"Are you okay?" "I'm FINE damnit!"

[melquiades]

I tripped with one other person (with my close friend as a sitter/driver). We ended up going to a strip club (not my idea... lol, and I had never been before, so I was a bit nervous about it).

I had started my trip with an attempt to nap (I had only had 5 hours of sleep the night before) but I think it just made my whole nap extremely sleepy. I almost felt like I was passing out at the strip club. Which I felt bad about.

Both B & K both got private dances, but I resisted... and I feel that the strippers knew that I hadn't had a dance, which was why they kept on coming over and talking to me more than they bothered B & K. I was kind of uncomfortable with out... although getting titties rubbed in your face when you're tripping on shrooms is AMAZING.

The dark, the flashing lights, the extroverted,grubbing-for-money strippers, and music too loud to have a conversation in all made me uncomfortable and not have a great time. But I was still getting great visuals, and still felt good, laughing, and body high.

When we left I admitted I had been kinda uncomfortable (it had been pretty obvious) and B & K got it into their head that I was having a bad trip. Before that night B had only ever known me as the quiet, polite, intelligent, straightforward IT guy.

When we got back to K's house I would go from jumping around to filthy dubstep to laying curled up on the couch with my blanket. I dunno, I guess I was acting weird, and I had been so tired during the whole night that I really did just want to pass out.
I was acting weird when we got back to K's house, but K knew that "weird" is normal on shrooms. B was acting like a fucking noob, he was awkwardly standing in the middle of the room and watching things. lol, obviously very fucked up. I tried to tell him to sit down but he didn't really understand me. (When I'm sitting down I hate it when people are standing.)

B started to ask me if I was okay when I was closing my eyes and wrapped up in my blanket. "Yeah I'm fine." but he kept on asking later, and his eyes told me that he didn't really believe me. At one point he tried to wake me up (he thought I was going to pass out and that would be bad)?

We talked about the experience more and K also thought I was having a more difficult time than I had been. It was pretty annoying- I didn't have much anxiety there, I was just so tired that I was fighting to stay awake and act proper!

K offered me some valium ("No thanks.") and then he said, "Yeah, it's better to work through the difficult trips, you can be the psychedelic conquerer!"
(The imagery of a psychedelic conquerer is awesome. I imagined some spanish conquistador in pulsing tie-dye armor.)

So. The topic. How do you convince people that you're fine when they have it in their head that you're having a bad trip?
I feel like K & I should have just explained more to B before he tripped, explained they were totally safe and that K & I are very experienced.

I also feel that this is another example why the question "Are you okay?" should not be asked of tripping people.


More backstory if you're curious:

NSFW:

Friday night I hung out with my friend K and my coworker B. We tried to go to a rave, but alas no one had paid to go in yet so it was getting canceled. We go back home, figure out what to do. K says that B & I should have a shroom chocolate now, and that he can drive us whereever we decide to go, if we do go anywhere.

I take my shroom chocolate, but I'm really tired (woke up at 5am with 5hours of sleep, I took the chocolate at 10-11pm-ish), so I try to take a nap before it kicks in. I curl up on the couch and I can already start feeling it kick in.

Coworker B is a stoner, and had never had psychedelics before. He had gotten dumped by his live-in girlfriend of two years on Monday, so he was feeling down. And wanted some girls. So, while I was laying on the couch, they decided that we were going to go to a strip club.

Me: "Wait, where are we going?" I've never been to a strip club, little slightly-conservative and slightly-shy me. "Ah fuck" I'm thinking. But whatever, I'll just get through it.

We're in the car and I feel the jaw & stomach tension that I always get on shrooms. B is like "I still don't feel them yet." I'm tripping by the time we're in the club. B still doesn't feel anything. K nibbles 1/4th of a chocolate.

I sit down closest to the wall, farthest away from where the strippers would be coming from, just because I'm nervous. The dark lighting and flashing lights and almost nude bodies are messing with me. (this is as far as I got before I re-wrote my post.)

 

[Sega420]

B's just a wee bit of a fanny.
dont trip around him until he learns to get a grip.

 

[BrotherSport]

The "Are you okay ?" sentence is best avoided during psychedelics trips indeed.


If I had to actually convince my tripsitter that I'm doing okay, I would seriously consider not choosing this person as a guide again, ever.

Choosing an experienced person as a tripsitter is a good rule of thumb I believe.

 

[flat line]

last thursday I spent $900 US in a strip club and can't remember shit fuck!

 

[Sega420]

The "Are you okay ?" sentence is best avoided during psychedelics trips indeed.

If I had to actually convince my tripsitter that I'm doing okay, I would seriously consider not choosing this person as a guide again, ever.

Choosing an experienced person as a tripsitter is a good rule of thumb I believe.

...

 

[BrotherSport]

Sega420, I'm missing your point here.
Could you elaborate ?

 

[Sega420]

highlighting those bits as they are very true and very good points.

 

[just me101]

I'm stupid i know, But I rolled at School once..
and i was perfectly fine and no one knew i was Rolling, until a fellow Roller saw my pupils (he never said shit before) then reapidiatly kep saying "Calm down bro" all i was doing was looking away from the general group of people and rolling my eyes lol.

Story boil's down to no one knew shit untill he wen't off with the "You ok" shit reapidatly, I feel you bro.. for me it fucking kill's my high

 

[Wise420]

I'm stupid i know, But I rolled at School once..
and i was perfectly fine and no one knew i was Rolling, until a fellow Roller saw my pupils (he never said shit before) then reapidiatly kep saying "Calm down bro" all i was doing was looking away from the general group of people and rolling my eyes lol.

