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TDS Eating Disorders Megathread

DRAIGAN I'm so sorry dude i didn't even see your reply before mine, only the one after so I didn't really get it hahah. trust me i'm not defending it I know my eating pattern is fucked up, but by can't eat even though i'm hungry i mean physically. i would puke and start to sweat/shiver, not be able to breathe etc. it was literally impossible for me to get shit down cause i have a stomach problem

i've eaten sooo much more now since the hospital. took one of those stomach pills and i feel GREAT today. i'm sure the shot played into it too. i woke up really hungry but not in pain. and that was incredible!! lol. i know those protein shakes had to have done something even though i didn't feel it, so thanks.

it is much easier to eat last night and today, even though i still fill up really quick, so i will be taking advantage of that since every single one of my vertebrae stick out through my shirt still. even the dr noticed. he was literally feeling in between my ribs

thank you guys for the support though and i will definitely let you know how it goes. 2 months ago i'd have been terrified of going on any depressant cause of the weight gain risk but now i can't wait for next week to get here any sooner

i seem to react really well to antihistamines.. dramamine & promethazine my body responded really well to
 
whenever i am on speed its like my stomach and i are at war..
my stomach is screaming FEEEED MEEEEEEE
but im jsut like nooooo fool theres shit i gotta doo

but one of my biggest secrets is having snack food on standby like pudding, yogurt, bananas, granola bars (make sure its a variety of foods and textures). i'll also force myself to eat whatever my mom made for dinner (usually i take a huge bite, chow for 2 minutes, then wash it down my throat with pepsi) as long as you are squeezing food through that invisible barrier in your throat u should be ok

also start buying creatine so you can build your muscles back

im 5"5 and weigh 120 (so i shouldnt be messing with uppers to begin with) but my little secrets are what keeps me "SOMEWHAT" healthy during the process

i kno it doesnt really have to do with ED but i figured id share my expeirence with you
 
thanks demize i appreciate it! I do try to do that also.. eat a bunch of shit that is good for my body through out the day, oatmeal is a savior. what's creatine? i'm pretty soft looking all around and do wish i had a little more definition back in my arms. when I was taking the shit I made SURE to do sit ups/squats etc

i got back from the hospital again though last night, was going to stay overnight but was lied to repeatedly. so i signed release papers and left. i do have this acid reflux disease hardcore, the stomach pills work great for that. i still have not eaten really since posting this. don't go to the bathroom or feel the need to, still don't feel hungry. it will be better in time though I hope. i should turn this into something good and be grateful it will go away eventually

Word draigan im right there with her... yesterday when i tried to eat i had to get another injection of fluids cause i was so sick feeling. having things prepared already really has helped me, i could never decide on the spot what to eat, ever.
 
fibromyalgia... i'm gunna look into that

i got tested for diabetes, anemia, thyroid, inflammation (maybe thats fibromyalgia related?) the last two results i won't find out til later today but the rest were null
 
My girlfriend of 1 year suffered from extreme anorexia and i have witnessed how intense this disease is. She suffered a heart attack at age 16 from this.
After getting sober from meth at 18 we confronted the anorexia together.

Of course this is a long process but in my experience what has worked is slowly building up your comfort levels with food.
I assume you have a psychosis that makes eating a miserable experience and i think the way to handle this is by starting to consume more amounts of food with low calories and fat. Apples, yogurt, salads. The more you become comfortable eating larger amounts of food the easier it becomes to start trying foods outside your comfort range suchas bagels, toast, small amounts of pasta.

You need to remember this is a long process to recovery and you need to ease into it. When i started working with my girlfriend she wouldnt eat anything without throwing it up, unless it was less than 100 calories. Now she eats pizza, pasta, burritos. This took months to work up to but its definately possible.

Weed most certainly will be essential to your recovery if your a smoker so try and smoke weed and eat lots of light meals throughout the day (if possible).

The more you try and eat the easier it gets and eventually you will become more comfortable with this.

