The best conventional AD that i tried was Buproprion back when I thought my problem was depression, but then I discovered I was actually bipolar after going through a couple of really scary manic and mixed states. Now I take a cocktail of dextroamphetamine, lamotrigine, and clonazepam, sometimes with some alprazolam thrown in as well. It is a little rough around the edges but works better than anything else. I still havent mastered getting enough quality sleep whilst being pulled in opposite directions by the uppers & downers but I am far more functional on this combo than on anything else with the possible exception of when I was on suboxone, which was a pretty damn decent thymoleptic and antidepressent in itself. I am pondering going back on the orange stuff actually, which would entail probably getting strung out on the brown stuff first ... interesting the hoops you have to go through in this system, isnt it?
Lol I was on dextro and klonipin a few years ago after heave hydro oxy pod habit. Worked absolute wonders from getting my cravings away from the opiates. (but shit how hard can it be when your high as hell on amps right). I think i had a similar case as you and found out i was bi polar after having serious manic and psychotic episodes from the mix of benzo and amp. Its stated in the dextro pamphlet its like called amphetamine psychosis from the doctor prescribed amount. Meaning I never abused it, hell i didnt even take it everyday. I completely stopped after my ex gf told me of a lady she knew who had a simlar thing but had to be hospilitized and it affected her kidneys or some shit, this was vyvanse though.
It completely ruined my life, addiction to benzos and amps is the scariest thing in the world. I couldnt leave the house without one or another. I became socially reclusive and very suicidal. I also lost all my friends and caused a lot of harm in familys house. The worst part was i always had really good dank and i couldnt even smoke it because the amps it would make me feel soooooo horrible, but im such a pothead so i would keep smoking every day anyways.
Sometimes you gotta learn the hard way, I know exactly what drugs will send me into a manic state and what wont. Some are worse than others. the worst for me being opiates, amps, especially meth one single meth session will send me into a furious psychotic and manic state. (makes sense tho since im completely hypomanic the whole time high on it. Next comes benzos if im not careful and then mdma but mdma is not nearly as bad as any of the others i have to really binge on pressed pills, molly doesnt affect me that way though.
Pcp is probably the most emotional drug i have ever put into my system so i have to stay away from that. If you think mushrooms are emotional heh, Pcp makes that look like a jolly walk in a park, and pcp last for like 2-3 days. I have awaken from smoking pcp 2 days later and put on the yellow submarine and ended up crying at how beautiful it was out of shear joy.
Surprisingly dxm and and psychedelics dont do this to me at all. This summer when I completely got off the amps and then didnt need the benzos as much i havent had one single manic episode. Its crazy too, a lot of yall will think this is crazy but I dosed pretty much 50% of the whole summer, many times days and days in a row. When i didnt dose L I was taking dxm, and many of the times i was taking them together.
Now get this you would think my anxiety would insane and my brain all fucked from the dxm but ive seriously been very social and not nearly as depressed as say from opiates.
The only thing i still have anxiety from is suboxone. After i did get off the hydros and pods I was still taking suboxone everyday along with my vyvanse. Let me tell you suboxone is one hell of an opiate, i actually like it a lot. 1/16 of a pill snorted can get me high all day long with no tolerance.
That was a few months ago and ive been taking the loperamide which works wonders for paws from opiates. And the depression and anxiety is so mild its not that big of a deal.
Back in the day when a friend and i first started taking shrooms and dosing a lot and we were rolling all the time too. We decided to take 7 grams of hydro shrooms and i had a horrible trip. Took me years to recover and we both blamed it all on the mdma and psychs.
BUT we were taking xanax and opiates and adderal and drinking every day and shit too and thought those were doing nothing to our depression and anxiety. Well looking back now we were all addicted to xanax (just never saw it that way) and it was the benzos/alcohol/ amps/ cocaine that were driving us insane and suicidal. I actually tried to kills myself in the middle of a hydro benzo wd.
So sometimes you gotta listen to your body. I used to just take drugs and sit around and be kind of like nearjat when i was your age (please dont take any offense to this) just always wondering what im sad and why i dont have a gf and why i cant just go up and talk to people.
Its easy to listen to general society who will mostly always say alcohol is much safer than psychs but you gotta find out what affects you best, and if something makes you go manic or depressed you shouldnt be taking it. Im not diagnosed bi polar but i may have a small form of it, but its pretty much nonexistent unless im doing a bunch of drugs.
Sorry this is so long, jeez I feel like Xorkoth
