Is there hope for me?

[ControlDenied]

I think StrutterGear hit on something there. there is definitely a lack of a clear picture in how you present yourself here...being aggressive and wanting to use steroids [and thus attracting the wrath of beasts like Voxide], but claiming you're too shy and decrepit to function even on a basic level. I don't think any of us are qualified to help you, if you have mental illness, as you say, you need at least to try a few different therapists, doctors, treatments and drugs to start to get better.

also not everyone is normal, barely anyone is really. its normal to tell yourself you'll start working on something, but procrastinate. its even somewhat normal to be a hermit, especially in this day and age. "normal" is completely relative.

maybe you should take what Strutter said into consideration. maybe there's a dissonance or lack of harmony in your mind, which is the cause of your anxious paralysis. I'm not sure, since I can only truly know myself. You need to talk to a qualified mental health professional.

Also, you said your parents think you're a crackhead. Did you ever abuse any hard drugs? Being on them or recovering from them throws your perception [and everything else] out of whack.

 

[ControlDenied]

. I could care less if your own father assfucked you at 6 years old, you have no excuse for your behavior and need euthanization, or at least professional help.

I would "report" your post because of this horrible sentence, but the rest of your post has truth so I didn't. Anyway, don't be too harsh and angsty, even though it is the steroid forum and I know what those to do your levels of testosterone, impulse and anger control.

But it's true, I think self-pity is a big thing here. Welfare can often increase your self pity, because pity is the cause of the welfare being provided by your government [btw: I DONT think being on welfare is "bad", but if you COULD be doing better, it only weakens you].

Things could be a lot worse, so don't be so damn dramatic. Surely you can do a pushup or two. Then 5. Then 10. Then 20. Etc. From the pic you posted your body is obviously not handicapped... and I don't think you'd be so articulate if you had a debilitating mental illness. More of a personality disorder like social anxiety or borderline personality or schizoid or whatever.

Hang in there. This is my last post in this thread, it's too frustrating because it just reminds me of how much work I should be doing instead of fucking around on Bluelight and whatnot.

 

[Voxide]

I would "report" your post because of this horrible sentence, but the rest of your post has truth so I didn't. Anyway, don't be too harsh and angsty, even though it is the steroid forum and I know what those to do your levels of testosterone, impulse and anger control.

But it's true, I think self-pity is a big thing here. Welfare can often increase your self pity, because pity is the cause of the welfare being provided by your government [btw: I DONT think being on welfare is "bad", but if you COULD be doing better, it only weakens you].

Things could be a lot worse, so don't be so damn dramatic. Surely you can do a pushup or two. Then 5. Then 10. Then 20. Etc. From the pic you posted your body is obviously not handicapped... and I don't think you'd be so articulate if you had a debilitating mental illness. More of a personality disorder like social anxiety or borderline personality or schizoid or whatever.

Hang in there. This is my last post in this thread, it's too frustrating because it just reminds me of how much work I should be doing instead of fucking around on Bluelight and whatnot.

My post was not meant to offend, but to encourage. Without will power to move forward, we will never go anywhere. No matter what, it could ALWAYS be worse. Since I actually doubt that the scenario I posted really happened, (Though it may have, I'm not an idiot who assumes shit about people's lives over an internet board) my point is that most of his pain was self-inflicted. Even to those who have had to experience the horror of such abuse, they are out there leading successful lives and what not. There are nearly no excuses for dropping a basic education. Damn, I could understand if the guy was going somewhere in life, and just had some social anxiety issues, but this isn't the case at all. He fucks up in both categories. Sure, it sucks and is sure to elicit and emotional response, but when you look a bit deeper into the situation, you begin to feel a little bit less sorry for the guy. What truly blows my mind is the fact that this was posted here, and not in the Dark Side or some other appropriate forum. This is the exact reason steroids were made illegal. Because of STUPID people.



