GuatamaToro
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2010
- Messages
- 31
PLEASE NOTE: I posted this trip report on another forum and didn't get a membership on this site until a month ago, so I finally found this section and realized I should share it here. It's a LONG read, but I've gotten an immense amount of positive feedback. I hope you have a good read.
Before doing any substance, I almost always look into it. I like to have in depth study session on how the substance works, what it does to your body, how it effects it, and have a general idea as to what occurs while this substance is inside of you. With LSD, this case was no different. Id done my research and learned quite a few surprising things about it, so I felt more than prepared to take the next step in my drug frenzy. Being an experienced user of DMT, Molly (the purest and most potent form of MDMA), coke, shrooms, 2C-B, and cannabis, I had nothing but good thoughts and excitement going into the whole LSD scene.
After finally getting a connect down, I pick up my very first tab of acid ever and holy sh.t was it a tab. This tab was not only directly shipped from California (the state with arguably the best acid in the country, but it was double-dipped. This meant that the chemist or whoever dealt with the acid dipped the blotter paper in the actual LSD two times, making it twice as potent and the equivalent of two tabs. The tab was called a Purple Lady, the reason being its appearance:
This is the actual tab that I took. Sorry for the sh.tty cell phone quality, but the smaller you make the picture the better the quality is and the better you can see it. -snip- When I paid for it, my guy showed me a small sheet of the exact same acid I just bought. It looked pretty sweet and it was nice seeing a sheet with my own eyes for once. The tab was incredibly small and sandwiched between 2 pieces of tin foil.
After I get done talking with my dealer and such, I take my tab home and put it away in my dark closet stash. I chill downstairs for awhile listening to music and talking to my girlfriend and a few other of my friends over Facebook. I couldnt stop thinking about the acid. It was consuming my mind. I was so tempted to take it, but I know I shouldnt do it. Not only was my stepmom going to be home later in the evening for the rest of the night but so was my 9 year old half brother and my dad. Am I really going to be that stupid and careless? Yes. I was. Ive been on such a search for acid for many months. Missouri is currently experiencing an enormous drought of acid because the last chemist that made the LSD in our state got arrested about 4 years ago, so the people that can get acid in Missouri know some pretty serious people. I was thinking about how it would probably be pretty f..king stupid to trip at my own house, but I decided to do it anyway. The reason being is because Ive always rolled, tripped, and snooted blow with my friends but I wanted to have a nice spiritual journey by myself for once. I didnt really want to do it today (Thursday) because I had Future Soldier Training and I figured I would be tired. I didnt want to do it on Friday or Saturday because I was just way too impatient, plus I didnt think anyone would want to be around me for 9 hours (none of my friends would have a tab by then).
So the time finally comes! I undo the tin foil coverage very carefully and meticulously until I have the bare blotter tab in my fingers being held up by the edges. I set it down on top of my silver grinder so I can get a quick picture of it, and then I dropped it. I placed it on top of my tongue and let it sit there for about 45 seconds before I started moving it around my mouth. The paper started to dissolve and deteriorate and got noticeably smaller the more and more time progressed. After 2 minutes, it was a broken up and damp stamp so I swallowed it. At this point Im very excited and really hope that the acid treats me well. From my online research, a lot of people like to compare acid to shrooms and since Im experienced and well-learned on shrooms, I figured that it wouldnt be that hard of a trip. The reason I thought this is because Ive done 4 grams of shrooms and they gave me zero visuals whatsoever. I had an assumption that my acid trip would be purely psychological like my shrooms trip, except hopefully with a bit of color emphasis and color distortion. So in other words, I didnt have insanely high expectations but I sure as hell was hoping for some nice visuals.
I immediately proceed to go downstairs and listen to some music and continue my Facebook adventures while I wait to trip. I talk to people for about 45 minutes, and then I turn on an amazing 46 minute dubstep mix. The mix had me going crazy and wanting to dance around. My body was feeling a bit weird, but it wasnt anything remotely close to a trip. I was fascinated by the incredible mix and found myself talking about how amazing it was. There were some really amazing drops and transitions that had me giggling from how awesome they were to me. When I finish the mix, about an hour and a half after I took my tab, I decided to go venture around because I wasnt feeling anything still.
I go outside in the slightly-drizzling, cloudy afternoon and proceed to walk to this very beautiful mini-park. On the way there, I was very fascinated and entranced with how beautiful everything was. I wasnt tripping visually at all, but I had a lot more respect and appreciation for the nature that was around me (even though Im already a huge fan of nature). I was feeling the LSD take me over a bit as I felt out-of-body, care-free, and roaming around in a drunk / disoriented like manner. I get to the park and just gaze in amazement at the beautiful and enormous trees. I end up playing on the playground for a bit (just d.cking around) and calling my sister. I was extremely giggly and incoherent and was having a very enjoyable body high with no visuals at all. After speaking with my sister and deciding it was time for me to leave this beautiful mini-park, I texted my acid dealer asking for some kush. He, of course, had some on him because he is also my bud dealer and he used to be my old Molly and 2C-B dealer. I asked if we could toke together out of his nice bong and he agreed. -snip- The thing I like about this kid is that he lives less than 100 yards from my house, making it extremely easy with pickups. I was extremely excited to pickup bud because I heard from quite a few people that smoking weed on LSD intensifies the trip and makes visuals a lot stronger. Let me be the first to tell you that its the f..king truth.
I arrive at his house about 2 and a half hours after eating my tab (still with no visuals or overwhelmingly strong body high. I am definitely having a mini trip and am really enjoying everything around me, being all giggly and care-free, but I am not having what should be an acid trip.). I walk into my guys house and am instantly greeted by 2 of my buddies who I get high with a sh.tload. Ali (19 year old, who is a dude might I add considering the name seems to be girly. Its pronounced Ah-lee) and Jimmy (this 16 year old kid who used to be one of my other bud dealers) greeted me in my main dealers room. I get my sac and we head into the sunroom. In this sunroom is a very nice toking setup. There is a leather couch, a sh.tty recliner chair, and a normal chair. Theres a MASSIVE Bob Marley poster that takes up one of the entire walls, burning Buddha incense, and a radio player with an iPod dock for tunes. We load up this beautiful and big bong with my kush and proceed to take turns taking tokes. We finish the bowl and Ali pulls out his stream roller. It was my first time hitting a steamroller and boy did I like it. We hit a bowl of the same kush out of his steamroller and I was pretty blazed. We had the Buddha incense burning in the room and finally put on some good musicKid Cudi. I then proceeded to pack another bowl in the bong and we toked that as well. Finally, I threw in my last nug into a new bowl and Ali matched, making a fat bowl. We all toked it out of the bong and were finally finished with an intense smoking session. Little did I know that this would be the end of me and the acid was about to take over.
