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Women Who Don't Want Kids...Ever

Lady Codone

Lady Codone

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 6, 2008
Messages
2,134
Have been thinking about this alot lately. I don't want kids. Never have. I'm almost 27, female and am starting to feel like something is wrong with me for not wanting to be a mom. It seems like everyone my age (or way younger) has kids or wants to at some point.

I'm in a happy relationship with someone who says they could "take kids or leave 'em", for which I'm very grateful. Still, it's hard to explain to people my lack of desire for children, as they usually look at me crazy and say "WHY NOT?" like I'm some sort of barren, child-hating spinster who hoards cats and will never know true happiness. 8)

I'd like to see how many other people--particularly female--are in the same boat.

What are your thoughts on women who don't want kids?
 
I think it is awesome that you don't want kids. and its even better that you accept it. I think its wrong that ppl who SHOULDN'T have kids , have kids! live your life as you please! its freaking awesome not having to worry about raising another human being. Its a serious thing having a child unlike anything else in life that is FOREVER. I don't want any kids! I don't care what ppl say I don't want that responsibility.

I find it beautiful when a happy healthy couple brings a child to this world

But see a horrible side when a heroin addict brings a unhealthy chid to life.
 
I'm not very optimistic about the state of the world the future holds in store for anyone born today. I'm child-free as well.
 
i want kinds, but i prefer to adopt those already here who have no family.

if you dont want kinds, thats great. too many people in the world right now,

dont have them if you dotn want them. i've known women whose husbands have pushed them to have kids when the women had zero interest. in all cases it did not turn out well. the mom really didnt want anything to do with the kids, began resenting the husband, and divorce ensued.

it works the same way for women who want kids and males who dont. so its really one of those things that, as much as we hate talking about it in the beginning, should be talked about out in the open and decided upon before feelings get hurt. if you dont want kids and he could care less, you've found a good match.

dog people should be with dog people
cat people should be with cat people
horse people should be with horse people
pig people should find out why they like living in a barn
kid people should be with kid people
non-kid people should be with non-kid people
nose pickers should carry a box of tissues

if you dont want kids, there is nothing wrong with you anymore than there would be something wrong with you disliking pets, certian colors, vacations in boca, or anything else. our differences%) are to be celebrated.
 
Lady Codone said:
What are your thoughts on women who don't want kids?
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Their choice.

I am 37 and have not once felt the desire to be a parent.

I am nurturing and caring. I work with children. It is very rewarding. I enjoy watching the progression of a human being I have nothing to do with except during their eye appointments.

The oh dear you will change your mind begins trickling off from society the closer I get to 40. I feel fortunate I have never been pressured by my parents nor my in laws to procreate.

I am in love with the romantic idea of creating a baby with my husband but remain well aware that I am resistant to the reality. The time, the effort, the overwhelming responsibility, the permanent life change, the money. Yeah yeah it is all worth it I hear. It has to be. I am not feeling like it would be for me.

I like a lot of me time. Us time. I am selfish and I know who I am. I like sharing my life with my husband and our pets. It is so chill. I like the luxury of being able design and build our lives together without having children come into play when making decisions.

I feel that being a mother would take too much away from who I am and who I want to be.
 
Lady Codone said:
What are your thoughts on women who don't want kids?
Click to expand...

Given that I happen to be one of them (only quite possibly the cat hoarding type), I would have to say there is not a single problem with it. I am also really glad to see this topic posted here! I have been thinking a lot about this recently, as well. After my ex-girlfriend had a baby (post-breakup), I really realized how much pressure society puts on women to be these child-bearing creatures. What if we simply want to live our own lives? Wouldn't that be better than bringing a pure new life into this world that we just 'accepted' as a part of life?

