I was RX'd 10mg of Celexa and 1mg per day of kpin when i became depressed during my divorce 6 years ago. I WISH my dr would have explained at the time that starting an ssri could lead to a very lengthy usage, horrible withdrawls, and side effects that outweigh minor depression. At first the combo worked well when combined with therapy. When my symptoms returned (depression, anxiety, horrible gastrointestinal problems) i was treated as a guinea pig and began being rx'd a different amtidepressant every month for quite some time. During this process i was prescribed Tramadol which was horrible for me both mentally and physically, lyrica which i also did not handle well at all. It made me physically sick and mentally fogged to the point that i was useless, Amitryptiline had no positive effects for me. During this process, which spanned a couple of years i was prescribed Cymbalta because of the gastrointestinal problems and joint pain (mainly in my legs) coupled with the depression symptoms. At first the combo of cymbalta and 1mg of kpin 2 times per day was THE combo that worked for me. After being on these meds for approx a year and a half i began having horrible problems sleeping. Ambien did not help, and i was having the most vivid nightmares to the point i was scared to sleep.
At this point i decided that i had to stop the Cymbalta, and attempted this without the help of my dr. This was a horrible idea and i would have known this if i had researched it ahead of time. The withdrawals were absolutely horrible. The muscle and joint pain were unbearable, i could not sleep with any kind of regularity, and mentally the very symptoms that i was taking this drug for were now 100 times worse than when i started taking an antidepressant. After seeing my dr multiple times i believe i was put on every ssri, snri,and off label use antidepressant substitute he could think of.
I have a very stressful career being a defense attorney and at that time i was handling the type of cases that many people could not handle (sex cases). I was not an active participant in the process of choosing my meds, i simply did what my dr told me to do because i respect him and trust him very much as he has been my dr for almost 8 years. When i was rx'd Lexapro things became manageable. I started at 20mg per day, and the 1mg 2/day kpin stayed the same. This combo worked for approx a year and then my symptoms came back stronger then ever. The depression was not the biggest issue for me at this point. The negative effects of the divorce were long gone, but the muscle and joint pain, sleeplessness, and gastrointestinal problems became again unbearable.
My dr always blamed the stress level of my profession for the g.i. problems. At this point i underwent every test for g.i. issues known to modern medicine and while i did have an ulcer that bled from time to time i was taking the little purple pill for the duration of my treatment so my dr flat out told me that i would be on some type of antidepressant the rest of my life. This was completely unacceptable to me. For one, i began taking an ssri as the result of a very specific depressing situation that was long in the past, and more importantly the meds i was being put on and having changed every couple of months were giving me side effects far worse than what i felt before i began an ssri regimen.
This is when i started doing my own research and changed doctors for this issue. I decreased the lexapro to 10mg per day for 6 months, then 5mg for 6 months but stopping the last bit of Lexapro has become THE issue. I wish my dr would have explained the way these drugs affected my brain function before starting me on them 6 years ago. I have literally spent the last 3 years attempting to stop any ssri treatment and until recently i was never able to stop the last, very small dosage without having withdrawals to the point that i was always forced to give in and return to the 10 mg dose of Lexapro.
Having said this, i do take responsibility for being in this situation and do not blame my dr even though i am sure that it sounds like i am blaming him. I am a very educated and relatively intelligent person and i should have done my research before starting down this path. Since your combo is so similar to mine and since you are doing your due diligence, that is why i am responding in such detail, and as you can see, this is my 2nd post so i usually troll and learn about various substances on this site and i use the knowledge i gain here to help not only myself but also my clients since a lot of my criminal defense cases in Tampa deal with drugs and drug dependency of some sort.