Im having a great time with my 3 boys and we are high as f..k. My main dealer is acting all goofy and getting hyphy to the music and we are all just talking and laughing. I notice that there seems to be a slight blur / duplication over everything that I laid my eyes on. We all are just chilling in our own spots jamming to music and then things start to get exaggerated in color and almost smudgy. A few minutes later I soon found myself having a trip that was EXTREMELY similar to the DMT I trip off of. Everything was 3D and bulgy, coming out at me, moving around, swirling, etc. I told my main dealer that I was tripping balls and that I was having a trip EXACTLY like DMT except I was going to continue to trip this way for a while instead of so shortly like DMT. I was having a f..king awesome time looking at everything move and do its thing. Eventually, Jimmy ends up suggesting that he and I go outside to trip balls because it would be a lot better out there and we would trip harder in an outside environment. I assumed that he was just talking about me, but I find out that Jimmy was on Triple Cs. Regardless, he and I walked outside and instantly started tripping harder. We got into the backyard where there is a deck and a pool and we were falling over like we were belligerently drunk. We were just very uncoordinated from the environment around us. Everything was under control and nothing was going crazy, but I just had a hard time walking around in the dark while I was high as f..k and under the influence of LSD. Eventually we walk over to the pool and Jimmy says Toro, look at the pool. Youll f..king trip BALLS. So I walk over to Jimmy (who is now playing with the pool water with his arm) and I stare at the water. It appears to just be a normal pool, yet I cant help but laugh uncontrollably and be amazed. I start to really concentrate and stare at it and the pool starts going haywire. The water starts moving around all crazily with these block-like Leggo patterns and it was f..king awesome. After looking at it for a bit, I touch it and it feels amazing. A nice, cool feeling kissing my skin up to my forearm. The ripples that are coursing in the water make the entire pool look like a static. I crack up and then continue to trip out to the pool. Almost immediately after looking at the pool again, I felt like I was in a helicopter overlooking a mountain. The pool water seemed to turn into snow and the little dark leaves that were in the pool ended up turning into trees that were really far away. To get a better understanding of exactly what I saw, imagine being directly above this image in a helicopter, looking down at the top of the mountain:
I commented on exactly what I was seeing and I was loving it. Jimmy was laughing hysterically and was so amused at how I was tripping so hard. We proceeded to stumble and fall over back inside where we sit back in the room with Ali and my main dealer. We are just chilling and vibing to the music.
Ali is sitting next to me high as f..k and he asks me what Im seeing. When he asked that, I looked around and saw everything was animated. I felt like I was in Rugrats and, more specifically, that I was sitting on a toy shelf like in Toy Story. At this point, Im tripping f..king balls and I hardly have a grip on reality. Im just enjoying the animated world around me and I end up getting off the leather couch and going back on my recliner. I start squirming around a little bit because Im having a really nice body high and Im giggling at everything. I close my eyes and I see some f..king insane visuals. Complex geometric patterns are shooting around in the dark and they are all over the place. I open my eyes pretty quickly and start blinking pretty hard and slow. As I did this, I held my hand out in front of me like the hand on the right:
As I did this and looked at my hand while blinking hard and slowly, rainbows were flying around in the background. I was practically looking through my hand and just saw lands and roads of long, skinny rainbows. As I was staring in amazement, I had another hard and slow blink and as I looked at my hand again, my hand had no skin and it was just a skeleton. This wasn’t scary at all to me. I was thoroughly amused with the fact that I had a bone hand with rainbows in the background. This image lasted for about 2 seconds in actual time, but it felt like a minute. At this point, I knew I was tripping INCREDIBLY f..king hard (and loving every second of it). I am curious as to what is going on around in the house so I stumble and wobble out of the sunroom and try to make my way into living room. While running through the kitchen I eventually scrape some brownies out of a pan that my main dealer had made and I snack on some. It felt incredibly weird to be eating so I ended up stopping pretty soon. I stumbled and disorientedly made my way into the living room where my main dealer was watching TV and Jimmy was on the computer putting tunes on. I take a seat next to Jimmy, who is now playing Bassnectar via Youtube videos. We take turns putting songs on by him and enjoy it thoroughly.
All good things must unfortunately come to an end, though. Throughout the entire time I’m over at my main dealer’s house with my boys, I have a very eerie and scared feeling sitting in the back of my mind that was making my very nervous: I had to go home eventually. I couldn’t stay at the house because my main dealer had to go make some drop-offs to people and the other guys had school the next day. So of course it eventually happened: “Alright guys, you gotta peace out” says my main dealer. (NOTE: At this point in time, all of my visuals come to a halt. I’m assuming it’s because of the fear and stress, but my hallucinations and visual distortions all come to an end. It’s now a psychological game with what is soon to be a physical one, too). My heart turns into a stone and sinks into the deepest pit of my stomach. With slurred words, I say “No, dude. I’ll die if I go home. There’s that one 4 lane street. I’ll get hit”. Jimmy opens the door and heads outside in the street and my main dealer calls his name. Jimmy waits in the street and says “Come on, Toro!” I head outside and start walking in the drizzling rain with him. I head up to the top of the street where the big 4 lane street is and Jimmy says “Alright man, I gotta take a right up here so I’ll see you later. Do NOT get hit by a car. It won’t be hard. Just avoid the big bright lights. Ha.” He walks away and makes his turn as I sit there a lot less worried than I thought I would be. After standing there for about 10 seconds, the road is perfectly clear and there is no one for a long distance. I happily and calmly rush across the large street and walk down my own street to my house. I walk up the steps to my door around 10 PM and I stand there for a second. I try to form a coherent thought in my head as to what I would say if I was confronted as to where I was. After standing for a few seconds I just accepted that I couldn’t think straight to save my life so I just opened the door and walked inside.
