of an odd body high but then absolutely nothing until I fell asleep. I read that Risperdal has an effect on certain drugs so I just figured it was my medicine. I also took 2.5g of shrooms at another point with the same exact experience. In November of last year I got sick of being the living dead and stopped taking my medicine. I have been a lot better since this point and have recovered greatly from my previous depression issues. I smoked once or twice since then and felt great but I was still reluctant to get back into any type of drug. About a month ago a friend who'd just gotten perks (high dose although I don't remember it) for a broken bone gave me two. I took them and it was exactly like the 2ce (without visuals obviously). A brief stint of an odd body feeling and then absolutely nothing as if I hadn't taken them at all while he was vegged out enjoying himself. He then gave me some E one a different day. I decided to take it one night as I'd had a stressful week and was ready for some relaxation and self reflection. I'm not sure of the dose of the pill as I really didn't care to ask because the prospect sounded so perfect with the shit going on. I took it orally, put on some Radiohead and watched some beautiful cinematic of the worlds oceans. I was perfectly relaxed and ready to be myself for a night. Two hours later I found myself rather pissed off with the same exact result of everything else. No high whatsoever. Weird body feeling for ten minutes and some weird kind of close eye visual (I wouldn't even go so far as to call it that) then nothing. It's been six months since the damn medicine and I would assume its worked its way out of my blood stream up to this point. The reason I told you all this back story you care nothing about is because this has become a rather large bother in my life. I discovered a spirituality in myself I had no idea existed from drugs and I truly believe that they have so much potential to enlighten if used properly. My birthday is closing in and the prospect of trying mushrooms again while camping has come up many times haha I just want to know what the hell the issue is and why nothing seems to work except for weed. I am 6'3'' and 199lbs. I realize I wasn't very informative as to doses but this is because I have always had to do more than the average person to get my high and I don't remember the exact amounts but I always take extra just in case. In the case of the Ecstasy I realize that it could have not been enough and it could have been a floozy but my history leads me to believe otherwise (and my trust in my friend who provided it).
Case and point for those who didn't take the time to read all this (who would!) I need some insight into possible reasons why nothing seems to get me high anymore! The risperdal is a key component I'd presume but I thought that after six months I'd be safe. And by the way don't ever let them put you on anti-psychotics. At first you think it's amazing because everything feels so whatever and nothing seems to upset you. And then you realize it's because you don't care about anything at all because you don't feel anything at all. Real zombies aren't nearly as cool as they are in the movies
Thank you for anyone who has any helpful feedback. I just want to feel that part of myself again that the meds hid from me and only drugs seem to be able to find and express.
Before I get to the gut question let me provide you with a little background on things that may or may not be possible reasons for me not being able to experience any type of high off of anything these days :/
I got involved with drugs about two years ago and as most started my journey with smoking. I have an extremely bad stomach and the high school drinking party scene was not for me (I threw up every time no matter how little I drank
). I had smoked weed a few times previously and decided I'd try it again. I moved and quickly became involved with the drug culture in my new town and began smoking daily. Due to life circumstances during this time I was extremely depressed and began to do everything possible to get high. Long story short I ended up being addicted to DXM for a few months (drinking 3 bottles of Robo a day). It finally ended when my friend and I started taking Dramamine regularly and took 900mg of Dramamine one night (bad idea...yes I know). Hhe ended up walking into my neighbors house at 4 in the morning (who was actually his Spanish teacher) and sat on her couch until she called the police. I was put on extreme lock down at home without any possible way to get dxm. The course of the next few weeks was extremely terrible and I barely remember it. For starters I experienced what I guess would be withdraws from the dxm and my depression took on a whole new low. But more importantly the extremely high dose of Dramamine had (and still to this day) disastrous effects on my life in general. My life felt for the course of the next year as if I was living in some type of alternate reality, some dream that if I could only wake from would bring me back to that night. Everything felt distant. My vision has been much blurrier since that night as well and I have trouble focusing on things and sometimes things seem to move around for no apparent reason (almost like some type of HPPD). I became "delusional" at this time and after a stint in a mental hospital ended up on a 3mg dose of Risperdal (Risperdone) to "balance me out". After things settled down and I began to forget how terrible things had been (The wanting to remember the high moment we all have) I went to try dxm again (probably five months later). I took 300mg and had the worst itching I have ever experienced in my life. I literally scratched myself to bleeding. And on top of this without any high what so ever. I then preceeded to try it again (for some odd reason) 3 more times over the course of the next few months with the same exact effect. I gave up and decided to stick to smoking because the risperdal made me a fucking empty vessel and the weed was the only thing that attached me to my emotions if only for a moment. Fast forwarding a bit (about half a year later) I snorted a large dose of 2ce. I waited for hours for the trip to begin just telling myself it was my metabolism or something. I had a vague short stint of slight close eye visuals and about 10 minutes of an odd body high but then absolutely nothing until I fell asleep. I read that Risperdal has an effect on certain drugs so I just figured it was my medicine. I also took 2.5g of shrooms at another point with the same exact experience. In November of last year I got sick of being the living dead and stopped taking my medicine. I have been a lot better since this point and have recovered greatly from my previous depression issues. I smoked once or twice since then and felt great but I was still reluctant to get back into any type of drug. About a month ago a friend who'd just gotten perks (high dose although I don't remember it) for a broken bone gave me two. I took them and it was exactly like the 2ce (without visuals obviously). A brief stint of an odd body feeling and then absolutely nothing as if I hadn't taken them at all while he was vegged out enjoying himself. He then gave me some E one a different day. I decided to take it one night as I'd had a stressful week and was ready for some relaxation and self reflection. I'm not sure of the dose of the pill as I really didn't care to ask because the prospect sounded so perfect with the shit going on. I took it orally, put on some Radiohead and watched some beautiful cinematic of the worlds oceans. I was perfectly relaxed and ready to be myself for a night. Two hours later I found myself rather pissed off with the same exact result of everything else. No high whatsoever. Weird body feeling for ten minutes and some weird kind of close eye visual (I wouldn't even go so far as to call it that) then nothing. It's been six months since the damn medicine and I would assume its worked its way out of my blood stream up to this point. The reason I told you all this back story you care nothing about is because this has become a rather large bother in my life. I discovered a spirituality in myself I had no idea existed from drugs and I truly believe that they have so much potential to enlighten if used properly. My birthday is closing in and the prospect of trying mushrooms again while camping has come up many times haha I just want to know what the hell the issue is and why nothing seems to work except for weed. I am 6'3'' and 199lbs. I realize I wasn't very informative as to doses but this is because I have always had to do more than the average person to get my high and I don't remember the exact amounts but I always take extra just in case. In the case of the Ecstasy I realize that it could have not been enough and it could have been a floozy but my history leads me to believe otherwise (and my trust in my friend who provided it). Case and point for those who didn't take the time to read all this (who would!) I need some insight into possible reasons why nothing seems to get me high anymore! The risperdal is a key component I'd presume but I thought that after six months I'd be safe. And by the way don't ever let them put you on anti-psychotics. At first you think it's amazing because everything feels so whatever and nothing seems to upset you. And then you realize it's because you don't care about anything at all because you don't feel anything at all. Real zombies aren't nearly as cool as they are in the movies
Thank you for anyone who has any helpful feedback. I just want to feel that part of myself again that the meds hid from me and only drugs seem to be able to find and express.
