Okay, so I’ll mention this to save someone else some trouble. There was this girl who I’ll call Crystal, because that was her name, who used to fuck me. It all started as a message I sent her on Myspace that read “you’re kinda cute” . Surprisingly, up till then she had been the only girl I’ve actually met and closed with from any social network….( believe me, I’m finding out now it’s easier than meeting girls at over cramped night clubs and bars with shitty music and reeking of sweaty assholes hounding the one hot girl too fucking drunk and stuck up to know her left foot from her right, who’s probably stuck in the mind frame to feed her ego and eat men’s pride along the way. I’ll pass those hoes.)
I’m 23 and she is 19. And if your story sounds along these lines, I think you’d agree with my last words of advice.
After we joked and flirted with messaging, it led to meeting. Meeting led to two dates. Two dates led to fucking. And so on. What I did do was call her “babe” even before we fucked. She called me "babe", and I got flattered and these little feelings started to spurt somewhere deep inside. Yes, the few that get to that point are actually the ones I remember. These things happen while your riding that wave of positive attention. It’s natural and awesome but remember to stick your head out for a while and breathe.
She lived across the world. (Actually it was more like a 40 minute drive, but it seems like that when neither has a car) so we rarely saw each other. (Has it’s good and bad things)
What I realized while we didn’t see each other she would text me and actually initiate the small talk and let me know she was thinking of me. I never did once start the texting. Weird. I would reply with how busy I was and leave it at that sometimes. From experience, it’s best to limit how often you text before you actually see and fuck a girl. Just take that pointer. I did always want to see her and all that good stuff, and she made it obvious she was always eager to see me, but since I was recent felon, jobless, and pretty fucking bummed on top of that, I focused on working on my priorities. I knew before anything that I was in no position to handle someone else life if mine was shit.
I'll also add, it becomes easier to push people away when you get older. It’s pretty fucked up now that I think about it.
So I met this girl on July. Around Nov. is when the reality bomb dropped. I say “around” because I know it was before x-mas. Not exactly sure when but the point is that usually one of you will wonder what the fuck is really going on after 2-3 months of only sex, not a lot of interacting, and being casual buddies.
When it started, I didn’t want a girlfriend. She must’ve wanted something and expected me to be “The Man” to step up and take things further. Men are supposed to do this. Right?
One day, we were set to meet a week prior, but I actually ended up canceling because I just didn’t feel like doing anything and I knew I was going to get pretty drunk at my friends place and she would see me that way and that shit isn’t cool. I blew her off. The second time in a row because like the first time, I was doing heroin and surprisingly she didn’t fidge about that. She was on her way to the place I was at after she was leaving the club, but my friend was too fucking dumb to give me ride to meet her half ways. I actually told her that I really did want to see her, but neither of us had a car and obviously by the time I realized it my friends and I were too drunk and stupid to drive anywhere.
She texted me
“uhhm…can I ask you something?”
“ yeah”
“what exactly are we?”
wow..i didn’t reply for about an hour.
“I just gotta know…lol”
At last I replied.
“you’re mine” ..i’ll leave it there…
seemed cute and like something a man would say… and i she gave me the option to choose.
Next time I see her she doesn’t want to hug, kiss, do anything. I just kept trying and teased her until it finally hit me I must be annoying the fuck out of her. I’m with her and her friends passing a blunt around and about 2 hrs in I’m bored off my fucking mind and so is she. What the fuck should I do, entertain them??
Well, that night we didn’t even kiss goodbye. I was rejected and by then I was pretty fucking pissed and felt judged by her friends. I was so focused on getting at least a blowjob out of her that I forgot to be in the moment and enjoy her friends company at least. What a perfectly good high gone to shit!!
Couple of days she texted me with the old “let’s just be friends line”. I guess she was determined to beat me to it.
my reply “I never promised anything dork” … didn’t contact her for weeks.
So later on she texts me some joke …. I don’t reply……….my last text was “stfu. Im working. Ttyl” her ”ok”
Haven’t heard of her since.
So who’s confused here? She seemed like the one who was more inclined to be together. And at the end she breaks it all off??
I think that as soon as she sensed I had feelings for her she freaked out. The paradox of the century. Maybe to keep the “win” streak when she tells her friends??? Fuck knows. I did start seeing myself as her boyfriend. So yeah it’s true. If you are a human, you will develop feelings, maybe you didn’t even know you have. But guard them, tred carefully. My mistake was prioritizing her. It was becoming obvious when I decided I wanted to meet her and even took a public bus to meet her half ways around the world!! How fucking lame!! Now she’s history. Lesson: don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Be a man slut and make it obvious she’s not your “main squeeze"…until you decide you want to settle. Happy hunting buddy…
I love a guy who can cook.