Luckily no one is in the living room so I just rush into my room and close the door. At this point, I start to panic. What if someone walks into my room? What if someone in my family asks to talk to me? What if they wanted to know where I was? I couldn’t form a coherent excuse in my mind—I was way too nervous. THINK, TORO. f..kING THINK. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU. YOU’LL DESTROY YOUR ENTIRE FUTURE IF YOU GET CAUGHT. BE CLEVER AS YOU ALWAYS ARE. f..k! After this small battle with myself in my head I start to pace the room. I start slipping into a mind frame of sheer horror, sadness, and anxiety. I feel myself losing my sanity. I start undoing my bed sheets and trying to get it perfectly on my bed. I become obsessed with this task and I spend at least 15 minutes trying to make everything perfect. This task is consuming my world right now because I’m trying to stay calm, but failing miserably. I collapse onto my bed eventually and turns the lights off to try to think about what I can do. My stepmom and 9 year old half brother enter the dining room (directly outside my room) and sit there to do some of his school reading and work (He has such a late bedtime for his age. Unhealthy as hell, but hey blame it on my stepmom). I notice the lights in the dining room from under my door and I’m worried as hell. I continue to lay in my bed and look up at the ceiling trying to think of what I can do. This wasn’t the best idea, because my ceiling has these planet and star stickers that glow in the dark. They were my sisters from like 9 years ago, but we never took them off. Anyways, I stare at them and start visually tripping again. I feel like I’m flying around in the cosmos when all of the sudden I close my eyes and roll on my side. I can’t start visually hallucinating again. No f..king way. I turn back on my back and just stare in front of me. All of the sudden I hear footsteps on the stairs from the basement that leads up directly to where I am near. My dad climbs up the stairs and out of nowhere opens my door. My nerves get shot to all hell. He keeps the lights off but approaches me. He says, “Hey Toro. Going to bed so soon?” I’m panicked because I can’t talk straight so I say “I’m tired”. He responds “Ok. Are you upset about something?” I take my time to respond and eventually say “No. I’m…blerugh..cus…tired.” He says OK and pats my leg. He walks out of the room and closes the door for me. Man, I kind of felt guilty but had no time to focus on that. I was about to undergo the worst psychological and physical punishment I have ever gone through in my entire life.
With my stepmom and half brother outside of my room and me ASSUMING that my dad is downstairs, I felt trapped in my room. I had nowhere to go and nowhere to hide. Was I really going to be stuck in this room for the rest of the evening? I turned off all the lights again and stripped down in my boxers and got underneath the covers. I laid there, starting to have trembles and ticks in my body. I had some muscle spasms that would make me flex at random or jolt slightly, mainly in my arms, legs, and neck. I was trying to fall asleep and end this nightmare but I was so incredibly restless. I knew I wasn’t falling asleep any time soon and that I was f..ked. Throughout the course of the night I had been texting people. I was texting my girlfriend Cassandra , my 20 year old sister Michela (who I’m really close with and is a really good friend of mine), and my friends Katrina, Ashley, Erin, Julia, and Justin (or some of you know him as BuK is SiK). I was trying to text message my girlfriend as I was laying in my bed having this panic attack but all that came out was scribbles—I couldn’t type for sh.t. Eventually, I ended up successfully sending my sister Michela a text that said “MICHI HELP ME I’M STUCK”. I don’t know why I said I was stuck, but I believe I was trying to say that I was stuck / trapped in a bad trip. Eventually, she called me. I started talking to her and calming down. I was trying to talk aloud with her but my thoughts were jumbled and my sentences were incoherent. I’d start talking normally, but then I’d switch to speaking in jibberish (saying random things that made absolutely no sense at all, like “tuhskired er mahhh and I”). I only had slight control of speaking aloud because half of my sentences would be jibberish. Me speaking wasn’t even fully clear because it was broken up sentences and such. Eventually, my sister had to leave and I shed a few tears. I shed a few tears because it made me think about when she left for college when I switched highschools and knew no one. I proceeded to go back to my bed with slightly stained eyes and lay down. My girlfriend Cassandra was calling me, but I ignored the call both times when she called because I didn’t want her to hear me in the condition I was in. A horrendous time was coming my way full force.
Laying in my bed, I started tossing and turning and squirming. I’d use my cell phone light to look around but I could hardly see past the end of my bed at all. My bed is quite large and takes up a decent part of the room, but when I was shining the light and looking around it was like a horror scene from a movie. My bed was twice as large as normal and I looked absolutely tiny in my bed as I was frantically crawling and squirming around. My breathing became very shallow and rapid, almost in a state of hyperventilation. I started whispering complete jibberish with my eyes wide open staring at the cold, blank wall. After about 15 minutes of this, I rocketed myself out of the bed and started repeating the process of fixing the sheets and concentrating on meaningless tasks in my room. And again, after failing at falling asleep and having these ticks and muscle spasms, I had enough. I stood up, turned the lights on, and put my clothes on. I was horrified and convinced that my dad was downstairs, but when I walked down there to check he was not there. This was a good step for me! I turned the lights on and turned some music on while trying to be on Facebook. I was still breathing awkwardly and having ticks in my neck and such and eventually I grew tired of doing nothing on Facebook. I even found myself annoyed with music. I then proceeded to head upstairs and check to see where everyone was. It turns out that my stepmom, dad, and half brother all were upstairs asleep! Another great step for me, but hell was still coming my way. I had all the lights off still and laid on the couch. I tried talking to Erin and Julia on my cell phone but they never responded to me. I texted my friend Hannah and concentrated so incredibly hard on texting coherent sentences, and it ended up working for the most part. I was capable of explaining to her that I was bad tripping and that I needed to talk to someone, but my attention was constantly shifting and was too impatient and fragile to keep texting.