Having said that, here is what i have learned (due in large part to reading countless threads on this site). While i believe it was totally proper for my dr to start my ssri treatment during mybdivorce, but inshould have been told of the possibility that i would always be on them (i was 30 when this started), and how hard it possibly could be to stop taking the ssri when i wanted to. At the time i definitely needed to be on a mood stabilizer but i strongly believe that the isue should have been readdressed in 6 month increments and when multiple ssri, snri, and other meds did not relieve my symptoms, my dr should have either chosen a different treatment path, or should have suggested i see someone with more expertise than him.
After reading so much on here, i came to the very possible conclusion that while i was depressed at the time of my divorce, i was not suffering long term depression and therefore i have spent upwards of 5 to 6 years being misdiagnosed and guinea pigged to so many different antidepressant type drugs. I believe it is of the utmost importance to differentiate between Being Depressed and Suffering From Depression. Through research i have determined that most of my symptoms were/are much more classified as adult add then depression. As i have said, the negative effects of the divorce that depressed me at the time had been long gone, but the negative side effects of stopping ssri treatment has kept me on a drug for years that i no longer need to take.
I made very specific lifestyle changes (read that as not defending sex cases anymore...and yes by sex cases i am speaking of the worst imagineable type), participating in talk therapy for a long period of time, and basically becoming more educated about myself and the reasons i choose to make the type of decisions in relationships and life that lead to depressing results.
That brings us up to date. I am taking 5mg per day of Lexapro and i take the 1mg kpins as needed for anxious situations. But, over the last 2 months i have attempted to stop the Lexapro upwards of 10times and the result has been the same each time. I cannot sleep yet i dont have the energy to do anything, i stopped every hobby that i used to enjoy (golf, fishing, hunting, building fast cars), after a few days off of the medication i become incredibly moody, sometimes its overly emotional, sometimes i feel depressed for no reason, most times i simply do not care about anything. I own my own business which has certainly suffered from this. I lack any and all motivation to do even the smallest of things, i have become much more ocd than i ever was even though it was always in my personality. I HAVE to have 20 things to do before i will begin to do anything. All of these things combined obviously make me very unhappy. So, recently i asked my dr to prescribe me adderall in an attempt to stop the Lexapro. I take one 20mg pill in the morning and while i have never taken any form of an amphetamine before this, the results are amazing even though it hasn't been long enough for me to say for sure that this will work.
What i do know is that i have been able to not take the Lexapro for almost a week,and while i certainly feel the physical effects of not taking it (really bad headaches, sweats,chills,brain zaps,sleeplessness) emotionally i feel much better. The real reason i chose to stop taking Lexapro is because i am in a very fulfilling and healthy long term relationship. She has been incredibly understanding of my Jekyll and Hyde mood swings and just plain bitching and whining every time i attempted to stop, but it is unfair to her to put her through this for too long,and sooner or later even the best woman (or man) is going to get tired of it. I have never been happier in my life both in my personal relationships and with my career, so therefore i want OFF of the meds for depression since i am no longer depressed. It sounds very simple but stopping Lexapro has proven to be so hard that taking it is necessary to function. I chose to not just function but be an active participant in my life again so i HAVE to stop the ssri. The Adderall has given me the energy that i have lacked and was treated as a symptom of depression, it has given me the focus that i used to have and the drive that i lost while on the ssri meds.
I know this is incredibly long but if it helps you or anyone else in making the decision whether to start, continue, or quit an ssri treatment then it was worth the time it took to write. I do not hate Lexapro or ssri's, but i think people need to educate themselves as much as possible about them before starting them so you know what you could be in store for. I am aware that everyone has different experiences with these medications and there are people thatthey work wonders for, and there are those that can stop without the difficulties i have had. You owe it to yourself to use your favorite search engine and search the words "SSRI Withdrawal". You will find more information than you can read and most importantly you will then be able to make the most educated decision as to whether or not you want to go this route. Anyone that says that ssri's do not make your body develop a physical dependence is either simply wrong, or incredibly lucky. Again, i apologize for the length of this but a useful answer to your question cannot be made in a couple of sentences. Good Luck with whatever you decide.