This may seem kinda random but i know it works, in helping my girlfriend with this shes gained 20 pounds and is much happier even though she still lives with the mindset of an anorexic.
If you sent me a PM im sure she would be willing to tell you some things that helped her.
i say this because it was honestly an unbelievbale recovery and i feel she could help anyone in the spot.

I hope all is well i know this is a gnarly problem to have
 
sam123 said:
My girlfriend of 1 year suffered from extreme anorexia and i have witnessed how intense this disease is. She suffered a heart attack at age 16 from this.
After getting sober from meth at 18 we confronted the anorexia together.

Of course this is a long process but in my experience what has worked is slowly building up your comfort levels with food.
I assume you have a psychosis that makes eating a miserable experience and i think the way to handle this is by starting to consume more amounts of food with low calories and fat. Apples, yogurt, salads. The more you become comfortable eating larger amounts of food the easier it becomes to start trying foods outside your comfort range suchas bagels, toast, small amounts of pasta.

You need to remember this is a long process to recovery and you need to ease into it. When i started working with my girlfriend she wouldnt eat anything without throwing it up, unless it was less than 100 calories. Now she eats pizza, pasta, burritos. This took months to work up to but its definately possible.

Weed most certainly will be essential to your recovery if your a smoker so try and smoke weed and eat lots of light meals throughout the day (if possible).

The more you try and eat the easier it gets and eventually you will become more comfortable with this.

This may seem kinda random but i know it works, in helping my girlfriend with this shes gained 20 pounds and is much happier even though she still lives with the mindset of an anorexic.
If you sent me a PM im sure she would be willing to tell you some things that helped her.
i say this because it was honestly an unbelievbale recovery and i feel she could help anyone in the spot.

I hope all is well i know this is a gnarly problem to have
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thanks but.. i have stomach problems at this point that make it physically hard to eat. believe me. i want to eat mcdonalds right now. but even eating too many saltine crackers made me feel like shit today

i am glad your girlfriend overcame that, anorexia is a serious thing, especially to recover from it
 
missed that was in class trying to pay attention and read this thread.
anyways good luck
 
sam, just wanted to say thank you for your input in this thread, even though molly's situation is a bit different. But congrats to you and your girlfriend for overcoming the worst of her anorexia. It's a really tough disease to overcome but it's so worth it in the end. I wish you and her all the best <3
 
You will never see me recommend what I'm about to type up in any other thread, ever. I never suggest that someone use a drug to cope with any kind of problem in any way but I genuinely feel that the following could indeed help you with your particular problem.

I think you should try smoking some marijuana, or eating it in brownies or something if you don't like smoking. It increases your appetite tenfold and makes everything taste so good. I know you said you don't do drugs, but it's worth a shot at this point if you feel like you have nothing to lose. Just be careful about the potency and amount, take it slow at first, etc.
 
molly897 said:
thanks but.. i have stomach problems at this point that make it physically hard to eat. believe me. i want to eat mcdonalds right now. but even eating too many saltine crackers made me feel like shit today

i am glad your girlfriend overcame that, anorexia is a serious thing, especially to recover from it
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Get yourself to a doctor, girl! Perhaps you can get on some Phenagrin or something similar so you can stomach your food.
 
haha... i've been taking prilosec morning and night and i feel heaps better. i can actually eat shit. if i don't take it even water makes me barf tho

thanks for all the advice again. buds still not makin me hungry just makin me feel less shitty of course
 
Can someone please briefly explain how serious or what causes someone to eat far more than what is necessary? My girlfrind for a little over 3 years has developed binge eating disorder to to the point where seeing a candybar is like a crackhead seeing a rock the size of golf ball. Eating well over 3500-4000 calories a day she has gone from 130lbs to 185 in just 7-8 months. I have previously been addicted to opiates, benzos, and alcohol for 18 months before our relationship. So I know full well what serious addiction is. But I still dont understand how food could be harder to give up than those.