I tried watching TV (Dragonball Z Kai and other random shows that were on at the time) but I was very restless. My head was still ticking and I grew extremely paranoid. At random times I would look over my shoulder with great speed and return to looking where I was originally facing. It was all done with the blink of an eye, like I was insane. My skin was crawling and it was unbearable. It made me incredibly restless and I couldn’t sit still without being extremely uncomfortable and in slight pain. It felt like there were hooks underneath my skin and it was being pulled in every direction imaginable. To get an idea of what I was like, this is a very similar comparison: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XT4ObtDs0yc
Finding my body to be restless and UNBEARABLE, I decided to try to give my attention to something else. I went into the kitchen and paced around frantically. I saw that there was some cake sitting out (my half brother just turned 9 a week or so ago) so I undid the lid and such and consumed a piece of it. Finding it decent, I scavenged around the fridge to find some other junk to eat. I ended up eating a couple pieces of raw cookie dough out of the package it came in, too. I head into the bathroom to wash my hands and I stared into the mirror. My pupils were evil, insane black holes that were the size of olives and the white of my eyes were shot to hell red. My face had a red tint to it as well. I stared at myself and was fascinated yet horrified with my appearance. As I stared into the mirror, I was shaking and with great agility and madness I looked to the left and right of me. I looked closer into the mirror and all I could think of was that I was absolutely crazy and mindless. I felt like I was a prisoner in my own body and that I belonged in an insane asylum. My ridiculous whispering of nonsense continued.
After returning to the living room again and being there for 10-20 minutes, I developed a great sense of pain in my stomach. Sharp pains were ripping through me and I didn’t know what the problem was. I texted my sister saying my body was ripping and that my stomach was absolutely killing me and she reassured me that things were okay and that she was so sorry. I tried taking a sh.t and ended up sitting naked on the toilet for about 10 minutes in absolute pain and horror (later in the evening I assumed it was because of the cake and raw cookie dough combination). I was wincing and groaning from the sharp pains, however I don’t recall sh.tting. I washed my hands again, brushed my teeth, and slapped on some deodorant after I stared at myself in horror and fascination in the mirror again.
I WANT THIS TO FUCKING END. I WANT THIS MADNESS TO STOP. I want the trembling to go away. I want the shaking to go away. I want the fucking spasms to go away. I want to stop whispering things that I don’t even know what I’m saying. I want to stop having ticks in my neck. I want to stop being literally insane. I want it all to be over with.
I head back to the living room and continue to watch TV for a couple more hours as the pains and awkwardness in my body continued to pursue. Gradually overtime, the whispering , ticks, and spasms stopped. At this point, it was just my skin crawling and restlessness that was doing me in. I head into my room strip again as I force myself to fall asleep overtime.
I wake up the next morning and feel like sh.t. I ended up only sleeping for like 7 hours. I still was a bit out of it and not fully there. I was a tad bit incoherent with my sentences and couldn’t form full thoughts all the way. My body was feeling pretty sh.tty, but I wasn’t in any pain. I was just uncomfortable. I ended up going to Future Soldier Training, where I ended up running, exercising, and sweating a lot only like 10 hours after this horrendous time occurred. When practice was over I came home, showered, ate, talked to a few friends, and by that evening I was okay again. I slept for 10 hours today and when I woke up I felt like sh.t again but I should be okay soon.
LSD is said to induce schizophrenia on some users, and I personally believe that I was a very disturbed and paranoid schizophrenic for about 4 hours. I had an actual and legitimate psychotic breakdown throughout the course of my bad trip and it was easily the most horrifying and traumatizing experience of my 18 years of life.
Things I did wrong: I shouldn’t have underestimated the drug--I completely took it way too lightly and it was my fault for assuming it would just be a psychological trip that I could control. I was extremely impulsive and was way too impatient for the drug—I took it out of sheer excitement and didn’t even have a remotely good plan for what I would do. I acknowledged the hard facts that the weather was sh.tty, that my parents would be home, and that I wouldn’t be out all night with friends yet I took the tab anyway. I was a fool and I learned a lesson that will never be forgotten or repeated.
Things I should have done: The #1 thing I should have done was waited for the weekend to come before tripping. Even if I decided to trip by myself (which I most likely would have done), I would have had the opportunity to have the house to myself. I also should have ended up picking up the phone call that my girlfriend was giving me because she was with her friend and they were going to pick me up. She couldn’t understand my texts but made out “LSD” in there somewhere. There was one text that was perfectly typed out that said “I really wish you were here right now”. If I wasn’t so afraid of what she would have thought, I could have been okay and safe with my girlfriend and friend.
An interesting note: I didn’t even have the slightest visuals until I smoked mass quantities of kush. LSD takes 20 to 90 minutes to kick in, and I was well over that (clocking in at over 2 and a half hours with no visuals or even a strong body high) so I am a definite believer that weed helps with visuals. I didn’t eat beforehand and I have a fast metabolism, so I am a full believer that weed intensifies trips and makes visuals incredibly strong. Absolutely.
Final thoughts: Acid is easily the best drug I have ever taken in my entire life. This may be preposterous to say, but I definitely am going to do it again and I look forward to it. Yes, I had a horrendous experience but I learned a great deal from it. That was my 2nd bad trip ever, and I learned and immense amount of things from it that I will implement in future trips of other substances as well as acid. I am extremely grateful that I have such a fantastic sister who would stay by me in the late hours of a bad trip. I’m grateful that my girlfriend tried getting in touch with me a few times to make sure that I was okay. Although my bad trip was traumatic and literally the most horrifying thing I have undergone in my entire life, I found it to be profoundly beautiful in a disturbing way. I experienced shear madness and true insanity, and I don’t regret it at all. I just wish that I wouldn’t have been so stupid, foolish, careless, reckless, and impulsive with my timing and such. Similar mistakes will never be made again and I’m excited to do this substance again.
Please note that this acid was double dipped and shipped directly from California, making it A LOT more potent than normal acid. None of the events were made up or exaggerated in any sense. I’m sure that I’m forgetting a few very small details, but they aren’t that important because they didn’t make it in this recap. I will never forget Wednesday, September 1st, 2010: The greatest and worst experience of my entire life.
