very very concerned about my health :/

[thizzin' since 98]

sorry for another thread guys, but lately, i've really been freaking out.

so i've only been rolling for 4 months, and have taken 30-40 pills over that period of time.

so far, its been a month of being completely sober from alcohol, weed, and thizz, and i feel weirder then ever.

i'm completely emotionless all day, every day, from the minute I wake up, to the minute i go to sleep. everything feels surreal, like im just watching everything in the world, but im not in it.

i often feel like im still on some sort of drug but im not, i feel like i have a head change, sometimes feel tingly, nauseous, don't have much of an appetite, have constant anxiety and anxiety attacks, sometimes have crying spells, ugg, the list just goes on. I just straight up feel WEIRD. and it's getting very old.

my last pill was a blue rolex, and thats what set on all these symptoms, i think the pill might have been a piperazine? or a meth bomb? :/ i dont know.

im trying to stay positive and not dwell on it, but when my whole body feels out of balance, and i feel zoned out and surreal, how do I not think about it? :'(

i'm asking for advice, please someone tell me how to get rid of these feelings. at this point i'd give an arm, to feel how i felt 4 months ago :/ before the thizz.

...


and another thing, i dont get how i've only taken maybe 40 pills over 4 months, and i have friends who have taken 100+, 200+ pills over 2 or 3 years, and they still feel fine. it boggles my mind honestly.

 

[No Consequence]

Everyone is different when it comes to pills :/ content and brain chemistry vary.
To get your life back on track you need to bring yourself back to it's healthy state. This won't happen overnight.
For starters need to make sure you are eating healthy. you say that you don't have much of an appetite. Maybe eat really small portions many times throughout the day. Drinking plenty water is always good.
You also need to incorporate exercising into your routine.
Maybe start small by just taking a walk here and there, and then bumping up to jogging, etc.
Many people on here have mentioned that the more you think you have a problem and the more you pay attention to it, the easier it is to fall deeper and deeper into your problem.
I know you are staying positive, and that's a good thing. Just don't give up because you can make a recovery.
Maybe take your mind off of things by going for a walk, reading a book, talking/hanging out with a close friend, etc.

 

[thizzin' since 98]

what can I do to get rid of the surreal feeling? :/ thats what bothers me the most. it feels like im not even living. im just here, in a movie or something.

i know this really shouldnt be the answer, but is there anything i can be prescribed by a doctor? :/ i know im gonna get flack for asking this question. i know more pills shouldn't be the answer.

 

[getnice]

u could talk to a psychiatrist about taking some sort of SSRI (selective seratonin reuptake inhibitor)... if u get on an SSRI u will not be able to roll anymore, but it might help with any imbalance u've created with abusing E...

 

[No Consequence]

I really think that it's just going to take time. Your body and brain just need time to go back to how they were. Luckily the brain is a marvelous thing and can recover from MDMA abuse.
Look on the bright side, you aren't suffering from depression like many other abusers? :b
There are many threads on here discussing how people have recovered, maybe browse through them if you haven't already.
I myself have not had many side effects, so i cannot help you with a first hand experience.
Hopefully another poster can comment on the surreal feeling you are having.
I hope you can either find a solution, or become better with time before you have to resort to a prescription :/
But i do have hope for you and would love to see you make it through this.

 

[DOB]

sorry for another thread guys, but lately, i've really been freaking out.

so i've only been rolling for 4 months, and have taken 30-40 pills over that period of time.

so far, its been a month of being completely sober from alcohol, weed, and thizz, and i feel weirder then ever.

i'm completely emotionless all day, every day, from the minute I wake up, to the minute i go to sleep. everything feels surreal, like im just watching everything in the world, but im not in it.

i often feel like im still on some sort of drug but im not, i feel like i have a head change, sometimes feel tingly, nauseous, don't have much of an appetite, have constant anxiety and anxiety attacks, sometimes have crying spells, ugg, the list just goes on. I just straight up feel WEIRD. and it's getting very old.

my last pill was a blue rolex, and thats what set on all these symptoms, i think the pill might have been a piperazine? or a meth bomb? :/ i dont know.

im trying to stay positive and not dwell on it, but when my whole body feels out of balance, and i feel zoned out and surreal, how do I not think about it? :'(

i'm asking for advice, please someone tell me how to get rid of these feelings. at this point i'd give an arm, to feel how i felt 4 months ago :/ before the thizz.

...


and another thing, i dont get how i've only taken maybe 40 pills over 4 months, and i have friends who have taken 100+, 200+ pills over 2 or 3 years, and they still feel fine. it boggles my mind honestly.

I LOLed hard when reading this,sorry but "only taken maybe 40 pills over 4 months" lololol how can you feel sick and out of balance,what a mystery XD

thats 2+ pills every week my friend,thats the amount I do in whole year and still feel like crap after.It boggles your mind? why you feel like zombie and your friends not,well maybe you should think about your own body and not body of your friend when putting drugs into your body,yagetmy? becose
Bare Grills drink piss 24/7 and still manages to get laid it doesnt mean it will work for you two.


i think you caused yourself permanent brain damage,I saw somewhere that after 8-10 years the damage can be repaired up to 80% if you stop using and will live very healthy lifestyle.You done very stupid thing,it makes me mad becose it gives us,responsible drug users bad name.

