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Relapsed..

R

resiN-

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 31, 2010
Messages
20
Location
Simi Valley, CALI
SWIM has been locked up for 5 months n just got out about 3 weeks ago.
He gained the trust of his parents back, got his girl back , got his life back.
But now, hes relapsed on heroin and oxies and is slowly losing everything.
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK

SWIM doesnt know what the fuck to do.
Shit maybe hes just one of those people that cant be helped..
:(
 
I've been there man, only I wasn't in jail. I was put into rehab for a couple months after getting caught, losing my girlfriend of 3 years, kicked out of school and losing family trust.

Came out of rehab, started up at another school, got the girlfriend of 3 years back, regained family trust, everything. 9 months into sobriety everything was going well for me, so I decided to fuck it all up again and starting shooting dope. Again.

Got caught by my girlfriend almost in the act during my relapse. Needless to say, it was permanently over between us after that. Everything went to hell and I had to start all over. Again (didn't get kicked out of school that time though which was a major plus). What that experience taught me though was invaluable, and it was definitely the lowest I have ever felt in my entire life. I never thought I'd get over losing that girl. Never.

Been almost a year and 6 months now since I've used. Fell in love with another girl and have been with her for just over a year now. Set to graduate school next summer with a BFA in photography. Family trusts me again and I don't feel shunned when I see them.

Basically I'm telling you all this to let you know that you can be helped, and your time will come to be free of all of this when you really, truly want it to. You relapsed, that's okay, learn from it and stop if you have the will power to do so. Ask for help if you need to. Getting caught again (like I did) will be a million times worse than admitting you made a mistake, TRUST ME. You're human, humans make mistakes. It's the ones who are honest about them that are most likely to be forgiven.

I wish you the best of luck man, I really do. I know your pain. No one is beyond help, you just have to try harder than you've ever tried before, even if it means owning up to your relapse and reaching out for help. If she was meant to be, she'll still be there. If not, you'll move on. Believe me, you will. But do it now before it's too late, ending up getting caught by the law again (or worse) is the last thing you want.
 
Last edited:
Sorry to hear about this. Just remember that no matter what you are taught in rehab, having "just one" doesn't automatically mean you have to have a full relapse. You can make the choice to stop once again, even if it's a difficult choice. The substance you are using does not have a magical grip over you - every choice is your own and the decision to stop again is fully within your power.
 
how much have you been using? if its only been three weeks maybe you can still stop now without withdrawal being too bad..
 
resiN- said:
SWIM has been locked up for 5 months n just got out about 3 weeks ago.
He gained the trust of his parents back, got his girl back , got his life back.
But now, hes relapsed on heroin and oxies and is slowly losing everything.
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK

SWIM doesnt know what the fuck to do.
Shit maybe hes just one of those people that cant be helped..
:(
Click to expand...

comeon man u just did 5 months n uve bin out 4 3 weeks u still have a chance to change today ur w/d will be minimum and wont last long so just quit while ur ahead theres nuthing wrong with relapse they always say relapse is the way to recovery so just put this shit behind u n get back on the waggon best of luck man
 
resiN- said:
SWIM has been locked up for 5 months n just got out about 3 weeks ago.
He gained the trust of his parents back, got his girl back , got his life back.
But now, hes relapsed on heroin and oxies and is slowly losing everything.
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK

SWIM doesn't know what the fuck to do.
Shit maybe hes just one of those people that cant be helped..
:(
Click to expand...

Maybe the first thing "SWIM" needs to do is admit that he has a problem. Start by saying "I, (insert your name) am an addict. Go to meetings. Quit pretending you aren't you. YOU are an addict.

BTW, is SWIM someone who IS me or someone who is NOT me? That is the silliest thing I have ever read and the forum where everyone says that is one I won't read anymore.

If you can't own up to your problems you can't solve them! Tell you family and girlfriend you fucked up and beg them to help you clean up again.
 
I've been on that train before too, man.

I have gotten clean and gotten trust back only to relapse many times. It really sucks. The best thing to do though is to get back on the sobriety train.

Are you doing *anything* to help your recovery? Cause it really is true...if you get complacent, you get bored, and then you use. As addicts, using is what we know, so it's what we revert back to when we don't have anything else to do or any other way to cope with negative feelings.

Can you go to meetings? Can you see a therapist? See a psychiatrist? Get into an outpatient program? Actually, I would really recommend an outpatient program or meetings since you probably didn't get any treatment in jail and were just dry, not really invested in a recovery program. Do you have insurance that would pay for it? Are you on probation? If so, your probation officer might be able to get you in a program that your state will pay for.
 
I don't see any pools here? who's swimming here?

You need to get over it, and get your life back on track. If you are on parole or probation, you can go right back to jail (Hopefully you do not have this though).