Before doing any substance, I almost always look into it. I like to have in depth study session on how the substance works, what it does to your body, how it effects it, and have a general idea as to what occurs while this substance is inside of you. With LSD, this case was no different. Id done my research and learned quite a few surprising things about it, so I felt more than prepared to take the next step in my drug frenzy. Being an experienced user of DMT, Molly (the purest and most potent form of MDMA), coke, shrooms, 2C-B, and cannabis, I had nothing but good thoughts and excitement going into the whole LSD scene.
After finally getting a connect down, I pick up my very first tab of acid ever and holy sh.t was it a tab. This tab was not only directly shipped from California (the state with arguably the best acid in the country, but it was double-dipped. This meant that the chemist or whoever dealt with the acid dipped the blotter paper in the actual LSD two times, making it twice as potent and the equivalent of two tabs. The tab was called a Purple Lady, the reason being its appearance:
This is the actual tab that I took. Sorry for the sh.tty cell phone quality, but the smaller you make the picture the better the quality is and the better you can see it. -snip- When I paid for it, my guy showed me a small sheet of the exact same acid I just bought. It looked pretty sweet and it was nice seeing a sheet with my own eyes for once. The tab was incredibly small and sandwiched between 2 pieces of tin foil.
After I get done talking with my dealer and such, I take my tab home and put it away in my dark closet stash. I chill downstairs for awhile listening to music and talking to my girlfriend and a few other of my friends over Facebook. I couldnt stop thinking about the acid. It was consuming my mind. I was so tempted to take it, but I know I shouldnt do it. Not only was my stepmom going to be home later in the evening for the rest of the night but so was my 9 year old half brother and my dad. Am I really going to be that stupid and careless? Yes. I was. Ive been on such a search for acid for many months. Missouri is currently experiencing an enormous drought of acid because the last chemist that made the LSD in our state got arrested about 4 years ago, so the people that can get acid in Missouri know some pretty serious people. I was thinking about how it would probably be pretty f..king stupid to trip at my own house, but I decided to do it anyway. The reason being is because Ive always rolled, tripped, and snooted blow with my friends but I wanted to have a nice spiritual journey by myself for once. I didnt really want to do it today (Thursday) because I had Future Soldier Training and I figured I would be tired. I didnt want to do it on Friday or Saturday because I was just way too impatient, plus I didnt think anyone would want to be around me for 9 hours (none of my friends would have a tab by then).
So the time finally comes! I undo the tin foil coverage very carefully and meticulously until I have the bare blotter tab in my fingers being held up by the edges. I set it down on top of my silver grinder so I can get a quick picture of it, and then I dropped it. I placed it on top of my tongue and let it sit there for about 45 seconds before I started moving it around my mouth. The paper started to dissolve and deteriorate and got noticeably smaller the more and more time progressed. After 2 minutes, it was a broken up and damp stamp so I swallowed it. At this point Im very excited and really hope that the acid treats me well. From my online research, a lot of people like to compare acid to shrooms and since Im experienced and well-learned on shrooms, I figured that it wouldnt be that hard of a trip. The reason I thought this is because Ive done 4 grams of shrooms and they gave me zero visuals whatsoever. I had an assumption that my acid trip would be purely psychological like my shrooms trip, except hopefully with a bit of color emphasis and color distortion. So in other words, I didnt have insanely high expectations but I sure as hell was hoping for some nice visuals.
I immediately proceed to go downstairs and listen to some music and continue my Facebook adventures while I wait to trip. I talk to people for about 45 minutes, and then I turn on an amazing 46 minute dubstep mix. The mix had me going crazy and wanting to dance around. My body was feeling a bit weird, but it wasnt anything remotely close to a trip. I was fascinated by the incredible mix and found myself talking about how amazing it was. There were some really amazing drops and transitions that had me giggling from how awesome they were to me. When I finish the mix, about an hour and a half after I took my tab, I decided to go venture around because I wasnt feeling anything still.
I go outside in the slightly-drizzling, cloudy afternoon and proceed to walk to this very beautiful mini-park. On the way there, I was very fascinated and entranced with how beautiful everything was. I wasnt tripping visually at all, but I had a lot more respect and appreciation for the nature that was around me (even though Im already a huge fan of nature). I was feeling the LSD take me over a bit as I felt out-of-body, care-free, and roaming around in a drunk / disoriented like manner. I get to the park and just gaze in amazement at the beautiful and enormous trees. I end up playing on the playground for a bit (just d.cking around) and calling my sister. I was extremely giggly and incoherent and was having a very enjoyable body high with no visuals at all. After speaking with my sister and deciding it was time for me to leave this beautiful mini-park, I texted my acid dealer asking for some kush. He, of course, had some on him because he is also my bud dealer and he used to be my old Molly and 2C-B dealer. I asked if we could toke together out of his nice bong and he agreed. -snip- The thing I like about this kid is that he lives less than 100 yards from my house, making it extremely easy with pickups. I was extremely excited to pickup bud because I heard from quite a few people that smoking weed on LSD intensifies the trip and makes visuals a lot stronger. Let me be the first to tell you that its the f..king truth.
I arrive at his house about 2 and a half hours after eating my tab (still with no visuals or overwhelmingly strong body high. I am definitely having a mini trip and am really enjoying everything around me, being all giggly and care-free, but I am not having what should be an acid trip.). I walk into my guys house and am instantly greeted by 2 of my buddies who I get high with a sh.tload. Ali (19 year old, who is a dude might I add considering the name seems to be girly. Its pronounced Ah-lee) and Jimmy (this 16 year old kid who used to be one of my other bud dealers) greeted me in my main dealers room. I get my sac and we head into the sunroom. In this sunroom is a very nice toking setup. There is a leather couch, a sh.tty recliner chair, and a normal chair. Theres a MASSIVE Bob Marley poster that takes up one of the entire walls, burning Buddha incense, and a radio player with an iPod dock for tunes. We load up this beautiful and big bong with my kush and proceed to take turns taking tokes. We finish the bowl and Ali pulls out his stream roller. It was my first time hitting a steamroller and boy did I like it. We hit a bowl of the same kush out of his steamroller and I was pretty blazed. We had the Buddha incense burning in the room and finally put on some good musicKid Cudi. I then proceeded to pack another bowl in the bong and we toked that as well. Finally, I threw in my last nug into a new bowl and Ali matched, making a fat bowl. We all toked it out of the bong and were finally finished with an intense smoking session. Little did I know that this would be the end of me and the acid was about to take over.
