HelplessMan
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2010
- Messages
- 4
This story is very strange and very unlikely, I know, but it's unlikelihood is what got me so interested, and is why I need to share it. Please read it all, and please don't just label this as garbage because of what happened.
I have experienced various amphetamine addictions, as well as abused dissociative drugs and psychedelics heavily. I have extremely severe HPPD, as well as numerous complications. I am currently clean, and at the end of it all there's one pressing concern that stands out above everything else: my lack of ability to overdose.
For example, on one occasion a friend said he had a large supply of pills on him and asked if I wanted to do some. I said sure, and when we got to my house he told me what it was: Seroquel. He had 4 grams weight in pills, and pulled out a bag with many, many pills of the drug in it. It looked more like 7 grams to me, but I knew he had actually weighed them. At the time I didn't know what it was, nor cared. Over the course of the next 8 hours, the pile was gone except for a few bumps which I had saved. I continuously fell to the floor and had severe muscle spasms, but I didn't think much of it. In fact I thought it was kind of fun at the time for some reason. My friend had maybe four or five lines, and I took the rest. The next day yielded shotglasses of blood at a time pouring out of my nose and mouth. I could feel thousands of cuts throughout my throat, nose and sinuses, and was freaking out, as anyone would do. I decided to rail the last of what I had to calm down, and it worked. I had school that day and knew I couldn't go like this, but I assumed my family would tell me a nosebleed isn't a good reason to stay home, so I persevered through the morning, but needed to stay home for the rest of the day because it was just too much.
A few months pass, and I decide to learn a bit about Seroquel. The consensus from my friends was that I had overdosed that night, and it made sense. I went online, and then I found this:
"don't use seroquel trust me. I took 20 of the 100mg(?) pills and my heart started going so fast it was the most awful painful thing in the world. I ended up freaking out from the explosive heart racing and drop in blood pressure and next thing I knew I was in the hospital drinking charcoal and having my stomach pumped. seroquel is hard to od on. u either end up in a coma with brain damage or suffer in agonizing pain. I'm stil searching for a better way..."
How the fuck am I alive? Why didn't I go to a hospital? Why COULDN'T I pass out during the trip? I know I can still feel heavy after-effects, but why no OD? These questions were emphasized by my age and weight. Not only had I only weighed 140 lbs, but I was 13 at the time! I had the appearance of a 16-19 year old being 6 foot 2 at the time, but that doesn't change my actual age! Why the fuck am I still breathing!? It's COMPLETELY impossible, I know, but that doesn't change that I'm still among the living. Would anyone believe I had actually done it? Should I see a doctor? I don't know, but all that matters is I'm alive. Still, WTF????
There are multiple, and yes, REPEATED instances of this that I attempted, somehow successfully. Why did I try? I was young and naive, yes, but the one thing I knew is that this wasn't just completely blind luck. I'll only post one in very minor detail, because it's so farfetched I refuse to believe any of you will say anything other than bullshit, but here it is anyway.
At the end of my drug frenzy (entirely residing somehow inside of age 13 for some very strange, very very unlucky reason) I decided I'd put my overdose cheating to a fully understandable test: 1500-2000mg of Benedryl. Every day. For a week. I could quit a few days in for whatever reason, but the only rule was I wasn't allowed to die or be hospitalized. Impossible? As far as I could tell, absolutely, so it would be fairly conclusive. The result was many spasms, hallucinating, and an intervention on day 3, in which I consumed my entire Benedryl stash for the week all at once before my parents could get they're hands on it before showing up. It was bad, but I didn't go to a hospital, and I didn't die. Sadly, that coupled with my many amphetamine addictions (4) resulted in extreme HPPD ever since, not that I didn't have fairly severe HPPD before that, but the Benedryl pushed it deep into the realm of ridiculousness.
Why am I posting this? Why do I expect a single person on this entire forum to believe this is true? Why don't I just keep it to myself and not attempt to make people believe the impossible? Because, I'm just looking for an answer: How???? How the fuck am I alive, how the fuck have I still never seen the inside of a hospital, how the fuck have I never to this day experienced a real OD? HOW????
Please, if any of you know, just how could something like this be possible, please tell me! I know a lot of you are going to call bullshit based off of the same numbers I used, and for good reason: IT SHOULD NOT BE HUMANLY POSSIBLE, but in my case apparently not. I am mildly autistic, have never been prescribed any medication at any time for any reason what so ever, have an amazing diet and get good exercise daily. (For that time)
Please, does anyone know why an overdose just wouldn't happen on multiple, unrelated substances? Is there a possible explanation? Will a single one of you have an answer? I don't know, but what I do know is that if there's a chance of getting an answer, I'll risk getting bitched at by people on the internet. C'mon people, help me out!
