Forgottenusername
Greenlighter
The past 3 months I have abusing opiates pretty heavily. You may have read some of my other posts. When I was 19 I had a great job and picked up a bad coke habit. That was the first time I developed a problem with addiction, and I thought it was the worst thing ever. Well 5 years later and I'm right back in the game, but with opiates. At first I thought it wasn't so bad. Coke made me feel fucking crazy and aggressive, but opiates I was always laid back and happy. Until I tried to stop at least. When I was strung out/trying to quit coke, I was a horrible prick and tried to take out my anger, and anxiety out on other people. With opiates it was the very opposite. I took it all out on myself.
The depression with coke was bad, but did not come nearly as close to opiates. Every morning I woke up and wanted to slit my wrist and go back to sleep, and hopefully never wake back up. The physical symptoms were a lot worse too, but I could still tolerate it. Days and days after the physical symptoms were gone, the depression lasted. I thought it would never end, and I was at the point of losing all hope.
Then today something happened. It was very unexpected. Red wine by UB40 came on the radio. It made me smile! So I went home and bought some red wine and hung out with some good friends. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!! For the first time in months I actually felt normal! I thought I would never crawl out of the hole. It happened, and I was ecstatic.
Never give up! It may seem unattainable and pointless but things WILL get better. Even though it has only been about 6 hours that I have felt somewhat normal, it feels sooooo good. I may wake up tomorrow and feel like a piece of shit again, but tonight was enough to restore all my hope.
Time is the best medicine. One happy song is all it took. I'm still somewhat new here, but I can definitely feel the love. I just wanted to share this with people and hopefully cheer someone up, like so many here have done for me. Bluelight helped me get through the worst of it. The brightside is there, you just have to never stop trying.
Like I said it has only been 6 hours of finally feeling normal, but sometimes thats all it takes. Believe me, life is beautiful, you just gotta see past the darkness!
The depression with coke was bad, but did not come nearly as close to opiates. Every morning I woke up and wanted to slit my wrist and go back to sleep, and hopefully never wake back up. The physical symptoms were a lot worse too, but I could still tolerate it. Days and days after the physical symptoms were gone, the depression lasted. I thought it would never end, and I was at the point of losing all hope.
Then today something happened. It was very unexpected. Red wine by UB40 came on the radio. It made me smile! So I went home and bought some red wine and hung out with some good friends. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!! For the first time in months I actually felt normal! I thought I would never crawl out of the hole. It happened, and I was ecstatic.
Never give up! It may seem unattainable and pointless but things WILL get better. Even though it has only been about 6 hours that I have felt somewhat normal, it feels sooooo good. I may wake up tomorrow and feel like a piece of shit again, but tonight was enough to restore all my hope.
Time is the best medicine. One happy song is all it took. I'm still somewhat new here, but I can definitely feel the love. I just wanted to share this with people and hopefully cheer someone up, like so many here have done for me. Bluelight helped me get through the worst of it. The brightside is there, you just have to never stop trying.
Like I said it has only been 6 hours of finally feeling normal, but sometimes thats all it takes. Believe me, life is beautiful, you just gotta see past the darkness!
As long as you give life your best shots as much as possible you will have made a difference. It is a good thing to live to tell your story and it is good to see you see the brighter side. That means you are half way there to getting your life back. Stay strong, it is really hard, but worth it.