Yea, I agree that if you are unable to do it you cant beat yourself up over it. you always do your best for you kid, give them everything you got and thats all you can do. I hate to think of a mom out there who cant breastfeed for medical reasons or w/ever, who is sittin there crying every day becuz she wants so bad to be able to do that for her baby and cant. That aint the way it should be, and that pain of feeling like you didnt do the best you could for your kid, that overwhelming guilt is a terrible feeling that can eat you up inside. a mom who aint able to breast feed her baby dont deserve to be feeling that becuz she is just doing her best and I would never have a damn thing to say about it.
I made my opinions pretty clear so i dont mean to go off on it. and I aint tryna put people down, I guess i just feel like its very difficult to justify choosing not to becuz "i just carried him for 9 months, geez, i deserve a break!" It aint like breast feeding is this horrible super time consuming awful annoying pain in the ass thing that is a terrible inconvenience. Yea, you got to feed your baby slightly more often when you dont bottle feed them. babies eat a lot.
I just feel like damn, on the grand scheme of things you do for your kid, this one aint a really huge sacrifice. I personally dont see why it gotta be a sacrifice at all but different women got different priorities. These days i notice more and more a kind of trend towards the "hey, forget about the kid for a minute how about me?" type mentality. its becoming a lot more common for women to be more concerned about themself and their needs/wants. which aint all bad--the "martyr mom" can be negative in many ways and aint healthy, moms do need to make sure they take care of themselfs so they can do their best taking care of their baby for sure
. But i have heard women say all kind of shit lately that reflects the more self oriented kind of views that are getin more common these days, that aint about making sure they are taken care of so they can take care of their kid, but is more just about feeling that they dont deserve to have to make sacrifices for their baby and it aint fair that they are expected to, etc. I feel that to some extent, thats the type of thinking that the whole "not breast feeding just becuz you been carryin your baby this long so you deserve a break" attitude goes along with. I don think its awfully, horribly selfish and evil or nothing, but i do feel that yea, it is slightly selfish to justify your choice not to with a reason like that.
i agree with the posters who said that hey, youre a mom now, it aint about you. being a mom is making sacrifices, thats how it is, and while i dont think its fair for a woman to be expected to be a total self denying saint, i think that something like this, that really has very few if any negative effects on a mother, is all that much of a sacrifice, and if you view it as one and aint willing to make it, i dont understand that thinking.
Sure, If its something that involves a frivolous pleasure for your child or a serious need for yourself, yea, you should take care of yourself in that situation. But something like this, that does so much good for the baby and so little bad (if any) for you, cant just be rationalized away on some "Well i want to make life easier for myself!" type shit.
Anyways, Ocean, this might interest you. I have read a new study that show that the DHA added to the baby formula does not increase the IQ of babies or have the positive effects that was first assumed, and apparently when its added to formula it dont have the same positive effects that the naturally occuring DHA in breast milk has.
There is even some questions about whether or not its safe to add these artificially into breast milk. The FDA website says that there is "mixed evidence" of term benefit and no evidence for any long term benefit that been observed from adding DHA/AHA to infant formula.
For some reason it is effective when it comes from the mother naturally, but very possibly not when its artifically added. I aint sayin that to discourage you or nothing, i just thought you might find it interesting. In your situation you aint got a choice, so i dont want to make you feel bad about it. But i feel that if i was in your position i would want to be as aware as possible of this type of thing.
here is one quote i came across
What is troublesome, however, is that some infant formulas contain DHA- and ARA-containing oils that are novel foods—extracted from laboratory-grown fermented algae and fungus and processed utilizing a toxic chemical, hexane. These algal and fungal oils provide DHA and ARA in forms that are structurally different from those naturally found in human milk. These manufactured oils are known as DHASCO and ARASCO, which stand for docosahexaenoic acid single cell oil and arachidonic acid single cell oil.
These oils are produced by Martek Biosciences Corporation and appear to be added to infant formula primarily as a marketing tool designed to convince parents that formula is now “as close as ever to breast milk.” Substantiating this thesis is a Martek investment promotion from 1996, which reads as follows: “Even if [the DHA/ARA blend] has no benefit, we think it would be widely incorporated into formulas, as a marketing tool and to allow companies to promote their formula as ‘closest to human milk.'”
Scientists have conducted numerous studies that show little or no benefit to an infant’s development from adding DHASCO and ARASCO to infant formula. Overall, research results are inconsistent and inconclusive. Meanwhile, the formula companies have advertised aggressively in an attempt to convince parents that their DHA/ARA formula provides the same nutrients, and therefore the same benefits, as breast milk.
The shit in red is the shit that really, really pisses me off. these mutha fuckas are the real evil ones here, not the women who been misled to believe that formula is "just as good", etc. It aint the regular mothers fault when they been told that formula is better or just as good and then choose to use it instead--They hear these claims and they believe that its true. Its the formula companies that do this shady shit to trick people and manipulate them and pass on false information. You cant help it if you been told this stuff that formula is really just basically the same, etc. Many, many women been raised to believe this their whole life, that aint their fault becuz they been misled. Thats another reason why I had the original question--becuz i feel like many women DONT breastfeed becuz they been led to believe it really aint no difference, and if they did know the factual information i believe their decision would be different.
I guess i feel like this...If someone told you that you could feed your baby a food that been perfectly engineered just for him, that would enhance his immune system, make him less likely to catch common illnesses and health problems, prevent obesity, cause slightly higher IQ's, promote healthy bonding with you, that can decrease tooth plaque cavities and decay, is instantly available 24/7, and its perfectly free and unlimited....or you can give your baby a food that makes your child more likely to have problems with overweight/obesity once he gets older, makes him more likely to get cavities, costs lots of money,and takes time and preparation to get ready and requires you to buy extra equipment to give to him....Which one would make more sense? you feel me?
It aint that Im tryna put nobody down. Im just struggling to understand the justification for not doing it when it aint done by choice and not as a necessity, becuz all the reasons i have heard , to me, are just very weak, and dont even come close to outweighting the benefits.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
