Thank you. It appears my brilliance has not been reduced, then.
Actually, researchers have had a hard time nailing down real cognitive changes in former MDMA users. Most results show reduced ability to recall words after a period of delay. Others show an increase in impulsivity or novelty-seeking behavior. In most cases, the studies are flawed, due to things like continued use of marijuana or other drugs, which are also known to affect short-term memory. A recent study was designed to exclude those who took X while at a rave, those who used other drugs, and those who had a family history of mental illness. After controlling for all of these 'confounding factors' researchers claimed that no lasting cognitive difference could be established.
This is not a surprise to me, because other types of brain damage in the frontal lobes, often do not have any effect on IQ. However, these people often have mood disorders, such as anxiety...severe depression...decreased libido...increased libido, to name a few.
What do I think?
I think that this area of the brain is used to assign meaning to what the rest of the brain perceives. When you have a 'gut feeling' it is coming from this area. Your visceral self is connected to your intelligence through this network. Without this visceral connection, jacking off or taking a shit offers no 'meaning'. Seeing a naked woman, offers no 'meaning'. The shape of her breasts, her armpits, her waist-to-hip ratio, the smile on her face....all critical data for instant analysis by the male brain....
meaningless without this network. Make sense?
The incredible part is this visceral connection is run by the intestines. Your gut literally provides meaning to the brain. It is this intertwining of the physical with the mental that makes life
real. I have come to believe that the soul, if it exists, lies within this network.
That's why rolling is so awesome, right? Your tactile sensation is heightened to the point that you want to weep for joy. Am I wrong? Sex, along with other visceral activities, has a much greater impact on the emotional centers of the brain, especially the reward pathways.
By the way, Dr. Ricaurte has many published studies. It was a follow-up study that you are discrediting, not his original. In this follow-up, he claimed to have evidence that MDMA could cause damage to dopamine receptors, increasing the risk of Parkinson's disease. It was discovered, to his shame, that he injected extremely high doses of meth, not MDMA, to achieve these results. Unfortunately, this discredited him and allowed many people, including yourself, to ignore his first study.
His first study very clearly demonstrated that long-lasting alterations in seretonin pathways do occur in several regions of the brain. Even after seven years. Regardless of how troubling this data is to members of BL, this first study was good science.
Here is the link to 'the study'.
http://www.jneurosci.org/content/19/12/5096.long
Scroll down and check out the photos.
Is this the end all? No. There is a wealth of scientific data available, if you care to read it.
Consider the dose Ricaurte chose. He gave these monkeys the equivalent of 3-4 good size tabs (according to the mg's tested on my pills) per day, for 4 days! He gave each dose all at once and by injection. He wanted to make sure to induce highly toxic effects. You wouldn't spend millions of dollars and seven years of work to 'maybe' find evidence. Scientists use known toxic doses to ensure that they can study the effects.
Although some users are crazy enough to do 4 tabs, 4 days in a row....most are not. I separated my dose by seven days, but I still got fucked up. Honestly, I suspect the last half-tab I did contributed the most damage. It appears that re-dosing introduces ever higher quantities of toxic metabolites into the bloodstream. Do not re-dose, boys and girls!!
In humans, we can't cut your brain into thin slices and stain the receptors for photographing....at least not until you die. So the methods we have for measuring this network is limited. They look for proteins on SERT binding sites, and they have found evidence for some recovery. After about a year, cortical SERT binding appears to approach control levels. To me, that means that the intestines have mostly rewired themselves into the brain.
I doubt that the re-wiring is of equal quality to what was there before. But the constant gnawing of your endocrine system, which is driving the re-wiring process, probably tapers off around this time. Hence the reports of recovery by these ex users. If you constantly had stress hormones coursing through your system, you wouldn't have great short-term memory either. Imagine that a loved one died. On the days following this, would you perform well on such tests? Of course not.
My biggest questions for them revolve around their 'visceral' perceptions of life. Fuck word recall.
Do you climax as hard as you used to? How about digestion and shitting? Does a nice ass still turn you on? Does a great song still give you chills when you hear the best part? These are visceral questions.