Im having a great time with my 3 boys and we are high as f..k. My main dealer is acting all goofy and getting hyphy to the music and we are all just talking and laughing. I notice that there seems to be a slight blur / duplication over everything that I laid my eyes on. We all are just chilling in our own spots jamming to music and then things start to get exaggerated in color and almost smudgy. A few minutes later I soon found myself having a trip that was EXTREMELY similar to the DMT I trip off of. Everything was 3D and bulgy, coming out at me, moving around, swirling, etc. I told my main dealer that I was tripping balls and that I was having a trip EXACTLY like DMT except I was going to continue to trip this way for a while instead of so shortly like DMT. I was having a f..king awesome time looking at everything move and do its thing. Eventually, Jimmy ends up suggesting that he and I go outside to trip balls because it would be a lot better out there and we would trip harder in an outside environment. I assumed that he was just talking about me, but I find out that Jimmy was on Triple Cs. Regardless, he and I walked outside and instantly started tripping harder. We got into the backyard where there is a deck and a pool and we were falling over like we were belligerently drunk. We were just very uncoordinated from the environment around us. Everything was under control and nothing was going crazy, but I just had a hard time walking around in the dark while I was high as f..k and under the influence of LSD. Eventually we walk over to the pool and Jimmy says Toro, look at the pool. Youll f..king trip BALLS. So I walk over to Jimmy (who is now playing with the pool water with his arm) and I stare at the water. It appears to just be a normal pool, yet I cant help but laugh uncontrollably and be amazed. I start to really concentrate and stare at it and the pool starts going haywire. The water starts moving around all crazily with these block-like Leggo patterns and it was f..king awesome. After looking at it for a bit, I touch it and it feels amazing. A nice, cool feeling kissing my skin up to my forearm. The ripples that are coursing in the water make the entire pool look like a static. I crack up and then continue to trip out to the pool. Almost immediately after looking at the pool again, I felt like I was in a helicopter overlooking a mountain. The pool water seemed to turn into snow and the little dark leaves that were in the pool ended up turning into trees that were really far away. To get a better understanding of exactly what I saw, imagine being directly above this image in a helicopter, looking down at the top of the mountain:
I commented on exactly what I was seeing and I was loving it. Jimmy was laughing hysterically and was so amused at how I was tripping so hard. We proceeded to stumble and fall over back inside where we sit back in the room with Ali and my main dealer. We are just chilling and vibing to the music.
Ali is sitting next to me high as f..k and he asks me what Im seeing. When he asked that, I looked around and saw everything was animated. I felt like I was in Rugrats and, more specifically, that I was sitting on a toy shelf like in Toy Story. At this point, Im tripping f..king balls and I hardly have a grip on reality. Im just enjoying the animated world around me and I end up getting off the leather couch and going back on my recliner. I start squirming around a little bit because Im having a really nice body high and Im giggling at everything. I close my eyes and I see some f..king insane visuals. Complex geometric patterns are shooting around in the dark and they are all over the place. I open my eyes pretty quickly and start blinking pretty hard and slow. As I did this, I held my hand out in front of me like the hand on the right:
As I did this and looked at my hand while blinking hard and slowly, rainbows were flying around in the background. I was practically looking through my hand and just saw lands and roads of long, skinny rainbows. As I was staring in amazement, I had another hard and slow blink and as I looked at my hand again, my hand had no skin and it was just a skeleton. This wasn’t scary at all to me. I was thoroughly amused with the fact that I had a bone hand with rainbows in the background. This image lasted for about 2 seconds in actual time, but it felt like a minute. At this point, I knew I was tripping INCREDIBLY f..king hard (and loving every second of it). I am curious as to what is going on around in the house so I stumble and wobble out of the sunroom and try to make my way into living room. While running through the kitchen I eventually scrape some brownies out of a pan that my main dealer had made and I snack on some. It felt incredibly weird to be eating so I ended up stopping pretty soon. I stumbled and disorientedly made my way into the living room where my main dealer was watching TV and Jimmy was on the computer putting tunes on. I take a seat next to Jimmy, who is now playing Bassnectar via Youtube videos. We take turns putting songs on by him and enjoy it thoroughly.
All good things must unfortunately come to an end, though. Throughout the entire time I’m over at my main dealer’s house with my boys, I have a very eerie and scared feeling sitting in the back of my mind that was making my very nervous: I had to go home eventually. I couldn’t stay at the house because my main dealer had to go make some drop-offs to people and the other guys had school the next day. So of course it eventually happened: “Alright guys, you gotta peace out” says my main dealer. (NOTE: At this point in time, all of my visuals come to a halt. I’m assuming it’s because of the fear and stress, but my hallucinations and visual distortions all come to an end. It’s now a psychological game with what is soon to be a physical one, too). My heart turns into a stone and sinks into the deepest pit of my stomach. With slurred words, I say “No, dude. I’ll die if I go home. There’s that one 4 lane street. I’ll get hit”. Jimmy opens the door and heads outside in the street and my main dealer calls his name. Jimmy waits in the street and says “Come on, Toro!” I head outside and start walking in the drizzling rain with him. I head up to the top of the street where the big 4 lane street is and Jimmy says “Alright man, I gotta take a right up here so I’ll see you later. Do NOT get hit by a car. It won’t be hard. Just avoid the big bright lights. Ha.” He walks away and makes his turn as I sit there a lot less worried than I thought I would be. After standing there for about 10 seconds, the road is perfectly clear and there is no one for a long distance. I happily and calmly rush across the large street and walk down my own street to my house. I walk up the steps to my door around 10 PM and I stand there for a second. I try to form a coherent thought in my head as to what I would say if I was confronted as to where I was. After standing for a few seconds I just accepted that I couldn’t think straight to save my life so I just opened the door and walked inside.