I have experienced various amphetamine addictions, as well as abused dissociative drugs and psychedelics heavily. I have extremely severe HPPD, as well as numerous complications. I am currently clean, and at the end of it all there's one pressing concern that stands out above everything else: my lack of ability to overdose.
For example, on one occasion a friend said he had a large supply of pills on him and asked if I wanted to do some. I said sure, and when we got to my house he told me what it was: Seroquel. He had 4 grams weight in pills, and pulled out a bag with many, many pills of the drug in it. It looked more like 7 grams to me, but I knew he had actually weighed them. At the time I didn't know what it was, nor cared. Over the course of the next 8 hours, the pile was gone except for a few bumps which I had saved. I continuously fell to the floor and had severe muscle spasms, but I didn't think much of it. In fact I thought it was kind of fun at the time for some reason. My friend had maybe four or five lines, and I took the rest. The next day yielded shotglasses of blood at a time pouring out of my nose and mouth. I could feel thousands of cuts throughout my throat, nose and sinuses, and was freaking out, as anyone would do. I decided to rail the last of what I had to calm down, and it worked. I had school that day and knew I couldn't go like this, but I assumed my family would tell me a nosebleed isn't a good reason to stay home, so I persevered through the morning, but needed to stay home for the rest of the day because it was just too much.
A few months pass, and I decide to learn a bit about Seroquel. The consensus from my friends was that I had overdosed that night, and it made sense. I went online, and then I found this:
"don't use seroquel trust me. I took 20 of the 100mg(?) pills and my heart started going so fast it was the most awful painful thing in the world. I ended up freaking out from the explosive heart racing and drop in blood pressure and next thing I knew I was in the hospital drinking charcoal and having my stomach pumped. seroquel is hard to od on. u either end up in a coma with brain damage or suffer in agonizing pain. I'm stil searching for a better way..."
How the fuck am I alive? Why didn't I go to a hospital? Why COULDN'T I pass out during the trip? I know I can still feel heavy after-effects, but why no OD? These questions were emphasized by my age and weight. Not only had I only weighed 140 lbs, but I was 13 at the time! I had the appearance of a 16-19 year old being 6 foot 2 at the time, but that doesn't change my actual age! Why the fuck am I still breathing!? It's COMPLETELY impossible, I know, but that doesn't change that I'm still among the living. Would anyone believe I had actually done it? Should I see a doctor? I don't know, but all that matters is I'm alive. Still, WTF????
There are multiple, and yes, REPEATED instances of this that I attempted, somehow successfully. Why did I try? I was young and naive, yes, but the one thing I knew is that this wasn't just completely blind luck. I'll only post one in very minor detail, because it's so farfetched I refuse to believe any of you will say anything other than bullshit, but here it is anyway.
At the end of my drug frenzy (entirely residing somehow inside of age 13 for some very strange, very very unlucky reason) I decided I'd put my overdose cheating to a fully understandable test: 1500-2000mg of Benedryl. Every day. For a week. I could quit a few days in for whatever reason, but the only rule was I wasn't allowed to die or be hospitalized. Impossible? As far as I could tell, absolutely, so it would be fairly conclusive. The result was many spasms, hallucinating, and an intervention on day 3, in which I consumed my entire Benedryl stash for the week all at once before my parents could get they're hands on it before showing up. It was bad, but I didn't go to a hospital, and I didn't die. Sadly, that coupled with my many amphetamine addictions (4) resulted in extreme HPPD ever since, not that I didn't have fairly severe HPPD before that, but the Benedryl pushed it deep into the realm of ridiculousness.
Why am I posting this? Why do I expect a single person on this entire forum to believe this is true? Why don't I just keep it to myself and not attempt to make people believe the impossible? Because, I'm just looking for an answer: How???? How the fuck am I alive, how the fuck have I still never seen the inside of a hospital, how the fuck have I never to this day experienced a real OD? HOW????
Please, if any of you know, just how could something like this be possible, please tell me! I know a lot of you are going to call bullshit based off of the same numbers I used, and for good reason: IT SHOULD NOT BE HUMANLY POSSIBLE, but in my case apparently not. I am mildly autistic, have never been prescribed any medication at any time for any reason what so ever, have an amazing diet and get good exercise daily. (For that time)
Please, does anyone know why an overdose just wouldn't happen on multiple, unrelated substances? Is there a possible explanation? Will a single one of you have an answer? I don't know, but what I do know is that if there's a chance of getting an answer, I'll risk getting bitched at by people on the internet. C'mon people, help me out!