Most of the ex-users I have found talk about being 'ok'. Well, that's not fucking specific enough for me. What does 'ok' mean?
As for your change in medication, somedud, careful coming off that SSRI. Taper it off, do NOT go cold-turkey. Also, SSRI could cause sex problems all on its own. And be aware that many SSRIs take months to take effect, and wear off. Could your concussion have contributed to your problem? Sure. The seretonin network is so complex that a multi-billion dollar industry exists to study it and produce medications. There are so many factors involved that it is hard to know for sure. I personally believe that the contents of my intestines at the time I freaked out played a major role in my toxicity. If only I had starved myself...
Anyways, a concussion likely caused a change a blood flow to a region of the brain, which is a possible contributor. If that area of the brain was not receiving adequate amounts of anti-oxidants or enzymes to break down the toxic metabolites....sure it could have worsened the problem. My instinct tells me that you would have had trouble anyways, bro.
Neuroreplete looks ok to me, but don't expect it to help too much. First of all, tyrosine and 5-htp have been reported by many others to increase their feelings of anxiety! I have tried 5-htp and I agree that it is difficult to assimilate.
I do not think the brain needs more of the amino acids in the diet, not if you are eating properly. It is not a lack of the raw materials that is causing our problems, it is a physical and electrical deformity in our brain-gut circuitry. Just because you are throwing more tryptophan into your intestines, does not mean the brain will automatically make the new connections it needs to. In fact, increases of seretonin in the brain are the primary cause of the mind-bending anxiety you feel. That's why smoking weed is very troublesome for most of us - it increases seretonin in the brain. So do carbohydrates in your diet. Eventually, enough receptors will pop up to receive this extra seretonin. The key here, is time.
What do I take? I take a multi-vitamin every day. I take small doses of liquid B vitamin drops daily (the pills are too much some days). I take fish oil three or four times per day! Fish oil improves the mylenation around nerve cells, like a lubricant of sorts. It potentiates the electrical charge traveling between nerves. I take Vit C with every meal. And remember, your brain is experiencing increased regional blood flow, so inflammation is a concern. Take 2 ibuprofen everyday, along with all the theanine and tumeric that you want. These will all fight inflammation.
But, above all the rest, Piracetam is the king. Not one of the supplements above causes the drastic change in mood that this one does. And it takes less than half a pill per day. Other people on this medication take up to ten times the dose I do. This suggests that Piracetam is THE medication for this type of damage. It claims to work by altering the permeability of cellular membranes. I imagine that my seretonin cells in my brain are trying to drill their way into new brain matter. A crude analogy for axonal resprouting, but it works for me. When you make these cells easier to penetrate, the process requires a lot less endochrine response to achieve the same amount of 'drilling'. Instead of a constant mind-bending effect, it now feels like something is just tickling my brain all day. And it also makes my intestines work a LOT better. Remember, they are the primary purpose for this network, and they drive the whole process.
Be ready to be shocked if you try Piracetam. Higher doses actually cause anxiety for me. I stick to quarter-pill doses. I cycle on and off the medication. The first two days going back on this drug are quite amazing. It feels a lot like rolling. No joke. It will teach you that seretonin, and not MDMA, is responsible for the 'magic'. It is not unusual for me to cry tears of joy when it hits my lower intestinal tract. Just be aware that no matter how normal it makes you feel, you are not fixed overnight. After a few days you get used to the change and you just feel ok. For this reason, I see value in going on and off this medication every few weeks. I always take my piracetam with fish oil - they work together.
Piracetam also makes me want to read and write. It is partially responsible for my desire to unload on these postings today. Yes, I was a very smart guy before this happened, but Piracetam motivates me to let it pour out onto the page.
I have spent a few months researching MDMA toxicity, and I have considered writing a summary of what I have learned for others to benefit from. I believe I have a unique ability to translate complicated technical information into plain-english. Perhaps I should start my own thread...
I hope this helps. Do not lose patience. When in doubt, find postings about people that take years to recover. It always makes me feel better when others have it worse than me and still claim that they are ok down the line. Even if its way down the line...