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Too often - permanent damage?

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gucciman

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 13, 2011
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14
Hi everyone. Relatively new to MDMA, did it for the first time at the end of september. 2 pills (i think about .3-.4 each). mind-blowingly fun. Then about 6 weeks later my friends decided to go for a binge, and being unable to say no, followed along with them. (2 pills on back-to-back nights). then about 2 weeks later at a house party i was given a pill, and being drunk, decided to take it. (see a pattern here?) Another 2 weeks later, ended up doing another 2 pills. 2 weeks later again (this was 2 weeks ago), another 2.

I've been noticing that ever since about the 3rd time I did it i've been having a harder and harder time concentrating on things, i feel generally dazed/distant, and have been feeling anxious/depressed. I've always been a hypochondriac, and i have a history of anxiety and depression(i was on SSRIs a couple of years ago).

Here's my dilemma - a friend has already purchased 2 pills for me for a party this weekend. I've been reading up on negative effects and such, so i've been wondering: would it be a really bad idea to do it again this weekend? have i been going too strong with this stuff, and is it possible that i've incurred any permanent damage to my brain?
 
If MDMA is in fact causing these problems for you, then it would probably be in your best interest avoid rolling. It is also possible that you are focusing on them and making them seem bigger than they are.

Were you concerned about these side effects before ever rolling, or did you only worry about damage once you started to feel them? If you do something with the expectation that it will cause problems, it will be much more likely that you will start experiencing them.
 
Hi-
I didn't originally come into the experience knowing about the negative effects: After my 3rd time using it I started to feel some of the symptoms. I initially put them down to stress from my job, and from the time of year, but they persisted after i finished my job shortly after that, so i looked to my use of MDMA as a possible cause. I know i haven't been doing myself any favors by continuing to use it on what i guess is a frequent basis, i just hope i haven't permanently fucked anything in my head.
 
It's very unlikely you have done kind of permanent damage. You can always just take a long break and see if the symptoms improve when are not consuming any MDMA.
 
I have not experienced what you describe, under the circumstances you describe. Perhaps your physiology is somehow different.

MDMA has some pretty profound effects, that, coupled with your self-described hypochondria and previous bouts with depression may make it an undesirable drug for you.

p.s. you might check out http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=548266 for others' experiences with heavy use.
 
Thanks guys-
@legerity
that's what i've been meaning to do, then a friend calls me up and says "Hey man, huge party this weekend- got something special for ya too".....Aaaaaaargh! but it's so much fun!
 
You'll be fine as long as you lay off for a few months.

Just, you know, actually lay off for a few months.
 
This is a bit of a no brainer really - if you noticed that after using MDMA too often you started feeling 'off' then stop using it as often.

Chances are you havent done any permanent damage to yourself but taking a break is the best advice.

I know its hard when you have just found Ecstasy but honestly you will feel a lot better for it.
 
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if you break something in your body, is it permanent damage?

Usually it isn't, but it does require recovery time.

The cells of living organisms tend to repair themselves over time when damaged.

Lay off the rolls for a few months, maybe even a year, and I bet it gets better.
 
^^ I think a few months would be more than enough, a year seems a little extreme and over cautious in my eyes but thats it.

3-4 month breaks are great, just try and keep it that way. i had the same when i first discovered mdma, doing it every weekend for months on end, then finally started getting a little smart now only do it like every 2 months or so.
 
Use MDMA 4-6 times in a year. not more. and you should be ok.
 
thanks guys. i've certainly learned my lesson(yeesh, 6 times in about 2 and a half months), and am definitely laying off the stuff for a good while. i've been seeing varying information as to how long exactly these things take to start to get better- my last roll was 2 weeks ago, so what should I expect? weeks? months?
 
Bump, i've just been reading over other various threads of people who have been in similar situations, and i've been seeing them not improving for months, years, maybe ever, and it's got me a bit worried. I feel like a shadow of my former self(etarded?)and want the old me back :(
 
You're worrying for little reason and are going to be fine. You may be a little outside of the general consensus on guidelines for safer, sustainable MDMA usage but given your total lifetime usage of MDMA and even your frequency you aren't even close to MDMA abuse.

Most people who begin to experience long-term or lingering negative effects from MDMA are in the category of people taking many pills each session on a frequency of every week or two for long periods of time and/or people who have used for many years outside the guideline of a moderate dose once a month. I can guarantee you that the vast majority of people who are in similar situations have abused MDMA the way I have described or else have other causes for their problems and are blaming MDMA. In very rare cases there may be people with sensitive brain chemistry.