Story boil's down to no one knew shit untill he wen't off with the "You ok" shit reapidatly, I feel you bro.. for me it fucking kill's my high

Much different on MDMA. When your fucked up enough on LSD(mostly) or other psychs when people start asking if your alright and shit, it is anoying but after a few times I find just trying to process and answer on the spot is difficult and can be quite awkard.

The "are you ok" thing is very true. I wish more people knew about this.

And for me personally, and a couple others I know we wont even have sitters around during trips. It feels to much like the sitter is looking over you, and at high doses can be quite difficult and awkard to respond to anything the sitter may ask. I much prefer people to be tripping with me then not, I find anything over 100 ugs will shift my reality, and normal conversations with sober people are to difficult, and if your to fucked up alot of the time the sober ones will look at you like your retarded or something for not getting your sentences out.

 

[420Jibtechwarrior]

last thursday I spent $900 US in a strip club and can't remember shit fuck!

Ewww, hope they gave you a lovely tip of crabs

 

[bipolardysfunction]

"Are you okay?" is way too vague. It makes you think and we get high so we don't have to think. What's wrong with people, lol.

 

[|>R()|)!G/-\|_]

An experienced trip sitter once shared with me that she doesn't ask "Are you okay?" because it can unconsciously signal to the tripper that you suspect something to be wrong and project anxiety into his/her experience.

Instead, she asks "How do you feel?" because it is unbiased and allows the tripper to explain/ elaborate as much/little as (s)he wishes while confirming for the sitter that all is well.

 

[Roger&Me]

"Are you ok?" = bad, BAD question to ask. It makes the tripper think that they are displaying obviously abnormal behavior that is making other people around them feel uncomfortable; this is the exact opposite of the cool thing to do.

If you think a fellow tripper is having a problem, ask them a specific, pointed question about the matter-- one that requires just a quick answer, and will settle the matter entirely. You need to use tact in circumstances like this, explain yourself fully and directly-- EMPHASIZE that their behavior is not abnormal, they aren't making you feel uncomfortable and you just want to check on one specific thing.

If you leave the question all vague and open like "are you ok?", then it can cause their mental world to spiral down to the bad place for sure.

The art of trip-sitting involves being vigilant while acting completely cool and accepting-- even if the tripper does something obviously goofy (provided the action is benign and not threatening), just go along with it and act like its normal-- because it IS. Acting weird on psychedelics is NORMAL! If you could eat a handful of shroomers and carry on with business-as-usual, that's when I would start to get worried. :D LOL

 

[Jamshyd]

I believe it was Grof or another MAPS-published author who suggested guidelines for good trip-sitting. IIRC, one guideline was that "Are you ok?" is a bad question. I'll try digging it up somewhere.

 

[bluemanthief]

"how do you feel" is definitely the best thing to ask, PRODIGAL hit the nail on the head


asking someone if they're ok or alright really does get annoying, i mean, if these people are doin drugs, they should be able to handle themselves and they dont wanna be pestered the whole time with some amateur who overreacts

 

[The Hebrew Hammer]

as a trip sitter, it is best to not ask anything of the people you are sitting for.

If they need your services, they will definitely ask you for them.

When I am sitting for someone, I will usually just go in another room and use the internet, or watch tv, or play video games, before they dose I let them know if they need anything just ask.

Periodically throughout the night I might walk arround the house just to see if they are doing anything stupid, but I never would even think of asking THEM to DO ANYTHING.

 

[Help?!?!]

For some reason I have never used trip sitters. Except for the first ever trip but my friend just came over to hang out and smoke. Many of you may be thinking how unsafe this is but for me people(even friends) that aren't tripping while I am will cause anixety. As for the "are you okay"/people not believeing you are thing I just look them directly in the eye(the soul stare) and tell them in the most soothing voice I can that everything is perfect.

 

[PepperSocks]

I like this thread.

One of the main reasons I don't trip with people is that I don't know any people with any real psychedelic experience. Any "experience" they have is taking shrooms at a party with a bunch of booze, no solo tripping at all.

When I have tripped with people in the past they're all awkward around me asking things like "How ya feelin?" and the "Are you okay?"

I haven't had that stuff send me into full downward spiral but it definitely kills my high and just makes me self-conscious and subsequently quiet and introverted (not of the good variety).

I think I'm going to explain this to some people. I highly doubt they'll understand though.

I think in order to have good tripping companions they have to have had solo trips themselves first.

 

[malakaix]

What's worse is been around an experienced yet manipulative person.

When i was still somewhat new to psychedelics i was around alot of people who had years of experience with all sorts of psychedelic drugs, most were very friendly.. although there was one guy who would effectively hi-jack people's mind-states for his own person gain or pleasure whilst they were in that vulnerable state, he was a master of manipulation and extremely persuasive.

He would mind-fuck people into terrible states, because he knew exactly which strings to pull and how they would react. It's a pity, but doing something as terrible as that doesn't go without repercussions.

 

[tBirdee]

I like this thread.

One of the main reasons I don't trip with people is that I don't know any people with any real psychedelic experience. Any "experience" they have is taking shrooms at a party with a bunch of booze, no solo tripping at all.

When I have tripped with people in the past they're all awkward around me asking things like "How ya feelin?" and the "Are you okay?"

I haven't had that stuff send me into full downward spiral but it definitely kills my high and just makes me self-conscious and subsequently quiet and introverted (not of the good variety).

I think I'm going to explain this to some people. I highly doubt they'll understand though.

I think in order to have good tripping companions they have to have had solo trips themselves first.

All of this.