Hi everyone,
New to this forum and I've been reading a lot.
As brief as possible, I took my first ecstacy at 17, in a safe supported quiet space. I took it a couple of times 17-18 after. I didn't take it during my gap year at 19 but age 20, for a good year, I took alot. I was having social challenges starting Uni and self medicated...I also absolutely loved psychadelic trance. I had some wonderful times. Mind blowing, literally. To hazard a guess, which is very hard but important to do, I took it every week to every other week/3weeks for a year, maybe year and half. I had it one more time at age 27...with lots of drink and 30 hour party binge. Sometimes I'd take 2-3 pills on a big night. I also dabbled in other things, trying everything under the sun. I went too hard.
I developed clinical depression in my second year and ended up having to defer my last year. I finished in the end - I worked extremely hard to make up. But not without antidepressants and a disasterous past of police record, abortion, affair with married man, an STD from my ecstacy induced mess. Awfull things. Lots of it was due to pre existing self esteem, but without a doubt was made what it was because of my irresponsible drug use.
The reason I'm writing. Here I am, just turned 28. No established career, nothing to show for myself. That again can't be blamed linearly on the drug, but the deep depression took on a snowball effect that has led me to here. I fall in and out of depression now. Additionally, I think the level of ecstacy use destroyed so many fundamental footings in my brain, my personality. I have little creativity, lack the ablity to know how I feel or what I want. The worst - I have cognitive issues that I worry seriously that are a result of the party time; I have little working memory, my memory recall is poor, I struggle to find words, string scentences, problem solve, make connections, take information in, remember things, pay attention. I have problems of delayed gratification, I'm over emotional.
I have been exploring pre existing Attention Deficit Disorder. Understanding this condition and attending a workshop on it, this could be a cause of all these issues. The impacts of this condition and damage from ecstacy use are simlar - damage to the prefrontal lobe.
I really regret going so hard with the partying. I'm angry I didn't reach out more rather than self medicate. I believe you can avoid the damage taking it easy and doing it occasionally, supporting your body in the process. PLEASE TAKE HEED - I beg all users to take it easy. I know most people here do. But Look out for others who seem to be irresponsibly self medicating - going it too much. If they don't have the family support, no one will care. Its friends responsibilty to look out for each other. It is not worth the pain for the rest of their life.
Anyway, the real reason I posted - Can people please recommend what I can take to rebuild brain power? What things are proven?
Thank you!
New to this forum and I've been reading a lot.
As brief as possible, I took my first ecstacy at 17, in a safe supported quiet space. I took it a couple of times 17-18 after. I didn't take it during my gap year at 19 but age 20, for a good year, I took alot. I was having social challenges starting Uni and self medicated...I also absolutely loved psychadelic trance. I had some wonderful times. Mind blowing, literally. To hazard a guess, which is very hard but important to do, I took it every week to every other week/3weeks for a year, maybe year and half. I had it one more time at age 27...with lots of drink and 30 hour party binge. Sometimes I'd take 2-3 pills on a big night. I also dabbled in other things, trying everything under the sun. I went too hard.
I developed clinical depression in my second year and ended up having to defer my last year. I finished in the end - I worked extremely hard to make up. But not without antidepressants and a disasterous past of police record, abortion, affair with married man, an STD from my ecstacy induced mess. Awfull things. Lots of it was due to pre existing self esteem, but without a doubt was made what it was because of my irresponsible drug use.
The reason I'm writing. Here I am, just turned 28. No established career, nothing to show for myself. That again can't be blamed linearly on the drug, but the deep depression took on a snowball effect that has led me to here. I fall in and out of depression now. Additionally, I think the level of ecstacy use destroyed so many fundamental footings in my brain, my personality. I have little creativity, lack the ablity to know how I feel or what I want. The worst - I have cognitive issues that I worry seriously that are a result of the party time; I have little working memory, my memory recall is poor, I struggle to find words, string scentences, problem solve, make connections, take information in, remember things, pay attention. I have problems of delayed gratification, I'm over emotional.
I have been exploring pre existing Attention Deficit Disorder. Understanding this condition and attending a workshop on it, this could be a cause of all these issues. The impacts of this condition and damage from ecstacy use are simlar - damage to the prefrontal lobe.
I really regret going so hard with the partying. I'm angry I didn't reach out more rather than self medicate. I believe you can avoid the damage taking it easy and doing it occasionally, supporting your body in the process. PLEASE TAKE HEED - I beg all users to take it easy. I know most people here do. But Look out for others who seem to be irresponsibly self medicating - going it too much. If they don't have the family support, no one will care. Its friends responsibilty to look out for each other. It is not worth the pain for the rest of their life.
Anyway, the real reason I posted - Can people please recommend what I can take to rebuild brain power? What things are proven?
Thank you!