Whatever the case, even after 10 years of using MDMA on a regular basis and needing a good break, all it took for me at most was about 2 months and 2 weeks after a high dose session to feel as good as new. Two to three months seems to be standard for many people who have abused quite heavily. My friend, you've barely scratched the surface of MDMA; and if you are even experiencing any real symptoms that aren't attributable to you being a hypochondriac and are indeed even related to MDMA - you're going to be absolutely fine.
 
Although I think your fine, you should consider taking breaks.. and don't get addicted, lol. Yeah, I think your fine for now.. I've seen people who've had worse cases... I know people who drop 6 pills a week. They drop twice a week and each time they drop, they triple drop... Yeah, there addicted, just don't become like that and you'll be fine. But although they drop 6 each week, they still seem completely fine to me, haha.. Also, you should think about just taking them at events/massives and not just taking them "for the hell of it".. Yeah, I can never imagine someone just rolling at a normal house party.. well actually I have seen someone do that but.. what's the point, lol, just stick to drinking..
 
i took 14.5 pills in about a 5 month period. i suffered from depression for a bit and anxiety/panic attacks i also had some depersonalization/derealization for a month. im almost at 3 months since i last dropped and almost back to normal. i think it be a good idea for a 3 month break or more for your mental health...just my advice
 
Hey guys, just an update:
it's now been a little over a month since my last roll. I managed to avoid rolling again at a rave i attended couple of weeks ago(and still managed to have a great time-everyone else just wants to touch you and is really interested in what you have to say, lol!).
I've decided to take this as a wakeup call. 2010 was marked basically from start to finish by huge drug use, culminating in this final MDMA binge. The longest i went without smoking weed the whole year was about 3-4 days, i did psychedelics regularly, and I got hammered to the point of puking/blacking out at least twice a week. The fact that i managed to make it that far without suffering any ill effects surprised me.
I'd say i'm only slightly better than i was earlier, the most notable improvement being the anxiety. I'm still feeling the depersonalization/derealization, i'm still sorta muted, not thinking entirely as clearly, etc, but i do feel I can improve.
What i'm doing to try and help that along is:
-Exercising daily (30 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of lifting)
-Taking a handful of vitamins every day(a multivitamin, vitamin C, B, D, gingko biloba as well as a vegetable supplement)
-Quitting smoking(2 weeks at no smokes, the cravings are starting to subside a bit!)
-Dialing back my weed intake(Before i smoked pretty much every day, and i'm cutting back, now only smoking once/twice a week, hopefully i'll get to a point where I can quit soon)
-Cutting out soda/candy/fast food
-When I am drinking, stopping myself before i start to lose control
-Playing scrabble/sudoku/other brain games to try and keep my mind active

I just had a question about any other sort of vitamins/supplements I could take that could help me out. 5-htp didn't really seem to do much for me, and its benefits seem to be controversial anyways. I'm seeing other posts about Saint John's Wort and Tryptophan, would either of these be a good idea?
 
gucciman said:
I've decided to take this as a wakeup call. 2010 was marked basically from start to finish by huge drug use, culminating in this final MDMA binge. The longest i went without smoking weed the whole year was about 3-4 days, i did psychedelics regularly, and I got hammered to the point of puking/blacking out at least twice a week. The fact that i managed to make it that far without suffering any ill effects surprised me.
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Considering what you just described here, it doesn't seem like rolling 6 times over a 2.5 month period is the root of your problems...the blacking out at least twice a week alone will make you feel out of it/anxious/depressed and is in essence worse for your body than rolling. Smoking weed and using psychadelics aren't necessarily the best things either... I'd suggest you just chill out with everything for a while til you get your head straight...one word my friend: MODERATION.
 
gnarleyonaharley said:
Considering what you just described here, it doesn't seem like rolling 6 times over a 2.5 month period is the root of your problems...the blacking out at least twice a week alone will make you feel out of it/anxious/depressed and is in essence worse for your body than rolling. Smoking weed and using psychadelics aren't necessarily the best things either... I'd suggest you just chill out with everything for a while til you get your head straight...one word my friend: MODERATION.
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I was exaggerating a little bit, i wasn't blacking out literally every week but it certainly happened on a regular basis....i've certainly learned my lesson, and i'm in fact spending this coming friday night playing scrabble, lol
 
gucciman said:
I've been noticing that ever since about the 3rd time I did it i've been having a harder and harder time concentrating on things, i feel generally dazed/distant, and have been feeling anxious/depressed.
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take it from a professional ecstasy eatin champion that your use is not phenomenal. I mean you are a bit out of control but if you just stop what some might consider now or current, I think you can take a break until summer.

plus beain on an ssri usually mostly means your mentally disabled and shouldnt be rolling balls on a mental anxi-itant on ecstasy in the furst place cause it just get worse.
 
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