I am honestly SO sick of witnessing either gender feel 'inclined' to have children in order to 'live a meaningful life'! Granted, if that is something both partners truly want in life, by all means...have a child. Hell, have six! ;)
Overall, I believe a woman should have a child if she wholeheartedly wants to devote her life to properly raise another human being! If a woman does not want to have children...she shouldn't. To say that a woman should have children in order to have lived a 'complete' life, is completely ridiculous. Society should not influence your personal choice(s), unless you feel YOU want to make that choice.
 
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I often feel like I'm looked down on or strange for not wanting kids...
I guess I hear, you're 23, you'll change your mind. I think...NOT.
I just feel strange around kids. They seem like they pretty much suck until they are like 6 and then they CAN be entertaining but and burden and nah I think I'd rather not.
 
Pillthrill said:
I often feel like I'm looked down on or strange for not wanting kids...
I guess I hear, you're 23, you'll change your mind. I think...NOT.
I just feel strange around kids. They seem like they pretty much suck until they are like 6 and then they CAN be entertaining but and burden and nah I think I'd rather not.
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^ I can totally relate! I am 22, but frankly I have uh...'lived' more than most do before they die. With that said, I honestly really do not think I will ever want to have children. I feel as though I am simply not the type. If I do continue to feel this way, I want to honor those feelings for the sake of morality.

Granted, I would LOVE to find a man who would desire fathering my children, yet be alright to go along with my choice. That would be ideal! ;)
Lady Codone, you should be very grateful that you're in a relationship where your current ideas are not disruptive! <3
Personally, I used to actually want children—could even visualize myself having them. I seemed to have ass backwards luck in that aspect, though. Whenever I have dated someone who stated that they "wanted to have children with me", it was always someone who I could never see myself having children with...and vice versa. Hahah!
 
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I have felt like you do before. Although I am fairly sure I will have kids. I used to think I would never want to and then one day I just did. I don't want to for a long time though, and depending on the state of the world when I am a bit older, maybe I will, maybe I won't.

So I relate and don't think there is anything wrong with it, in fact the world would be better off if most people felt like you do. However, even though you may never change your mind, 27 is still pretty young and you could-so I wouldn't go getting my tubes tied or anything just yet if it were me. Just use good birth control. :)
 
I love women who don't want kids! I'm male, thirty now, used to want kids, that has completely changed over the last ten years. There are way too many things I still want to do, (mountaineering and skiing expedition stuff mostly), being tied down financially is a big part, but also having dependents, changes what kind of risks a person can reasonably take. I never wanted to leave a kid an orphan, because of a risky hobby I have, or a poor decision I make.
Stoked to see all the ladies with the same attitude!
 
When I was younger, I thought I'd never want kids. I mean, I couldn't even imagine myself having kids, ever. Even though I was in a stable relationship and things were looking good. Then I turned 30 and suddenly I wasn't so sure. Now I'm pushing 35 and I want it with all my heart.

Only problem is I don't have a man and I'm not even sure if I'm into men anymore. Funny how life keeps throwing you curve balls.
 
Pillthrill said:
I guess I hear, you're 23, you'll change your mind. I think...NOT.
I just feel strange around kids. They seem like they pretty much suck until they are like 6 and then they CAN be entertaining but and burden and nah I think I'd rather not.
Click to expand...

Haha, I will be 23 next month and I hear this all the time too. And I totally relate on the "feeling strange around kids" thing. I like my younger cousins because I am related to them and I love them and will tolerate their annoying kid-tendencies, but at the end of the day it's nice to not have to go home with them and deal with them 24\7.

I think I'd make a terrible mother. Like PI said, I am wayyyyy too selfish and value time to myself. Taking care of my dog is taxing enough lol. Will that change over time? Maybe. I don't think so though. If I change my mind in 10 years and want to have\or adopt kids, then I will, but I don't forsee it happening.... and my biggest worry is that I will have a hard time finding a partner who doesn't want kids either, because most people do. :(
 
a woman who knows themselves well enough to be aware of something like whether they want kids or not, and who is able to deal with social pressures to ensure that they live a life they want to is an attractive character trait
 
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