I happen to suffer from social anxiety issues myself, Tazer. According to the DSM-IV manual, I may very well be suffering from schizoid personality disorder at the moment. You wanna know my secret for coping with it all these years? Suck it up. Deal with it. Put it into a positive perspective, if you have to. Being a recluse isn't all bad, as long as you can still keep track of your life, which you can't even do. Something steroids will probably accelerate and make even worse. I still can't get over the fact that you think synthetic androgens would be good to kick-start your adrenal and endocrine system. You really have no clue what you're talking about. Roids beat the shit out of people who have spent their ENTIRE LIVES doing the exact opposite of what you're doing.

Nobody here is denying you help, but you cannot be helped if you don't even want to help yourself, for fucks sake. If you're still hell bent, then go ahead. Waste your money on a-bombs and take a few years off your lifespan. Be my guest. Prepare to be disappointed, bro. Even if you were a 250lb beast at 6'3, this wouldn't change a thing. You have a deep seeded anxiety disorder and you need counseling asap.

 

[Boracay]

rude

My post was not meant to offend, but to encourage. Without will power to move forward, we will never go anywhere. No matter what, it could ALWAYS be worse. Since I actually doubt that the scenario I posted really happened, (Though it may have, I'm not an idiot who assumes shit about people's lives over an internet board) my point is that most of his pain was self-inflicted. Even to those who have had to experience the horror of such abuse, they are out there leading successful lives and what not. There are nearly no excuses for dropping a basic education. Damn, I could understand if the guy was going somewhere in life, and just had some social anxiety issues, but this isn't the case at all. He fucks up in both categories. Sure, it sucks and is sure to elicit and emotional response, but when you look a bit deeper into the situation, you begin to feel a little bit less sorry for the guy. What truly blows my mind is the fact that this was posted here, and not in the Dark Side or some other appropriate forum. This is the exact reason steroids were made illegal. Because of STUPID people.


Voxide. You are a really rude person. i wonder if your mom or sister taught u that


I happen to suffer from social anxiety issues myself, Tazer. According to the DSM-IV manual, I may very well be suffering from schizoid personality disorder at the moment. You wanna know my secret for coping with it all these years? Suck it up. Deal with it. Put it into a positive perspective, if you have to. Being a recluse isn't all bad, as long as you can still keep track of your life, which you can't even do. Something steroids will probably accelerate and make even worse. I still can't get over the fact that you think synthetic androgens would be good to kick-start your adrenal and endocrine system. You really have no clue what you're talking about. Roids beat the shit out of people who have spent their ENTIRE LIVES doing the exact opposite of what you're doing.

Nobody here is denying you help, but you cannot be helped if you don't even want to help yourself, for fucks sake. If you're still hell bent, then go ahead. Waste your money on a-bombs and take a few years off your lifespan. Be my guest. Prepare to be disappointed, bro. Even if you were a 250lb beast at 6'3, this wouldn't change a thing. You have a deep seeded anxiety disorder and you need counseling asap.

Voxide. You are a really rude person. i wonder if your mom or sister taught u that

 

[-Guido-]

Well I rather you be tall and skinny than look like a guido with a shriveled up dick.

What a horrible, horrible, fucking morning...

 

[Captain.Heroin]

What a horrible, horrible, fucking morning...

Ignorance ruins my mornings too Guido.

Being raised in an environment in which making friends came easy doesn't hurt. Having friends is the opposite of not having confidence (usually). Having family that you can actually relate to is another plus. We all need a base to build on.

I - to some degree - actually relate to this guy. I beat myself up too much and don't take others serious enough. I also spend too much time being alone with a screen. I'm learning so much about myself through this thread.

I think confidence is something you find and build on within yourself at your own pace, though I could always be mistaken.

I appreciate your point of view though as it obviously wouldn't hurt to have these things.

 

[phr]

I like how it went from help me get bigger to a discussion about mental help. Maybe you need to take this to TDS.

