Does brain heal...

[Survived Abortion]

First off, great post. The bolded part isn't quite true though, IMO. You can trust yourself, but not the part of yourself yakking away with the internal monologue in your head: that rat bastard will ruin you. The part of yourself you can trust is deeper, closest to the source.

LOL. True.

 

[DwayneHoover]

And Dwayne you are paranoid .-.

Babe, I am just letting you know how your behavior appears to others.

And that sentence from me quoted above was NOT about YOU... it was about the OP in a totally DIFFERENT scare-story thread, when someone was pretending to be a COMPLETE moron and acting as if they believed the absurd fable of "permanent personality replacement" wherein a guy did too much acid and was henceforth for the remainder of his days confined to a mental hosptal because he had become utterly convinced he had turned into "a glass of lemonade" LOL!

What size? Glass-sized or are you like a giant person sized glass with little stick arms and legs and a cartoon eyes, nose and mouth drawn on the glass? Don't you evaporate? Who or what pours fresh lemonade into you as you evaporate? Is it God, or like a giant God-like kool-aid pitcher? Can I have a drink of you? hehe

And I dont think the possibility that some posts come from anti-drug assholes trying to spread fear and alarm is necessarily "paranoid." Alot of those types ARE quite Machiavellian self-righteous buttheads, and feel they have the right/justification to spread all kinds of bullshit in the furtherance of their holy aims. I have met some of them and they ARE terrible horrible, really really STUPID, assholes, in general.

 

[Diskordia]

That all makes lots, lots of sense, but there are problems. First, I was calm and happy today. I was not thinking on anxiety or in problems at all, and yet 2 unrelated people noticed I was 'anxious' and 1 person who knows me better than myself confessed I'm still a bit sluggish.

And if the root was psychologic then what explains the hypnopompic episodes? I was having good dreams in all of them and yet I woke up with that scary state that's both physical and mental. That's what hinders me from trusting it's all psychologic.

Today was certainly a happier day. The problem is I don't know whichever I'm improving or just getting used. Let's see how I do tomorrow. Good night, dude.

Adrian I can drive but that's what I'm saying all the time, I'm sluggish, I can't deal with any situation where many things happen at once or where things happen too fast.

Man, you're really starting to come across as either an attention seeking whiner or a hypochondriac.

 

[DwayneHoover]

Yea, no matter what anyone says, its not enough, its never enough, there's ALWAYS ALWAYS a "yea, but..." of some sort. Starting to smell like the true intent is to keep his silly ANTI-LSD movitves front and center as long as possible by whatever means necessary. I mean, Cant recognize himself in the mirror? Can't drive a car? Talking and moving in slow motion or whatever? I mean, REALLY! Give me a fucking break. I am toying with the hypothesis he is in some bet with his 8th grade school chums as to who can keep a plainly ridiculous thread going the longest without being banned... probably gets extra credit the more member replies there are per day. HAHA... um, I think.

 

[skullgrid]

hypochondriac.

this.

 

[ChronicHD]

troll

+1.

 

[RainbowWarrior]

First off, great post. The bolded part isn't quite true though, IMO. You can trust yourself, but not the part of yourself yakking away with the internal monologue in your head: that rat bastard will ruin you. The part of yourself you can trust is deeper, closest to the source.

Yeah, i completely agree...

luckily i was never in the position of not being able to trust myself anymore. but a good friend overdid it with mdpv and came to this point...

you also can trust your family and friends, they also have this part deep down that can be trusted, everyone has

One of the insights i gained from my most clear lsd trip (high dose in the mountains with one close friend, with good preperation in the form of meditation the day before the trip) was worded:

"everything has a center - in it's center everything is one"

This center is the part one can trust, imho....


and a short story about my recent experiences (after having to face some bad things from a whole bunch of friends who ratted eachother out at the police some years back) with trust:

Christmas 09 i was studying abroad, i was financing the rent of my flat with a room full of plants

I had everything planned out as to harvest shortly before christmas break, so i would be able to return home for christmas. Well things didn't work out like they should and at the start of christmas break i was having a room full of plants nearly ready to harvest, but not quite yet. I also had promised my girl to come home for christmas and already booked my flight. So what did i do?

I gave the keys to the appartment to a nice guy i had met there, so he would take care of the plants. I knew him for 2-3 months then, he was jobless and the only topic in the whole country was the crisis at this moment. (also, he's a druggy and i met him through the internet in the 1st place :D )

I returned in january after 2 weeks at home... and found the plants healthier than when i left, at the door to the room there was a ziplock full of some of the finest weed with a message:

Happy Christmas!

and happy it was indeed... the feeling i got was one that no drug in the world could match! to be proven that you can trust someone is something to never forget!

Today i call him my brother and our friendship will last until the day i die...

This day gave me something i had thought i had lost

sorry for ot... but i think there's not much left to say to the op anyways...


p.s. if you feel your trust in people fading - put on bob marley's - who the cap fit, and listen!