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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

(MDMA)Not able to Take breaks..

fucking canada day. mdma was offered to me four times throughout the night by different people. the fourth time i was too drunk to refuse =/
 
i was just like you, rolling every weekend in hope to stop at one point but when the weekend comes and i rolls. after i just feel like shit until the weekend again. it's loop and you must stop one weekend by replacing the habit of using ecstasy with something else, like reading a book, go out exercising (i guess ontario is kinda shitty now), find something else to do at the usual time of your roll trip. good luck! i've been clean from mdma for a month now and i'm still getting the cravings agh :! :|
 
that was easily my worst roll as of yet. i was far too drunk/baked to even appreciate the effects of the mdma. in general, i was just quite fucked. i started off with 100 MG and railed another 50 mg twice throughout the night.

it reallys annoys me now though, knowing once again i didn't have the willpower to turn down something i know i didn't need..
 
mdma will burn you out very quickly, after a year or so i doubt you will even be able to get any joy from it, i dunno why thats the case, thats how it was with me when i was a young man. And its a shame, great chemical it is
 
so i managed to snap myself into shape and wait. it's been almost two months, and i'm wondering if you all think it's been long enough for me to take it once again?
 
If you were taking it as often as you said, I'd say wait for as long as you can. The acute recovery (i.e neurotransmitter regeneration) was done a while ago, since you've had problems controlling your use in the past I'd counsel waiting a while longer. Personally, I rarely dose more often than once every year or two.
 
The same inability to make myself wait X amount of time before taking MDMA again was the first few steps into regular drug abuse that I took. 2 years down the line I've abused almost every party drug around and have serious depression and anxiety as a result. I've also lost a large circle of friends, lost my job and spent every cent I earned over the 2 years.

I guess, the point I'm trying to make is. If you don't force yourself to wait then you'll just keep doing it because the opportunity will always be there. And to use mdma, or any other drug really, with regularity will eventually start taking a toll on you and your life.
 
I would suggest waiting longer, optimally until you are no longer thinking about doing MDMA all the time. Your relationship to the substance needs to change if you want to avoid problems - if you stop for 2 months and begin using it the way you were before then you have not accomplished anything.

So what has changed? Do you know how to say no? Have you found other activities to enjoy without drugs? What will make this time different?

It can be a beautiful experience if used appropriately, but the side effects of overdoing it with MDMA are significant.
 
I watched my friends get burned out hard on MDMA back in high school .. I learned from them, always spaced my pills initially, never more than once a month.
Later, OxyContin/adderoll got me accustomed to pharmaceutical, daily-use applications with no ill effects, a dangerous difference between different classes of chemicals.

Pretty easy to learn the lesson the hard way. your brain will hate on you so hard that you won't forget the lesson for a long while. Unless you [hypothetical] happen to be a complete idiot burnout, with reckless disregard for your numbered brain-cells ... we all have those friends :\
One Winter I felt like I'd shaken every last particle out of my brain after consuming too many E pills a month after blowing through an old lost-and-found oxy stash. Not as body-sick as a bad alcohol hangover, but the brain-damaged feeling lingers for days/weeks. Don't think I even touched MDMA again for years, until running into pure MDMA more recently, which is slightly more forgiving (though still not worth abusing as opposed to using).

I don't know much about chemistry (neuro or otherwise), but it did always strike me as remarkable that MDMA is so similar in all its effects to its root amphetamines, yet its duration is so much shorter, yet with an inablity to re-dose properly for weeks.
If any other drug behaved the same way I'm not sure I'd bother.
MDMA has some massive teeth it can sink into you though. it often does change lives..

In the end i'm sure i've damaged myself more from less serious substances, though I often wonder if my manual-adjusting of serotonin levels over the years had a hand in converting my lifelong depressive state from unipolar --> bipolar. a gift of sorts. I don't view MDMA as any more or less harmful than the SSRIs i was fed as a young teen, years before my first Es.

for recovery i always recommend 5-HTP / melatonin and fresh air.
 