 

[StrutterGear]

My post was not meant to offend, but to encourage. Without will power to move forward, we will never go anywhere. No matter what, it could ALWAYS be worse. Since I actually doubt that the scenario I posted really happened, (Though it may have, I'm not an idiot who assumes shit about people's lives over an internet board) my point is that most of his pain was self-inflicted. Even to those who have had to experience the horror of such abuse, they are out there leading successful lives and what not. There are nearly no excuses for dropping a basic education. Damn, I could understand if the guy was going somewhere in life, and just had some social anxiety issues, but this isn't the case at all. He fucks up in both categories. Sure, it sucks and is sure to elicit and emotional response, but when you look a bit deeper into the situation, you begin to feel a little bit less sorry for the guy. What truly blows my mind is the fact that this was posted here, and not in the Dark Side or some other appropriate forum. This is the exact reason steroids were made illegal. Because of STUPID people.



I happen to suffer from social anxiety issues myself, Tazer. According to the DSM-IV manual, I may very well be suffering from schizoid personality disorder at the moment. You wanna know my secret for coping with it all these years? Suck it up. Deal with it. Put it into a positive perspective, if you have to. Being a recluse isn't all bad, as long as you can still keep track of your life, which you can't even do. Something steroids will probably accelerate and make even worse. I still can't get over the fact that you think synthetic androgens would be good to kick-start your adrenal and endocrine system. You really have no clue what you're talking about. Roids beat the shit out of people who have spent their ENTIRE LIVES doing the exact opposite of what you're doing.

Nobody here is denying you help, but you cannot be helped if you don't even want to help yourself, for fucks sake. If you're still hell bent, then go ahead. Waste your money on a-bombs and take a few years off your lifespan. Be my guest. Prepare to be disappointed, bro. Even if you were a 250lb beast at 6'3, this wouldn't change a thing. You have a deep seeded anxiety disorder and you need counseling asap.

Alot of love for you man. I know some people have problems who need help, but self help and a "suck it up and do it" attitude shows massive character. Kudos

 

[tBirdee]

Voxide you are a fucked up person.

 

[Voxide]

Voxide. You are a really rude person. i wonder if your mom or sister taught u that

In your opinion, maybe. I'm sure your personal attacks in the thread which you got banned in weren't rude at all, huh? 8)

I like how it went from help me get bigger to a discussion about mental help. Maybe you need to take this to TDS.

That's all it really was from the beginning. The mental issues are obvious even in the first post. I really think this thread should be moved.

Alot of love for you man. I know some people have problems who need help, but self help and a "suck it up and do it" attitude shows massive character. Kudos

Thanks man. All it really even needs to be is a "attempted self-help" and that will be enough. Either fix your irrational compulsions, or live with them and be proud of who you are. But don't ever complain and try breaking the law just to lie to yourself.

Voxide you are a fucked up person.

If that's how you see it, then surely I'm not the only psycho in here.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Well I rather you be tall and skinny than look like a guido with a shriveled up dick. I never liked guys with a lot of muscles anyways.

There is this much-circulated misconception about steroids making the penis smaller. The fact is that steroids can make the testicles shrink but not the penis. This is because when steroids are introduced in the body, the testicles stop their production of testosterone thereby decreasing their size due to disuse.

Steroid abuse among males usually carries the stigma of a shrinking sex organ, however, it’s the testicles that actually atrophy. The testicles stop production of natural testosterone while anabolic steroids are being used. They can shrivel from disuse and cause temporary sterility. Permanent sterility from prolonged steroid abuse has not been determined. The penis is generally unaffected, discounting the potential for more frequent and often embarrassing erections due to the increased sex drive from the large amount of artificial testosterone.

Conversely, in women, anabolic steroid abuse can cause the clitoris to grow in length due to the introduction of synthetic male hormones.

