I apologize.Memphis for my harsh reaction. I consider you a friend,worry about your well being,and ALWAYS post when you are on-and specifically to you.sometimes you never reply to me and I let it go.However,I have made no secret of my feelings of inadequacy here on Bluelight because I am not computer savvy and am quite embarrassed about the fact that someone of my intellect can not get how to post things in a certain way.I have been more than vocal about feeling the generation gap and feeling like an old woman compared to my own assessment of the average Bluelighter's age. Today i felt like you have never paid attention to any of those very sincere admissions of plain old embarrassment.It has just been an issue that continues to come up despite my shame filled apologies over this EVERY TIME I share a song with a community I care about enough to share it with them.Then I could see all of your tl;dr in response to my habit of long posts.I felt invisible to you and you are not invisible to me.I guess I expected you to treat me the way I treat my friends here by hearing them when they express certain things that they have very low self esteem about.
I agree with you...what is so hard about getting a format right???and the answer is I do not know.All I know is that I have made that statement about myself enough that having you reiterate it hit an embarrassing,familiar nerve. I am human. Further more I am woman.I have ovaries and a uterus and a severe disorder that effects them.I even posted a very revealing post about it earlier today.don't worry...i won't post the link bc it is way too long for you to read.How you are is part of your charm,today I just felt like I was less cared about by you than the other way around.That is my problem-not yours.An I am very sorry for calling you names.I get no joy from being a bitch-posting what I feel in an instant rather than being the grown woman I am and thinking it through before I act.I hope you accept my apology,and I DID try and keep this as short as possible.Last thing,I chose to post this publicly bc I believe in leading by example and our OCD family needs to know that I can and will admit when I am wrong and do my very best to make amends.I hope that the way you all see me has NOT changed bc the support and love I receive in this thread gets me through much unspoken and buried pain.I am going to stop now so that you will take the time and read an already lengthy post.I am sorry...and I love you,Brah.
Always.........skillz