I have given her every kind of emotional and physical support I can think of. Everything I can imagine to help her self esteem and not criticizing her or making her feel unattractive. Subtly having her come to the gym with me, buying more healthy food, doing everything I can that doesnt hurt her feelings. But still she continues to eat nearly twice the ammount of food I do in one day. We talked about it a few times and she explained that food makes her feel happy and takes away any depressed feelings even though she eats when in a good mood. I provide her with everything she could ask of me and more but her problem is ruining our relationship.

Not being at all physically attracted to the most important person in my life and being embarrased to call her my girlfriend has really taken a toll on my mental health and is affecting my self esteem now as well. She loves me more than I knew was possible and thinks I'm the perfect boyfriend (which I dont believe I am). But this one thing that I am starting to find out isn't so simple is ruining both of us. It has gotten to the point where I have resumed my morphine addiction recently from years ago to supress/conceal my unhappiness of having my girlfriend weigh 30-35lbs more than myself and my longing for the once attractive women I used to be with.

Is there anyone out there who has insight or experience with binge eating that could give me tips on how to help her? Or am I just being a superficial asshole who should learn to get passed my feelings of unattractiveness toward her? It's destroying our relationship and now making both of us depressed.
 
i have this to a certain degree. i started binging and purging when i was 18. i relate it to the same area of my brain that makes me an addict. and it is one of the reasons i really, really miss being on opiates on all the time. at times, if i don't have any drugs, i just need to binge on food. the taste and the act of eating is like a drug. it distracts me from life. i stopped doing this for the most part, but if i am in a stressful situation i can't get out of, chances are i will binge and purge at some point. lately i have been broke and depressed and binge eating but not purging. i am probably around 135 now and i prefer to be around 125 (i'm 5'7"). i've been too depressed/around too many people to purge. last time was probably a month or two ago.

my advice to you is not to compare her eating disorder to your substance addictions. that isn't fair. both are real problems.

as far as her getting fat...well, if you want to break up with her, do it. but if you want to help her instead, be prepared to be supportive and be involved with her therapy, etc. is she even trying to get better?
 
I have just started reading the book In the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts. It is an excellent book about addiction but the reason I mention it is because I think that there is certainly a common thread underlying compulsive eating (or any other compulsive behavior) and substance addiction. The quote in the front of the book says it very well:

"What is addiction, really? It is a sign, a signal, a symptom of distress. It is a language that tells us about a plight that must be understood."

Is your girlfriend in any kind of therapy that could help her understand what underlies her need to comfort herself in this way? How about you? Going back to a serious addiction to morphine because of your unhappiness over this is an indication that you are still vulnerable yourself. I hope that you both can recognize that addressing what underlies addictive and compulsive behavior is the only way out. It sounds like you truly have love for each other and care about each other very much. Have you thought of counseling for yourself?
 
Good point, I do see how both addictions are similar. I used to use my opiate addiction as a crutch. Just the thing I dont understand is how how she can over eat (not binging I guess) regardless of how her life is doing. She is nearly done with college and recently got the job she always wanted, but still persists to eat far more than the average person should or could even though things are going great for her. My father has the same thing and is going to kill himself in 5 years or less from type II diabetes. I just cant comprehend how something so simple could be so rewarding even though it cause immediate and long term consequences.

I never let my drug addictions get serious enough to seriously affect my health, relationships, family or friends.
 
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I don't understand binge eating either. My housemate definitely binge eats, and is in complete denial about it. If someone makes brownies or cookies, he will eat the ENTIRE batch in one night. He goes through a half gallon of ice cream in two days, eats no fresh vegetables, eats tons of pasta and white bread. He has been complaining about his "man boobs" for a while, and last night when he complained again I told him he shouldn't binge eat so much. Instant anger and denial: "I don't binge eat!"

People don't like being called out on their shit, but my remark to him saved the batch of cookies I made last night. They are still in the cookie jar this morning!