/V

Bibliography of Sources:
“Anabolic Steroids,” anonymous, CESAR, Center for Substance Abuse Research, 2007
“Anabolic Steroids- Hidden Dangers,” anonymous, Office of Diversion Control, March 2004
“Factors Contributing to the Cause of Acne,” anonymous, Facial Skin Care.com, 2007
“What Causes Prostate Cancer?,” anonymous, eHealthMD, October 2004
“Steroids:Anabolic.Androgenic,” anonymous, Focus Adolescent Services, 2005
“Dr. Delgado’s Gynecomastia FAQ,” Dr. A. Delgado, Gynecomastia.org, January, 2007
“High Blood Pressure FAQ’s,” anonymous, Aetna IntelliHealth, June 10, 2005
“What You Should Know About Steroids,” Steven Dowshen, MD, Miami Children’s Hospital.com, Feb. 2002
“Do Steroids Cause Stunted Growth,” Henry Bernstein, MD, Family Education, 2007
“Big Muscles Now May Mean Big Health Problems Later”, Valerie Gliem, University of Michigan Health System, Aug. 2001
“Anabolic Steroids: A Primer,” William Llewellyn, Muscular Development Magazine, 2006
“What is High Blood Pressure,” anonymous, National Heart and Blood Institute, April 2006
“What are the Health Consequences of Steroid Abuse,” Research Report Series- Anabolic Steroid Abuse, anonymous, National Institute on Drug Abuse, Sep. 2006
“Steroid Use Causes Long Term Aggression,” anonymous, Northeastern University, Nov. 2003
Anabolic Steroids, “Teens At Risk,” NIDA for Teens, 1997-2003
National Institute on Drug Abuse. “Steroid Abuse and Teens,”NIH Pub. No. 00—3721. Bethesda, MD: NIDA, NIH, DHHS. Printed 1991. Reprinted 1994, 1996. Revised April, 2000.
Pope, H.G., Jr.; Kouri, E.M.; and Hudson, J.I. Effects of supraphysiologic doses of testosterone on mood and aggression in normal men: A randomized controlled trial. Archives of General Psychiatry 57(2):133-140, 2000.
“Anabolic Steroid Abuse,” anonymous, University of New Mexico Student Health Center, 2004
“Steroid Phobia: myth vs. fact’” Andy Nish, MD, Allergy & Asthma Advocate: Summer 2004
“Kids and Steroids,” Dr. Fred Hatfield, Bodybuilding.com, 2006
“Drug Scheduling,” anonymous, U.S. DEA, 2006
“Steroid Medical Realities Outweigh Steroid Myths,” Colin Nelson, MedPage Today, March, 2005
Malarkey, W.B., Strauss, R.H., Leizman, D.J., Liggett, M., Demers, L.M. (1991) Endocrine effects in female weight lifters who self-administer testosterone and
anabolic steroids. American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, 165, 1385-1390
Strauss, R.H., Liggett, M.T., Lanese, R.R. (1985) Anabolic steroids use and perceived effects in ten weight-trained women athletes. JAMA, 253, 2871-2873
Psychiatric and Medical Effects of Anabolic-Androgen Steroid Use, Harrison Pope, Jr., and David Katz, Archives of General Psychiatry, May, 1994, pp. 375-82.
“More Male than Male,” Etienne Benson, Monitor on Psychology, Vol. 33, No. 9 October 2002

Please forget the misconception that the dick can shrink on steroids; it can't. The testes can and will shrink but this is reversible after a cycle.

 

[Titus]

Consider yourself BLESSED my friend. When I was 17 years old girls used to think I was like 12-13, no chick my age would show me any attn and my confidence and self-esteem was non existent.

A few years later I grew 6 inches to 6'2", my shoulders broadened, I grew facial and chest hair (and on my back lol).

I'm 44 now, have a full head of hair, chicks who cut my hair always comment they wish they had my hair because it's so thick and full and comment that I will never go bald. I don't even have a receding hairline. My facial features are now very masculine, I can grow a full beard as well as a stash (great for a 3 day shadow to look manly and gruff).

And everyone mistakes me for a 34 year old rather than 44.

Read up everything you can on nutrition for your body type, eat lots of food and train with weights consistently so you can put on 30 lbs of muscle.

In 20 years when you go to your HS reunion every dude is gonna envy your looks. They will be bald and fat.

 

[TaZeR]

Consider yourself BLESSED my friend. When I was 17 years old girls used to think I was like 12-13, no chick my age would show me any attn and my confidence and self-esteem was non existent.

A few years later I grew 6 inches to 6'2", my shoulders broadened, I grew facial and chest hair (and on my back lol).