 

[bhamster]

Good luck dude. Start every morning with a green smoothie (homemade, of course, with Kale, apples, pears, ginger, pineapple, etc.), walk briskly for at least 40 minutes a day and take some time to meditate each evening (just 20 minutes) and you'll feel better than ever in 1-2 months. More drugs won't make you feel better.

I might also recommend that you go on a nutritional detox program. I just finished the one at http://cleanprogram.com and highly recommend it. In 21 days, you'll feel better than ever.

 

[bhamster]

BTW, when I say "more drugs won't make you feel better" I am referring to taking prescription medicines to heal your body. Your body can heal itself. Nature gives us everything we need.

Drugs should only be taken for fun!

 

[IIRandomHeroII]

I LOLed hard when reading this,sorry but "only taken maybe 40 pills over 4 months" lololol how can you feel sick and out of balance,what a mystery XD

thats 2+ pills every week my friend,thats the amount I do in whole year and still feel like crap after.It boggles your mind? why you feel like zombie and your friends not,well maybe you should think about your own body and not body of your friend when putting drugs into your body,yagetmy? becose
Bare Grills drink piss 24/7 and still manages to get laid it doesnt mean it will work for you two.


i think you caused yourself permanent brain damage,I saw somewhere that after 8-10 years the damage can be repaired up to 80% if you stop using and will live very healthy lifestyle.You done very stupid thing,it makes me mad becose it gives us,responsible drug users bad name.

Re-read what he posted. He never said "only 40" pills. He said he's only been rolling for 4 months.

I think the guy realizes what he's done is not smart. I don't think you're doing any help by reminding him of his mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. Hopefully he can recover and learn from this one.

There's some great help in this thread. I personally prefer the eating healthy and exercising method. It's amazing how quickly you can turn a bad day around after you have a sense of accomplishment from running 6-8 miles.

I think you may just need some structure in your life. Start making some goals for yourself and cross them out as you accomplish them.

 

[thizzin' since 98]

i really hope i havn't done permanent damage. :/ i fucked up, i can't tell myself enough.

should i give myself like another month of taking vitamins, exercising and taking sam-e everyday, before i feel normal again?

 

[PhyllipThylamine]

what can I do to get rid of the surreal feeling? :/ thats what bothers me the most. it feels like im not even living. im just here, in a movie or something.

This is "depersonalisation", a sympton of psychological problems. I'd advise an extended break from all & any psychoactive substances.

please take care of yourself... & try not to worry, it'll ease soon enough if you keep clean.

Worse case scenario is it doesnt go away & you have to take some sort of SSRI, an anti-psychotic or anti-enxiety medication. But once again, try not to worry it can be dealt with.

Peace friend!

 

[Inverse]

what can I do to get rid of the surreal feeling? :/ thats what bothers me the most. it feels like im not even living. im just here, in a movie or something.

i know this really shouldnt be the answer, but is there anything i can be prescribed by a doctor? :/ i know im gonna get flack for asking this question. i know more pills shouldn't be the answer.

Dude, more drugs or a doctor isn't going to be the way to go. I seriously recommend getting yourself on a regimen of vitamins~ chill off the drugs and just take it easy for a bit.

Your body is DESIGNED to repair itself under these situations. You're depleted of the very things you need to live. I doubt you have the best nutrition~ and though we live a life where we're used to giving the things we need the fuel they need to function~ we don't always do that with our bodies.

Get some B-complex vitamins in your system. Take 100mg of 5-HTP every day if you can, and just eat a healthy diet and give it a month or two. My advice will only work for you if you actually do it. You can go to a psychiatrist and have him prescribe you some SSRI's to further wreck havok with your head~ but that's on you tbh.

I'm lucky I have a girlfriend that takes care of me and feeds me vitamins every day~ like they're a prescription. Ever since I've actually started to eat healthy and take these things, my comedowns have vanished on most every drug I've been on. If not at least recovered quickly. You need to give your body an opportunity to do its job. It wants you to live, believe me~ but it can't do miracles. It can only work with what you give it. So far, all you've been giving it is substances that demand it do something~ and now you're lacking the very things that you wanted to make you happy in the first place. Obviously, you need to replenish these nutrients. It's simple science.

It's like working out, sweating like crazy and then saying "Guys, I feel tired, and thirsty~ and I used to sweat but now all I feel is dizzy and like I'm going to pass out all the time." Yeah, no shit. You need water. Same thing in this case, except the mechanics are more complicated~ the solution though doesn't have to be. Your body will create the things it needs to recover, you can help it~ by doing good things for your body and mind and lead a healthy lifestyle for a bit, and hopefully for longer than that.

 

[tchap]

im glad to see you finally came here after a number of people from plurlife told you to.

 

[DOB]

Re-read what he posted. He never said "only 40" pills. He said he's only been rolling for 4 months.

I think the guy realizes what he's done is not smart. I don't think you're doing any help by reminding him of his mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. Hopefully he can recover and learn from this one.