Luckily no one is in the living room so I just rush into my room and close the door. At this point, I start to panic. What if someone walks into my room? What if someone in my family asks to talk to me? What if they wanted to know where I was? I couldn’t form a coherent excuse in my mind—I was way too nervous. THINK, TORO. f..kING THINK. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU. YOU’LL DESTROY YOUR ENTIRE FUTURE IF YOU GET CAUGHT. BE CLEVER AS YOU ALWAYS ARE. f..k! After this small battle with myself in my head I start to pace the room. I start slipping into a mind frame of sheer horror, sadness, and anxiety. I feel myself losing my sanity. I start undoing my bed sheets and trying to get it perfectly on my bed. I become obsessed with this task and I spend at least 15 minutes trying to make everything perfect. This task is consuming my world right now because I’m trying to stay calm, but failing miserably. I collapse onto my bed eventually and turns the lights off to try to think about what I can do. My stepmom and 9 year old half brother enter the dining room (directly outside my room) and sit there to do some of his school reading and work (He has such a late bedtime for his age. Unhealthy as hell, but hey blame it on my stepmom). I notice the lights in the dining room from under my door and I’m worried as hell. I continue to lay in my bed and look up at the ceiling trying to think of what I can do. This wasn’t the best idea, because my ceiling has these planet and star stickers that glow in the dark. They were my sisters from like 9 years ago, but we never took them off. Anyways, I stare at them and start visually tripping again. I feel like I’m flying around in the cosmos when all of the sudden I close my eyes and roll on my side. I can’t start visually hallucinating again. No f..king way. I turn back on my back and just stare in front of me. All of the sudden I hear footsteps on the stairs from the basement that leads up directly to where I am near. My dad climbs up the stairs and out of nowhere opens my door. My nerves get shot to all hell. He keeps the lights off but approaches me. He says, “Hey Toro. Going to bed so soon?” I’m panicked because I can’t talk straight so I say “I’m tired”. He responds “Ok. Are you upset about something?” I take my time to respond and eventually say “No. I’m…blerugh..cus…tired.” He says OK and pats my leg. He walks out of the room and closes the door for me. Man, I kind of felt guilty but had no time to focus on that. I was about to undergo the worst psychological and physical punishment I have ever gone through in my entire life.
With my stepmom and half brother outside of my room and me ASSUMING that my dad is downstairs, I felt trapped in my room. I had nowhere to go and nowhere to hide. Was I really going to be stuck in this room for the rest of the evening? I turned off all the lights again and stripped down in my boxers and got underneath the covers. I laid there, starting to have trembles and ticks in my body. I had some muscle spasms that would make me flex at random or jolt slightly, mainly in my arms, legs, and neck. I was trying to fall asleep and end this nightmare but I was so incredibly restless. I knew I wasn’t falling asleep any time soon and that I was f..ked. Throughout the course of the night I had been texting people. I was texting my girlfriend Cassandra , my 20 year old sister Michela (who I’m really close with and is a really good friend of mine), and my friends Katrina, Ashley, Erin, Julia, and Justin (or some of you know him as BuK is SiK). I was trying to text message my girlfriend as I was laying in my bed having this panic attack but all that came out was scribbles—I couldn’t type for sh.t. Eventually, I ended up successfully sending my sister Michela a text that said “MICHI HELP ME I’M STUCK”. I don’t know why I said I was stuck, but I believe I was trying to say that I was stuck / trapped in a bad trip. Eventually, she called me. I started talking to her and calming down. I was trying to talk aloud with her but my thoughts were jumbled and my sentences were incoherent. I’d start talking normally, but then I’d switch to speaking in jibberish (saying random things that made absolutely no sense at all, like “tuhskired er mahhh and I”). I only had slight control of speaking aloud because half of my sentences would be jibberish. Me speaking wasn’t even fully clear because it was broken up sentences and such. Eventually, my sister had to leave and I shed a few tears. I shed a few tears because it made me think about when she left for college when I switched highschools and knew no one. I proceeded to go back to my bed with slightly stained eyes and lay down. My girlfriend Cassandra was calling me, but I ignored the call both times when she called because I didn’t want her to hear me in the condition I was in. A horrendous time was coming my way full force.
Laying in my bed, I started tossing and turning and squirming. I’d use my cell phone light to look around but I could hardly see past the end of my bed at all. My bed is quite large and takes up a decent part of the room, but when I was shining the light and looking around it was like a horror scene from a movie. My bed was twice as large as normal and I looked absolutely tiny in my bed as I was frantically crawling and squirming around. My breathing became very shallow and rapid, almost in a state of hyperventilation. I started whispering complete jibberish with my eyes wide open staring at the cold, blank wall. After about 15 minutes of this, I rocketed myself out of the bed and started repeating the process of fixing the sheets and concentrating on meaningless tasks in my room. And again, after failing at falling asleep and having these ticks and muscle spasms, I had enough. I stood up, turned the lights on, and put my clothes on. I was horrified and convinced that my dad was downstairs, but when I walked down there to check he was not there. This was a good step for me! I turned the lights on and turned some music on while trying to be on Facebook. I was still breathing awkwardly and having ticks in my neck and such and eventually I grew tired of doing nothing on Facebook. I even found myself annoyed with music. I then proceeded to head upstairs and check to see where everyone was. It turns out that my stepmom, dad, and half brother all were upstairs asleep! Another great step for me, but hell was still coming my way. I had all the lights off still and laid on the couch. I tried talking to Erin and Julia on my cell phone but they never responded to me. I texted my friend Hannah and concentrated so incredibly hard on texting coherent sentences, and it ended up working for the most part. I was capable of explaining to her that I was bad tripping and that I needed to talk to someone, but my attention was constantly shifting and was too impatient and fragile to keep texting.