I'm 44 now, have a full head of hair, chicks who cut my hair always comment they wish they had my hair because it's so thick and full and comment that I will never go bald. I don't even have a receding hairline. My facial features are now very masculine, I can grow a full beard as well as a stash (great for a 3 day shadow to look manly and gruff).

And everyone mistakes me for a 34 year old rather than 44.

Read up everything you can on nutrition for your body type, eat lots of food and train with weights consistently so you can put on 30 lbs of muscle.

In 20 years when you go to your HS reunion every dude is gonna envy your looks. They will be bald and fat.

Well that may be a plus to what I have is if I do live to be old I will look young for my age but I don't see it as a worthy trade off, my youth will have been wasted, I will have all these mental problems from being alone till I'm 40 and everything else. I rather live a great life from childhood and die at 40. I never went to high school nor do I know any other person on this earth personally so it doesn't really matter what someone would think that knew me because they don't.

I realize that I pretty much pity and loathe myself that's why its so hard to get anything going right because somewhere in my mind is like a battle and so far the bad part is winning the part that's already given up and accepted the fact that I'm screwed for life and things will never change. There is also the part that has this fantasy ego that i will eventually be like the greatest person in the world somehow, as far fetched as that is it keeps me going.

So I need to just keep a positive attitude get started on the working out so alleviate my physical symptoms then I can start to work on my mind or the inside as some of you have put it. Is this a good plan now?

 

[Voxide]

Consider yourself BLESSED my friend. When I was 17 years old girls used to think I was like 12-13, no chick my age would show me any attn and my confidence and self-esteem was non existent.

A few years later I grew 6 inches to 6'2", my shoulders broadened, I grew facial and chest hair (and on my back lol).

I'm 44 now, have a full head of hair, chicks who cut my hair always comment they wish they had my hair because it's so thick and full and comment that I will never go bald. I don't even have a receding hairline. My facial features are now very masculine, I can grow a full beard as well as a stash (great for a 3 day shadow to look manly and gruff).

And everyone mistakes me for a 34 year old rather than 44.

Read up everything you can on nutrition for your body type, eat lots of food and train with weights consistently so you can put on 30 lbs of muscle.

In 20 years when you go to your HS reunion every dude is gonna envy your looks. They will be bald and fat.

You shot 6 inches when you were 17? Damn, that's good.

Well that may be a plus to what I have is if I do live to be old I will look young for my age but I don't see it as a worthy trade off, my youth will have been wasted, I will have all these mental problems from being alone till I'm 40 and everything else. I rather live a great life from childhood and die at 40. I never went to high school nor do I know any other person on this earth personally so it doesn't really matter what someone would think that knew me because they don't.

I realize that I pretty much pity and loathe myself that's why its so hard to get anything going right because somewhere in my mind is like a battle and so far the bad part is winning the part that's already given up and accepted the fact that I'm screwed for life and things will never change. There is also the part that has this fantasy ego that i will eventually be like the greatest person in the world somehow, as far fetched as that is it keeps me going.

So I need to just keep a positive attitude get started on the working out so alleviate my physical symptoms then I can start to work on my mind or the inside as some of you have put it. Is this a good plan now?

Yes, it's a good plan. You just need to take things slow and ignore other people's perceptions. It's not like you're hopeless. You just have self-confidence issues. Personally, I would be much more worried about your education.

 

[Dr Pepper]

Hey man no need for steroids.
Just eat big and lift big.
I would recommend the 3x5 Rippetoes beginner routine.
Do this routine, along with drinking a gallon of milk a day and eating alot, and you will put on weight pretty quick. Dont even look into roids man. Your joints/ligaments/tendons wont be able to adapt to the loads as quickly as they will make you grow and you will get injured.
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=712752

 

[Voxide]

Education is for losers like you.

