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The Dark Side Check-In Thread ver. 2011 > 2010

totach

totach

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Messages
925
Location
newyork
Hey guys
So so far so good for me in 2011 .
I pretty much got sober off all opiates and benzos towards the end of 2010 but i still got alot of work and healing to do.
Hopefully next time i check-in i can say i feel alot better.I am really excited to work on my sobriety in this new year.
I wish all my fellow bluelighters a great year in 2011!!!!!
 
I'm not really doing that great. Drinking too much, it's not even 8pm and I'm drunk as hell, ready to go to bed. I don't know what's happening in my life recently. I know I moved away from home, but this is just too much. I even have suicidal thoughts, but I'm used to it so I'm not at point where I'm admitting myself - yet.

FUCK!!!

So now we pretty much got two extreme viewpoints of 2011, but how are YOU doing? ;)
 
totach said:
Hey guys
So so far so good for me in 2011 .
I pretty much got sober off all opiates and benzos towards the end of 2010 but i still got alot of work and healing to do.
Hopefully next time i check-in i can say i feel alot better.I am really excited to work on my sobriety in this new year.
I wish all my fellow bluelighters a great year in 2011!!!!!
Click to expand...

Me too!! First time I haven't used for a period of 16 days!! Tears of joy run down my face whenever I think about how far along I've come :) Congrats!
 
I disappeared from BL for a while, but I'm still alive (they say only the good die young, so I guess I'm gonna live to a ripe old age!) Still got my meth habit, and I recently battled through a moderate opiate addiction, but I'm doing ok. It'll be interesting to see what this year brings.
 
2011 has been amazing for me.

*I got into my dream double degree: Law/Arts :D Still overjoyed, and cannot believe I am finally there. LOOK OUT VIC UNI. :D
*I'm moving back in with my dad and (ugh, his wife, lol) and ridding my life of my current toxic housemate. Big mistake that was lol.
*I have my shit together with my drug use and its continuing benefits are great.
 
new year new start..., am swinging from feeling very positive to shit scared. But got to get things back to how they were before my ex took his own life. Still cant believe hes really gone. Our son is making me proud everyday with how he carries himself. and his art is amazing. I am being taught a lesson by a sixteen year old boy...
We still love you JA where ever you are..\
BX
 
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Hey guys,
So like 2 weeks ago i read smehwere that you can get hep c from sharing a spoon wit someone.
I was only shooting for a couple months towards the end of my heroin use and i was very careful never to share a need but a spoon who the fuck knows that.
So i went to get tested 10 days ago its bin a good 6 months since i shared a spoon or anything wit someone so there cant be a chance that it didnt show up yet.
My results are negative for evreything im so happy and excited :)
Sorry just wanted to tell somebody. I was so anxious for the past 10 days.
Anyways im still doin ok i started chipping alittle so thats no good but im done hopefully ;)
Have a good weekend evreyone!!!
Also thanks ocean im really glad myself ;)
And overdone i duno how u always just say thats it and u actually do it i wish i had self control like u.
 
i hope 2011 is treating everyone as they deserve, and wish you all the best of luck in our new year !!!!!!!!!!march 28th 6 years clean spending it in belize !!!!!!
 
OverDone said:
I can understand the anxiety involved in waiting for those damn test results (ugh!) My impatience for such things and the reality that there are time periods for things to actually show up in tests conflict.

I'm glad that it came up negative!

As to saying 'that's it' and being done with it... I wish it was that easy! For me it has involved a lot of uncomfortable change and realizing that every single time I go to do 'just one' or 'one more' it ALWAYS takes me to the same place. Once I gained some acceptance with that, it became easier. What keeps me going is experiencing the benefits of staying clean and actually being ok with myself finally.

Besides... having a support structure is a huge benefit and that's where you guys come in!
Click to expand...

amen to that brother !!!!!
 
This year has going pretty good so far:-

I gave up the booze cold turkey and havent gone back as yet.

I'm off all my meds including the sleeping pills

I havent done any stims at all, they were messing me up

I'm back at work and holding that together

I havent been a complete angel with regard to other substances but I've held it down to just enough to distract me from the more damaging stuff. My head being much clearer has enable me to get a grip on some of my underlying anxiety and I'm starting to feel a bit better about my life in general.

Hope you all have a great day and if you dont hang on till tomorrow..for the sunrise if nothing else<3
 
This year's been pretty good. Still off speed, and recently stopped opiates cold turkey. My weed intake went through the roof as a result though! Mostly because of the shitty opiate withdrawal that left my entire body sore and hurting for over a week! Funny story - I lose my stash of opiates and I can't get more, so I decided to tough it out for the week until I had more $ again. Man I felt like shit that entire week, but it got better over time, and the weed helped a lot with the pain. After experiencing that hell, I made a decision never to mess around with them again. In retrospect, it was probably a good thing that I lost my stash.
 
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Some set backs here and there (not really drug related), but other than that the first month and few days of February in 2011 has been a lot of fun! :) Went through opiate WDs in late Oct. 2010 and have been pretty much clean from opiates since. Only had one slip up with opiates in the last 5 weeks.

The snow/cold/weather in general has been super shitty (new snowfall record for January), but I've been trying to make the most of it. <3

Even the days that don't go well now are nothing like last year. At this point a year ago I was quite depressed and had just missed out on a chance to go on a badass road trip. I was only taking one class that semester and about a year ago is when I started shooting dope regularly (the sniffing dope days were over). Another week or so and I think it'll be the anniversary of me shooting myself up for the first time....smoked crack that night as well.

2010 was very damaging to me, so it's taking a while to really move beyond it, but so far things are going well. Hopefully they'll stay that way. :)


I am SUPER excited for the spring too. If I stay clean through the spring it'll be the first clean spring since 2005.
 
I've been searching but can't find jake. Anyone know what is up with him? What was his username? Something like jake69...?
 
Hey guys just checking in.

Well im happy to say that i finally got off the xanax :) monday will be 2 weeks.

I wish i could say the same for the subs but damn that shit is hard to stop.

Im down to about a 2mg pill a week thats like .25mg a day and its still so fuckin hard to stop.

I cant complain tho i havent done dope in a while and im happy for that.

Hopefully next time i checkin i will be off the subs i know i keep sayin that but i also felt ill never be able to stop the xanax but i did.

Hope evreyone is doin well!!!!
 
i've been trying to be good, but I bought a gram of coke tonight even
when i promised myself i wouldn't.

i can't even describe how frustrated i am.
 
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