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Pardon the o/t but a big HI! to SilverFeniks! It's probably been close to two years since I've seen you around. Hope you're doing well these days :)

Sage advice btw.
 
MDMA is not exactly a drug you want to become dependent on. Especially since many pills on the street can be dirty and contain other ingredients. It's not a very safe or reliable dependency.

And I don't care what anyone says. Chronic MDMA use is not good for your brain.
 
I use to roll on molly ever weekend and by the time i quit i was eating this almost every day a gram a day. Though I do not suffer long term effects I did suffer aweful short term. For 2 weeks after I stopped taking this I kept having the tightest chest that would wake me up from a dead sleep. After that some black stool and constipation showed up. Then I started losing my vision for no reason. For four days straight everytime I would do any physical activity, i.e. get out of bed, sit up, move around, I would start to lose vision and get very very dizzy. I would see black spots, u shapes and lines of black until i lost vision completely but was still fully concious. Then it made it to the point that I would pass out and fall unconcious every time i layed or sit down to the point it would be hard to wake me up after. I started throwing up bile and was sent to the E.R. Again this was not until 2 weeks after eating this.
Turns out I had stomach ulcers from eating to much and the symptoms I was having was from to much seritonin and dopamine in my brain.
DO NOT EAT THIS EVERYDAY. I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND RE-DOSING ON MDMA.
I use to eat a g in a night and it eventually got to the point i was eating almost 3 in a night. DO NOT DO THIS TO YOURSELF PLEASE.
That two weeks before visiting the E.R. was the scariest thing. Please everyone be careful
 
Dave said:
Pardon the o/t but a big HI! to SilverFeniks! It's probably been close to two years since I've seen you around. Hope you're doing well these days :)

Sage advice btw.
Click to expand...

hey thanks Dave. it has been a while, i periodically wash ashore :)

damn, now i'm gettin all nostalgic .. E is what got me on this site in the first place. except for last year's adventures, never crosses my mind .. the past is pretty foggy for me.

Your 1st reply was spot-on as well.
it is clear so many people here have learned MDMA's lessions in a similar manner, and we all have had friends who took it much too far ... MDMA really is in a hallowed class of drugs with a seperate operating manual than any other.

<3 and respect.
[a concept for your brain also]
 
Hey Cheechy, I know how you feel about this as I am sure many other members of BL were once in the position you were in. I personally believe that YOU yourself need to decide when its right for you to enjoy some MDMA. I am not suggesting you roll whenever you want, in fact I encourage the opposite. However, I feel its very important to learn how often you should dose MDMA. You need to get at a level where you don't feel uncertain about it the next time you do it. Be confident in yourself man! You have more than enough mental strength to withstand doing MDMA too often. Take decent breaks to where you feel not only confident the next time you try rolling, but also excited! MDMA can lose its magical effects quite quickly and before you know it, it will happen to you. So for your own sake, slow down and listen to your body. :)
 
I burnt out quickly on MDMA. After a year it stopped working. I was so so so depressed/paranoid/etc for a whole fucking year afterwards. I was doing it 1 - 3 times a week for a year though.

Stick to once every few months and you'll be OK.
 
yea i started rolling when i was 18. at first it was only a once or twice thing, then it became every friday and saturday (sometimes sunday) night thing like clock work. spending rent and food money on it going on all weekend binges. this went on for 4 fucking years until i met a girl and she got pregnant. thank god for that. my one wish would be that i would have never touched that shit in my life. its been almost 3 years and im still feeling the long term effects. depression, hard time sleeping, feels like im emotionless (except with my daughter, oddly). you know how you used to stare off in school and daydream? i do that now. except when i stare off, my mind goes blank. nothing. and it relaxes me. i used to be a straight A student. i mean im not stupid by any means now but damn it if i still had all those brain cells i would be a force to be reckoned with. just please, if you cant control it get the fuck away from it. to me, ecstasy is the devil. (o plus i would have coke and ice thrown in from time to time, but never got addicted)
 
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