Lol. Everything you have to say from now on is discredited because of this. But hey, by all means continue to be a 5 foot dwarf with a high school diploma %)

Also, the rest of your post is hilariously ironic, considering your posts in the HDL thread. You're either a troll or completely below standard intellectual functioning. I'm going with the latter of the two. Must suck to be below borderline short and dumb at the same time. Go ahead. Keep replying. This is just that much funnier coming from someone shorter than a 6th grader with only a high school education. With stats like those, good luck gaining respect from anyone other than the blow-up dolls you incessantly feel the need to brag about to strangers on the internet. Don't feel resentment to those who went further with their education. You probably got a lot of shit about your size from other kids in the 9th grade and didn't want the same to happen during college years. Understandable.

Now, child, let us have a look at your contributions to this thread. Oh yeah, none. You're 0 for 2 here. I have yet to see any posts without continuous trolling. Just live and let be, stop trying to pick fights over the internet. Being a 2nd class citizen, your natural instinct is probably to compensate, but for the sake of simply not being an annoying 12 year old, shut up and provide your contribution. Pretty much every poster in this thread can vouch that I provided factual, if not harsh opinions. You on the other hand, you're just butthurt about being short. Try to be civil, and accept the fact that you don't know as much as you think you do. Or, you could continue the pointless flamefest which YOU started. Either way, your opinion means shit due to your laughable credentials. I could care less if you were the next Mr O, you're hilarious, uneducated, and don't contribute anything to society. I'd go as far as to say our good friend Tazer is probably on a better path than you are. He may be dumb but at least he's trying. You tried to discredit a study because it was done on rats and not humans. How fucking dumb can you be? Start training the muscle in your head, which you probably believe actually is a muscle.

 

[whippa craka]

You need to lift, plain and simple. Sitting in your home all day like a hermit will get you looking skinny like that (no offence). You need to get on a routine and be lifting to failure atleast every other day. Do pushups to fauilure every night before you go to bed. 2 months later you will be 5-10 lbs heavier and start getting that build. Patience my friend, eating doesnt get you big, lifting does.

 

[ControlDenied]

this is a funny thread for its relevant mix of anxious insecurity and homoerotic weightlifters, but i think it needs to shut down ASAP....before something terrible happens....

 

[Voxide]

You need to lift, plain and simple. Sitting in your home all day like a hermit will get you looking skinny like that (no offence). You need to get on a routine and be lifting to failure atleast every other day. Do pushups to fauilure every night before you go to bed. 2 months later you will be 5-10 lbs heavier and start getting that build. Patience my friend, eating doesnt get you big, lifting does.

While I'm a fan of prison-style techniques, I definitely wouldn't recommend doing push-ups every night as his level. Chances are that is he does this on a Friday night, his chest will be way to sore to try the same thing for the rest of the weekend. We need to take in consideration that his body is not accustomed to physical exertion. Getting the basics of recovery down is crucial during the beginning phases of putting muscle on.

Also, when it comes to getting big, food is certainly much more important than you think. In fact, lifting doesn't get you big, food actually does. He can train like a madman but if there is no nutrition to fuel the activity he is doing, no gains will be made. At all.

Tazer, I'm assuming you didn't already put me on your ignore list, but don't worry about nutrients and macros. You are too inexperienced for that yet. Forget the politically correct bullshit. You just need to fucking eat whatever is in sight, within reason, obviously.

this is a funny thread for its relevant mix of anxious insecurity and homoerotic weightlifters, but i think it needs to shut down ASAP....before something terrible happens....

Terrible like what? We're actually starting to get through to this kid. If someone wants to poison their liver while simultaneously wasting their money, I'm going to sit back and enjoy the show, but not without at least letting the person know how fucking retarded that idea is when you can't even talk to people properly, let alone lift weights and eat.




Tazer, don't take anything personally. Fuck your past. The future is in your motherfucking hands. Don't fuck this up. Do it for me at least, not for the shallow bitches you're trying to chase.

 

[ControlDenied]

i dunno. i doubt anyone here is helping him. he's delusional. his life experiences are just a symptom of this. this isnt your average internet-hermit with a limp body who needs to just eat better, work out and go out more. i think he's either a troll [in the internet sense] or an actual, real life troll [or at least half-troll, or orc maybe]. shut this thread down before it gets into my dreams