thank you everyone for replying.. i appreciate it
i gave all my klonopin to my friend, because i knew if i kept it i would take it again. my anxiety is that bad that i will just sit through the bad side effects most of the time just cause i can breathe. my boyfriends been trying to get me back on lexapro since i first took it. that's what my first psychiatrist put me on, and one time i had a bad coke come down that was worse than any come down i'd ever had, and i blamed the medicine. stupid obviously but then i flushed my TWO MONTH SUPPLY of lexapro he prescribed me. i wish i didn't. i kept all my other meds like wellbutrin and pristiq. but i do want to try lexapro again
bo what you said makes so much sense about it being my depression. the benzos kind of bringall of my levels down to the point i can't feel and that's not good at all. these past two months i thought my depression was reduced. i'm not crying everyday, thinking my life sucks, contemplating how long til i can kill myself etc. i just had super bad physical anxiety. i don't have a problem speaking, i play open mic nights for crying out loud. i dont have GAD, i don't have social anxiety. shit allows me to breathe and that's why it scares me because i feel able to go to school and able to hold a job, not cause i'm motivated to do THAT but because i feel i am capable of doing so. BUT, the second i step outside i want tio go right back in. i lose all ambition i had when i was inside to even go out. (this is when i take benzos). if i don't take benzos, i wake up shaking, smoke a bowl, still feel anxious the rest of the day, and still don't do anything that requires much effort on my part. i gotta smoke a bowl whenever i wanna breathe correctly and i just can't go through and eighth-quarter of bud a day again
i'm tired of spending the money. i just want lexapro mailed to me. i'm so tired of talking. it makes things worse for me i just know how fucked up shit has been for me i don't wanna go there again i just want my medicine in and out. but my doctor referred me to a psychiatrist after he gave me klonopin. so i probably HAVE to go there.
i do believe benzo long term is nasty. but i have freak outs on a daily basis that probably mimic those of a benzo withdrawal :/ i will beat the shit out of myself because my body is so itchy or tingly or i just cant stand to sit still because it hurts.
if i went to the psychiatrist, i was deeply considering just being honest. drugs fucked me up. i was a normal girl before drugs. now i'm diagnosed with 5 different things and still fucked up. i ate grams and grams of pure MDMA for three months, which you're just down right not supposed to do. serotonin depletion like that can take 6mths-1 yr to be restored. my body is fucked up. there's nothing to pin point on. i have the reason why i'm so fucked up but should i say it? i told my first p[sych and that's why he put me on lexapro. but is that really all i need?
like lexapro is going to be the best out of everything for me? it's just hard to believe. but i'll do it because i know it works for what it's supposed to, anti depressant. as for my anxiety, i hope it takes that on too. guess i get to go back to being a fucking pot head again
my boyfriend thinks i should ask for a beta blocker too
i was on the high dose to help tame psychosis, as the neuroleptics were worse.
more then 4 mg is not considered a psychiatric dose, there and beyond is used mostly for epilepsy. i begin to feel w/d symptoms after 14-16 hours.
once i got in a comfortable dose range, it seemed crazy i was never on it before. it will definitely give you the peace of mind to sort things out, and tapering can be done very smoothly with it, sometimes people still may get switched to valium, but compared to your other options forget about it.
xanax, ativan and the like seem cruel.
Depressica,
i doubt molly, or anyone in here posting cares for a psychedelic experience atm, chances are they've had plenty and are trying to leave that train of thought.
marijuana as a psychiatric medication is available from a doctor for some people, i benefit psychologically, and physically most of all legally. but, as a psych med i personally think it save a lot if energy to find the therapy or medication that keeps you stable, then consider the greenery and it ups and downs for you.
you have been on short acting benzos a while now?
and you started klonopin today?
if so, you are rebounding, thats all, take the meds as prescribed, if that means more then you wanted to today, do, how long ago did you take the klonopin?
more then six hours take some.
be careful, think hard and focus on what is happening, try not to assume anything.
i haven't been on them that long

I took xanax four days in a row at my prescribed .25 the first day, and had to take 4 each day and still didn't feel anything. i had a panic attack on half a bar of xanax like really? thanks foir your reply, and you're right i definitely can't handle another trip right now. i believe it would help, if me fearing the hours long trip before hand didn't psych me out. i know i'd have a horrific trip, so i jsut don't. too many bad thoughts up there