I dunno what advice to give you. Maybe you need to be completely blunt and tell her you just are not attracted to her now, especially when she is continuing to stuff her face at the degree she is doing. But being blunt may not be received very kindly.
 
munki said:
I don't understand binge eating either. My housemate definitely binge eats, and is in complete denial about it. If someone makes brownies or cookies, he will eat the ENTIRE batch in one night. He goes through a half gallon of ice cream in two days, eats no fresh vegetables, eats tons of pasta and white bread. He has been complaining about his "man boobs" for a while, and last night when he complained again I told him he shouldn't binge eat so much. Instant anger and denial: "I don't binge eat!"

People don't like being called out on their shit, but my remark to him saved the batch of cookies I made last night. They are still in the cookie jar this morning!

I dunno what advice to give you. Maybe you need to be completely blunt and tell her you just are not attracted to her now, especially when she is continuing to stuff her face at the degree she is doing. But being blunt may not be received very kindly.
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As someone who works within this area (Therapist) I'd suggest that you don't do this - Just like you once used opiates as a crutch, she is now using food as her own crutch. A person doesn't have to be obviously depressed to be in a state of turmoil. Day to day anxieties can be enough to cause such inner chaos that we give in to our desires.

Calling someone 'out' on this doesn't help, it makes it worse, it's very much a dissonant reaction. To understand it, you have to understand the cycle of shame. E.g ; You mention that she is overweight, her reaction will be to feel ashamed and to quell the torrent of emotions she eats more food to try and stop it then continues to feel ashamed. (Just to add, shame is what causes cyclical reactions, it is separate from guilt)
 
Hi, 51fifty. I've struggled with food in various ways over the years, and I'll try to give what perspective I can. You say you don't understand how food could be harder to give up than opiates, benzos, or alcohol. I first thought about this issue when I was about sixteen years old. I wrote in my journal that there is no "cold turkey" for food. You can't just turn back on your it and give it up. I'd add now that food is in your face wherever you go and whatever you do. You can't give up your food-using friends or stay away from neighborhoods where you used to use food.

Aside from that, I'd say that part of what I hear in your post is that you don't understand how food can be as compelling as drugs. For you, it isn't. For some people, it is. We're all wired differently. Alcohol doesn't work for me (and, yes, I'm grateful for that). I've been prescribed a low dose of benzos for a long time and (so far, knock wood) have no interest in increasing that dose. Food is another story.

I would also add that sometimes eating problems are as much about changing one's body, or expressing feelings about the body, as about the experience of consuming food. Sometimes people don't feel comfortable being perceived as attractive, or feeling sexy, or even feeling sexual desire. Sometimes people who hate themselves or their bodies commit a kind of quiet slow assault on their physical selves by the way they eat. Sometimes it's a way of pushing others away, or gaining a kind of safe distance. Sometimes it's a way of saying, maybe without knowing it, "You only care about me because I'm sexy to you. If I weren't thin, you wouldn't love me anymore."

I don't know what's going on for your girlfriend. There are so many reasons why people use food in destructive ways, just as there are so many reasons why people use drugs, spend money compulsively, and so on. Sometimes it's a behavior that shows up and passes away, and sometimes it's part of a very long struggle.

I know that dealing with her problems is very hard and distressing for someone who loves her, and I'm sorry. Based on the little information I have, I would advise you not to focus on trying to change her eating behavior. It's unlikely to work. I'd advise you to focus on your own bottom line. What is acceptable to you in a relationship, and what can you just not deal with? Can you love her as the person she is now? Can you talk to her more honestly about how you feel and how her behavior affects you? You don't want to hurt her, I know, but it's pretty clear that she already knows you're not happy. If the two of you can talk seriously about the impact of her changed behavior on the relationship, maybe you can improve the situation. Maybe you can find out more about why things are happening as they are.

I don't have a lot of great advice, I guess. I'd just repeat that "changing someone" is remarkably difficult and usually unsuccessful. If you're open with someone about how her behavior affects you, and the person continues that behavior, you then have to make decisions based on what you can and can't live with.

I wish the best to both you and your girlfriend, and hope that things become less painful for you both.
 
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