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how to talk to my gf about anal sex

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theseedlesssmoker

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 15, 2011
Messages
49
Location
north carolina
hey ive been dating this girl for 5 almost 6 months and we love each other like nothing else. i have hinted around and joked about anal sex and she kinda freezes up at the mention of it. i am trying to figure out a way to talk to her about trying it without making her think that im not satisfied with our sex the way it is or anything. it just seeems really intimate to me and i know it hurts if its not done right but i want her to understand that i will do everything possible to make her comfortable.....i dont know... any ideas?
 
Well, a lot of girls don't like the thought of anything ripping their asshole apart.

Tell her you're allergic to vagina.
 
theseedlesssmoker said:
hey ive been dating this girl for 5 almost 6 months and we love each other like nothing else. i have hinted around and joked about anal sex and she kinda freezes up at the mention of it. i am trying to figure out a way to talk to her about trying it without making her think that im not satisfied with our sex the way it is or anything. it just seeems really intimate to me and i know it hurts if its not done right but i want her to understand that i will do everything possible to make her comfortable.....i dont know... any ideas?
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Would you be willing to let her try shoving a vibrator up your ass?
 
just ask her what her thoughts are on anal sex. Does she enjoy anal stimulation? In my experience its the girls who've had a really bad first experience with it who are the ones to poo poo it as soon as the topic is brought up.
 
theseedlesssmoker said:
i dunno about the whole vibrator thing there Generic, but that probably has something to do with it. she said it really hurt when i missed the first time.
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You just have to talk to her about it dude. If she gets nervous when you mention it, what do you think she's going to do if you actually tried to do it?

The first step is making her comfortable with the idea of it, and the only way to do that is to talk about it and reassure her. Then you can worry about doing it.
 
Have you ever played with her anus using your fingers when you were fucking? Why don't you try that first to get her comfortable with the idea of sex and her asshole. If it hurts her when you're inserting a digit, you're not going to have a chance at inserting your penis. If she likes it, she'll learn how to relax her asshole so anal sex is something she might be willing to try.
 
Shell probably enjoy it too! Just talk to her about it, hope she is willing. Would you be willing to let her fuck your ass??

I told my girl that I am going to own her after I fuck her in the ass in the near future. I guess I got it lucky that way... lol :)
 
I was soooo like your girlfriend a few months ago! Try playing with her ass a bit, with your fingers. Go slow - really slow. Then you'll see if she will enjoy it. My bf told me that he loves anal sex - I was like YIKES I have never done it and never intended to. But once he started playing there a bit, I got more into it. ALSO have a discussion with her about it. Don't joke. Heart to heart. AND assure her that you will stop if it hurts or if she wants to. You aren't going to pressure her.
 
Never "miss"! That hurts so bad she will never ever let you get near it again.

Play with her ass without trying to go any farther. Lick it when you're down there, or rub your finger around without putting it in. She may seem uncomfortable so reassure her you are not going to try to go any farther (AND DON'T LIE). She can learn to enjoy it if she's not constantly afraid of being hurt.
 
Take baby steps, ask her how she's going and be supportive and encouraging. Girls that do anal generally fall into 3 categories: they do it to because they want to tell their friends about how advanced they are in the bedroom, they do it to be pleasing to you or they find it as pleasurable as vaginal. I've met all 3.
 
"Have you tried anal sex"?

A: "No"

B: "Yes"

A1: "Would you be up for it?"

B1: "What did you think of it?"

If no / didn't like it.. leave it at that.

If yes / liked it.. go for it.
 
i'd also recommend you shoving a vibrator up your own ass. i did, just to prove a point, and learned a lot. for one, it didn't feel so bad, but for two, there were certain times when it DID feel so bad.

invite her into the play.

but echoing all these previous comments: honest communication is the key, not honest negotiation. if she's not cool with it, never gonna be, then... learn to get kinky in other ways.

frankly, having had anal with several chicks by now, one super willing, one willing, one too dumb to say no, and one who has given it her best but is resolutely opposed, i gotta say... its hot, but more hot to watch on porn.
 
halfoz said:
i'd also recommend you shoving a vibrator up your own ass. i did, just to prove a point, and learned a lot. for one, it didn't feel so bad, but for two, there were certain times when it DID feel so bad.
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If you are prepared and ready and took time to stretch and relax the muscles, it feels great. If you are not expecting it and are not stretched then it hurts more than you can imagine and can cause physical damage to the skin and muscles.
 
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