roller4ever
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2011
- Messages
- 38
Now, before anyone tries to jump all over me, I'm a firm believer in the philosophy that "it's not the substance that's bad it's the people". Which is why I'm taking the rap on this, even if I remember next to nothing about what actually happened..
After a recent experience a few days ago from which I'm still a long ways away from being fully recovered, I've decided it's best that I remove RCs from my life since I'm not mentally stable enough to enjoy them responsibly.
I share this story and pictures for harm reduction purposes. Not that anybody really cares, but I thought it would be good to have this story on the forum.
I don't remember when, it was Thursday I think I decided that I wanted to roll (I'm still so burnt I don't remember much of anything the past few days). As many of you around here know, I have a fondness for Methylone. Since I started IVing it, I've grown tired of the tolerance that I was building so I decided to up the dose just a tad. Shit. Bad idea.
Around 9:30 I did a shot. It was a nice one. Nice, I was rolling. Then, things start to get fuzzy. At some point I did another, because I can tell by the amount of gear that was missing. but I'm not sure why. I had no plans of doing another one. After that, I don't remember a damned thing. I was told by my mother and my sister that I walked over to my sister's house at 1:30 AM to talk and scared the shit out of her because the door was locked so I was standing in front of her house smoking and she couldn't figure out who the hell was standing outside of her house. Also, it appears that I walked to CVS and bought some sleeping pills for some reason I'm still not sure of and I went to WaWa to get a cup of coffee. The only reason I know this is because I found the cup of coffee on my stove and the sleeping pills on my bed and my mother told me that I had told her I walked to CVS and WaWa (which is about 1 mile from my apartment and it was 36 degrees out). This isn't so bad, and it's actually some good rolling fun.
Here's where stuff starts to get really ugly. I must have gotten home around 2:30. I'm just guessing based on what time my sister said I left her house. The next thing I know, I suddenly start to come back down and realize just what the hell went on at 10:40 AM. Everything was foggy, I couldn't see straight and I felt like I got hit with a brick wall.
First, I realize that my arms are burning and stinging like you wouldn't believe. It felt like they were being lit on fire. I look down and see this (ignore the self-injury scars. They're unrelated.) and they were covered in blood:
You can't really see it in this picture because I had to get my sister to take a picture with her shitty cell phone camera, but a good deal around the veins is also purple, red and swollen. Also, you can see that the vein on my left arm is red and swollen all the way up my arm.
Then in horror, I look over at my bed where I'm sitting and see this:
THEN I look at my table where I keep my stash and see EVERYTHING OPEN AND GONE.
I suffer from severe OCD and usually when I take Methylone/MDMA or MDPV it makes my OCD worse. IT SEEMS THAT I HAD BEEN COMPULSIVELY IVing FOR ALMOST 8 HOURS WITHOUT REMEMBERING ANY OF IT. I HAD OVERDOSED AND WAS NONE THE WISER.
I had IVed 2 grams of Methylone and about 600mg of Tranquility Bath Salt (one brand new sealed one and one that was open and almost all used up except for about 100mg). I'm amazed that I didn't give myself an embolism, as I was surely injecting a lot of air while I was that high. I'm convinced that my tolerance of these substances is what saved me.
I went to the doctor today and it turns out that I have a massive infection in my arms from IVing and doing whatever I was doing while I was high that set in within hours. My arms and veins are still killing me and I did quite a bit more damage. It feels as though my circulation is cut off in some parts of my arm, so I'm wondering if I collapsed a vein. I can feel that I must have hit nerves while I was poking myself for 8 hours. I'm also having trouble standing because at some point I must have tried to shoot up in a vein in the back of my knee and hit something. Also, I'm so burnt... I'm hoping that I didn't burn myself out permanently. When I started coming down I thought I had had a stroke or something.
I went to the doctor immediately because my arms were in so much pain and I felt like I had air bubbles stuck in my joints along with pressure in my chest, tightness in my neck, and pressure in my skull. The doctor says don't worry about it because if I was going to have a problem with an air bubble it would have been instantly. When he asked what MDPV was, I told him it was like coke/speed and he said then those are all symptoms indicative of a cocaine like substance overdose. The infection in my arms is a staph infection he seems to think.
Oh, and it's going on the second day I'm up with no sleep.
Yeah, I know most people are going to say "What an idiot" blah, blah, blah, and that's cool you can say whatever you want. It's not like I intended this to happen and wanted to share to show people how things can go bad real fast, and you might not even be aware of it as this is a harm reduction forum. I'm taking the blame for this because it wasn't the substance that was bad, it was me. But really, when I don't remember anything, wasn't in control of myself, my other faculties, and my illnesses took over was it REALLY my fault or just an unexpected accident? I thought I was being careful by raising my dose a modest amount, which given my tolerance seemed warranted.
Thank you, RCs for letting me discover a side of myself that I never knew existed. Thank you for the fantastic times we've had together. Thank you for helping me to avoid self injury and for giving me the courage to do things when I was with you that I would never have otherwise.