But, this lifestyle that you are choosing to be in will either land you right back into the locker, or into a coffin. Be careful homie.
 
Help me please said:
Maybe the first thing "SWIM" needs to do is admit that he has a problem. Start by saying "I, (insert your name) am an addict. Go to meetings. Quit pretending you aren't you. YOU are an addict.

BTW, is SWIM someone who IS me or someone who is NOT me? That is the silliest thing I have ever read and the forum where everyone says that is one I won't read anymore.

If you can't own up to your problems you can't solve them! Tell you family and girlfriend you fucked up and beg them to help you clean up again.
Click to expand...


i KNOW i have a problem thats not what im trying to say
i told myself that i would never go back n i only lasted a couple weeks
 
xxkcxx said:
Are you doing *anything* to help your recovery? Cause it really is true...if you get complacent, you get bored, and then you use. As addicts, using is what we know, so it's what we revert back to when we don't have anything else to do or any other way to cope with negative feelings.

Can you go to meetings? Can you see a therapist? See a psychiatrist? Get into an outpatient program? Actually, I would really recommend an outpatient program or meetings since you probably didn't get any treatment in jail and were just dry, not really invested in a recovery program. Do you have insurance that would pay for it? Are you on probation? If so, your probation officer might be able to get you in a program that your state will pay for.
Click to expand...

ive been in 3 different rehabs.. one outpatient and 2 inpatient.. the second time for 3 months
and yeah im going to meetings now as much as i can. the problem is i have to drop my friends which is hard cuz my friends are my family it seems like
they visited me in jail more then my actual family did
kind of a fucked situation i got myself into
 
Help me please said:
Maybe the first thing "SWIM" needs to do is admit that he has a problem. Start by saying "I, (insert your name) am an addict. Go to meetings. Quit pretending you aren't you. YOU are an addict.

BTW, is SWIM someone who IS me or someone who is NOT me? That is the silliest thing I have ever read and the forum where everyone says that is one I won't read anymore.

If you can't own up to your problems you can't solve them! Tell you family and girlfriend you fucked up and beg them to help you clean up again.
Click to expand...

I didn't realize that drug users had to grovel to have their sins forgiven. It is not up to you to tell somebody they must identify as an addict. Drug abuse is a behaviour, it doesn't have to turn into an identity. It is obvious the OP regrets his decision to use drugs he doesn't necessarily need 12-step self-flagellation
 
i think hemp is trying to say that when drug use begins to dictate ones thoughts and actions; admitting that drugs have become something that has taken control over ones life, and realizing it as true... is important.

many people get wrapped up in the life style, and rituals, they become vital parts of a users identity and normalcy after so long. admitting being powerless, stepping back and learning to avoid the doc - is a lot less troublesome and humbling then the next step from this state of being -
for all involved.
 
haha now that i think about it my friend brought some guy over that just got out of jail a couple weeks ago and callled to make sure nobodyd be getting high infront of him...thatd really be a trip. im 24 what part of town are you in?
 
eon_blue said:
I've been there man, only I wasn't in jail. I was put into rehab for a couple months after getting caught, losing my girlfriend of 3 years, kicked out of school and losing family trust.

Came out of rehab, started up at another school, got the girlfriend of 3 years back, regained family trust, everything. 9 months into sobriety everything was going well for me, so I decided to fuck it all up again and starting shooting dope. Again.

Got caught by my girlfriend almost in the act during my relapse. Needless to say, it was permanently over between us after that. Everything went to hell and I had to start all over. Again (didn't get kicked out of school that time though which was a major plus). What that experience taught me though was invaluable, and it was definitely the lowest I have ever felt in my entire life. I never thought I'd get over losing that girl. Never.

Been almost a year and 6 months now since I've used. Fell in love with another girl and have been with her for just over a year now. Set to graduate school next summer with a BFA in photography. Family trusts me again and I don't feel shunned when I see them.

Basically I'm telling you all this to let you know that you can be helped, and your time will come to be free of all of this when you really, truly want it to. You relapsed, that's okay, learn from it and stop if you have the will power to do so. Ask for help if you need to. Getting caught again (like I did) will be a million times worse than admitting you made a mistake, TRUST ME. You're human, humans make mistakes. It's the ones who are honest about them that are most likely to be forgiven.

I wish you the best of luck man, I really do. I know your pain. No one is beyond help, you just have to try harder than you've ever tried before, even if it means owning up to your relapse and reaching out for help. If she was meant to be, she'll still be there. If not, you'll move on. Believe me, you will. But do it now before it's too late, ending up getting caught by the law again (or worse) is the last thing you want.
Click to expand...

This is a great story. Thank you for sharing this. It made me realize that you can recover from being low and down in life. I'm sorry it happened to you, but the story really hit me and made me feel better about my personal issues right now.
 
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