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Scared To Take Ecstasy Again?

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BrutalRollar

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 19, 2009
Messages
943
Location
Saskatchewan,Canada
So I'm at a festival right now, And I wanted to roll yesterday but the thing is I've been saving 9 "molly caps" for about 4 months now. I know their clean and bomb. But when I pulled one out to take it, I got terrible anxiety before I even took the pill! I felt soo scared, guitly, and just plain bad. I just stood their staring at my pills, my friends asked me if somethings wrong because I shaking uncontrollably. When I decided I'm not taking any, all these terrible feelings were gone and normal again. Well I'm still at the festival and wanted to roll tonight, but earlier I started thinking about when I should take my first dose. Then I started getting paranoid for no reason, all those feelings came back and I couldn't imagine taking the pill. Like I know these caps are very good and all. Its been over 3 months since I last rolled, and this never happened before. Just wondering if this has happened to any other bluelighters? Any way to solve this issue? Like I just can't say "fuck it" and swallow it, just thinking about taking any makes me uneasy. Looking at my pills makes me super paranoid and guitly. I don't know maybe this is a sign to quit for good?
 
I’ve never had that problem :D –

What are you paranoid / worried about, the effects of the drug or your surroundings etc?
 
I'm terrified of taking ecstacy also. The risk of suffering from anxiety and other disturbing symptoms is too real. Also MDMA is quite probably neurotoxic to some degree and is possibly bad for the heart. In fact I wouldn't touch this vile substance with a 10 foot barge pole. It's a shame since it can in some people give a good time.
 
Artificial Emotion said:
I'm terrified of taking ecstacy also. The risk of suffering from anxiety and other disturbing symptoms is too real. Also MDMA is quite probably neurotoxic to some degree and is possibly bad for the heart. In fact I wouldn't touch this vile substance with a 10 foot barge pole. It's a shame since it can in some people give a good time.
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i'm pretty sure this is what he is scared of ^^

i'd say either take it.. and tell yourself you won't do it AT LEAST until X.

or just dont take it
 
Most anxiety is casued by an irrational fear of something. In general the only way to deal with that fear is to face it head on, otherwise you just end up always in fear. If you feel fear about the danger of taking the ecstasy, just remember that if you drank alcohol or smoked cigarettes at the festival they would probably do more damage to your health than the e
If your afraid of something else then you have to figure out what that is
I would not take the pills if you are not in the right frame of mind. I found myself that taking e in a bad frame of mind meant I did not really get much of a enjoyable buzz out of it. If you are in good form then its the best
 
I would leave e alone for a while.
If you've got all this anxiety going it's probably going to reflect on your roll, which will probably end up giving you a bad time so it's a self-fulfilling prophesy in a way.
 
I know exactly how you feel. I used to feel that way too, but because something bad happened to me while i was on e. Has anything happened to you that kinda made you scared or traumatized? There's usually a reason for everything, maybe you just need to think harder if something has happened. I took a longer break than usual though, and I don't have that problem anymore. So maybe you should give it a longer break as well. Let us know what you decided to do!
 
If you are anxious about taking them I don't see the need to psyche yourself up to do it. Just save them for another time or don't take them at all. Maybe your mind just doesn't want that experience right now. E has made me very anxious in the past if I was in an environment that I wasn't comfortable.
 
Sounds like you've developed a phobia. Could be from MDMA itself or of a possible thing that could happen while rolling (ie. throwing up - one of the most common phobias). Like others have said think hard about the last few times you've rolled. Did something bad happen? Did you become sick or hear some bad news? That's likely the cause of this. No easy way to get over it unless you can find the root of the problem.
 
I would say wait until ur in a really good mood and don't feel scared 2 take it... My second time rolling(a yr ago, done it like 30x since) I was mad when I dropped 2 blue pistols and and I freaked out the whole time. I was scared, angry, and hated e and the person I dropped it w/.... I will never 4get that night
 
augustaB said:
I would leave e alone for a while.
If you've got all this anxiety going it's probably going to reflect on your roll, which will probably end up giving you a bad time so it's a self-fulfilling prophesy in a way.
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This.

Mdma is not necessarily a guarantee to a fantastic time. If you're in a bad head space then its very plausible to have a bad time. I would wait until you feel less paranoid about taking the drug, and when you are in a better psychological mind set, and may in an even better physical location. I've been at festivals that were absolutely chill and it felt right to be rolling or tripping and I've been to festivals that just had a bad vibe that made tripping or rolling feel like a bad idea.
 
BrutalRollar said:
So I'm at a festival right now, And I wanted to roll yesterday but the thing is I've been saving 9 "molly caps" for about 4 months now. I know their clean and bomb. But when I pulled one out to take it, I got terrible anxiety before I even took the pill! I felt soo scared, guitly, and just plain bad. I just stood their staring at my pills, my friends asked me if somethings wrong because I shaking uncontrollably. When I decided I'm not taking any, all these terrible feelings were gone and normal again. Well I'm still at the festival and wanted to roll tonight, but earlier I started thinking about when I should take my first dose. Then I started getting paranoid for no reason, all those feelings came back and I couldn't imagine taking the pill. Like I know these caps are very good and all. Its been over 3 months since I last rolled, and this never happened before. Just wondering if this has happened to any other bluelighters? Any way to solve this issue? Like I just can't say "fuck it" and swallow it, just thinking about taking any makes me uneasy. Looking at my pills makes me super paranoid and guitly. I don't know maybe this is a sign to quit for good?
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You should mail it to me :D . I've never felt that way, but whatever you're feeling when you take it is going to be magnified, so you were smart to not take it.
 
I haven't done LSD in ten years for this very reason. It just became such an intense experience that I just couldn't drop anymore. Granted I did ALOT of acid over a six month period, to the point where I felt all discombobulated all the time, not a good feeling.

I decided I would take a six month break from LSD, and during the break I discovered MDMA. I haven't dropped acid since.

Never had any anxiety from MDMA though, always super stoked and good vibes!

Maybe just try to take a lengthy break, get your head right before you dive back in. You may have some mental issues that you are afraid will come out while rolling? Do some soul searching and find out what's causing this anxiety and doubt. If there is something else bothering you, once you address it, then the fear should leave as well. Then you can get back to doing what you enjoy. Just a suggestion. :)
 
Thanks for all the great advice (: yeah their was quite a few bad experinces during my last few rolls which was like in like between february and april haven't rolled since. I'd rather not say what my bad experinces were though. I used to be able to take mdma without worrying about anything, I had many great times. Well maybe ill just save my pills for another 4 months or something, you can never take to long of a break hey?
 
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