There's some great help in this thread. I personally prefer the eating healthy and exercising method. It's amazing how quickly you can turn a bad day around after you have a sense of accomplishment from running 6-8 miles.

I think you may just need some structure in your life. Start making some goals for yourself and cross them out as you accomplish them.

I reed carefully what he typed in his post,he done 40 pills in 4 months,thats not mistake,thats brain suicide.I agree with you on exercising,thats what he needs but I worry that it might be more serious damage becose after month,the serotonin is nearly totaly regenerated and what he experience sounds like he just rolled yesterday,it sounds permanent to me.

 

[rincewindrocks]

one note, and a bit of math, to consider

40 pills over 4 months is roughly one every three days. now granted, im sure you waited longer, and took multiples at a time, but bear with me.

200 pills over 3 years is rouphly one every 5 days. not a lot of difference, but it can be significant

also, despite what people claim *cough*boast*cough* very few people actually take that many

sounds to me like you just need a break, healty food and excersise, and to stay away and stop thinking about X. honestly, the more you freak out, the more you will notice the little things and concentrate on them more. im not trying to be condecending, btw, i just know this from experience

 

[M Brace]

i really hope i havn't done permanent damage. :/ i fucked up, i can't tell myself enough.

should i give myself like another month of taking vitamins, exercising and taking sam-e everyday, before i feel normal again?

I've had the depersonalization symptoms you describe, following acute mdma use (1+ gram in a weekend) It lasted weeks, and it was unnerving to say the least.

IMO: don't panic, don't obsess, just makes it worse. Go with it. Be aware of the thoughts that arise, thoughts that in your "normal" state of awareness you may be reluctant to deal with. See what you can learn emotionally or spiritually from the space that you're in. When you've had enough of it, get re-grounded by getting some rigorous exercise - running, jogging, swimming - this will pull your awareness back into your body.

Also, you can try this mental exercise to bring yourself back into center:

Take a walk through your home or neighborhood, and then look for ordinary objects (stop sign, television, dog, window, car, etc.). When you find one, stop walking, and say out loud -- not so loud as to freak anyone out -- "I see a [color of the thing] [name of the thing". For example "I see an Orange Volkswagen". After you name about 20 things, you should feel a positive difference.

A change of awareness can be frightening, especially if it's different than what you had expected, or has lasted longer than you expected. Your nervous system is a thing to marvel at though, and it will find a balance eventually. You can help nudge it back into alignment with some positive action. SAM-e has been awesome for me, but the dose has to be high enough (800 mg, twice a day for a 195 pounder)

Bottom line, you're going to be ok. There are many others who have been through what you're going through, and you have lots of love and support from people who have never even met you!

Cheers-

 

[shiznik]

Just give it time. I felt the same way after stopping my abuse, and about 6 months later I felt mostly normal again. Please don't go see a psychiatrist and get on an SSRI or benzo or anything like that, it will only worsen your problem long term.

In the mean time try to get in the sun and eat/sleep well. Even lay off alcohol/weed as much as you can if you use those . Time really is the only way to recover from this regardless of supplements or whatever else people suggest.

I know I'm just restating sentiments of others in the thread, but I figured it couldn't hurt for you to know, like ^^ said, others have been through this and came out the other end feeling well.

 

[its.euphoric]

I can't help but always think about adrenals when people say how they feel emotionless, out of it, are super sensitive to stress/ super anxious.
Honestly, I highly doubt that you have much of any brain damage. I think it has to do with adrenals. If I were you, I'd start eating WELL. Don't eat simple carbs, this further stresses adrenals, eat complex carbs. I know it maybe hard, especially because someone whose adrenals are under stress.. will crave the things that will make the cycle worse: more simple carbs.

And.. it's worth a try to see how hydrocortisone (synthetic cortisol) 1% (the cream) makes you feel. Low cortisol will make you feel like all those things you described, because your adrenals are making sufficient amounts of it, like they should be.
yes, eat it. I know it sounds weird, but it actually contains a decent amount of cortisol in it. If you can, try to find hydrocortisone 2.5%. Only take a tiny amount of it, because in one.. I think gram, of it there is 25mg of cortisol, and in the 1% one, there is 10mg of cortisol. Don't take more than 40mg in one day. But seriously, I have heard people have great relief from using hydrocortisone.
You can get the prescribed tablets of hydrocrotisone but they are a bitch to try and get because most doctors don't understand adrenal insufficiency and are taught to treat with cortisol as a last resort.
Also, b complex is good for your adrenals as well as vitamin C.

 

[Sociable]

I reed carefully what he typed in his post,he done 40 pills in 4 months,thats not mistake,thats brain suicide.I agree with you on exercising,thats what he needs but I worry that it might be more serious damage becose after month,the serotonin is nearly totaly regenerated and what he experience sounds like he just rolled yesterday,it sounds permanent to me.

Why is it permanent?

It's only been a month... Brain damage or whatever would also be based on how large a dose he was giving himself etc (We know frequency I suppose)

After a month all serotonin is totally regenerated?

 

[peacefuldreamer09]

I'm on a 6 mos break. It just takes time, it did for me and I did 1/4 of the amount you did. (9 or 10 times?)