Now, however, it's time for me to find the courage to do these things myself without you. I'll miss you. Life will never be as fun without you, but it's in both of our best interests that I let you go.
It's not you, RCs. It's me.
After a recent experience a few days ago from which I'm still a long ways away from being fully recovered, I've decided it's best that I remove RCs from my life since I'm not mentally stable enough to enjoy them responsibly.
I share this story and pictures for harm reduction purposes. Not that anybody really cares, but I thought it would be good to have this story on the forum.
I don't remember when, it was Thursday I think I decided that I wanted to roll (I'm still so burnt I don't remember much of anything the past few days). As many of you around here know, I have a fondness for Methylone. Since I started IVing it, I've grown tired of the tolerance that I was building so I decided to up the dose just a tad. Shit. Bad idea.
Around 9:30 I did a shot. It was a nice one. Nice, I was rolling. Then, things start to get fuzzy. At some point I did another, because I can tell by the amount of gear that was missing. but I'm not sure why. I had no plans of doing another one. After that, I don't remember a damned thing. I was told by my mother and my sister that I walked over to my sister's house at 1:30 AM to talk and scared the shit out of her because the door was locked so I was standing in front of her house smoking and she couldn't figure out who the hell was standing outside of her house. Also, it appears that I walked to CVS and bought some sleeping pills for some reason I'm still not sure of and I went to WaWa to get a cup of coffee. The only reason I know this is because I found the cup of coffee on my stove and the sleeping pills on my bed and my mother told me that I had told her I walked to CVS and WaWa (which is about 1 mile from my apartment and it was 36 degrees out). This isn't so bad, and it's actually some good rolling fun.
Here's where stuff starts to get really ugly. I must have gotten home around 2:30. I'm just guessing based on what time my sister said I left her house. The next thing I know, I suddenly start to come back down and realize just what the hell went on at 10:40 AM. Everything was foggy, I couldn't see straight and I felt like I got hit with a brick wall.
First, I realize that my arms are burning and stinging like you wouldn't believe. It felt like they were being lit on fire. I look down and see this (ignore the self-injury scars. They're unrelated.) and they were covered in blood:
You can't really see it in this picture because I had to get my sister to take a picture with her shitty cell phone camera, but a good deal around the veins is also purple, red and swollen. Also, you can see that the vein on my left arm is red and swollen all the way up my arm.
Then in horror, I look over at my bed where I'm sitting and see this:
THEN I look at my table where I keep my stash and see EVERYTHING OPEN AND GONE.
I suffer from severe OCD and usually when I take Methylone/MDMA or MDPV it makes my OCD worse. IT SEEMS THAT I HAD BEEN COMPULSIVELY IVing FOR ALMOST 8 HOURS WITHOUT REMEMBERING ANY OF IT. I HAD OVERDOSED AND WAS NONE THE WISER.
I had IVed 2 grams of Methylone and about 600mg of Tranquility Bath Salt (one brand new sealed one and one that was open and almost all used up except for about 100mg). I'm amazed that I didn't give myself an embolism, as I was surely injecting a lot of air while I was that high. I'm convinced that my tolerance of these substances is what saved me.
I went to the doctor today and it turns out that I have a massive infection in my arms from IVing and doing whatever I was doing while I was high that set in within hours. My arms and veins are still killing me and I did quite a bit more damage. It feels as though my circulation is cut off in some parts of my arm, so I'm wondering if I collapsed a vein. I can feel that I must have hit nerves while I was poking myself for 8 hours. I'm also having trouble standing because at some point I must have tried to shoot up in a vein in the back of my knee and hit something. Also, I'm so burnt... I'm hoping that I didn't burn myself out permanently. When I started coming down I thought I had had a stroke or something.
I went to the doctor immediately because my arms were in so much pain and I felt like I had air bubbles stuck in my joints along with pressure in my chest, tightness in my neck, and pressure in my skull. The doctor says don't worry about it because if I was going to have a problem with an air bubble it would have been instantly. When he asked what MDPV was, I told him it was like coke/speed and he said then those are all symptoms indicative of a cocaine like substance overdose. The infection in my arms is a staph infection he seems to think.
Oh, and it's going on the second day I'm up with no sleep.
Yeah, I know most people are going to say "What an idiot" blah, blah, blah, and that's cool you can say whatever you want. It's not like I intended this to happen and wanted to share to show people how things can go bad real fast, and you might not even be aware of it as this is a harm reduction forum. I'm taking the blame for this because it wasn't the substance that was bad, it was me. But really, when I don't remember anything, wasn't in control of myself, my other faculties, and my illnesses took over was it REALLY my fault or just an unexpected accident? I thought I was being careful by raising my dose a modest amount, which given my tolerance seemed warranted.
Thank you, RCs for letting me discover a side of myself that I never knew existed. Thank you for the fantastic times we've had together. Thank you for helping me to avoid self injury and for giving me the courage to do things when I was with you that I would never have otherwise.
Now, however, it's time for me to find the courage to do these things myself without you. I'll miss you. Life will never be as fun without you, but it's in both of our best interests that I let you go.
It's not you, RCs. It's me.
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