I tried watching TV (Dragonball Z Kai and other random shows that were on at the time) but I was very restless. My head was still ticking and I grew extremely paranoid. At random times I would look over my shoulder with great speed and return to looking where I was originally facing. It was all done with the blink of an eye, like I was insane. My skin was crawling and it was unbearable. It made me incredibly restless and I couldn’t sit still without being extremely uncomfortable and in slight pain. It felt like there were hooks underneath my skin and it was being pulled in every direction imaginable. To get an idea of what I was like, this is a very similar comparison: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XT4ObtDs0yc
Finding my body to be restless and UNBEARABLE, I decided to try to give my attention to something else. I went into the kitchen and paced around frantically. I saw that there was some cake sitting out (my half brother just turned 9 a week or so ago) so I undid the lid and such and consumed a piece of it. Finding it decent, I scavenged around the fridge to find some other junk to eat. I ended up eating a couple pieces of raw cookie dough out of the package it came in, too. I head into the bathroom to wash my hands and I stared into the mirror. My pupils were evil, insane black holes that were the size of olives and the white of my eyes were shot to hell red. My face had a red tint to it as well. I stared at myself and was fascinated yet horrified with my appearance. As I stared into the mirror, I was shaking and with great agility and madness I looked to the left and right of me. I looked closer into the mirror and all I could think of was that I was absolutely crazy and mindless. I felt like I was a prisoner in my own body and that I belonged in an insane asylum. My ridiculous whispering of nonsense continued.
After returning to the living room again and being there for 10-20 minutes, I developed a great sense of pain in my stomach. Sharp pains were ripping through me and I didn’t know what the problem was. I texted my sister saying my body was ripping and that my stomach was absolutely killing me and she reassured me that things were okay and that she was so sorry. I tried taking a sh.t and ended up sitting naked on the toilet for about 10 minutes in absolute pain and horror (later in the evening I assumed it was because of the cake and raw cookie dough combination). I was wincing and groaning from the sharp pains, however I don’t recall sh.tting. I washed my hands again, brushed my teeth, and slapped on some deodorant after I stared at myself in horror and fascination in the mirror again.
I WANT THIS TO FUCKING END. I WANT THIS MADNESS TO STOP. I want the trembling to go away. I want the shaking to go away. I want the fucking spasms to go away. I want to stop whispering things that I don’t even know what I’m saying. I want to stop having ticks in my neck. I want to stop being literally insane. I want it all to be over with.
I head back to the living room and continue to watch TV for a couple more hours as the pains and awkwardness in my body continued to pursue. Gradually overtime, the whispering , ticks, and spasms stopped. At this point, it was just my skin crawling and restlessness that was doing me in. I head into my room strip again as I force myself to fall asleep overtime.
I wake up the next morning and feel like sh.t. I ended up only sleeping for like 7 hours. I still was a bit out of it and not fully there. I was a tad bit incoherent with my sentences and couldn’t form full thoughts all the way. My body was feeling pretty sh.tty, but I wasn’t in any pain. I was just uncomfortable. I ended up going to Future Soldier Training, where I ended up running, exercising, and sweating a lot only like 10 hours after this horrendous time occurred. When practice was over I came home, showered, ate, talked to a few friends, and by that evening I was okay again. I slept for 10 hours today and when I woke up I felt like sh.t again but I should be okay soon.
LSD is said to induce schizophrenia on some users, and I personally believe that I was a very disturbed and paranoid schizophrenic for about 4 hours. I had an actual and legitimate psychotic breakdown throughout the course of my bad trip and it was easily the most horrifying and traumatizing experience of my 18 years of life.
Things I did wrong: I shouldn’t have underestimated the drug--I completely took it way too lightly and it was my fault for assuming it would just be a psychological trip that I could control. I was extremely impulsive and was way too impatient for the drug—I took it out of sheer excitement and didn’t even have a remotely good plan for what I would do. I acknowledged the hard facts that the weather was sh.tty, that my parents would be home, and that I wouldn’t be out all night with friends yet I took the tab anyway. I was a fool and I learned a lesson that will never be forgotten or repeated.
Things I should have done: The #1 thing I should have done was waited for the weekend to come before tripping. Even if I decided to trip by myself (which I most likely would have done), I would have had the opportunity to have the house to myself. I also should have ended up picking up the phone call that my girlfriend was giving me because she was with her friend and they were going to pick me up. She couldn’t understand my texts but made out “LSD” in there somewhere. There was one text that was perfectly typed out that said “I really wish you were here right now”. If I wasn’t so afraid of what she would have thought, I could have been okay and safe with my girlfriend and friend.
An interesting note: I didn’t even have the slightest visuals until I smoked mass quantities of kush. LSD takes 20 to 90 minutes to kick in, and I was well over that (clocking in at over 2 and a half hours with no visuals or even a strong body high) so I am a definite believer that weed helps with visuals. I didn’t eat beforehand and I have a fast metabolism, so I am a full believer that weed intensifies trips and makes visuals incredibly strong. Absolutely.
Final thoughts: Acid is easily the best drug I have ever taken in my entire life. This may be preposterous to say, but I definitely am going to do it again and I look forward to it. Yes, I had a horrendous experience but I learned a great deal from it. That was my 2nd bad trip ever, and I learned and immense amount of things from it that I will implement in future trips of other substances as well as acid. I am extremely grateful that I have such a fantastic sister who would stay by me in the late hours of a bad trip. I’m grateful that my girlfriend tried getting in touch with me a few times to make sure that I was okay. Although my bad trip was traumatic and literally the most horrifying thing I have undergone in my entire life, I found it to be profoundly beautiful in a disturbing way. I experienced shear madness and true insanity, and I don’t regret it at all. I just wish that I wouldn’t have been so stupid, foolish, careless, reckless, and impulsive with my timing and such. Similar mistakes will never be made again and I’m excited to do this substance again.
Please note that this acid was double dipped and shipped directly from California, making it A LOT more potent than normal acid. None of the events were made up or exaggerated in any sense. I’m sure that I’m forgetting a few very small details, but they aren’t that important because they didn’t make it in this recap. I will never forget Wednesday, September 1st, 2010: The greatest and worst experience of my entire life.
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